by Lisa Smartt
“I’ve been eating Mrs. Ida’s pimento cheese sandwiches since I’ve been here. Will that count?”
“It will if you’ve had banana pudding or red velvet cake or some other sugar-filled evil with the sandwiches.”
“Two chocolate chip cookies and a lemon square.”
“You’re good. Shannon called me on her cell phone at about 6:00 and said you were asleep on the couch. I felt so sad for you. I wanted to be there. Have a lot of people been at the house?”
“I wish you were here too. Yeah, a lot of people have been in and out at Mom’s house. And I appreciate it. I mean, I know they’re just trying to help. Who wouldn’t want to help a poor orphan boy, right?”
“Doug, I’m sorry. Your mom loved you. She did. You know that. It was a moment of craziness. You have to find a way to forgive her.”
“I guess. Let’s talk about something else.”
“I talked to my boss this afternoon and I have Wednesday, Thursday and Friday night off. I’ll have to talk to my professors tomorrow and let them know I’ll be out Thursday and Friday. Shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll leave Wednesday after my 1:00 class. I should be there by 9:00 or 9:30. I’ll have to come home Friday after lunch ‘cause I work Saturday morning. Shannon already has a place for me to stay there. Michelle’s house, I believe.”
“Carlie, you don’t wanna stay with Michelle and Buster. Shannon doesn’t realize how much she’s let the house go since the twins came along. It’s craziness over there. Trust me. I love Michelle. She’s a wonderful woman but between four kids, three Labradoodles, and a cat who has a urinary tract infection, you wouldn’t survive.”
“I’m tougher than you think.”
“Look, Dave and Shannon are staying at the house. There’s plenty of room for you there. I’m staying at my apartment and just going over during the day.”
“But what about when Shannon’s mom comes in from California tomorrow?”
“Aunt Clarice can stay in Mom’s room. Dave and Shannon can stay in the guest room. And you can stay in my old room. It still looks like it did in high school. It may not be the prettiest but at least you won’t be attacked by Labradoodles in the middle of the night.”
“Yeah, but what about all those letters from old girlfriends? Am I allowed to read those?”
“Absolutely. When I was in fourth grade Sally Colton sent me a letter on pink paper saying, ‘I like you. Do you like me? Check yes or no.’ I think I still have it in a drawer somewhere. So yeah, knock yourself out. You can even dig through my old closet if you’d like.”
“I can hardly wait.”
“Speaking of letters, thanks for taking the time to write the note. It meant a lot to me. You’re gifted with words. Even the envelope smells like you, like vanilla or whatever that is.”
“Thanks. Doug, it’s getting late and you need to rest. I’ll be there Wednesday night. Try to get some sleep. Again, I’m truly sorry. Call anytime.”
“I’m sure the next few days will be busy around here. I’m sorry our time in Chattanooga was cut short. I’ve been thinkin’ about you though. Even today, in all the grief, I’ve still thought about you.”
“Same here.”
“I wish you could have met my mom, Carlie. She would have liked you. She would have driven you absolutely crazy, but at the end of the day she would have realized you were special and she would have done anything for you.”
“I have no doubt that’s true. I know this. She raised a boy into a really good man.”
“Thanks. Carlie, keep praying for me. I have a big journey ahead. I’ll be counting the hours till you get here.”
“Me too. See you soon. Bye.”
“Bye.”
The moment I heard the click, I was lonely again. Lonely, but extremely hopeful. Even hearing her voice made me feel…I don’t know, like the way I felt when I saw Sandra holding up that Dartmouth sweatshirt in the Daily Messenger years ago. Except this time it wasn’t just a sexual feeling. I mean, it definitely was sexual. It was predominantly sexual. But it was other things too, like the fact that she can quote poetry, that she makes me feel good about my job, that she thinks of me as a man, not some pitiful little boy. She’s funny and smart, and Shannon and Dave like her. She goes to church and knows God but she’s not all cold and better than everyone else, like she wouldn’t spend the rest of her life holding things over my head or holding up a bar knowing I would never be able to reach it. She’s horribly flawed and sometimes sinful…and all of that has made her a forgiving person. She’s a lot like Dave, except I’ve never wanted to see Dave naked.
CHAPTER SEVEN: To A Funeral We Must Go
CARLIE
November 3
I don’t even know what clothes to take. Isn’t it terrible that a woman is trying to find funeral clothes that make her behind look smaller and her top half look more appealing? Yeah. I’m pretty sure most people don’t get ready for a funeral by saying, “Wow, my behind will look great in this!”
I only have one viable option. I’ll bring the black dress and the teal jacket. Appropriate. Today I’ll wear the new black dress pants and the peachy-colored jacket I wore to Jeanie Parker’s wedding. I’m glad I decided to skip my 1:00 class and hit the road at 11:00 so I can be there during visitation. The American Revolution will have to be discussed without me today. Somehow I can live with that.
November 3 7:19 pm
I thought I’d never find a parking spot. She must have known everyone in town. After taking the block several times, I finally parked my car in front of “Sammy’s Sandwich Emporium.” I hoped Sammy didn’t get mad. Trust me, Sammy, I was desperate. I don’t believe I’ve ever even heard of a sandwich emporium. Looks like they also sell old comic books, children’s toys, dog beds, and used clothing. I could get a Reuben and chips for $4.99 and a winter coat for an additional $11.99. Gotta love a business that can multi-task. Small town livin’ at its best.
The line was out the door of the funeral home and circling around the sidewalk. I decided to stand there patiently rather than say something stupid like, “Excuse me, I’m Doug Jameson’s new girlfriend from Commerce, Georgia. Can you clear a path for me?”
An older man with a shiny bald head, dressed in a faded pin-stripe suit and carrying a cane, had gotten in line right before I walked up. “Beautiful night, isn’t it? Glad to see a little warm spell come in today. How’d you know Mrs. Susan?”
“I really didn’t. I know her son, Doug.”
“Oh, now that Doug is shore a fine fella. Yes ma’am. Sad that he lost his daddy last year and now his mama.”
“Yeah, it sure is.”
“I’m Samuel Jones, but everyone in town calls me Chester. I’m married to Ida and Ida is kin to all them Jamesons somehow. Don’t really know how. Are you from ‘round these parts?”
“No sir. I live in Commerce, Georgia.”
“Commerce…Commerce. Isn’t that where Stanley and Beth Rockford live?”
“Yes sir, it is. That’s how I got to know Doug, through the Rockfords.”
“Wait a minute!! You’re that gal they fixed him up with! Why, yes! The boys down at the coffee shop was sayin’ jest the other mornin’ that ol’ Stanley Rockford done found a woman for Doug Jameson down in northern Georgia. A Georgia peach, yeah, that’s what they was sayin’. Bill Peterman said he’d heard from Charlene that you was a big tall woman and they was right…big and purdy. Real purdy.”
“Well, thank you.”
“A guest from outta town shouldn’t have to wait in this gall darn receiving line. Here, let’s take you on in to where the family is.”
“That’s not necessary, Mr. Chester. Really, I’m fine. I can just wait with everyone else.”
“Nonsense. Jolene, make room up there at the door!! This here’s that big purdy woman from Georgia who’s tryin’ to be Doug’s new girlfriend. Ain’t no reason for her to get stuck out here with the rest of us town folk.”
Jolene was quick with a reply, “Then bring ‘er on up,
Chester. We’ll squeeze her through!”
Chester led me through the crowd as though he were my personal bodyguard. And if someone had tried to attack me, I think he coulda done some serious damage with that cane too. Finally, he turned into a room where I could see just a corner of a gray casket way up front. The crowd was maddening.
“Here, let’s see if we can go up in this side door up front. Follow me.”
I followed obediently until we turned the corner and the casket was right there. I saw Shannon and Dave in the front of the receiving line. I knew the woman in the white suit was Aunt Clarice because her hair was bright blonde but her skin was darker than an African American’s and her finger nails were painted a bright red. Then I saw Doug. Dark suit, light blue shirt, burgundy tie. His curly hair was wet with sweat. His face looked tired as though he were merely going through the motions. An older woman reached up to hug him and I could hear her say, “Your mama was a fine lady.”
About that time Chester made his pronouncement, “Hey Doug! Your woman’s here from Georgia. Don’t worry. I took good care of ‘er!”
Doug put his arm around the older woman and gave it a squeeze, then excused himself from the line. He locked eyes on mine, smiled really big, and walked at a fast clip. Not saying a word, he wrapped his arms around me and held on for a long time. His hands were rubbing my back and I even put my right hand on the back of his hair which I thought I would never do in public. It was so warm and crowded in the small room and he held me so close that I could smell his deodorant. Some kind of Irish happy place smell. Sheer bliss. Finally a young man from the back of the line said, “Well, what have we here? Looks like Doug’s woman from Georgia!”
Doug ignored the comment completely. He finally let go and then just stared at me. “Carlie, I thought you wouldn’t be here till after 9:00. I’m so happy to see you. But, I have to stand in this line for thirty more minutes. Visitation runs ‘till 8:00 and from the looks of the line, more like 8:30.”
“Don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t have even come in this way except Chester insisted. You don’t have to babysit me. You should do what you need to do. I’ll be glad to just wait in a chair over there.”
“Would you stand in line with me, Carlie? I mean, are you too tired from your trip? If so, just say the word.”
What? I never even expected this. The line was for relatives.
“Doug, I’m not too tired. But are you sure you wanna do this?”
“I’m sure. I’m tired of all the crying and the hugging and the ‘Oh Doug, I’m so sorry’ and ‘You must be dreadfully sad.’ They all mean well. They’re wonderful people. But I’m weary of grieving right now. Introducing you will give me a pleasant distraction. Besides, every person looking at us right now knows who you are. The ones who don’t know are asking the person in front of them at this very moment. Trust me. Within about forty-five seconds, they’ll all know who you are, where you’re from, your mother’s maiden name, and who you voted for in the last national election.”
He laughed a little, put his arm around my back and led me to where Dave and Shannon were standing. They introduced me to Aunt Clarice who yelled very loudly that she had a great aunt who was probably 5’11 but she still managed to get married and have children, so I shouldn’t worry. The four of us smiled. Then Doug and I took our place in the line. I thought Chester was a character. But he was not alone.
“Mrs. Mabel, this is Carlie Ann Davidson from Georgia.”
“Carlie, I have one question. How’d you snag this ol’ rascal? The gals around here have been trying to get their hooks into him for years. Marcie Jenkins at the drug store did everything short of camping out in his front yard last year. She colored her hair, lost ten pounds, and made him a fruit cake for Christmas. He was unmovable. My husband, Jim, said, ‘Doug must think he’s better than the girls ‘round here.’”
“Well, I’m sure it’s not that, Mrs. Mabel. I’m just a small town girl myself. And we haven’t known each other that long so I probably haven’t snagged him yet. So, tell Marcie Jenkins she still has a shot…but I wouldn’t recommend that she camp in his yard. Might try a more subtle approach.”
Doug winked at me like he wanted to say, “You’re funny and adorable…and Marcie Jenkins doesn’t have a chance.”
It was a pleasure to meet the members of his community one by one. They loved him. They respected him deeply. Now I saw clearly why he never moved to Nashville or Atlanta. It wouldn’t be the same.
After meeting people for almost thirty minutes a beautiful young woman with dark hair and a green skin-tight knit dress came through the line and grabbed Doug around the neck. “Oh Doug, you know how sorry I am! I loved your mother. Your mother loved me too. I think that’s why she invited me to the house that night. She was tired of you being so lonely!”
“Yeah, she was a good lady. Jessica, this is Carlie Ann Davidson. She’s from Georgia.” He put his arm around my back and pulled me to his side as if to say, “This is my woman.” When Dr. Crusoe said we shouldn’t tangle our lives with relationships, he was wrong.
I put out my hand, “It’s so nice to meet you, Jessica.”
“You too. Did Doug tell you we were on a date recently? It’s really kind of a funny story. His sweet mom…may she rest in peace… invited me to the house for dinner and didn’t tell him. But we had a great time. Oh, the laughs we had that night, didn’t we, Doug? Yeah, ol’ Doug here’s a good guy. He never even mentioned he had a girlfriend that night. I guess he forgot to tell his mom too ‘cause she thought he was like totally available.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy alright.” I was proud of my self-control and maturity. I was the bigger person. Literally and figuratively.
Doug spoke firmly, “I was still tryin’ to win Carlie’s heart at that point, Jessica. I wasn’t sure I had much of a chance.” He looked right at me, brought me in even closer and said, “I’m feelin’ a little better about my chances lately though.” He smiled broadly. Crooked teeth? What crooked teeth? His mouth was perfect.
Jessica looked disappointed but wasn’t flying the white flag just yet. “Well, Doug, you know I’m always here for you. Anytime you need anything at all, you just call me. I’ll be right over.” Her long red fingernails patted his arm. “Carlie, how long does it take you to drive here? A few hours?”
“It’s more like seven hours.”
“Seven hours? Well Doug, bless your heart! I guess there’ll be some lonely nights at your place, huh? You know you can always come down to the Wildwood in Jackson and have a drink with the gang. You know James Carter, works down at Co-Op. I think he graduated the year before you. He and Blake Donaldson go there all the time! Ranae and I go there almost every weekend. I get tired of watching the grass grow around here. There’s always somethin’ happenin’ down in Jackson.” I kept thinking Jessica would eventually take a breath. Clearly, she had the lung capacity of a Navy Seal. “Last week they had a Dolly Parton look-a-like contest and $1 drafts. Do you know Jane Lawson? Well, she works at the electric company at the front window. The blonde with the well…anyway, she won the contest! Can you believe it? Two hundred fifty dollars cash and two free beers a week for a whole year! Ranae and I got blonde wigs and tried our luck but we didn’t even place. But, several guys did ask for my number, so I guess Dolly Parton isn’t everybody’s type, right Doug? When things get back to normal, we’ll have to get you out enjoyin’ some night life!”
I wanted to say, “Yeah. You and Marcie Jenkins might wanna work together on that project. And even if you make a killer fruit cake, you haven’t got a chance!” But I was proud of my smiling silence during Jessica’s beer-laced monologue. Now I totally knew what Doug meant. She was a pretty girl, real pretty. But her demeanor was…I don’t know, kind of flaky and immature. She was a talker, not a conversationalist. Her endless talking could get old. But she did bring up an interesting question. What was Doug’s type?
“I’m not much on night life, but thanks anyway, Jessica.” He imm
ediately turned away from her and greeted his fourth grade teacher who swore up and down that she’d waited in line for more than an hour even though her sciatica was flaring up…and that his mom made the best deviled eggs in the county.
Doug had pushed Jessica away. She pushed herself on him and he pushed back. He was being kind but he was clearly not interested. Thank you, Doug. She wants you more than a bear wants honey but I’ll not feel threatened by that. It is what it is. I’m almost sure I heard my grandma’s voice, “Stand tall, Carlie. You’re not selling anything.”
Eventually the funeral home cleared out of everyone but close family. The funeral director pulled Doug aside to talk about tomorrow’s plan. I was glad that Dave and Shannon invited me to have a seat on the front row where Shannon had taken off her shoes. They both looked like they’d been hit by a bus. A large bus.
Dave spoke first. “Wow! That was intense. I’ve never seen so many people in my life.”
“How long have ya’ll been standing there?”
“Carlie, can you believe the visitation was supposed to start at 5:00 and there was already a line around the sidewalk at 4:45? We’ve stood there off and on for more than three hours. I know Doug is exhausted.”
“It means so much to him for you two to be here. You guys bring him a lotta comfort.”
Dave smiled. “He’s a great guy, Carlie. Really. I love to joke about his quirks, but he’s solid and I’d trust him with my life.”
“I get that. I haven’t known him that long, but that’s definitely my first impression. That he’s not a user or a player. He seems genuine and, well, there’s something incredibly attractive about that.”
Shannon smiled from ear to ear. “He likes you, Carlie. Dave and I remember the first time he called to tell us about your e-mails and phone calls. I hadn’t heard him talk like that in, well…forever. He hadn’t been that happy in a long time. When we saw you two together, it was obvious that it was mutual. But this thing with his mom’s death, it won’t be easy.”
“I know. I’m worried about him. Sad for him. That’s why I’m glad he has you and Dave and the rest of the family.”
