Her cheeks blanched even more as she stared at the pattern in the worn carpet. “The public has very little tolerance for police brutality. There had been too many incidents and we didn’t think the department could afford the bad publicity.” Her eyes refused to meet his.
“You’re spouting the company line, Julia. What’s the matter? Can’t you think of a better argument?” He leaned forward, curling his hands into fists to keep himself from shaking her. “Did it have something to do with the fact that the bastard was the son of a politically powerful alderman? Was that more important than the lives of my wife and son?” he taunted. What was she hiding? he wondered. Why wouldn’t she look him in the eye?
“I didn’t need a better argument because you stood there and admitted it and said you’d do it again,” she retorted. “You left me and the rest of the panel with no alternatives.”
“That suspect also had just killed my wife and unborn child,” he said softly. “I could argue that I wasn’t responsible for my actions.”
“Then why didn’t you argue that at the time?” she cried, passion in her voice. Running her hand through her hair, she finally looked at him. “Why didn’t you say that at the hearing? Maybe things would have turned out differently.” Beneath the anger in her eyes was anguish and guilt, a guilt that made no sense. Watching her, he promised himself he would find out why.
Clutching her folders more closely to her chest, she moved toward her room. “I don’t particularly want to rehash this issue. I have work to do, so I’ll see you in the morning.”
As she walked past him a trace of her scent drifted up to him. Suddenly he wanted to stop her, to take back the harsh words he’d spoken. He wanted to feel her soften in his arms, to melt into him the way she had earlier.
As he raised his hand to stop her she turned to face him. “Can we forget what happened two years ago? Neither one of us can go back and change what we did. I think it would be best to put it out of our minds.”
He let his hand drop to his side. “I wish like hell I could forget about it, Investigator. I wish I could.”
Her knuckles whitened around the folders in her hands, and again he saw the guilt in her eyes. She opened her mouth and he tensed, waiting to hear what she would say. With the instinct that had saved his hide more than once, he knew what she said would be important. Then, without another word, she clamped her mouth shut and walked into her own room. The door closed quietly, and he knew he wouldn’t see Julia again that evening.
He stood staring at the door for a long time, thinking about the guilt he’d seen in her eyes. He knew all about guilt, knew how it corroded the soul and ate away at the heart. But if she thought she was right, what did she have to feel guilty about?
The black despair threatened again, and with an effort he pushed it away. She was right. He shouldn’t have asked her about her investigation two years ago. It was over and done with, and he should have left it alone.
But he couldn’t leave it alone, he reminded himself. Not ever. Striding over to his bag, he pulled out the picture of his wife that he’d grabbed at his house earlier today. He stared down at her face, a face that had become that of a stranger even before she’d died. If he ever began to forget, there was always this to remind him.
* * *
The noise woke him instantly. It reverberated inside his skull and jarred him loose from the fitful dream that lingered on the edges of his consciousness. Pausing only to pull his gun from underneath his pillow, he pushed open the connecting door to Julia’s room. As he did so his mind identified the sound.
It was the fire alarm. Apprehension tightened his gut as he realized she’d already gone out into the hall. Running across the room, heedless of the fact that he wore only a skimpy pair of briefs, he slammed the door open and looked down the hall. She stood in front of his door, pounding on it with her fist.
The relief he felt was staggering. Stifling an almost overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around her and hold her next to him until his heart stopped pounding, he strode down the hall and touched her arm.
She jumped and whirled to face him, slumping against the door when she realized it was him.
“Thank God. When you didn’t answer the door, I got a little worried.” She looked terrified. Her eyes were huge in her pale face and her mouth was trembling.
“Come on,” he said, urging her toward the stairs. “Let’s get out of here.”
Doors were opening up and down the corridor and people dressed in their nightclothes were peering out into the hall. As they began to move to the staircase, a man in jeans and a sweater opened the door and stuck his head through.
“Sorry, folks, it’s a false alarm.” As if to underline his words, the alarm stopped abruptly. “Go on back to bed. Sorry for the interruption.”
One by one the doors down the corridor closed, until they were the only ones in the hallway. Julia started to walk back to her room, but without looking at her Luke caught her arm and stopped her. He kept his attention on the door to the stairwell where the manager had disappeared.
“Come on, Luke,” Julia whispered. “He said it was a false alarm.”
“I know.” He didn’t take his eyes off the door. “And maybe it was just a clever way to get us out of our rooms and into the open.”
He felt her shiver as she instinctively moved closer to him. “So we’re just going to stand here and wait for them?”
“No, we’re not.” He walked over to the stairs and silently pushed the door open. The bulbs that lit the stairwell were even dimmer than those in the hall, and he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. When he could see that no one lingered in the shadows, he strained to listen.
No sounds drifted up to him. He waited for a long time, knowing that if someone waited on the stairs, sooner or later they would make a noise. When it became apparent that the stairwell was deserted, he let the door shut and walked back to where Julia stood.
He watched her eyes flicker over him and realized that he was as good as naked. The low briefs that were all he wore didn’t cover much, and if she kept looking at him like that it wouldn’t be long before they’d cover even less. Taking her arm, he pulled her back into her room and bolted the door.
For the first time he noticed what she wore, and his mouth went dry. Her nightgown covered her from her neck to the floor. The delicate material was white with some kind of tiny flower on it, and the collar was edged with lace. It certainly wasn’t the kind of gown that was meant to inhabit erotic dreams, but in Julia’s case he’d make an exception.
As his gaze drifted down from her neck, his breath caught in his throat. The top three buttons of her gown were undone, and in the dim, shadowy light that filled the room the inside curve of her breast gleamed white in the darkness.
Chapter 8
Julia followed Luke’s gaze and realized that the top of her nightgown had come unbuttoned. Instant heat washed over her face, and she reached up to pull the material together.
His hand captured hers on the way. “No, don’t,” he whispered. “I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.”
Her skin seemed to tingle and she felt her breath quicken. Even in the darkness, Luke’s eyes glittered. Licking her lips nervously, she tried to tug her hand away from him and back up.
He didn’t let her go. Bending his head, he brushed his mouth over the curve of her breast, then pulled her into his arms. Her pulse stopped, then roared into life as he moved up and took her lips.
Her hands pressed against his chest and she felt his muscles quiver under them. An answering tremor rippled through her. His skin was hot and slick, covered with a fine sheen of perspiration even though it had been cool in the hallway and he was practically naked.
His muscles tensed and tightened as she moved her fingers, tangling them in the soft, curly hair on his chest. He groaned, the sound torn from his throat, and deepened their kiss. When his tongue caressed her lips, she opened her mouth without hesitation. The one tiny bit of her brai
n that could still think rationally screamed at her to stop. The rest of her, the part that had been fascinated by Lucas McKinley for the past two years and obsessed with him for the past two days, ignored it. She was falling headlong into an abyss that was hot and dark and filled with pleasure, and she went willingly.
Somewhere between the time she walked into his office yesterday and the moment he’d pulled her into his arms in this shabby motel room, she’d realized that there were depths to Luke that she hadn’t even suspected two years ago. Depths that she wanted to explore.
Stepping closer to him, she struggled to free her hands from between their bodies. When his hold on her loosened, she slid her arms around his back. It was hard and smooth, the muscles bunching under her fingers.
One of his arms tightened around her. The other, she dimly realized, hung at his side. Pulling away slightly, she looked down at it. “What’s wrong with your hand?” she asked. Could that breathless voice really belong to her?
Luke slowly looked down at his right hand. “Nothing,” he said after a minute. “It’s just attached to this.” He raised his hand until she could see that there was a gun in it.
The piece of metal gleamed dully in the dim light. Stepping away from her, he set it gently on the night table next to the bed, then pulled her close again. “It was cramping my style anyway.”
This time both his arms surrounded her and he pulled her close. His bare legs burned hers, even through the material of her nightgown. When he put one hand in the small of her back and pressed her against him, she could feel the heavy weight of his arousal throbbing against her abdomen.
“I can’t stop thinking about you, Julia,” he whispered. Brushing her hair away from her face, he stared at her in the semidarkness. “I see your face just before I fall asleep at night and as soon as I wake up in the morning. I shouldn’t want you like this, but I can’t seem to help myself.”
She didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. She couldn’t tell him that she’d thought about him, too, and not just for the last two days. All the air was trapped in her chest, making it feel as if it were going to burst. All she could do was open her mouth to his and lose herself in the sensations as his tongue stroked hers.
Every inch of her skin throbbed with the need to touch him. Sparks danced through her veins, igniting fires wherever he touched her. The case, Bobby, the reason she’d originally investigated Luke all fell away, disappearing into the rush of pleasure that surged inside her when his tongue swirled through her mouth.
She was falling, tumbling headlong into a place filled with heat and desire. Wrapping her arms around Luke, she held on tightly. When she felt herself actually moving, her eyes snapped open.
He had picked her up in his arms and was carrying her through the connecting door into his room. His room was dark, too, except for the sliver of moonlight that filtered through the edge of the curtain. The pale light silvered his chest and emphasized the lean muscles that rippled in his arms as he carried her.
Laying her down on the bed, he stood next to her for a moment, looking at her. His gaze was hot and fierce, full of desire and something more she was afraid to name. Finally he lowered himself to the bed, but instead of pulling her close he propped himself up on one elbow next to her.
“Julia,” he whispered, smoothing her hair away from her face. “Why do you keep all this passion bottled up inside?” He bent and kissed the hollow below her ear. “Why do you pretend to be so icy and composed all the time?”
She tried to explain, to tell him how she’d been caught once and never would be again, but his hand was sweeping slowly down her neck and the words caught in her mouth. He lingered at the base of her throat to smooth through the hollow there, every small movement of his hand sending tremors rippling through her. As his fingers trailed away his mouth took their place, tasting and exploring as if he had all the time in the world.
When his fingers slipped down into the valley between her breasts and casually brushed against their sensitive inner curves, she moaned, deep in her throat, and turned blindly to him. His mouth met hers and danced over her lips before returning to her throat.
His fingers continued to do magical things, still moving lazily and never coming close to the nipples that were taut and swollen, begging for his touch. His bare leg moved slowly up and down hers, nudging her nightgown aside, to tangle with her bare legs. The throbbing that was centered in her lower body spread over her arms and legs in a slowmoving wave.
Reaching out for him, she tried to pull him closer. Gently taking her hands in one of his, he held them above her head as he nuzzled the unbuttoned flap of her nightgown aside. When she felt the hot moistness of his tongue trail lightly over the curve of her breast, she drew in her breath sharply and bucked beneath his leg.
“I should have known,” he whispered, his breath hot against her skin. “Anyone as buttoned up as you seem has to be hiding something.” His mouth dipped lower, pushing the nightgown aside ever farther, and she gasped again. “And now I know what you’ve been hiding.”
Letting go of her hands, he tangled his fingers in her hair before cupping her breast through her nightgown. She arched helplessly up into him, completely consumed by desire. “Luke,” she gasped, “you’re driving me crazy.”
Suddenly he loomed over her, his features hard and taut with his own desire. “You’ve been driving me crazy for the past two days,” he murmured, brushing her nipple with the lightest of touches and watching her reaction. “Turnabout is fair play.”
Sensations shuddered through her as he continued to tease her, touching her nipple lightly then brushing over the side of her breast. Finally he let his hand slide into the open neck of her nightgown and close over her swollen breast. When he gently squeezed her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, she cried out, “Luke!”
He shifted, moving off her and reaching for the jeans he’d draped over the chair next to the bed. When she turned to watch him, her gaze fell instead on the picture that stood on the night table.
She felt as if she’d been suddenly dipped in ice water. Luke stared back at her from the side of a pretty blond woman, and he had his arm wrapped around her in an intimate way. Even if she hadn’t already known who the woman was, she would have realized that she was looking at a picture of Luke and his wife.
Slowly she sat up, clutching the open neck of her nightgown together with one hand. She wrapped the other arm around her stomach, as if she could somehow protect it from the blow she’d already received. After a moment, when she felt as if she could breathe again, she tried to slither off the bed and away from Luke.
He turned around then, a silver packet in his hand. She kept her gaze fixed on his face. Even now, the sight of his magnificent body made her feel weak-kneed. Pushing herself off the bed, she forced herself to stay and face him rather than run off to her own room and lock the connecting door.
He looked puzzled and surprised, sitting on the bed wearing only his briefs and holding the packet in his hand. When she allowed her gaze to drift down him, she felt her face fill with heat. The skimpy briefs he wore didn’t hide much in his aroused condition.
“What’s the matter, Julia?” His voice was low and husky with desire.
She clutched the collar of her nightgown more tightly. “I don’t want to be a substitute for another woman,” she said, swallowing hard to keep her voice from cracking. When her gaze drifted toward the picture of Luke and his wife, he followed the direction of her eyes. He let out an ugly curse, shocking in its violence, before he slammed the picture facedown on the table.
“You’re not taking anyone’s place. If you couldn’t tell that I wanted you and not a replacement for Linda, then you’re not as smart as I gave you credit for. But you were right to stop. I forgot a lot of things tonight, things that I have no business forgetting.” Hurling the silver packet across the room, he stood up and turned to her. “And the first one is not to mix business and pleasure,” he added grimly.
Tearing he
r gaze away from the place where the small square of foil had hit the wall and fallen to the carpet, she looked at Luke. In the pearly moonlight that managed to steal into the room he looked magnificent. His broad shoulders tapered to slim hips, and his legs were hard and lean. The bulge in the front of his briefs was mute witness to what had happened between them just minutes before.
What on earth had she been thinking of? He was absolutely right. She knew, none better, about the follies of mixing her private needs with those of her job. And the job that she’d hired Luke to do was one that required her full attention. She’d learned in the past two days that Luke was both smart and clever. She needed to have all her wits about her if she was going to steer him away from Bobby in this investigation. The last thing she needed to do was forget why she was here with him in the first place.
“You’re right,” she said quietly, trying to draw her dignity around her as she gathered the gaping neck of her nightgown. “I guess it was the stress of the day. I wasn’t thinking.”
“You’re right, you weren’t thinking. But I think I like that Julia Carleton a hell of a lot better than the one who has to plan every move three days in advance,” he said harshly.
She headed for her own room, brushing against the wall to keep as far away from him as possible. Sexual desire still rolled off him in waves, trying to draw her closer, and one part of her ached to respond.
She paused in the doorway of her own room. “I’m sorry, but it’s the second Julia that hired you, and that’s the one you’ll have to deal with. Good night, Luke.”
Closing the door gently, she knew her last glimpse of him would be engraved on her mind for a long time. As she lay down on the big bed, desire still a faint throbbing in her abdomen, she closed her eyes and saw again the pain on his face and the bleak desolation in his eyes.
The first faint signs of daylight streamed through the window as Luke pulled the curtain aside and stared out at the parking lot. There were a few more cars in the lot than last night, but they were all empty. He dropped back onto the rumpled bed, not bothering to look at the clock on the table. It was damn early and he knew it.
An Honorable Man Page 12
