“I’m still a legionnaire.” His was a calling he wouldn’t ignore. “That hasn’t changed.”
“According to you, nothing’s changed.” She frowned. “But to me, everything has.”
“Let’s not argue.” He caught her around the waist and reeled her against his chest.
“Who’s arguing?” She shoved him lightly. “I’m speaking at a volume you’ll understand.”
“There are other things I’d rather do with my mouth.” He kissed the edge of her frown.
Her resistance melted in slow increments as he worked his way from corner to corner. Then she opened for him, and he took her bottom lip between his teeth, a small hurt, before sealing their mouths. Emma moaned, and he tangled his hands in her hair, forcing her head back and her gaze to his. Her eyes widened, and he knew his must have gone silver with desire for her.
She broke their embrace, panting. “I can’t,” she whispered as her forehead met his.
“Yes, you can.” Weeks spent in a painful state of arousal made his words harsh.
“No.” She withdrew and turned from him. “I can’t.”
He adjusted his erection with a hiss and gave standing a try. “The past doesn’t matter.” He placed hands on her shoulders, massaged tense muscles. “You did what you had to.”
She shrugged him off as if she couldn’t bear his touch while her guilt rode her so hard.
Survival was instinct. You did what you had to do to make it until the end of the day. The things she’d done to ease her sorrow? They meant nothing to him. She was his. She had always been his. She always would be his. Nothing she’d done during his absence changed his feelings.
He gritted his teeth. The things he’d done, though… Yeah, he understood survival.
His hands ached for the softness of Emma, but his stomach roiled. He made fists and dragged in harsh breaths. The mental box, where his lost years resided, rattled a coy reminder.
You accepted the worst of her, it taunted, but she’ll never accept the worst of you.
“She’s not like that.” He spoke aloud before he caught himself.
Emma faced him. “Are you…okay?”
“Yeah.” He cursed as his fucked-up conscience chuckled.
“You don’t look so hot.” She stepped toward him. “And…you’re talking to yourself.”
“I’m not talking to myself.” He had absolutely spoken to himself. “My wings feel like they’ve been sandpapered.” He twisted to the side and extended one. “They still work, right?”
“Doc wants you walking everywhere for the next week. Otherwise, you’re good.”
He released a grateful sigh. Life without flight…he didn’t know how Maddie endured it.
“Look, I know this isn’t the time or the place, but we have to talk.” She modulated her tone, which was not Emma’s way. Her speculative stare had him checking himself for damage.
Nothing showed but scrapes and bruises, unless you counted what lay beneath his skin.
He needed her attention focused elsewhere, before she saw more than she bargained for. More than he could explain away with a shrug. Already she wanted answers he couldn’t give her.
“We’ll talk.” He sounded like he meant it. She smiled because she believed him.
Talk all you want. Tell her everything. Assuming you never want her to touch you again.
Grinding his teeth, he slapped the lid on his mental box shut tight and envisioned it locked. It wouldn’t hold long. It never did. It would give him time to regroup, though, and get out of Emma’s sight before the next batch of reminders of his ruination popped into his brain.
“Do you have plans for tonight?” he asked to change the subject.
“I was going to hang out with Maddie and do the girls’-night-in thing.” Concern darkened her azure eyes. “But after you guys crash-landed, I’m thinking that’s out of the question. So, I’ll probably be at home alone. Why?” She sounded hopeful. “Did you have something in mind?”
He ran a hand through his hair and hit the same train-tracked seam, winced, then lowered his arm. “I’m working on it.” Clayton had a talk coming, and Nesvia’s offer had to be addressed.
The young queen had made her offers clear. Land outside the city of Feriana would be granted to one of the brothers Delaney, along with a five-year stipend to get the colony started. In addition, she required a consul of their mutual choosing to act as liaison between all parties involved. The position would likely go to an Askaran, which muddied things.
After all, what were the odds they’d agree on a single person to hold so much power?
Still, Father had given his life for a free Askara, and this was what he would have wanted.
Harper rocked back to attention when Emma shoved his shoulder.
“I have to get back to work.” She knuckled her red eyes. “I called Marci and promised to relieve her and handle clean up.” Her jaw popped on a yawn, and he wondered how long he’d been out with his guardian demoness watching over his sleep. “Call if you need anything, okay?”
“What if I just want to hear your voice?” He caught her hand and twined their fingers. He’d soak up the sound before he made his choice and she learned it wouldn’t be Earth.
Pink worked across her cheeks. “Then you have my cell number and my work number.”
Before he could react, she leaned in and dropped a quick kiss on his mouth. She pulled her hand free and shot him a tired but hopeful smile that made his chest ache with regret.
The bell over my door rang welcome through a diner long closed. After wringing my mop dry, I leaned it in the corner, then straightened the kinks from my back. “We’re closed for the night.”
“It’s just me.” Maddie rustled the paper bags in her hands. Trailing fingers across the counter, she navigated through the dim eating area on her way toward the sound of my voice.
I inhaled and my mouth watered. “Tell me there’s General Tso’s in there.”
She dropped her bag on the counter’s edge and grabbed my chin. I was lucky she didn’t poke me in the eye. “You look like crap.”
Askaran royals suffered varying degrees of night blindness. With the main lights out, I knew she couldn’t see more than a few inches in front of her. With an arm’s length between us, I was all but invisible. I’d bet my dinner her sisterly concern was as blind as she was.
“Have you eaten at all today?” Her eyes, slightly out of focus, narrowed on my face.
“Um, a handful of jelly beans were involved.” I’d snitched those from Doc’s candy dish.
“You’ve got to take better care of yourself.” She snagged my upper arm and hauled me to a booth, which shouldn’t have been possible since halflings were stronger than most full demons.
“The day got away from me.” I grunted when she shoved me onto the bench seat. When she turned and made her way back to the counter, I rubbed Lysol-smelling hands over my face.
“You need to get something warm down you.”
My stomach agreed with her. More than that, my addiction agreed. Gaze sliding past her, I stared at the counter and the neat row of coffeepots behind her. Empty. All of them were drained dry. I knew, because I’d polished off every drop, even the sludge in the bottom. Burnt? Bitter? Grounds? Grainy? It didn’t matter. My hands shook so hard, I placed them palms-down on the table, hoping Maddie wouldn’t notice I’d had a hit of caffeine, or that I was already jonesing for another, and another, until those flashes of Harper bloodied and broken dulled to a bearable throb, one I could handle.
Caffeine was off-limits to demons, even halflings like me. Our bodies weren’t wired to handle it, and one taste sparked an instant addiction. Coffee did it for me, and I brewed pots day in and day out. Funny how I’d ended up running a diner, funnier that it had ended up running me.
Maddie was right to worry. I’d been foolish. Halflings could lapse into a coma unless we consumed enough calories daily, and my stomach’s grumble said I was nowhere near hitting that mark. No wonder mo
pping had wiped the floor with me. I’d been so lost in thoughts of Harper that I hadn’t noticed the hour or my hunger, only the craving that rode me harder by the minute.
“Eat.” Maddie dropped four Styrofoam boxes on the table in front of me. She didn’t wait for me, but popped open the first and stuck a fork in my hand. Her expression said, Eat it or I’ll make you eat it. But she needn’t have worried. Steam laced with hints of garlic made me salivate.
“Have I told you lately that I love you?” I grinned around a mouthful of crispy chicken.
“Yep. Twice. Today.” She propped a knee on the bench beside me and used her hairband to secure my mess of curls away from my face and from the sauce dying my blonde tips brown.
I shot her a sheepish grin. “You’re my vinda koosh.” My little sister. “I’m allowed.”
Rolling her eyes, she gave my head a pat. “Yeah. You keep on thinking that.”
After she cleared away the first box and set me up with the second, she slid onto the bench opposite me. “So, you and Harper talk after I left?” She toyed with crumpled plastic wrap.
My fork paused halfway to my mouth. “I guess.” We just hadn’t said much.
Her earlier excitement returned. “So who do you think should get the consul position?”
Rice landed in her lap when my fork hit the table. “Who should get the what?”
“When you say you and Harper talked…” she grinned, “…were any words involved?”
The attempt to hold back my blush resulted in a coughing fit. “Damn peppers.”
“Uh-huh.” She rested her chin on her palm and her elbow on the tabletop. “Sure.” She dug around in the bag and pulled out a couple of sweaty soda cans, then popped us one tab each.
“A consul, intended for…Askara?” I asked between sips. “Nesvia’s doing the hiring?”
Maddie tilted her hand from side to side. “It’s a fifty-fifty deal. It’s between her and the new colony leader to pick a person for the job. Someone they can both trust, and someone with the best interest of the slaves…” she corrected herself with a wide smile, “…ex-slaves, in mind.”
“That’s going to be tough.” I’d almost said impossible. “Ex-slaves won’t take well to one of their ex-masters calling the shots, but I doubt Nesvia would give the position to a freeman.”
“I agree. Clayton and I had the same thought earlier.” She took a sip from her can. “It’s too bad there’s no middle ground. Someone who’s lived on both sides and knows the score.” Her eyes, the same color as mine, the one feature we had in common, bored into me.
A shiver coasted up my spine. “You sound like you have someone in mind.”
“I kind of do, and she’d be perfect for the job.” Her fingernails tapped against Formica.
“I think the person you have in mind is happy right where she is.”
“Is she?” Her voice lowered. “I sometimes wonder.”
“Look, things haven’t worked out like I’d planned.” I shoved away my half-eaten third helping. “But I’m good. Things are just different without you around, so I have to get used to being alone all the time.” I winced. Crap. I hadn’t meant to slather on the guilt. “I’ll get over it.”
“What about Harper?” she asked softly. “Is he not helping with the loneliness?”
“He has his own issues.” I rubbed a finger in the crease between my eyebrows. “And since he’s not dealing with his, I doubt he’ll be any use dealing with mine.” I struggled to pinpoint the problem. “It’s like he’s…disconnected. There’s no past, no pain. You saw him this morning. Leaking blood like a faucet and smiling.” I cursed. “I still can’t believe he went back.”
“You know how he is.” Her voice went flat. “You’ve known his secrets longer than me.”
I flinched, but I deserved that. I’d known his secrets years before Maddie learned them. Harper hadn’t wanted her to know he was living with us in the summer castle at Rihos while gathering information for the legion to aid their cause. She hadn’t even known about Clayton.
I’d kept the knowledge Harper had a brother from her for her safety, at least in the beginning. Later, I had done it for spite, because she might not have known about Clayton, but he knew about her. He could have saved her, spared her so much pain, and saved Harper too.
And for a while, yeah, I hated his excuses and holier-than-thou attitude. I understood why he hadn’t acted. It was for the same reasons Maddie had given earlier. This colony depended on him to protect them. The legion depended on him to guide them. Even though Clayton had been infatuated with her for years, he resisted acting on his desires, for them. Then things changed.
Maddie and I became part of his colony, and life on this side of the divide was everything I’d dreamed it would be for her. It was everything I never hoped to have for myself. All of it was because Clayton never lost sight of the bigger picture. He had sacrificed so much for so long.
By the time he finally met Maddie face-to-face, he’d become a one-male, Maddie-wooing machine. I snickered at the memory. He’d waited for her for so many years, their courtship was sad to watch. She’d really done us all a favor by claiming him and putting us out of his misery.
“Hello? Earth to Emma? What are you thinking about that’s got you smiling like that?”
Smothering my grin, I went for serious. “I was just considering my pick for consul.”
Doubt weighted her expression. “Who did you have in mind?”
“Oh, um…” The problem with lying to one’s sister was being called on it. The door’s bell tinkled, but not in time to save me from answering. “Dillon?”
She twisted in her seat. “Sure, and my name’s Mud.”
Glancing toward the door, I spotted Clayton as he strolled in and headed for Maddie.
“Mud, huh?” He leaned down, pressed his lips to hers. “Does that make you a dirty girl?”
“Maybe,” she taunted. “I know one way you can find out.”
“Only one?” His white teeth flashed seconds before he reclaimed her mouth.
She sighed and linked her hands behind his neck, holding him to her. I covered my eyes and ignored the kissy noises. Then it occurred to me I should have stuck my fingers in my ears instead. Before I could plug them up tight, Maddie tugged my arm, which I lowered reluctantly.
“We’re heading home.” She scooped up the mess we’d made on the table, but Clayton took each item from her, kissing the hand holding the trash while she gave him a Cheshire smile.
“Good.” My full stomach was rebelling—hard. When Maddie frowned in my direction, I almost missed it. Those pots were back to calling my name. Oblivion waited for a filter and me to have a moment alone. Because of that, I almost missed her concern in time to dodge it. “I mean, that it’s late. We’ve all had a long day, and Clayton could use the rest.”
At the mention of what he’d been through, Maddie’s eyes turned liquid. He shot me a thank you for that look. I let my lips form a perfect “O” and covered my mouth with my hand.
He wasn’t buying my accidental interference, but oh well. She was my little sister, and I didn’t want to know those two ever did more than hold hands and skip through clover patches.
Maddie patted his chest as if thanking him for putting up with her overprotective sister. Then she glanced my way. “Do you need any help, or are you good to finish closing alone?”
“I’m good.” I scooted out of the booth and wrapped her in a hug. “Thanks for dinner.”
She squeezed back. “I still owe you a movie. Want to double date?”
Hours vegging out with Harper, our siblings on the couch at our back. His ebony features blending with shadows as he stretched amid a sea of pillows and blankets on the floor in front of the TV. I pictured it clearly. All the things his hands could do under those blankets, in the dark.
“It depends.” I walked them to the door. “Harper said he was working on something. I’ll have to catch up with him first and see what he cooked up before w
e commit to anything.”
“A mystery date.” Maddie sighed. “Sounds romantic.”
“Or like poor planning.” Clayton frowned at the wistful tone of her voice.
I arched an eyebrow, and he did too. My sister shook her head, used to our standoffs.
“Come on, you.” She hooked her arm through his. “Let’s get you home and in bed.”
“I thought you’d never ask.” He let her lead him onto the sidewalk, then they glanced up and I noticed heavy clouds churning above the streetlamps. Clayton scooped her legs from under her, spinning around in dizzying circles as rain fell. All the while, he beamed down at her as she laughed. Cradling her, he held on as if carrying the most important thing in the world in his arms.
My forehead met icy glass, and I watched as he set her on her feet, reeled her in, tucked her under his arm and kissed the crown of her head. For the first time, I conceded there might possibly be one person better suited to looking out for my sister’s happiness than me.
Chapter Three
When I finally reached home, it smelled odd. Welcoming in a way the place lacked since Maddie moved in with Clayton. Instead of old wood and cool night, it smelled of warm oven and sugar cookies. They were my favorites.
Wrinkling my nose, I sniffed the air and followed the sultry current from the front door to the rear of the house and the galley-style kitchen. I touched the stovetop. Heat ebbed through the cracked ceramic and thawed my fingers. The rainstorm between town and here had frozen me.
Winking flame teased the corner of my eye where candles danced in crystal holders.
“Maddie?” My voice bounced off the walls, absorbed by the pitch-black living room.
Evermine: Daughters of Askara, Book 2 Page 2
