She patted my knee. “It’s not as if the windows won’t wipe clean.” She stared through me, as if she were conversing with the seat cushion rather than who sat upon it.
I leaned forward and lowered my voice. “I don’t have to leave.” I took her hands. “I can stay with you longer if you’d like.”
I crushed the remembered sound of Harper’s voice too late.
Don’t. He’d snarled at me. Don’t you dare make me believe you’re coming back.
He thought I’d left him for good. I’d glimpsed acceptance in his eyes and encouraged his misconception. I’d burned him too many times. He wouldn’t listen, and even if he had, he wouldn’t have believed me. This time making an apology was better than asking permission.
Nesvia had needed me. Even if she hadn’t, I would have gone. What he said to me in the mine held true. He was the perfect scapegoat for everything that had transpired, and I wasn’t about to forfeit my best chance to protect him. I had vouched for Nesvia’s claim of time spent in the colony. As consul, the duty to negotiate such a visit would have fallen to me, if she’d asked.
As expected, Roland covered his tracks too well for us to uncover any damning evidence. I had the letter, but all that proved, as Harper had said, was that he had more money than sense. The upside to his hands remaining clean was he’d made Nesvia’s disappearance easily explained away by a few well-placed apologies. She had resumed her role without fanfare, and only a paltry few were the wiser. Most importantly, her reputation remained unblemished.
Nesvia jarred me from my thoughts. “You have a life, a male, both waiting for you.” Her slight hesitation made Rideal’s shoulders tense. “You’ve kept them waiting long enough.”
I couldn’t voice a response, but I squeezed her fingers tight.
Rideal faced me. “It’s kind of you to offer, but I am capable of caring for my wife.” The weight of his scrutiny made my spine stiffen. “What happened to her…” his voice bordered on a growl, “…will never happen again.”
My lips clamped shut over the accusation weighting my tongue.
“Rideal…” She sighed. “Your concern is well-meant, but misplaced. New guards are in place. You handpicked my food tasters.” Her voice stilted. “You’re home now. All is well.” The smile she flashed me was over-bright. “Emma, you can go with a clear conscience.”
My concern for her made that impossible. “What about Roland?”
Rideal answered for her. “He is the future king of Sere. If we accuse him without proof, we not only risk war with a neighboring kingdom, but with one of our staunchest allies. It’s an ill-advised course of action and should be avoided if at all possible.”
Out of politeness, he didn’t mention Nesvia’s emancipation movement had depleted Askara’s military reserves, or that the bulk of Askara’s army was comprised of Sereians loyal to Sere’s crown. If war with their homeland came, which side would they choose? I was afraid he knew the answer.
“I am your proof.” Nesvia raised the level of her gaze slowly. “Aldrich says my memories are my own.” She blanched. “I could—”
“No, love.” His cold expression thawed beneath her regard. “I won’t subject you to a public retelling of a private horror.”
The night Aldrich had coaxed her memories to the surface, after she had gone to sleep with the aid of some herbal concoction of his, a bestial roar had sent me running down the stairs. I’d feared—or hoped—it was Harper. Bursting into the study, I found Rideal on his knees, staring into the empty fireplace. The room had been destroyed. Not a stick of furniture had escaped his wrath.
When he glanced up and his eyes met mine, I saw reflected the same font of agony that had welled in me during the years I’d thought Harper was dead. Nesvia had survived, but I read Rideal’s stark fear he’d lost her regardless. She flinched to look upon him, and there was no easy solution when your husband and your tormentor wore near-identical faces.
He cupped her cheek. “Give me time.” He promised, “If I cannot find the solution, I will make one.”
“I know.” Nesvia gifted Rideal with a hesitant smile before withdrawing. The instant their connection was broken, the fierce joy of the previous moment was lost to his expression.
One glimpse of his grief made my window, once again, the most appealing focal point in this sled. Minutes later, metal clanged overhead, rousing our dour cabin.
“I will miss our talks.” Nesvia glanced up. “You will visit me?”
Our driver yelled over the sound of his bell ringing, clearing us a path through the crowd.
“Town isn’t so far away,” I assured her as she sat back and arranged the multilayered gown pooling around her feet and mine. Her gown shimmered in sunset reds, bejeweled with ruby and citrine accents. At her request, I’d worn formal attire as well, in twilight blue. “I’ll visit—often—and I promise you several weeks of my company every year during vernal court.”
“Good.” She closed her eyes, and I imagined she centered herself. “I’ll hold you to it.”
I closed my eyes as well, trying to borrow her trick. Instead of peace, I found Harper’s wounded expression painted on the backs of my eyelids. Whether from the time I’d left him at the earthen colony, or left him at the Feriana colony, I couldn’t say, which made it worse.
I frowned at a five-finger stain I’d sweated onto my gown and turned my hands palms up.
Three months. Longer than I’d ever meant to leave him. Did he believe I’d come back, despite his warning? Or had he abandoned all hope of my return? I’d find out soon enough.
I rested a hand across my abdomen and corset met my palm. I couldn’t breathe.
“Only a female could complicate so simple a thing.” Rideal shook his head.
“Excuse me?” He’d overheard my conversations with Nesvia. He knew of my intentions. I was the one left with no clue as to his meaning, which seemed to be the status quo between us.
“It is a female’s right to choose. The male has no say in the matter.”
“He has a choice.” I tugged at the neckline of my gown. “I won’t force myself on him.”
Rideal canted his head as he studied me. “And if he says no? What then?”
My throat burned. “Then there will be three passengers on the return sled to Feriana.”
The sled glided to a prolonged stop, and Nesvia’s uniformed footman opened the door.
He offered her his hand, and she took it with a smile that sent a blush across his cheeks until Rideal’s scowl washed all color from his face.
My nails lengthened, sank into the meat of my palms and punctured.
I was human enough, and had spent enough time on Earth, to gather fairytale notions. I had wanted this day to be perfect. Askaran females married their consorts, but Evanti males were claimed by their mates. Since we weren’t on Earth, where human customs applied, claiming Harper was as close to walking down the aisle as I’d ever come, and I dealt with the same jitters as any bride on her wedding day plus the pressures of her would-be groom. I’d yet to propose, and he’d yet to accept. How did women stand the pressure? Where did men find the nerve?
“Lady?” I started at the sound of the footman’s voice. He reached for me, and I panicked. My gaze darted around the carriage but landed on the empty seat across from mine. I scanned the crowd outside. Only the topmost curls in Nesvia’s upswept hair were visible above the wall of muscled guard around her. Rideal prowled in her wake. They’d left me to my fate.
Thanks in no small part to the footman’s expertise, I exited the sled without incident. He bowed, then reclaimed his seat by the driver. A crack of leather reins and the sled glided away.
I stood there on the sidewalk, abandoned. Harper was nowhere in sight. I recognized no one. No one came for me. Hot air knocked curls from my chignon, mocking me on its way past.
Heat pressed on me as if I was a rare flower it meant to dry between the pages of a novel.
Embarrassment flushed my cheeks as colonists walk
ed past, shuffling me aside, uncaring who I was or how I’d come to stand between them and the celebration they were eager to attend.
A familiar wolf whistle pierced my ears. Mason weaved through the crush of bodies, beaming at me. “Well, well.” When he reached me, he took my hand and spun me in a circle. “You clean up nice, Miss Emma.” His smile showcased perfect white teeth set in a killer smile. He wore glamour, more human than Askaran, out of habit. His baby-blue eyes twinkled. His blond hair twisted in crazed spikes as if he’d run his hand across his head one too many times.
I teased him, grateful for his rescue. “I guess the raiders didn’t kill you off after all.”
“Nah.” He tucked me beneath his arm and guided me through the milling crowd. “They’re out there, but they’re not giving us any grief. Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”
As the sounds of the celebration faded to a whisper, I asked, “Where are we going?”
His shrug rolled me against him. “I had orders from Dillon to wait up front and bring you here if you showed up.” He pulled me along, though my steps began to lag. “Come on, now. You’re safe with me. My momma would tan my hide if I hurt a hair on a woman’s head.”
I laughed for the first time in ages, enjoying the touch of Earth he brought to this place.
“You’re right.” I elbowed his ribs. “She would. And your daddy would lend her his belt.”
His chuckle vibrated against my side. “You’re right about that.” He led me stumbling through the mazelike swath of tents and into a clearing in what must be the center of the colony. At the end of the farthest row, a male sat on a crate and stared out into the desert beyond his city.
“Look, no offense, but I’ve got to head back.” Mason tapped a scroll case at his hip.
“I… Thanks.” I took a step in Harper’s direction.
“No problem, ma’am.” He tipped the brim of an imaginary hat and left.
My laughter brought Harper’s head up sharp, drying the sound in my throat.
Harper’s lips parted on what might have been a greeting, but they closed before any sound escaped. He stood and dusted his hands. Sand caked his pants and clung to his skin. His dark wings peeked over his shoulders, emotion saturating them in reds. Scars showed on his forearms, but they were the ones he chose to remember. He hid the ones I would never forget.
“You’re not attending the celebration?” I asked, pretending not to notice his vibrancy.
He stared at me the way a dying male eyed a mirage in the desert, with cautious optimism.
“We had a situation this morning. Things got out of hand.” He indicated his grungy hair and clothes. “I lost track of time. I’d just sat down to rest when I heard you.” He smiled. “Hi.”
My steps slowed. Now I was the uncertain one. I’d expected anger or resentment. This was neither. Harper was playing nice. I wondered why. What had changed since last we met?
“Hi yourself,” I said.
He scratched at his scalp, shaking sand free. “I owe you an apology.”
His words froze me in place. “Who are you and where is the real Harper Delaney?”
“I deserve that.” He closed the distance between us. “I promised myself after…” His wings flushed crimson. He cleared his throat. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to choose. I know you enjoy your work. You’re invested in it, and if you do it best from inside the city, that’s fine.” He scuffed his foot. “I shouldn’t have made out like you couldn’t come back if you left.”
“Harper—”
He held up his hand. “No, hear me out. I thought I could waltz back into your life like I’d never left it. I didn’t think.” He shrugged. “We’re different than we were before. We grew up.”
I swallowed a lifetime worth of fear. Please don’t let this end before we have a chance to begin. “What are you saying?” I held my head high, squinting into the sun to cover my dread.
“I’m telling you…” his hand dropped, “…I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
I felt my lips go slack. “You mean with or without a commitment?”
His jaw clenched. “Yes.”
Shock pushed the words from my mouth. “So if I swing by on the weekends and we…”
A muscle worked in his cheek, but he nodded.
“You’d let me use you that way?” Forget the sun, my temperature was rising.
His shoulders tensed, and he gritted out the words, “It sounds like you’re uninterested.”
This proud male offered his body for my use, and all I could think was, “How dare you?”
His eyes widened. “What did I do?”
“Besides cheapen yourself?” I crowded his space. “You are not a body to be used.”
“I know that.” His eyes narrowed and his glamour flickered, hinting at his hidden scars.
I dug my finger into his chest. “Then why would you offer me something like that?”
He bent down so our breaths meshed. “Because living with the alternative isn’t living.”
“What alternative?” I screamed. “You’d rather be my personal sthudai than my mate?”
He grabbed my jaw and forced my head back. “What did you say?”
“I said mate.” I shoved him backwards. “What did you think I wanted you for?”
His lost expression crippled my anger. He’d meant every word. I could have him as a lover with no strings attached. Leave him here, live in the city, and have the best of both worlds.
“You didn’t claim me.” His eyes held wounded accusation.
“I wanted to.” I rubbed a hand down my face. “I didn’t know how.”
He scowled. “You take a male into your body and tell him he’s welcome to stay there.”
Flames curled up my neck and roasted my cheeks. “I thought there was some kind of ceremony involved.” I dropped my hand and let him see my embarrassment. “Think about it. This is Askara—there’s a ceremony for everything. I assumed once Maddie took a consort, we’d talk and she’d tell me how it was done.” I wrinkled my nose. “Then she mated Clayton and it was too awkward. I mean, it was my sister and your brother. Would you have asked them?”
His lips twisted. I’d thought not.
“You could have asked me.” He took a cautious step closer.
“You light candles and bake cookies.” I followed his example. “You rent movies I like and call work to find out when I’ll be home.” I smiled when his wings blushed. “You like romance.” I closed the gap between us. “I wanted to get it right. I wanted to make this special.”
His shy smile was my undoing. “You’re sure?”
“The question is…are you?” I joined my left hand with his. “Harper, I’ve loved you ever since I can remember. I will love you until there’s no more life left in me or until death parts us.” I bit back silly tears. “If I lose you, it won’t be for long. There’s nowhere you can go that I won’t follow.” His fingers tightened around mine. “I would be honored if you agreed to be mine.”
He crushed me to his chest, wrapped me in his strong arms and held tight. His wings arced over us, shading us in privacy. He tilted my head back, gently this time. “I am yours.” His lips tasted of infinite sweetness, of forever, of never waking alone again. “I always have been.”
Harper’s heart thumped beneath my palm. He smoothed his hands up my shoulders and slipped the straps of my gown down my arms. His nimble fingers plucked the strings of my corset, then his blunted claws sliced through the ribbons and cracked open my casing. Fabric peeled from my chest and hung limp from my waist. For the first time since leaving the city, I could breathe. My breasts were bared to the dry heat, and anticipation slicked my skin with sweat.
Concealed beneath his wings, I’d forgotten there was a world beyond the two of us. Then the realization I was half naked and he was working on stripping me nude made me cup my top to my chest and say, “We can’t do this out here.” I lowered my voice. “Someone might see.”
He growl
ed possessively against my throat.
Then we were falling. Fabric ripped and he grunted on impact, rolling until he flipped me beneath him. I stared up at a framed network weighted with canvas, dimly registering the fact we had fallen into a tent. I met the silvery eyes of my mate before he sat back, jerked his shirt overhead and kicked off his boots. He slid his pants from his hips and resettled between my thighs. He lowered his face, nuzzling my breasts and working his way to my navel.
I stroked his jaw, relishing the feel of his lips moving over me.
More fabric tore. Goodbye gown.
“Buy you a new one,” he murmured when I tensed. His teeth found my hipbone, and he nibbled while his claws sliced me free of my panties. He tossed them aside, leaving me naked on a mound of silk.
His head lowered, and his tongue found my center. I grabbed his shoulders and sank my claws in deep. He shivered and captured my tender nub between his perfect lips while he licked maddening circles that drew my hips from the ground. My fingers sank into his hair and pulled him down or levered me up, I wasn’t sure which. I was panting, sweating, so close to dying from pleasure, I heard my eulogy murmured in the crazed rush of blood through my ears.
When his finger slipped inside me, I lost track of time. Muscles clamped and vision left.
Sightless, I heard his chuckle, felt his damp skin slide over mine until I knew if my eyes worked, I could stare up into his face as he took me. Hot and smooth, his hard length prodded my core. I spread my legs in welcome. His thumb circled my clit, made my hips buck off the ground, before guiding his erection inside me. The slow stretch of tender skin around hard male made me burn. He braced on either side of my head, his arms brushing my ears as he shifted.
“Open your eyes.” Soft lips brushed my eyelids.
I hadn’t realized they were closed. Blinking him into sight, I saw him smile and wanted to taste it. He bent his head to me, let me savor his cardamom and date flavor. My taste lingered on his tongue, but I didn’t mind. All I had ever wanted was this male, and now I had him. He was truly mine, always.
“I love you.” I spoke around his lips, unwilling to sever contact.
Evermine: Daughters of Askara, Book 2 Page 20
