FROM: Claudia D’Souza
SUBJECT: Sigh . . .
DATE: 26 June 2018 at 16:55
TO: Samantha Greenwood
Disaster! Isabel doesn’t want to move. You’re stuck with her. I wonder if Ziggy put her off when she visited Mount More. I’ve heard she can be cold. If we leave it a few weeks, then get her together with my friend Una, she may feel more welcome and positive about working there. In the meantime, perhaps you could drop a few hints about how you would like to move there . . . You can tell I haven’t given up hope – I hate the thought of you fending off a leech all day. People like that are energy vampires. Obsession is worse than bullying in its insidiousness. I’m going to think positive about the Yogathon and say yes, I’ll go. Michael hasn’t agreed to stay in yet, but perhaps if I present it as a fait accompli . . . How are you fixed for lunch next week? C x
FROM: Claudia D’Souza
SUBJECT: Re: Sigh . . .
DATE: 26 June 2018 at 17:04
TO: Samantha Greenwood
Oh poor you! If you’ve got a cold, you definitely shouldn’t do yoga! Don’t feel bad. I wasn’t dead set on going and, even if I were, there would still have been the Michael hurdle to overcome. If you’re better next week, drop me a line and we can meet up over one of the Orangery’s delicious Super Salads. I hope you’re better for your play next Friday. I hardly ever go to the theatre. If I’m honest, I find it boring and my mind wanders. But it won’t when you’re onstage, I promise! Hope you’re better soon and don’t spend the whole weekend coughing and sneezing! C x
FROM: Glen Reswick
SUBJECT: Pet insurance
DATE: 26 June 2018 at 17:30
TO: Martin Hayward
Don’t tell Paige. She’s at a chemo kids’ picnic (it’s not called that – something the hospital does) with Poppy. Helen asked me to give you our pet insurance details, and I said I would, but the truth is I didn’t bother with it after the first few months. It was extortionate. Yet another expense every month. Have they said how much? If it’s over £100, tell them to put him down. I’ll tell Paige he couldn’t be cured. It will be the best thing all round, given how much he costs to feed, plus what we’re giving Emma to look after him. We can’t afford this at the moment. My interview yesterday was a no-go, but at least they told me there and then. Thanks for dealing with this, Martin, appreciated.
FROM: Martin Hayward
SUBJECT: Re: Pet insurance
DATE: 26 June 2018 at 17:57
TO: Glen Reswick
The obstruction was a calcified amalgamation of synthetic fibres, woodchip, polystyrene beads and a cushion cover in the shape of Vishnu. They also found a small plastic dinosaur, a golf tee and a coin, which I told them to put towards the bill. This they refused to do because it was a euro and they don’t accept foreign currency. Woof is in intensive care, groggy and unrepentant. I’ve already paid them. Martin
FROM: Emma Crooks
SUBJECT: Re: Woof
DATE: 26 June 2018 at 18:46
TO: Sarah-Jane MacDonald
Woof has pulled through! I’m so pleased. Bless Martin, he knew how worried I was and made a special trip to see me on the way back from the vet. It was nothing we’d done. Woof had simply got a blockage or something. What a relief! I’ll see you 6 p.m. Saturday at The Grange. Em x
FROM: Lauren Malden
SUBJECT: Hiya!
DATE: 28 June 2018 at 06:29
TO: Isabel Beck
Hello lovely! It’s been ages, how are you? Any news, any gossip? Mum says the play is soon. We hope to get back for it, but we’ve got so much on we might have to send our good luck instead. How are rehearsals? I know you’ll knock ’em dead! How’s Poppy? Mum says they’re still raising money and have even had a hoaxer promise to pay the bill. She’s surprised anyone would do such a thing, but after working at St Ann’s, I’m not. Please tell me you’re moving on, Issy. You shouldn’t stay there just because of your friend. I know you love working with her, and that you don’t want to even contemplate this: but she might not feel the same way about you and could leave any time. I don’t know when I’ll next be up there, but let’s meet when I am. Will let you know when I’m free. In the meantime, keep me updated on all the news. Kiss kiss L x
FROM: Isabel Beck
SUBJECT: Re: Hiya!
DATE: 28 June 2018 at 06:44
TO: Lauren Malden
Sam feels exactly as I do. We could be sisters. She isn’t like you and me. She doesn’t put up with you-know-who like we did. She’s already spoken to Claudia in HR, and between them they are going to make sure YKW is either moved or moves of her own accord. One way or another, she’ll be gone soon. It hasn’t happened yet, but I’ve watched Sam and she doesn’t let anything slide. She’ll keep on, and people listen to her. Anyway, we’re planning to go to Africa together and distribute T-shirts. It was Sam’s idea. She said we work together so well, we’d be ideal for that sort of trip. It’ll take a while to plan, so we’re not too career-focused at the moment. I don’t know when I’ll have time to meet up. Issy
FROM: Sarah-Jane MacDonald
SUBJECT: Yogathon tomorrow
DATE: 29 June 2018 at 09:32
TO: Martin Hayward
Martin, Helen has agreed to say a few words at the start of the Yogathon. Please can she talk about the raffle and say tickets are available from reception at The Grange and from any of the committee members (who should all be there at one point or another). I’ve mentioned it to her at rehearsal, but I’m relying on you to keep reminding her. Until the play, this is our main source of fundraising, so I’m keen for it to be a success. We’re entering the point of saturation, where everyone who knows us has already donated. We need to keep reinventing the appeal, so to speak. I’m not counting your venture with Lydia Drake. You know I have reservations about that, but am happy to be proven wrong. Look forward to seeing you tomorrow for some Zen calm on the lawn.
Sarah-Jane MacDonald
FROM: Martin Hayward
SUBJECT: Re: Yogathon tomorrow
DATE: 29 June 2018 at 10:18
TO: Sarah-Jane MacDonald
Helen is duly briefed. Paige, Glen, Poppy and I are all hoping to be there for the start, if not the end. Regards, Martin
Message exchange between Sarah-Jane MacDonald and Kevin MacDonald on 29 June 2018:
10:22 Sarah-Jane wrote:
I’m still in Martin’s bad books, but if that stops him gambling with any more appeal money, then so be it. Harley must go directly from cricket to rehearsal on Sunday, is that clear?
10:30 Kevin wrote:
Dear Kevin, please can you get up early on your only day off to take our sports-averse son to cricket, squint at him across a vast plain while he fields for two hours, a mile from the crease, then drive him straight to an all-day rehearsal without passing a sanitary toilet or a dinner plate. Thank you so much. Your loving wife.
10:32 Sarah-Jane wrote:
You know that’s what I meant.
FROM: Paige Reswick
SUBJECT: Poppy
DATE: 29 June 2018 at 10:49
TO: Dr Tish Bhatoa
Dear Tish, It was lovely to see you at the Teddy Bears’ Picnic. Thank you for inviting us. It means a lot that you came too. I know all the parents were delighted to see you. Poppy had a wonderful time. Since all this happened her social life has shrunk, so it’s good to see her interacting with other children in a normal way, and not from a hospital bed. There were two other little girls there: Millie and Caroline, both Poppy’s age and both on their first course of chemo. Poppy is twice their size. Is that right? What I mean is, despite all she’s going through, Poppy is hitting her growth and development targets. I’m still concerned the drugs she’s on aren’t working. I suppose I just need a bit of reassurance. Thanks so much again, Tish, Paige x
FROM: Dr Tish Bhatoa
SUBJECT: Re: Poppy
DATE: 29 June 2018 at 12:01
TO: Paige Reswick
&n
bsp; Dear Paige, I can’t comment on other patients’ treatment or their reactions to it. If it would set your mind at rest, I can drop by when you’re in on Monday and give Poppy a quick examination. Dr Tish Bhatoa
FROM: Tish Bhatoa
SUBJECT: Dan
DATE: 29 June 2018 at 14:37
TO: Ravi Bhatoa
Have you heard from Dan? I’ve sent emails and texts – no reply. Nothing since 12 June. We’ve had no reports of renewed fighting there, but why would we? No one is reporting it. It’s rare to go this long without any communication from him. I’m considering contacting the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, but am mindful he wants to lie low as far as the authorities are concerned. It’s at night I can’t stop thinking about him. Have you heard anything? Tish
FROM: Ravi Bhatoa
SUBJECT: Re: Dan
DATE: 29 June 2018 at 15:01
TO: Tish Bhatoa
I’ll worry about Dan precisely as much as he worries about us. He helps strangers on the other side of the world while his family fends for themselves. Does it never rile you that we bust a gut for Mum and Dad, and they take us for granted? He’s barely sent them a card in fifteen years, yet he’s their golden boy. No, I haven’t heard from him and if he’s disappeared, then he’s probably seen the latest invoice from Edenfield. Rav
PS And don’t get me started on the other stuff. If you spend your time and money picking up the pieces for him, that’s up to you.
PPS If you really want him to get in touch, stop sending the monthly allowance you pretend to me you know nothing about.
PPPS And if you want to know why it’s you he stays in contact with, not M&D, see above.
FROM: Tish Bhatoa
SUBJECT: Re: Dan
DATE: 29 June 2018 at 15:25
TO: Ravi Bhatoa
Whatever you think of him, he’s our little brother and he is doing important work that we would all do if we could. If something’s happened . . . I can’t even think about it. The ‘other stuff’ was made up by an attention-seeking liar and I’ll prove it. Let me know if you hear anything.
FROM: Arnie Ballancore
SUBJECT: Where am I, mate?
DATE: 30 June 2018 at 17:53
TO: Kel Greenwood
I’m stuck in Lockley Bois and I’ve never even heard of it. There are no more trains today and it’s not remotely dark. Things are different out in the sticks, no? I want to get back for Sam’s yoga thing but can’t see it happening. Arnie
FROM: Arnie Ballancore
SUBJECT: Re: Where am I, mate?
DATE: 30 June 2018 at 18:11
TO: Kel Greenwood
Thanks mate. You don’t have to do that, but it’s really kind. See you soon.
FROM: Isabel Beck
SUBJECT: Re: lift to yoga
DATE: 30 June 2018 at 18:12
TO: Samantha Greenwood
Hiya! No problem, I’ll get the bus to yours, so Kel can rescue Arnie. I’m only watching yoga videos on YouTube and listening to this guru speak about energy flow. Lucky Arnie having a friend in Lockley Bois! There are huge houses out there. Just think, this time next week we’ll have done two shows and only have the last night to go! Can’t wait to see your flat! It looks lovely on Street View, but I notice the pictures were taken three years ago, so you didn’t live there then. Once the play is over, we can start planning our trip. I think about you and our journey to Africa every time I pick up my rehearsal bag, and my heart jumps a little bit. I’ll definitely take it with me when we go. I expect we’ll have to launch a separate appeal to collect old T-shirts. It might be awkward if everyone is still raising money for Poppy, but I’m sure they’ll have reached their target soon enough and then we can start ours. In any case, we’d be asking for T-shirts in the first instance, rather than money. I hope Kel and Arnie get back in time for the Yogathon. If not, we’ll have to make our own way to The Grange. Don’t worry if we do – I know the buses. See you soon! Love Issy xxxx
Midsummer Yogathon
Saturday 30 June 2018
7 p.m.–midnight
Join Emma Crooks at The Grange for an energising evening of karmic renewal under the waning gibbous moon.
Decongest spiritual channels, manifest deep gratitude and awaken your calm.
£10 per person (no concessions)
Organic herbal refreshments available to purchase
All proceeds in aid of A Cure for Poppy
FROM: Paige Reswick
SUBJECT: Poppy
DATE: 30 June 2018 at 19:40
TO: Glen Reswick
I’ve taken that scary voodoo thing away from Poppy. It gave me the creeps, but more because it’s made of hair and dirty cloth or something and her immune system shouldn’t be exposed to germs. I don’t know who gave it to her, but if anyone asks after it, tell them she loves it, won’t put it down, etc. xx
Message exchange between Kevin MacDonald and Sarah-Jane MacDonald on 30 June 2018:
21:23 Kevin wrote:
With Simon and the rest. Gonna be an all-nighter. Sorry. Good news. Colin says yes to £50k! Instructed his PA to make the transfer while I was there, so he’s as good as his word. But you won’t believe who Clive Handler is. Was. Is or was? Hope yoga going well. Talk later, must go – in toilet.
21:35 Sarah-Jane wrote:
GET A TAXI HOME. Harley is due at cricket 9 a.m. Yoga nightmare. Fuck!
Message exchange between Sarah-Jane MacDonald and Magda Kuchar on 30 June 2018:
21:35 Sarah-Jane wrote:
Are there any more clean towels?
21:36 Magda wrote:
No. That is all. Delivery from laundry tomorrow. There bag dirty towels. You want?
21:37 Sarah-Jane wrote:
Anything. Anything to stifle the smell.
Message exchange between Emma Crooks and Sarah-Jane MacDonald on 30 June 2018:
21:39 Emma wrote:
I know he says not to call an ambulance, but do you think we should? That was some punch. He may have, er, lost control of himself because he lost consciousness.
21:44 Sarah-Jane wrote:
The three people with him are all nurses, so they should know. Let’s see how he is after this break. Emma, you’re a trouper. Thank you for carrying on and keeping control of the class. At least Joyce got Barry out before he threw a punch at anyone else. When he sobers up, I expect him to buy a whole book of raffle tickets.
FROM: Joyce Walford
SUBJECT: My Barry
DATE: 30 June 2018 at 22:43
TO: Sarah-Jane MacDonald
That chap started it. He swore blind he’d given me a tenner and was waiting for change. He hadn’t even paid! That trick’s as old as the hills, but so am I, and I told him so. He properly squared up and, if the trestle table wasn’t between us, I don’t like to think what he might have done. My Barry only went to have a word with him, but he does martial arts and doesn’t know his own strength. What a nasty piece, trying to rob from a charity. I take it he’s a friend of those nurses. Anyway, my Barry is sorry to disturb the yoga and hopes everyone is ok. Joyce
FROM: Sarah-Jane MacDonald
SUBJECT: Re: My Barry
DATE: 1 July 2018 at 08:44
TO: Joyce Walford
I said to Joyce Walford. I said I’m dictating this because I’m driving Harlem to cricket. I don’t know what happened, but it was literally message. When people take pinches in films they don’t sow them hitting themselves. Harlem! Language. Lucky we had ne’er share who said apparently it’s Norman. I have no idea who that man was nor how he is now. Barry should be aware there may beagle implications. I’ll find out more the snoring. Send. Send now. Be quite Harlem I can do it. Send!
Another handsfree speech2text from KrystalCleer – up to 90% accuracy guaranteed
FROM: Joyce Walford
SUBJECT: Re: My Barry
DATE: 1 July 2018 at 08:50
TO: Sarah-Jane MacDonald
I’ve just received a very strange message from you
r email address, Sarah-Jane. Is it a virus or did you drop something on your keyboard?
Message exchange between Kevin MacDonald and Sarah-Jane MacDonald on 1 July 2018:
08:53 Kevin wrote:
I’m ill. Not flu. Something worse. Was Martin pleased about Colin’s £50k? Think he might want to do a news piece for the local.
09:05 Sarah-Jane wrote:
Thanks for not getting in until 7 a.m. This is all I need this morning. Am in a queue of 4x4s trying to get into the car park. Harley jumped out and met the others at the clubhouse. The police have cordoned off a house that backs onto the green and are only letting us in one at a time.
09:07 Sarah-Jane wrote:
Didn’t tell Martin about Colin because of almighty punch-up in middle of yoga field. I didn’t see it, but Barry took offence to something Kel’s friend said to Joyce and confronted him. Martin was in the middle of it for some reason. Probably ambled over, made it worse and the next thing anyone knew, Barry floors this man. Blood everywhere.
09:09 Sarah-Jane wrote:
That’s not the worst. The man lost control of his bowels. According to Kel, who spoke to Mum, this is a normal reaction (you learn something new every day). Emma carried on with Sun Salutations, but the smell became critical. The Grange ran out of towels. Celia Halliday was sick because she has coprophobia, aka fear of faeces. The man was effing and blinding, about not going to hospital. Luckily Kel, Sam and that dopey girl managed to bundle him away. It was a disaster. Didn’t even raise much money. Plus, Harley now wants to ditch cricket and take up yoga. I’m next into the car park, thank God.
The Appeal Page 15
