Lizzy treasured the memory of her visit to Pemberley. She had been sitting in the garden, and with the sun warm upon her face, she had been thinking about the Hunsford letter. In it, Mr. Darcy had admitted that he had interfered in Jane and Charles’s relationship, but not for the reasons she had suspected. And if he had failed to properly judge the depth of her sister’s affection for Mr. Bingley, she had been completely blind to Wickham’s true character. If Mr. Darcy’s behavior had been less than exemplary, there was certainly enough criticism to go around, as she had these preconceived notions about him, every one of which had proved to be wrong.
But on such a beautiful day, thinking unhappy thoughts was unpardonable, and so she had set them aside. While waiting for her aunt and uncle to come down the garden path, she had been thinking of what it would be like to be embraced and kissed by the handsome owner of this beautiful estate, when she sensed that someone was nearby. Upon opening her eyes, she found Mr. Darcy standing not more than twenty feet from her, holding his jacket and with his shirt opened, and she had been both embarrassed and…
“Oh my God! That’s what he meant by, ‘I knew exactly what you were feeling, and it wasn’t anger, animosity, or dislike; it was something quite different,’” She remembered the sensation that had spread throughout her body when she had seen his exposed chest and the heat she had felt that had nothing to do with the sun. And he knew it! She quickly scanned the letter to find her place. Were there other revelations to be found in its pages?
And because I knew what you were thinking, I felt comfortable in engaging you in conversation, and for the first time since I left Kent, I had hope. There was, of course, a major hurdle to be overcome, and after I saw your face when I revealed all, I again despaired. But on that first night of nightfall, when you came out onto the terrace, I saw a ray of light in a bleak landscape. And you know the rest.
Do I need to tell you how much I want you? How I suffer each night because I sleep alone? When I told you in the study that I wanted to taste and touch every inch of you, I was not speaking figuratively…
Lizzy felt her temperature rise, and she used the letter to fan herself and wondered what her wedding night would be like? On more than one occasion, Lizzy had overheard her mother’s conversations with Aunt Philips and the other hens from Meryton speaking of their own wedding nights. Although they were laughing when they shared their “pointed” comments and their “probing” questions, they still spoke of the discomfort and embarrassment they had experienced that first time.
Would she be embarrassed? She did not think so. William had talked about how Nature provides for its creatures. If stripped of the overlay of shame and guilt placed on making love by society, it could be a pleasurable experience for both men and women. But would it hurt? That was a different matter altogether. When he had lain on top of her in the study at Pemberley, his manhood seemed to be a third of the length of a broomstick, but again, he had explained that Nature prepared a woman to receive a man if the woman was receptive. Lizzy decided to stop thinking about it. She would know soon enough and continued reading.
At night, as I lie awake, I think of the words from Shakespeare’s forty-third sonnet:
All days are nights to see, till I see thee.
And night’s bright days when dreams do show thee me.
My darling, you have become the reason for my existence. Without you, there is no Fitzwilliam Darcy.
Yours always, Will
Lizzy let out a sigh, quite pleased with the contents of the letter, and as she tucked it under her pillow, she thought how few nights there were left when he would sleep alone.
Chapter 28
While Madame Delaine was measuring every inch of her person, Lizzy was imagining a shop where you could buy a ready-made dress. A tuck or two, a shortening of the hem, and a bit of added lace, and she would be done, but she dare not speak her thoughts aloud, as Madame had already mentioned her contempt for the inferior work of some of the other dressmakers, at least that was Lizzy’s translation of her heavily accented English.
Buying the shoes, boots, gloves, shawls, and chemises was a lot more fun, and she particularly enjoyed visiting the milliner’s shop, where she donned turbans with tassels and hats with ostrich plumes sprouting everywhere. But with Mr. Darcy’s satirical eye, she could just imagine his comments about such exotic head coverings. He had already voiced his opinion on the overly wide brims of her poke bonnets, saying that she wore them not to keep the sun off of her face but to keep his lips off of her mouth. How wrong he was about that.
Two days later, Aunt Gardiner and Lizzy returned to Madame Delaine’s boutique for Lizzy’s first fitting, and when she saw the emerging form of her dress within the fabric, she was very pleased, and so she suffered in silence as Madame pinned away.
When aunt and niece got out of the hackney at Gracechurch Street, they saw a carriage parked outside the Gardiner townhouse, and Lizzy immediately recognized it as belonging to Mr. Darcy.
“Ah, Miss Darcy has returned to town,” Lizzy said, smiling. She had developed a deep attachment for Georgiana as she was all that a sister should be, but when she went into the parlor, there sat not Miss Darcy but her brother. After an exchange of pleasantries, Mr. Darcy told Mrs. Gardiner that his sister was upstairs with her eldest daughter, and when she learned that Margaret was teaching Miss Darcy how to trim a bonnet, she said that she would check on their progress.
Knowing of Mr. Darcy’s ardor, she sat on the sofa across from him.
“I thought you were to go directly to Herefordshire,” Lizzy stated, somewhat concerned. She wanted nothing to interfere with his task of finding Nell a husband.
“Well, I had to come through London anyway, and so I decided to break my journey for a day or two. Are you complaining?”
“Of course not, but you will go to Herefordshire, will you not?”
“Elizabeth, I thought you would be happy to see me. Instead, it seems that you will be pleased to see me on my way. I have not pressed on in my journey because I missed you. Three weeks was too long. What was I thinking when I made those plans?” And then he became suspicious of her reasons for wanting him out of London, but in Herefordshire. “Is this about Nell?” Of course it was, and Darcy shook his head in disapproval. “Your silence speaks volumes. Once again, I will tell you that I have no interest in the lady. You have nothing to worry about.”
“I believe you, and I do not want to talk about Nell. How did things go with your aunt Catherine?”
“Better than I would have thought.”
“Really!” Lizzy said pleased. “I feared that it would not go well at all. So she approves of our marriage?”
“I would not put it that way.”
“Are you saying that although she does not approve of our marriage, she will not stand in our way?” Lizzy asked in an unsure voice.
“She did not say that either.”
“Well, what did she say? Is your good news that she did not throw a vase at you or hit you with her cane?”
“A vase was not immediately at hand, and her infirmities prevent her from wielding a cane in such a way as to cause injury.”
“Oh, now I see that your purpose in going into Kent was to hone your skills as a wit.”
“I have been so easily found out,” he responded, but when Lizzy started to twiddle her thumbs while waiting for an explanation for his optimism, Darcy explained Anne’s supposition that since her mother did not have the last word, it was a sign of her acquiescence.
“You bring me thin gruel, sir,” Lizzy answered, unimpressed, “but it is a better conclusion than what your cousin anticipated when he called on me.”
“Richard is in town?”
“No, not the colonel, but his brother, Lord Fitzwilliam. He paid a visit earlier in the week.”
“Good God! You did not say anything, did you? Because telling him anything i
s the same as releasing it for publication.”
“Of course not. That is an insulting statement, Will. Your welfare is my first concern.”
“I am sorry,” he quickly added. Knowing that she would never do anything that would endanger him, Elizabeth had a right to be insulted. “It is just that he has a way of wrapping people, especially women, around his little finger, and I can see from your expression that you were taken in by his charms.”
“I must confess I was amused by his wit, but it is the same as when troupes of acrobats and jugglers come into the village. They are very entertaining, but you would not want them to linger too long.”
Lizzy shared with Mr. Darcy the details of His Lordship’s visit, including his flirting with Mrs. Gardiner. When he offered to apologize for his cousin’s behavior, Lizzy assured him that her aunt had enjoyed every minute of it and had shared it with Mr. Gardiner. But Lizzy did want to know if Lady Eleanor really was the Queen of Darkness and if Lord Fitzwilliam was truly broke.
“I am sure Antony told you that Lady Eleanor drowns kittens in her moat or is guilty of performing other such monstrous acts, but it is just another example of a failed arranged marriage. Although she is not the Queen of Darkness, Eleanor is definitely one of the most unpleasant people I know. As to your second question, the earl is not broke. He is one of the very few of England’s elite who wins more at the gaming tables than he loses. Unlike most other members of his club, he knows when to leave the tables.”
“Then why does he not pay his bills? Apparently, his townhouse is freezing because he owes the coalman for past deliveries.”
“Because he has a liquidity problem. Winning at cards and collecting the money are two different things, but when Antony finally does get the money, he will pay Mr. Blackmun, the coalman, first. Once he is paid, word spreads quickly that the earl has money and that they can expect Gregg, his manservant, to come ’round and pay his debts.”
“What a terrible way to live.”
“It is terrible, but it is the way business is done in town. I hope you did not invite him to the wedding.”
“I did,” Lizzy answered, and when she saw Mr. Darcy’s look of displeasure, she quickly added, “How could I not invite him when we were sitting in the same room discussing our wedding? But he is not coming, which raises another question. One of the reasons he will not be attending is because Lady Granyard will not be there. Surely, he is not having an affair with her.”
“Not now, he isn’t. But he did have an affair with her when she was Lady Boyle. But do you see what has happened?” he said in an exasperated voice. “Instead of us talking about our wedding, we are talking about Antony. This happens every time. The only people who can upstage him are the royals, and not all of them either. But no more about Antony. Did you read my letter?”
“Yes, I did,” Lizzy said, and her whole demeanor changed. “You know, I should burn it. You should not write such things. The part about our wedding night was really improper.” But Lizzy could not keep the smile out of her voice.
“In two weeks’ time, I promise not to write anything of the sort. Words will be replaced by deeds.”
Lizzy’s physical response was immediate, as was Darcy’s, and he spanned the distance between them in two steps. After lifting her out of the chair, he kissed her as if they had been parted for months instead of one week. But Lizzy removed her arms from around his neck, and after sliding them down his chest, she gently pushed him away.
“You have such power over me. I cannot hide anything from you,” she said, her voice unsteady.
“Do not speak to me of power. You have brought me to my knees.”
“In that case…” Lizzy pulled his mouth toward her, and because she was a head shorter than he was, he lifted her off her feet and kissed her until his arms ached.
“I cannot stay away from you, Elizabeth Bennet, and so I will make short work of my business in Herefordshire, and as soon as I have done so, I shall go to Netherfield and remain there until we are man and wife. Actually, I have no choice. Georgiana speaks of nothing but Kitty and Mary and you, of course. Whenever you are ready to return to Hertfordshire, she will leave London with you, but she will stay at Netherfield with me.”
“That is probably best. With all the preparations for the wedding breakfast, there will be too much going on at Longbourn.” Or so she thought.
Chapter 29
With exactly one week to go before the wedding, Lizzy and Georgiana arrived at Netherfield Park, but when they came to the gated entrance, their driver had to yield as a slow-moving wagon moved in front of him. When Georgiana recognized the driver as Abel Metcalf, Lizzy knew that her wedding reception was not going to be held at Longbourn, but here at Netherfield.
“You should have written to me, Jane,” Lizzy said as soon as she was in the house. “I had no idea that the guest list had grown so long. Here you are an expectant mother doing everything, and I am doing nothing and I am the bride.”
“You need not concern yourself on my account,” Jane reassured her sister. “I have done very little. Mr. Jackson arrived two days ago, and he has met with our butler, Mr. Cleveland, and between the two, they have taken care of everything as well as seeing to the needs of all of the servants who have come from Pemberley to help. Mr. Jackson said that this is nothing to him, as he has been with the Darcys since he was a boy, and when Lady Anne was alive, the family was frequently on the move—visiting other families at their country houses, going to town for Christmas and the season, to Weymouth to sea bathe, and back to Pemberley. These pleasant memories brought a smile to his face.”
“You must be mistaken, Jane. Mr. Jackson never smiles. It is not in the butler’s handbook.”
From the day Lizzy had met him at Pemberley, Mr. Jackson had shown her nothing but kindness, and she had developed a deep affection for him because of how protective he was over his master. But she had never seen even a tiny crack in his somber facade. When Lizzy had mentioned this to Mr. Darcy, he answered by saying that he knew for a fact that Mr. Jackson was capable of smiling. “One time, Mercer caught him in the act, but he only performs this exercise when he is belowstairs, and only in the company of the senior servants, and then only once or twice a year as he does not want to overdo it, or so I am told, having never actually witnessed the phenomenon myself.”
“But why does he not smile abovestairs?” Lizzy had asked. “He must occasionally be amused by something he has seen or heard.”
“It is quite normal for senior servants not to smile as they bear heavy responsibilities. You cannot judge the servants here at Pemberley based on your relationship with Mr. and Mrs. Hill. Such familiarity would not work on such a large estate. When you think about it, Pemberley is as large as some villages, so Mr. Jackson must be very strict in order to keep his young staff in line.”
“Well, if Mr. Jackson actually did smile,” Lizzy told Jane, “I am sorry to have missed it, as it happens as frequently as the appearance of Mr. Halley’s comet.”
Lizzy shared with her sister all that she had done in London. “Madame Delaine is an accomplished dressmaker, and while her nimble fingers performed miracles on my wedding dress, Aunt Gardiner and I went from shop to shop, having the best time, all at Mr. Darcy’s expense.”
“By the way, where is Mr. Darcy?” Jane asked, looking around. “Is he with Charles?”
“He is not here. He had some business that required his attention, but he will be here in a day or two.”
Jane was not pleased to hear that Mr. Darcy was once again absent. She had grown used to Charles’s boundless energy and his need for movement, but it was nothing compared to Mr. Darcy’s meanderings. At least her husband remained in the county, but that was not the case with Mr. Darcy. He was always coming and going, but only God knew where he went.
“Lizzy, I do so hope he will not be running about the country once you are married. Your court
ship was unorthodox by anyone’s standards, except, perhaps, for those men who travel the roads to sell their wares.”
“Please do not worry, Jane. You must understand that Mr. Darcy’s wealth is not derived exclusively from his properties and that he has investments in other companies and manufactories. Up to this point, he has been personally involved in their management, but he will not do so once we are married.” All of this was true. It just did not have anything to do with what was happening in Herefordshire.
“I am very glad to hear it, and I shall hold him to it as a husband should be by his wife’s side. Now, as to the preparations for your wedding, Mr. Darcy’s cook arrived with Mr. Jackson. Prior to her coming, she sent such detailed instructions to poor Mrs. Blanchard that she was quite overwhelmed, but Mrs. Bradshaw assumed command and went into Meryton to talk to the butcher and the greengrocer and everyone else who will be providing whatever is needed. I have been warned that she is very demanding and brooks no interference in her kitchen.”
“Then we shall not interfere,” Lizzy said. “Besides, Georgiana is now here, and she knows how to get around Mrs. Bradshaw,” or so Lizzy hoped. “She is speaking with her right now, so I shall join her, as I feel that I should do something since it is my wedding.”
But it was not to be. As predicted, Mrs. Bradshaw politely told Lizzy that she was the bride and needed to tend to her own role and to leave her to do her work. This was said in a tone of voice that left no doubt that Lizzy had been dismissed, but it was a good thing that she had been shunted aside, as Mr. Darcy came to Longbourn the next day.
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