The tears came back without any warning, fast and strong. There was no ducking them this time. “My pleasure, Kate.”
Barely able to see, Fiona reached for the girl and hugged her tight. A lifetime of hugs to be given in one short moment. Then she stepped back, trying for a smile.
Kate gave her a short little wave, and left.
Then Alex was there at Fiona’s side. Putting his arms around her, he held her close and murmured sweet things into her ears. Warm kisses mingled with the tears flowing down her cheeks. His lips brushed her forehead. Somewhere his heart was telling her she could do it, that she was strong enough. That everything would be great.
She wanted to believe him and would. They pulled apart slowly.
“Are you okay?” Alex asked. He appeared to be breathing as hard as she was.
“Yeah.” Fiona pushed gently and his arms fell away. “Enough of this weepiness. I have to pack and get back home.”
He ran his hand over the back of his head. “I need to talk to you about that.”
“That’s okay,” Fiona said. “You don’t have to give me a ride back. The South Shore train runs between here and South Bend. And I can get someone to pick me up when I get in.” She smiled and brushed his cheek. “That’s the advantage of a big family. There’s always someone around to help when you need it.”
“The Andrewses would like you to stay here until Kate is transplanted.”
“What?” She was sure she misunderstood. “I can’t do that. I’ve got nothing to do here. And besides, school starts next week.”
“They’ve already talked to your principal about your taking time off.”
“They what?” She was angry. Scared. Stunned. She felt like a puppet with some invisible hand pulling her strings. “They had no right to do that.”
“No, they didn’t,” Alex agreed. His voice was calm and took the edge off her. “But they’re very worried about Kate. You have to remember that once she’s put on chemotherapy, she’s really vulnerable. If anything should happen to you, she’s sunk. They’d have to find another donor, and fast.”
Fiona sighed. She could see his point, but still she felt like she was being shoved around. Couldn’t they have asked her themselves?
“All right, I see their fears,” she said. “But I have a responsibility to my students, too. If I stay here, I’m leaving them in the lurch.”
“How many days would you actually miss?” he asked. “Three or four?”
“Probably.”
“Couldn’t you work with your substitute to make sure the kids were doing what you wanted?”
“Yes.” She knew she was being silly; her kids could do just fine without her for a few days. “I could even request the substitute I want,” she admitted.
“But you feel like you should be in class.”
“That’s a big part of it,” she said. “But it’s also something to do. I’d go crazy here for another ten days. I need to be busy.”
“There are a lot of things we can do to keep you occupied.”
“We?”
Alex seemed to be having a hard time meeting her gaze. “Let’s go grab a late lunch,” he said. “You really should think about this.”
Chapter Five
“Wow!”
Alex dropped their bags just inside the apartment and grinned at Fiona as she checked out the parquet floor, the original artwork and sculptures. She looked like a little girl on her first trip to Walt Disney World.
“This is just the foyer,” he said. “Save some excitement for the rest of the apartment.”
“Too late,” she said. “I’ve already demonstrated the range of my vocabulary.”
“That’s too bad.” He took her by the arm and led her into the living room. “Look at this.”
“Oh, Alex. It’s breathtaking.”
They were up on the twenty-first floor; and the east wall, the one facing the lake, was nothing but glass. Standing on the edge of the living room, back by the foyer, they saw an enormous expanse of sky and lake.
“Come on.” He led her to the windows but she hung back as they neared the window wall. “Nervous?”
“Kind of,” she replied. “I never had a yen to fly.”
Alex had lived in Chicago for most of his life and had become blasé about the city. Hanging around Fiona was like taking a kid to the circus. He was seeing the city in a totally new light—a bright, multicolored light.
“Over to our right is Navy Pier and Olive Park,” he said.
“Everything looks so small from up here.”
She folded her arms across her chest and looked out at the scene stretching out before them. Alex slipped an arm around her shoulder, letting her lean up against him as she drank in the beauty of the city. This might work out best for her, after all. Hell, all she would have done in South Bend was worry about Kate. At least here, there were all sorts of new things to do. Plus, she wouldn’t have to pretend with him.
“I wish Kate could be here instead of me,” she said.
“Feeling guilty?” He could feel her shoulder shrug beneath his hand and a sliver of fire shot through him. It was like playing with dynamite, being here like this with her. But it was something he’d have to deal with. Fiona’s welfare was what mattered now.
“I guess. She’s the one who’s sick and all she has is a little hospital room.”
“It’s not your fault,” Alex said. He fought back the urge to take her totally in his arms. “It’s not anybody’s fault. It’s just something that happened.”
“And she’s going to be in isolation for almost two weeks.”
“You’re doing everything you can for her,” he murmured.
Fiona slipped out of his arms, leaving him with longing tinged with relief, and went toward the small kitchen. He followed her to the doorway. With its space-saving narrow range and a sink about the size of a bucket, it seemed to be designed more for storing drinks and ice cubes than for cooking.
“She’s really a feisty little kid,” Fiona said as she poked around in the small refrigerator.
“She’s more than feisty,” Alex said. “Otherwise she wouldn’t have made it as far as she has.”
Fiona nodded as she stepped past him and went back into the Irving/dining room. He caught a whiff of her perfume, like a feather slowly tickling his senses. It beckoned him to come hither, but he forced his feet to stay put.
“You’re right,” she said. “When you really look at things, life has been hard for her. But she still has a sense of humor and a good, ornery attitude. She must have a lot of strength.”
“You gave her a good set of genes.”
Fiona made a face. “Her parents have done a good job raising her.”
“You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear,” he said. “You have to have good material to work with.”
Instead of replying, Fiona walked back to the foyer and looked down the hall. Obviously she’d had enough of the discussion.
“You can have the bedroom to your right,” Alex said. “It’s the bigger of the two.”
Fiona looked around the living room and then frowned back down the hall again. “That’s on the same side as the living room, right?”
He nodded.
“And I presume it has just windows, no walls?”
“The windows are walls.”
“No, thanks.” She shook her head firmly. “You take it.”
“It’s the nicer one,” he said. “And it’s also bigger.”
“I don’t care. I can’t see myself getting any sleep in a room where I’d be worrying all night about falling out.”
“Out of bed?”
“Out of the building.” She snatched up her suitcase. “I’m choosing the door on the left.”
He wanted to point out to Fiona that she was perfectly safe here, that the windows didn’t even open, but the phone started ringing before he could get the words out. Hell, what difference did it make? Whatever the lady wanted, as long as she was comfortable. Besides, the windows
would give him something to state out on the long, sleepless nights that surely lay ahead.
“Yeah,” he snapped into the receiver.
“Mr. Rhinehart. Don Andrews here.” The voice sounded especially crisp.
“Everything’s fine here,” Alex said. “I think Fiona will be quite comfortable.”
“I expected that she would be. My reason for calling is to set some things right.”
Alex didn’t reply. Andrews had the tone of a man who was going to remind Alex who was paying the bills and what was expected of him.
“I understand that Miss Scott met Kate today.”
“Yeah, it was an accident. Kate had snuck out of her room and—”
“I don’t want that to happen again,” Andrews said.
“I don’t control the world,” Alex replied. “And I sure as hell can’t control your kid.”
“I want Miss Scott to stay away from Kate.”
“Fiona—” Alex stressed her name “—had nothing to do with it. She came into the lounge to meet me and Kate was there. It would have looked a hell of a lot stranger if she’d turned around and walked out.”
A silence filled the telephone line and Alex could almost see the man clenching his jaw. Rich, powerful men didn’t take well to back talk. Not that Alex cared.
“Look, Mr. Rhinehart.” The sudden softness in his employer’s voice threw him for a moment. “Kate has a big load to carry right now. She’s worried whether she’s going to come out of this, and how. She’s wondering if she’ll ever have a normal young woman’s life. I’d rather she didn’t have anything else thrown at her right now.”
Alex was all set to trade some angry words. But only an idiot could ignore the truth in Don Andrews’s words. “I understand all that,” Alex said. “But all Kate wanted was to meet her donor. She asked Fiona why she was doing it and said thank-you to her. That was all.”
“What did she say?” Mr. Andrews’s voice was hoarse. There was no mistaking his fear. “Miss Scott, I mean.”
“Nothing you have to worry about,” Alex replied. “Nothing to make Kate suspect Fiona’s her biological mother.”
“Kate knows she’s adopted,” the man said. “We’re not trying to hide it. We just want to concentrate on getting her well.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Fairy tales divided the world into good guys and bad guys. Unfortunately, the real world was a lot more complex than that. There were no easy dragons for Alex to slay. He was hanging up just as Fiona walked into the room.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
“Naw.” He shook his head but she was still looking at him. He had to come up with something. “It’s one of my customers. He’s bothered that I had to push his project back a few days.”
“I really don’t need you to watch over me all the time,” she said.
He forced a grin onto his face. “That’s what I’m being paid for.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Hey, it’s a dirty job but somebody has to do it.”
The laughter in her eyes was like kindling to his already smoldering fire. One step closer, one gentle touch, and he’d go up in flames. Luckily, she stayed her distance.
“I’m hungry,” Fiona said. “How about you?”
Alex looked at his watch and was surprised to see that it was almost seven o’clock. They’d had themselves a full day between all the meetings, discussions, and finally moving over here.
“Yeah, I guess. Where do you want to go?”
She made a face. “Do we have to go out? I’d really love to just stay in.”
Stay in? Be cooped up here together all evening? Yet he could see the weariness in her eyes and gave in. “I could run out and get us a pizza,” he offered.
“That would be wonderful,” she said. “And I saw they have a little grocery downstairs. While you’re getting dinner, I’ll run down and pick up some odds and ends.”
“You don’t have to,” he said. “I could stop there on my way back.”
“And let the pizza get cold?” she said with a laugh. “No way. We’ll both pitch in and then we’ll both be able to relax tonight.”
He wasn’t too certain about that.
Fiona turned over, pounding the pillow into submission, but it didn’t help. Sleep was about a million miles away. It was too quiet here. She missed her cats snuggling up to her legs.
She should never have agreed to stay here in town. It was crazy.
Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Kate. And thought up ten years of questions that she should have asked her. Where had her mind been? She’d been so stupid and tongue-tied.
But then when she opened her eyes, all she knew was that Alex was across the hall in that big room with windows that looked out over the whole world. Ten days with him in this suddenly tiny apartment. Ten days of leaning on him and confiding in him and generally trying to stay out of his arms.’
She should have gone home. It would have been so much easier. No distractions, no temptations. No ventures into a world where she wasn’t sure what was real and what were her dreams.
She turned over, facing the clock and daring it to flash the passing time in her eyes. It did. Over and over and over until she turned to lie on her back. The ceiling held long streaks of shadows racing from the window into the darkness.
It would be all right if Alex wasn’t here. She could handle Kate’s illness the way she’d handled Mom and Dad’s accident, the foster homes and giving Kate up. By burying everything deep inside and not letting anyone see her fears.
But Alex had. And when he had, he’d been there with his all-too-ready arms to hold her.
And weakling that she was, she’d fallen into them.
She couldn’t be strong with him here; not with him reading her every thought, her every fear. And that wasn’t good. She had to be strong; she had to stand alone. It was the only way she knew.
But how did she do that?
She had to ignore Alex’s strength. She had to pretend he offered nothing to her heart. She had to keep her silly mind from weaving him into her dreams.
All she had to do was put her mind to it.
Fiona set the plates down on the table, one in front of Alex and the other at her place. Then she sat down, tucking her bare feet under her chair as she nibbled at her bagel. She felt really stupid. Her brain must be atrophied from lack of sleep.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“What for?” The words were reasonable enough but Alex’s tone was saying, Now what?
“We never got dressed up for breakfast at our house,” Fiona said.
She was wearing a robe over her nightgown and no slippers, since she’d forgotten to pack them. Alex, on the other hand, was already dressed in his usual knit shirt and slacks with soft brown loafers.
“At home, I wouldn’t even wear a robe,” she went on. Of course not. At home, there was just Elvis and Prissy. What a stupid remark!
“I don’t wear a robe, either,” he said. “At home or anywhere.”
“You don’t?” That was just like him, trying to make her feel better.
“No, I don’t own one.”
“You just go around in your pajamas, then.”
“I don’t own any pajamas, either.”
So much for trying to make her feel better. Her cheeks flamed and she grabbed up her bagel, taking a huge bite of it. Maybe if she kept her mouth full, she wouldn’t talk so much. She was wandering into dangerous territory, territory a mother would tell her daughter not to venture into if she wanted to stay out of trouble. What had happened to that little talk she’d had with herself last night?
Well, Fiona certainly didn’t want to find herself in trouble, but there was a knot in the pit of her stomach that didn’t seem able to loosen. And it was as if that knot of nerves was somehow attached to her tongue. It wasn’t a helpful attachment.
“It’s a free country,” he said. “You can wear whatever you want to breakfast. Especially since we’re eating in.”
A picture of Alex’s apartment came to mind, the refrigerator and cabinets pretty much bare. This was a man who always ate out. She’d blown it again.
“You said you didn’t mind.”
“Didn’t mind what?” He put his bagel back on his plate with a definite thud. “Don’t mind you wearing a robe? Don’t mind eating here in the apartment? None of these things matter. I really and truly do not mind any of these presumed inconveniences.”
“Well, I didn’t know,” she said. It wasn’t like she was used to having breakfast with strange men. “Would you rather have eaten out?”
His eyes flashed his exasperation. “I can take eating in, light margarine instead of cream cheese and even instant coffee instead of regular. But I cannot take sixty-seven questions before I’ve had a single bite to eat.”
Her toes curled up under her just like she wanted to curl up and hide. She’d pushed and bugged and generally made a pest of herself until he was good and annoyed. All because she was just a touch nervous being here with him.
“I’m sorry,” she said once again.
Alex just looked at her and then, with a deep sigh, sat back in his chair. “You don’t have to apologize for everything,” he said.
“I didn’t mean to annoy you.”
“Why don’t you get annoyed back?” he asked. “Tell me to stuff it.”
She just shook her head. “I couldn’t do that. Not when you’re being so nice.”
“You worry far too much about other people being happy or comfortable or whatever. You should think more about what you want.”
“I’m happy when other people are happy,” she said.
“You should be happy when you’re happy. Forget about everybody else.”
“That’s not me.” For too many years, she’d worried about keeping people happy, thinking about them before herself. She couldn’t just turn it off like a light that wasn’t needed anymore.
Alex picked up his bagel, taking a healthy bite out of it. He didn’t look like he was sighing in ecstasy and she couldn’t help herself.
“Bagels are healthier,” she told him. “Than eggs and bacon and sausage, I mean.”
He grunted around his mouthful of food and she had to explain further.
On Mother's Day (Great Expectations #1) Page 9
