“Yeah.”
But his eyes wouldn’t release her. Or else it was her feet— they wouldn’t move. As if they were bogged down in some invisible mire.
“I need to get some rest,” she said, although why, she didn’t know.
“True. And it’s late.”
“Way past my bedtime.”
But even as her treacherous feet finally managed to free themselves from the mire, they forgot which way to take her. She took a step forward and found herself in Alex’s arms. Maybe her feet knew better where she belonged, after all.
Alex’s lips came down on hers so softly that it might only have been in her dreams. She felt almost no pressure at first, then the fire that had been in his eyes started to smolder in her heart. It flickered and danced deep inside her, igniting all her secret fears and hesitations and worries. Suddenly her hopes and dreams and hungers were growing wildly, filling up every crevice of her heart.
The pressure of his lips increased, entreating her soul and calling for an answer from deep inside. She didn’t know with her head what his lips were saying, but the hungers inside her grew, entwining around her natural caution until it was lulled to sleep.
Alex pulled back slightly, his breath coming fast and hard, his eyes dark with the ravages of their hungers. “I’m not sure this is wise,” he said.
But she was lonesome away from his lips, and cold as if winter winds were whipping through her heart. “Why not?”
“Because it’s almost all over,” he said. “Tomorrow’s the transplant. You’ll be going home the day after.”
“It seems a good way to say goodbye,” she whispered and let her fingers brush his cheek.
He let her hand roam for a moment, then took hold of it, pressing his lips into her palm. “A cup of coffee and a game of rummy would be safer.”
But she was tired of “safe,” tired of watching life from the sidelines and then regretting her lack of daring. “I want to feel alive,” she said. “Just for tonight. Just for this once.”
“Oh, Fiona,” he said on a sigh and pulled her back into his arms as if he no longer had the strength to keep her away.
His lips took hers again, all pretense gone. His hunger spoke to her. It raged and stormed and attacked her sensibilities. She loved it—loved the sense of power his desire gave her; loved the exploding need that he awoke in her.
Her hands roamed over his back, pulling him closer while hungering themselves to feel more of him, to touch his skin and feel his muscles tremble and quiver. He would be strong and his skin would taste slightly salty even as the heat of it would threaten to scorch her.
“Why do I feel like we’re playing with fire?” Alex breathed into the night.
“Fire’s only dangerous if you don’t know how to handle it.”
“And you do?”
“We do.”
She led him down to his room. Through the wall of windows the city lay before them, its lights like a handful of gems scattered on the night. It lent magic to the air. She turned to him in the enchanted light, and began to unbutton his shirt. His hands stopped her, holding her hands still.
“Are you doing this because of your visit to Kate?” he asked.
She tried to see into his eyes. “What does that have to do with this?”
“I don’t want you out of gratitude,” he said.
“I don’t think that’s what this is,” she said slowly. “I’m grateful, certainly, but this is something else. It’s something that’s been building since that first day.”
“We don’t have to give in to it.”
She leaned forward, laying her head against his chest and willing his arms to come around her. They did.
“It’s like I’m living in a whole different world here,” she said softly. “Everything here is bigger and deeper and better than at home. The monsters that come out from under my bed at night are twice as big. The hopes I have for Kate are twice as huge as anything I’ve ever hoped for and the moments of happiness have been twice as sweet.”
She closed her eyes and reveled in the nearness of him, in the riot of sensations dancing across her heart. “Right here, right now, this feels right. I don’t want to think beyond that.”
His hands were on her back, moving with infinite slowness. “I don’t know how you can think,” he said, his voice hoarse, but with a touch of teasing in it. “I think I gave it up about two seconds after I closed the door.”
“Then why are we wasting time talking?”
His lips came back to hers and the world rocked and shook. It was as if they’d both taken the reins off their rigid control and it exploded out of the gate.
Under the pressure of his mouth, she let her lips open slightly. His tongue slid inside to explore, to dance, to tease her senses into a hunger that she’d never known before. She pressed closer to him, wanting their bodies as near as possible. But as near as possible wasn’t near enough.
When his mouth left hers to blaze a trail down the side of her neck, she let her hands fumble with the buttons of his shirt. One undone. Another and another until her hands could creep inside and find his heated skin. Laying her hand flat, she could feel the racing of his heart and smiled, knowing hers was beating in unison.
“This is insane,” he murmured into her hair. “This is crazy.”
“I know.” But for once insanity seemed to fit her, craziness seemed to match her soul. “Hell of a way to say goodbye.”
But nothing about their relationship had been ordinary, so why should the ending of it be? And what if it wasn’t to end?
That would be a story left for another day, she decided. She wasn’t thinking of tomorrow or next week or next month. It was now that called her name and held her hostage.
His hands had slid under her blouse; his touch was electric, sending shivers through every inch of her. She gasped with pleasure, her heart seeming to falter as her breath did for just a moment. Then he was loosening her blouse and freeing her from the confines of her bra.
Somehow, in an embrace that spoke of bindings of the heart, they made their way to the bed and lay together. Soft light spilled in through the windows, bathing them with enchantment. Ever so gently, Alex reached over to caress her breasts, lightly touching the tips but somehow sending un- speakable waves of desire through her.
He leaned closer, taking first one tip in his mouth, then the other. His lips tugged at them. He teased them with his tongue. Just his very breath on them sent tremors into her world to demolish the last of her sanity.
She pushed his shirt off his shoulders, then unbuckled his belt. With his help, she slid his pants off and let her hands slip gently over the length of him. Her hands teased the trail of hair that ran down the center of his chest, then she let her lips follow their lead. As she slid ever lower, he moaned in pleasure. Then, with a boldness unknown to her, she took him in her hands, rubbing the rigidity of him with her fingertips.
“Oh, my precious little Fiona,” he said on a sigh as he pushed her back against the pillows. “This isn’t playing with fire. It’s playing with dynamite.”
He tugged at her slacks until she slid them off, then her stockings so that she was lying naked in the dim light. She could almost see the fire in his eyes as his gaze swept over her, his hands exploring as if he couldn’t trust his sight.
“You are so beautiful,” he murmured.
And for once she felt so. She felt she was just right; that her body was in sweet harmony with his. When his hands wandered over her, teasing and tormenting her ragged hungers into insatiability, she had no desire to hide under the covers or to close the drapes. Who could see them up this high but the stars? And she felt she was already halfway there, anyway.
Alex’s hand moved lower, finding the core of her hungers, the key to her passion and desire. Under his caress, those hungers grew deeper and more voracious. Her body moved into him, needing a rhythm of love to ease the wild agony of her wanting.
“Now, Alex,” she moaned and opened herself to him.
She seemed to soar higher and higher, passing the stars as she found a light and a fire all her own. They were one and in some distant galaxy would always be so. The fire was close to exploding and she clung to him tightly, pulling him deeper into her heart. Then she was there; her world burst into flames and she knew only wild, unanswerable pleasure.
They held each other close, as if trying to hold on to the ecstasy, but it slipped from their grasp and let them glide slowly back to earth. But even that was magic as she lay in his arms and let sleep claim her.
How could this be a goodbye? she wondered, just before slumber claimed her. It felt so much like a beginning.
Chapter Eight
Fiona stepped out into the mild morning sunshine and took a deep breath. It was a beautiful day, just one in a line of beautiful days. But today was special. Today she was going to give her daughter health. A new life.
“You okay?” Alex asked.
She turned to smile at him. How dear he was. In just a few short weeks, she had found her very own champion, her very own guardian angel. She would never have gotten through this time without him.
“I am wonderful,” she said and took his hand as she looked around at the people bustling along. She no longer feared she was lost. “Let’s walk along the lakeshore. We have plenty of time.”
He frowned, his eyes showing all sorts of concern. “Are you sure you’ll be all right?”
“Walking along the lake won’t be much longer than walking on the street.”
“I wasn’t thinking of walking at all,” Alex replied. “I was going to get us a cab.”
Darling, sweet Alex. Fiona felt like hugging him, but just squeezed his arm instead. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m fine. Not eating or drinking since midnight isn’t that big a deal. Besides, you didn’t have anything for breakfast, either.”
“I don’t need breakfast.”
Oh, big macho man. He could skip breakfast but the fragile little woman couldn’t. Fiona just gave him a look. She was feeling too happy and hopeful to give him a hard time for being overly protective.
“The exercise will help settle my nerves,” she said and tugged him toward the corner. “And if I faint, I’ll let you carry me to the hospital.”
“I’ll hold you to it,” he said.
“And I might just let you.”
Something in the air around them changed. Memories of last night’s loving mingled with dreams for tomorrow. His hold on her arm tightened. His eyes seemed suddenly alight with desire, flashing something hot and fiery that made her soul come alive. She felt every inch of her sing with joy, and let a smile tell him just how special last night had been. It had been the perfect ending to the weeks of tension.
Hand in hand, they crossed Lake Shore Drive and stepped onto the walkway along the lake. It was so quiet, so peaceful here. It was the perfect place to put her thoughts back in order.
As perfect as last night had been, it really had been an ending. Their lives would go in opposite directions from this point on. She knew that this morning, even if her heart had wavered last night. But that would be a dream for a lovestruck little girl. Fiona was a woman and knew better than to waste her time wishing for something that wouldn’t ever be.
The scent of the water mixed with the crunch of the sand underfoot and brought reality back to surround her. The only good thing that had to come out of this time was Kate’s return to health. Fiona wasn’t going to be greedy and ask for more.
They crossed the street and walked up the steps to the main door of the hospital. Fiona thought of last night when Alex had brought her here and the joy he had given her. Joy in so many ways.
“Well, here we are,” he said. “Any second thoughts?”
“There’s no reason to have any,” she replied. “The procedure is pretty minor.”
“You’ll be put under.”
Fiona shrugged. “It won’t be the first time. I had a general anesthetic when they took my wisdom teeth out.”
“Then let’s do it.”
They walked into the hospital and followed the now familiar path to the rear bank of elevators. This time they both signed in, then stepped into the elevator for the ride to the seventh floor. She’d already been preadmitted, so all she had to do was check in at the nurses’ station before going to her room.
“I guess I’ll be staying overnight,” she said. Her voice echoed oddly in the elevator.
“That’s what they’d like,” he said. “Though you could leave tonight if you’re feeling all right.”
“Tomorrow’ll be fine.” She was handling all this well, she thought. “I can catch an early train out to South Bend and be home before lunch.”
“I can drive you home.”
“There’s no need. You’d have to get a car and everything.” The elevator doors opened and she hurried out. There was no reason to tie him up anymore. Although she did hope that he would visit her once or twice before she checked out tomorrow morning.
“We’re all set for you, Fiona,” the head nurse told Fiona even as she started down the hall. “Your room’s down here.”
Fiona glanced at Alex, not wanting their goodbyes to be said here in the hall by the elevator, but he appeared ready to follow the nurse with her. He took her hand and gave her an encouraging smile as they walked to her room, passing a cart of breakfast trays that was in the hall.
She wiggled her nose. “Don’t think I’m going to miss not eating that.”
“I’ll put in an order for a great lunch for you,” he said.
“With my luck, I’ll miss lunch by a few minutes and starve all afternoon.”
“I’ll smuggle you in a subway sandwich,” he offered.
“What if I want one of those six-foot-long ones?”
“I’ll find a way.”
Fiona stepped into the room the nurse had entered, then stopped in astonishment. Her sisters stood by the window.
“Surprise!” they called out.
“When did you get here?” Fiona asked as she hugged first Cassie, then Sam. “Why didn’t you call?”
“About thirty minutes ago.”
“We were going to call.”
“Yeah, I bet.”
“But we didn’t have time.”
“We had to get your cats settled and taken care of.”
“Are they all right?”
“Then there was Mr. Kaminsky.”
“And Mrs. Torcini.”
Suddenly, Fiona remembered Alex. She pulled him over to her side. “You may not remember but you met Cassie and Sam at my birthday party.”
“You still taking care of Fiona?” Sam asked.
“Poor guy,” Cassie added.
“It wasn’t so bad,” Alex said.
“Wasn’t so bad?” Fiona repeated.
“She didn’t make you eat healthy foods?” Sam asked.
“Well-”
“Or bring your jacket even if it wasn’t cold?” asked Cassie.
“Actually-”
“I hate when she does that,” Sam agreed.
“It’s even worse when she’s right and you need it.”
Alex’s gaze was going from one to the other, like he was watching a tennis match. Fiona didn’t much like the amused smile that was growing on his lips. It was time to take a stand. “So how long are you staying?” she asked her sisters.
“However long you are,” Samantha replied.
“We’re going to take you home,” Cassie said.
A little bubble of disappointment zipped through Fiona. Yeah, she’d already told Alex that she was taking the train home, but now there was no reason for him to insist on taking her.
“That’s great,” was all she said, though. “That saves me a ride on the old bump, rattle, and roll line.”
&nb
sp; “Where you guys staying?” Alex asked.
“We haven’t looked for a place yet,” Cassie said.
“You can stay at our apartment,” he said. “Fiona’ll stay in the hospital for the night and I have to get back to my own place.”
Our apartment? The sound of it sent a warming sense of belonging through her. For a time, she guessed it had been.
“You guys stayed together?” Cassie asked.
“In the same apartment?” Sam added.
Not having had a drink since late last night, Fiona’s mouth was already dry and sticky. Now it felt like someone had poured in a bucket of sand. “Well, you know…”
“Everyone wanted to make sure that Fiona was comfortable,” Alex said.
“And your job was to…” Cassie said, letting her voice trail off into the silence.
“Well, he-”
“Miss Scott?” A bearded man in a long hospital coat stepped into the room. “I’m Dr. Wenger, your anesthesiologist. I need to ask you a few questions, if I might.”
Saved by the needle sticker. “Hey.” Fiona turned toward the others. “I bet you guys haven’t had breakfast yet. Why don’t you go grab something? I’m going to be pretty busy for a while now.”
“You sure you don’t need us?” Samantha asked.
“We can stay,” Cassie said. “There’ll be plenty of time to eat later.”
“No, just go, already. I don’t want you guys keeling over and fainting.”
Her sisters started walking out, but Alex just stayed where he was. “I could stay and keep you company.”
She shook her head. “I’m fine, really. I’m fine.”
Slowly, very slowly, he walked out the door and left. Fiona strained until she couldn’t hear his footsteps out in the hall anymore. He was gone. Suddenly the doctor picked up her hand, causing her to pull back and wince.
“You’re not going to start crying now, are you?”
“Of course not,” she snapped, blinking back the wetness. She was used to being on her own. It was the way she liked it best.
Alex got off the elevator. It wasn’t even nine in the morning and he felt like he’d lived about two lifetimes today. This was one hell of a job. One of the easiest he’d had in ages, and for some reason, one of the hardest.
On Mother's Day (Great Expectations #1) Page 14
