by Lucian Bane
Her nails dug in my shoulders before she scratched her way down my abs and took hold of my cock. "Do it."
I let out a sharp groan when she swirled her fingers over the slit and wet the sensitive ridge. Grabbing the base of my erection, I pulled her close and slid the head on her ass, leaning in to brush my lips along her heaving stomach. So very carefully, I worked the head on that tight spot, not moving an inch until she showed me she was ready for more. I pushed a little when her moans smoothed out and she gave a sharp gasp.
“Sorry, fuck, this is stupid. No way not to hurt you.”
“I’m okay,” she whispered, breathless. “Try again.”
“Just move when you’re ready baby. You need to do this.”
She took my face in her hands and kissed me, licking my tongue with a boldness that made my dick throb. She gave sharp moans as she slowly lowered in tiny increments.
“I’m going to fucking die,” I growled. “Jesus, Tara.”
She finally began moving up and down barely.
“Play with your clit baby, fuck.”
“Okay, okay,” she cried, winded. “It’s okay. I’m getting used to it.” She followed that with a lusty moan and I leaned for her nipples, sucking and licking, sliding them along my lips before I nipped lightly.
She held my head and moved my mouth on her. “Oh God, this…feels fucking good.”
“Your clit is hot?” I nearly barked the words, losing restraint. “Fuck, I need to come now.”
She gasped and moved on my cock faster but careful. I gripped her waist tight but not ramming her sweet fucking ass was torture.
“Come in my ass baby,” she whispered.
Just those words, coming in her ass, that did it, that fucking so did it. I couldn’t keep from bucking my hips but she steered the depth, thank fuck. “Tara, fucking kiss me.”
She made the first experience complete with that kiss. She was such a good fucking kisser, I loved having her make love to my tongue with hers. Especially while I fucked her ass and she shuddered on me from her own climax. Perfection for me. Fucking. Perfection.
Chapter Seven
"Did you ask him?" Tara's leg swung over her knee at a speed that served to ratchet up my own twisted nerves.
"I'm not supposed to ask." I looked around at the nice neighborhood we drove through, trying to judge what my first assignment might be. If it was the same as Tara, we were going in reverse, which meant something in my recent past. The "lifestyle" made the possibilities horrifically endless.
Would it be one of the subs that I'd broken off with? Visions of a woman running and throwing her arms around me in ecstatic excitement of my surprise visit made me nauseous. Tara couldn't handle that.
"Well, whatever it is, you got this." She patted my hand in her lap. She sat next to me, which said she'd gotten over that last secret test. But the monstrous scenarios evolving in my mind between those texts and demon domination assignments, had my muscles taut with dread. Which Tara sensed and often misread as me not wanting to be affectionate with her. It was just hard when keeping my shit together required every muscle.
"Nice neighborhood." Tara smiled like that was a good sign.
It could be. Or not.
We finally pulled to a stop in front of a fairly recent replica of maybe an early 20th Century farmhouse. The white vinyl siding resembled wood clapboard and the deeply shaded front porch looked inviting with a pair of porch swings and a rocking chair.
Big flowerbeds had been put in across the front side of the porch, full of bright red blooms.
I couldn't think of anyone in my life who might live there. And that ramped up my anxiety. The tremor in my hands would be a dead giveaway for Tara if she noticed. Not very Dom-like to be trembling in fear at the idea of confronting someone from my past. And at that point, I didn't give a damn. I just didn't want Tara anywhere near the dirty fucking devils that crawled all over my life before I met her.
Steve got out and opened my door and climbed in the back and sat on the opposite seat. "I'm supposed to tell you the assignment when we get to the location." Sympathy creased his forehead as he pulled a paper out of his jacket. "Trust me, I wanted to tell you sooner. It must be very hard having to wonder over these things." He turned his agonized blue gaze to the task at hand and shook the folded paper open with a flick of his wrist.
Tara laced her fingers in mine and raised them up in silent victory.
God, I appreciated—no, cherished—the great act she was putting on. It clearly went against her grain, the whole public affectionate support gig. I just wished I could take a moment to show her what it really meant to me. But I was too busy with that whole keeping my shit together matter.
"Maddy Hall ring a bell, Lucian?"
The name was a massive kick to the gut. I struggled to breathe through the pain as the past came roaring through my head, ready to eat me alive. "Yes. Why?" I fought to keep my heart out of my stomach.
"This is her family's house. All it says is… make amends with them."
I looked at the house, my heart racing. Amends?
"Who is that sweetie?" Tara voice had that therapeutic lilt. The idea that she felt like she needed to turn professional on me made it all worse.
"She's…" I cleared my throat. "She was a sub. A long time ago." Tara's professional mask took hold, so I hurried to explain to repel it. "She left to be with this dude. I tried to prevent her, stop her. She was under my protection." I looked at Steve, the guilt and torment of that day flooding back. The worry of what Tara thought of it added an element to my emotions that left me feeling…fucking lost and unfocused. "What…what am I supposed to do? Say?"
Tara turned in her seat a little with a pleading look, patting my shoulder lightly. "Amends. What might that mean?"
"I don't know," I said, upset now. "I tried to talk her out of leaving, I did. Then she went missing. I tried to find her, we all did. For months." I raked my hand through my hair, pulling when my fingers wouldn't quit trembling.
"Okay, okay," Tara whispered. "Then…maybe they just want you to…explain…how…."
I gasped. "Fine. How fucking sorry I am? That should be easy." I opened the door, mostly needing more air to breathe.
"What else do you know about it?" Tara asked, coming to stand next to me. "Anything we…should know I mean? Other…details? About you and her? I mean, how close were you?"
I looked at her, fighting to see in the here and now and not in that past. "She was…we weren't…romantically involved. Or sexually." I tried to think of the terms Tara might use. "Just…like a brother. That's what I was to her."
Tara nodded then looked around. "A brother. Okay." She patted my arm. "That's good. So we'll just…go…in and make amends. Feel our way."
"They probably just want you to express your condolences," Steve added in a near secretive tone. "Closure."
My stomach jerked at that term. Closure. "She's not dead."
"Of course, of course." He nodded in understanding. "But…maybe to them…." he shrugged a little, his face crimped in empathy, "maybe it…feels that way."
I suddenly wanted to run. Never in a million years would I have ever guessed I'd be standing where I was right at that second. For that reason. Vague as it was. Anything related to Maddy was fucked up. So fucked up.
"Let's do it, baby. You got this." Tara grabbed my hand and laced her fingers in mine, again showing her support. But it only reminded me of the game we were playing. Fucking game. This wasn't a fucking game. Not this. They were out to shatter me into tiny little bits that could never be put back together.
I nodded. "Okay. I'm ready." Steve nodded his affirmative as well and I headed toward the house. The closer I got the harder I prayed. Please don't be home. Please don't be home.
I knocked on the door and in a matter of thirty seconds, my prayers were unanswered with the opening of the door. An elderly woman in maybe her seventies greeted us.
"Mrs. Hall?" I asked.
"Yes, she is." Th
e soft female voice came from somewhere just beyond the older woman. "Can we help you?" A darker-haired, younger version of Maddy stepped into view.
I took a deep breath. "I'm…I'm Lucian Bane. Would you happen to know a Maddy Hall?"
"Mee-maw, go in the living room. I'll handle this." She gently directed her from the door.
"Are you sure? I can put on some tea?"
"No, no. Go watch your program, it's about to come on. You don't want to miss anything."
The elderly woman's eyes brightened as she turned under the guidance of the girl. "Jeopardy. I've got my money on Phillip. He's a cracker jack, that one."
The girl opened the screen door. "Who are you? Maddy was my sister."
"I'm…I used to know your sister."
"How?"
"I….we were friends. I knew her just before she went missing."
She stared at me then looked over Steve and Tara. "I don't get why you're here. Are you a reporter?" Distrust flared in her eyes.
"No, no. I just…I wanted to say that…I'm sorry. I looked for months for her. Years even. And I know how hard it must be to not know what, I mean where—"
"She's not lost anymore, sir."
I looked at her, hope slamming me. "She's not?"
"They found her body finally. Mutilated remains, rather." The nonchalant words stabbed into my stomach as I stared at her.
"When?" I heard myself ask.
"Six months ago. We were finally able to bury her. It was confirmation for me, I always knew in my gut she was dead." She suddenly eyed me with suspicion. "She was living in filthy sin." Her gaze sliced to Steve. "It was to be expected." Her eyes snapped back toward me. "How did you say you knew her?"
Instincts collided inside me. Run, breathe, think, speak.
"He was a friend. Somebody that was looking out for her," Tara said.
She sniffed and eyed me with a some friend look.
I spun around and headed for the car, needing to get away.
"Wait, wait, wait," Tara whispered, suddenly appearing before me with hands braced against my knotted stomach. "Amends baby. Remember?"
"Amends?" I stared at her, hoping she realized how stupid she sounded. By her insistent nod, she didn't. "Amends?" I repeated louder, more incredulous, praying she'd fucking get me.
"It's not your fault, Lucian. You tried."
I spun away from her, fury taking hold of me. "Not my fault?" I turned back to Tara and pointed at her. "You don't fucking know that." I jabbed my finger in her face. "You. Don't. Fucking know."
She moved my hand aside. "I do know. I know you. You're an amazing man, you care about people, you did everything you could, you know you did. I know you did."
I stood there with my mouth open, needing to say five things at once. "I…I didn't protect her. That was my job."
"You can't make people listen Lucian. They have to make their own choices. She made hers."
I shook my head slowly, staring at her. "Don't say that." My voice trembled. "She didn't choose that. She… didn't fucking choose that." Tara blurred before me. "She chose to be loved. Protected. I…couldn't give her what she needed." I shook my head, my chest burning. "And so she left. With that…fucking monster. I knew he was bad. I told her. He was bad news, God, I begged her. But he…" I gasped. "He lied to her. She believed him."
Tara's face was hard. She pointed to the house. "Then you go tell them that. Tell that family what happened. They have a right to know."
I looked at the house and saw Steve had the girl smiling and blushing even. Tara pulled me to the house and I followed her, glad for the guidance, even if it was back to the dungeon. She was with me. On my side. I could do it.
"Ma'am? Can we come inside for a minute?" Tara kept her arm hooked in mine, maybe to hold me there. "Lucian has answers to some questions you may have about your sister."
The mousy looking girl eyed us and Steve put a hand on her arm and whispered something. Magic words judging by the way she opened the door and invited us in.
We followed her into a small kitchen straight out of 1950. I had to readjust my assessment that the place was a modern replica. From the inside, it looked like the real thing, right down to the enamel single bowl sink and hulking gas cookstove.
The house had obviously been lovingly cared for by its family and everything looked much the way it must have when they first moved in. Tara squeezed my arm, reminding me to quit trying to escape into the details around me. In that second, I hated her for it. I wanted nothing more than to fucking melt away.
The girl indicated we should sit at the small dining table. "Let me go make sure Mee-Maw is settled." She bustled away, reminding me of her sister. She'd had that same sense of purpose, making sure everyone around her was okay.
"Sure," Steve said with a warm smile.
A few seconds later, I heard the TV volume increase followed by the yelled words, "I'll be in the kitchen. If you need anything, just holler."
She returned and suddenly stood before us, looking at a loss for what to do next.
"Would you happen to have any coffee?"
The girl's green eyes cleared at Steve's soft question, and she spun to the cabinet. "I can make some. What we got is old. From early this morning. Mee-Maw wakes up with the chickens even though we don't have any anymore. I think they still live in her head from when we used to have the farm. Being in the same house probably makes it worse, but we don't have a choice. Pap left a whole lot of debt when he passed, and she sold the farm off in tracts to pay it. Nearly killed her, but at least she managed to hang on to the home place." She banged around in the cabinets until there was nothing left to do but stare at each other.
Which she did. At me. "You said you knew my sister. Had some…answers?"
Fuck.
"He does. Just ask him whatever you want to know and he'll answer it."
"I'm Susan." She took jerky steps to the table and pulled out a chair. She sat and kept her gaze averted. "I just want to know how she got caught up in that life of sin." She leveled her gaze on me. "And what part you played in that?"
The need to find blame burned in her words. But it was something I could deal with. Understood. And maybe help with. "I was a Dom in the lifestyle when I met her." Assuming she wouldn't know what that meant, I explained, "That's somebody who …" I was suddenly at a loss. What the fuck was a Dom? "It's somebody that…." I shook my head when I could only draw a blank. "I was a friend to your sister."
"What kind of friend? The fucking kind?" Disgust hardened her jaw.
"No, not that kind."
"So you never fucked her?"
"I…" Shame flooded me as I tried to find the words. "I did. And then…then I couldn't. I stopped."
"You used her?"
"No," I gasped at the pain behind her anger. "I didn't use her. When I saw that…that she wanted more than I could give her, I…"
"You threw her aside." She angled her head, staring at me and I suddenly felt the weight of my sins, pressing on me.
"I didn't want to, I just… I was young and stupid. I didn't know what else to do, but I couldn't…just have sex with her when I knew she wanted more."
She stared at me, her jaw hard, lips a line while she nodded and silently connected the ugly dots in her mind. She sniffed with a sneer and turned to the others. "Mee-Maw and me told her when she left for Hollywood what was gonna happen." She shrugged a shoulder. "Didn't listen. As usual."
She looked down and the tremble in her hands was the first glimpse of her true feelings about her sister. "Over and over I told her. 'Maddy, it ain't like TV,' she'd watch those… devil oprahs and dream she would find a man and fall in love." She pffed again. "Now look at you Maddy. Chopped up into pieces in a box, six feet in the ground. Is that what you wanted?" She looked at Tara. "Course it wasn't." She nailed me with her gaze. "That what you wanted for her mister?"
"No." I shook my head, fighting for air. "I tried to be a friend. Get her a job. Talk her into going back to school. She was a f
abulous singer—"
"But that wasn't good enough for you?" She suddenly stood. "What was she lacking mister?" She pointed at me. "She wasn't lacking nothing! It was you wasn't it? You was the one lacking a heart. Too much trouble to love her so you done forced her on the street looking elsewhere." She was pacing now, nodding, holding her stomach. "I had a feelin', I had a feelin', I knew it. I knew she was in trouble. Couldn't do nothin' though. Nothin'."
I stood, needing to make her see. "I cared about your sister."
She spun and screamed. "Shut up! Shut up!" She pointed at me, her whole body shaking now. "You coulda loved her! She was a good girl!"
"Oh God," I gasped. "She was, she was, I'm so fucking sorry, I wanted to love her, I…"
"She wasn't pretty enough?"
"She was beautiful, it wasn't—"
"Maybe she wasn't smart enough, maybe that was it? She wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box," she said to Steve like they were having a normal conversation. Then she jerked back to me. "But she was…" her voice shook with her body now. "She was… she was special."
"I fucking know," I whispered.
Her eyes widened like I'd spoken blasphemy. "Don't say you know!" She stormed up to me and banged on my chest with a balled up fist. "You didn't know her! She was dumb! Thinking she could make a difference in the world. Gonna be a movie star she'd say. Gonna make a lot of money, she'd say. To feed the hungry, she'd say. She was dumb!" she screamed, banging my chest again. "A dumb stupid girl!"
I shook my head. "I'm so sorry. I tried to talk her out of leaving. I tried to protect her."
"You are a tool of the devil!" She banged on my chest with both fists now. "That's why you couldn't love her! You can't love an angel! You're a monster! Like the man who cut her up!"
Her fists flew and I couldn't bring myself to block her. She hit me in the face and Tara grabbed her from behind and held her arms.
"You're okay, she's in Heaven now, nobody can hurt her."
Steve rushed in to help. "The Lord has received her into the fold, she is never going to want or hurt again," he whispered, petting her head and holding it to his chest.
