"Sure, that would be great, thanks. I'm having fun. More fun than I've had in a while and I'm not ready for the night to end."
"Well, I'm your guy. I'm not ready for it to end either," Logan says as he stands, tugging her by the hand he still has in his grasp. "Come on. I'll take you home."
FOLLOWING CLOSELY BEHIND LOGAN, Avery hopes to catch another hint of his masculine scent. A heady mix of cologne, pine, and something else that is uniquely his own.
They exchange out their shoes and pay for their games, Logan picking up the tab for her and Nikki too, even after a bit of failed protesting.
Taking hold of her hand once again, Logan escorts her to his car. Avery slides past him where he stands holding the door, obviously offering her the chance to brush against him. It takes all her strength to avoid doing so. Avery takes a moment after he closes the door to pull herself together. She needs to remain unaffected; being close to him makes her want things she shouldn't, because she is far too familiar with the outcome - it's the same every time. Friendship; that's all Avery can offer, for his sake.
Logan enters the car and turns on his phone so that an Avenged Sevenfold song blasts through the speakers. A bit unexpected, but it instantly thrills her that they have a similar interest in music.
"I love this band!" Avery shouts exuberantly.
"Really? I've seen them live twice. Great show."
"I am so jealous," she says dreamily.
Avery looks over at Logan as he pulls out of the parking lot, heading towards her apartment.
"I had a really fun time tonight. I haven't laughed so much in…. well, ever."
"I had a great time, too. We need to get together like this more often," he says before glancing in her direction and seeing the shock on her face.
She can feel her eyebrows reaching towards her hairline and her jaw continuing to drop.
"By together," he adds, "I meant as friends, and as a group, if you want."
Logan turns back to the road, obviously nervous that he has overstepped their friendly boundary.
"It's ok, Logan. I know what you meant. I'm just not used to having friends to hang out with, that's all. You took me by surprise."
"Well don't be surprised, you're a lot of fun. And I guess if Nikki and Austin don't make things awkward, we'll be seeing more of each other."
“I didn’t get to speak to him much, but what does Austin do?”
“He’s in construction. Does pretty well for himself, especially since we’ve had the recent population boom.”
Huh, construction? I’ll have to keep that in mind.
The apartment complex comes into view and Avery feels dismay at the thought of their night ending. She feels a strong connection to Logan, like they are kindred spirits.
Wanting to continue conversing with him, Avery decides to take a leap.
He knows we're just friends. He knows I have boundaries.
"Would you like to come up? I can make us something to snack on and we can watch a movie or play a game, or whatever," she says nervously, wringing her hands in her lap. "Never mind,” she whispers, shaking her head, “I was just being dumb."
"Avery," he says in a low voice, placing his hand on top of her own. "Avery," he says again, this time more forceful, garnering her attention. "I'd love to join you. I'm having a good time, too."
And then he smiles. Even in the dark, Avery can make out his perfect, pearly white teeth. His smile disarms her. She would do just about anything to see that smirk every day.
They walk upstairs to the third floor apartment and she can't help but rub her hand against her chest, right where her heart used to beat. A sudden pain shoots from the spot she’s rubbing, down through her extremities - the pain so sharp and severe that it steals her breath. Logan glances back when he notices her movements have stopped and asks if she’s ok. Assuring him that she’s fine, they continue to walk up the stairs. The moment he grasps her hand in his own again, the pain evaporates - it completely fades into oblivion.
The landing falls beneath their feet and Avery searches through her bag for the key Nikki handed to her at the bowling alley. Finding the molded piece of metal, she tries to insert it into the lock.
Why is my hand shaking?
After a few fumbling attempts, she finally unlocks the door and leads Logan into the apartment.
"Do you…" she begins with a high-pitched shriek. Avery coughs lightly to clear her throat and attempt again, "Do you want something to drink?"
"Sure, water would be great. Thanks," he says, peering around the apartment.
The apartment looks vastly different from the way it did when he was here last. Avery has clearly spent some time rearranging the furniture and cleaning. He notices a few pictures dangling upon the wall: mostly Aria's drawings.
"These are amazing," he points out; captivated by the small collage Avery designed for Aria's creations.
"Thanks. My, um...” She clears her throat, “My sister drew them. She was really talented."
"Was?" he asks, looking at her with sympathy swimming in his eyes.
Not ready to talk about it, Avery simply nods her head and changes the subject quickly by asking if he wants to play one of the old-school board games she brought with her. They decide on a game of Guess Who and play a few rounds before switching to a game of Uno.
"You should know that I'm extremely competitive."
"That's alright, Logan. You may be competitive, but you'll still lose," Avery chuckles.
"Want to make a wager on that?"
Cheekily she replies, "Maybe," as a blush creeps up her neck.
"Ok, how about whoever loses has to do whatever the winner wants all day tomorrow."
Looking into his eyes, Avery can see the desire swarming behind them, ready to burst free. The spot beneath her breast begins to thunder again and she instantly places her hand against her chest.
He continues to stare at her before raising his hand for a shake, "Deal?"
Avery looks at his outstretched hand and then returns his gaze.
"Absolutely," she says, shaking his hand and trying to hide a shiver that races down her spine when their hands connect.
After playing the best two out of three, Avery wins. Logan was angry that she hoarded her "collect" and "skip-a-turn" cards, but she merely insisted that she never claimed she wouldn't play dirty.
Turning her attention to the clock on the wall and realizing that it's still fairly early, they decide to make some popcorn and settle in to watch television.
When Avery returns from the kitchen, she notices two things instantly. First, Logan has tattoos on his biceps that just show past the arm of his shirt. Second, his interest is set on the angel picture of Aria's that she had found when she moved.
She coughs quietly to alert him of her presence and he follows her to the couch.
"I haven't seen anything like that drawing before. The perspective is incredible."
"Mmhmm," she murmurs in agreement.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Nope,” she says, throwing a handful of their snack into her mouth, “Popcorn?" she asks, holding out the bowl.
"You know if we're going to be real friends, Avery, you'll probably need to tell me more about you."
A heartbeat, and then,
"Ok, but not now," Avery whispers, ashamed of her inability to open up.
Bringing her legs up onto the couch under her hips, she fiddles with the hem of her pants nervously.
Logan takes a handful of popcorn and shoves it into his mouth before grabbing the remote and flicking through the channels before landing on a showing of the movie Scream.
Even the way he shovels food into his mouth is sexy, she thinks before she can stop herself. Sexy? Where did that come from?
They sit in companionable silence as the film rolls, but the tension continues to grow in the room. Whether that tension is awkward or sexual, Avery can't pinpoint because she’s feeling both.
"You know," Logan says
as he maintains his attention on the television, "I grew up poor. Dirt poor. And my dad used to beat me so bad I would need to skip school so that the teachers wouldn't notice the bruising."
Avery jerks her head in his direction at his sudden and unanticipated confession: a confession he gives so nonchalantly.
"My mom left us when I was a kid. Then my high school girlfriend left me when my dad caught us going at it, though I already lacked most respect for women at that point. I didn't really have the best examples in the trailer park."
He doesn't wait for Avery’s response - not that she could have given one, judging by her widened eyes and slack jaw. She can hear the hurt in his voice, even though it’s clear he’s trying not to convey it. Hearing his pain sends a quiver to her throat for the little boy that was beaten and that missed out on so much.
"I prayed every day to get out of that hell hole. I worked my ass off in school and went to both undergrad and medical school on full scholarships. In college, I met Shannon and I thought she was my game changer and that we'd be together forever. I was so in love with her that I didn't notice any of the signs that she was cheating until it was too late…” He pauses briefly, staring at nothing, then resumes, “And boy was she cheating. I found her in her dominatrix getup on top of her plaything in our apartment, the day I had planned on proposing."
A gasp escapes the barrier of Avery’s mouth at his heartbreaking revelation. She brings her hands to her mouth to cover her reaction.
"At that point I didn't want to consider another relationship and would sleep with any woman that threw herself at me. One of the girls in my residency program would come over occasionally and we would go at it. Man, she would do things I didn't even think were possible."
The thought of Logan having sex with another female causes Avery to cringe and that feeling alone makes her shake her head.
"I had thought we were exclusively screwing each other, apparently she didn't, because she told me she had been fucking other guys in the program too. Of course, that is after she told me she was pregnant and had aborted what she thought was my baby."
"Oh my god," Avery murmurs just loud enough for Logan to hear.
He turns his saddened eyes in her direction and places his hand on her cheek, wiping away tears she hadn't known seeped from her eyes.
"Women have done shitty things to me and I don't trust them. I haven't considered a relationship in a long time, Avery. But for some reason I trust you and I want a relationship with you, even if it is just a friendship," he says as his thumb brushes against her bottom lip. "You don't have to tell me anything now, but I hope that you'll be able to share with me one day."
"You don’t even know me," Avery sighs as she closes her eyes relishing the feel of his hand against her face.
“Don’t need to. I can feel it,” he replies gruffly.
Seconds later she feels his hand slide into her hair and tilt her head upward. His lips softly brush against hers in the gentlest kiss she’s ever felt. Before she realize what she’s doing Avery matches the movements of his mouth as her hand comes to rest on his wrist.
The kiss is beautiful. It's a first kiss girls dream about and movies try to recreate. If there was a chorus of angels singing hallelujah, now would be the moment they would crescendo.
They continue to kiss, Logan testing her boundaries, as he tastes her lips with his tongue, but before she is able to respond in return a high-pitched screech coming from the movie startles them and they jump apart.
Chests are heaving as they both work to catch their breath and Avery sends a mental thank you to Wes Craven for his perfectly timed distraction that kept her from continuing down a path she knows she would regret.
"I'm sorry, Avery. I got carried away, you just had this otherworldly look about you with your eyes closed and I couldn't help myself."
"That's ok. It won't happen again. I mean, friends don't kiss like that, right?"
Logan looks at her closely, analyzing the situation.
"Right. Austin and I don't kiss quite like that anyway," he says, adding a smirk for effect.
Avery giggles at him and playfully swats at his arm, but when her hand connects with his arm he takes her wrist in the grasp of his other hand and tugs her closer. His arm snakes around her shoulders and he stokes his fingers through her hair.
She looks up at his handsome profile and asks, "What are you doing, Logan?"
He responds in a very valley-girl accent, "I'm, like, playing with your hair. That's, like, what we do at slumber parties. And then we're going to have, like, a naked pillow fight."
Laughter explodes from Avery’s chest and she has a hard time catching her breath. She is grateful for his attempt to lighten the mood.
Once she finally calms down, Avery replies through bits of lingering chuckles, "Yes, to the playing with my hair, but no to the pillow fight."
"Damn," he says before tugging her head back onto his shoulder and commencing the hair stroking.
The feel of his fingers sliding through her hair settles her into an atmosphere of contention. They slowly slide into a lying position on the couch, Logan's chest to her back, as they continue to watch the Scream marathon.
At some point they both drift off into companionable slumber with Logan's arm wrapped around her and her head pressed to his shoulder.
THAT’S EXACTLY HOW NIKKI finds them the next morning.
Avery hears Nikki’s shriek of surprise before she has a moment to collect her thoughts. Opening her eyes, she finds Nikki looking down on her with a sated smile adorning her face. Avery returns her smile and Nikki gives her a thumbs-up before turning towards her room.
Knowing she’ll need to diffuse her thoughts about this situation later, she struggles to find a way to pry herself out of Logan's grasp. Before Avery has the chance, he turns her in his arms, smiling at her adorningly, and she can't help but return the gesture.
"Good morning," he whispers as he strokes his free hand through her hair again.
"Morning. Sorry we fell asleep on the couch," Avery says, closing her eyes against the decadent feel of his hands in her hair.
"I'm going to kiss you again if you keep closing your eyes like that," he adds, and she pops her eyes open at his admission, "And don't be sorry, I slept great."
They sit up on the couch, Logan stretching his arms above his head and causing his shirt to ride up, revealing a firm set of abs.
Catching the direction of her gaze, he laughs and asks, "Like what you see?" before standing and pulling his shirt higher. "Please get your fill, I work hard on these."
Damn!
He's beautiful, perfect even. His dark hair is an unruly mess that anyone else would have spent hours trying to recreate. His hazel eyes are bright and glowing above his straight nose and wide smile. Logan has a lot of muscles, more than she’s ever seen in person, but they don't make him intimidating. The way they stretch beneath his shirt and pull the material taut makes you fantasize about his arms wrapping around your body.
Friends, Avery. You can only be friends.
The smile on her face dissipates and he releases the shirt.
"You okay?"
"Yea," she replies sullenly.
"What did you want to do today, Mistress Avery?"
"What?"
"You won Uno. It's your day."
"Oh, um...I think I heard there is a fair in town. I'd like to do that."
"The fair? You’re sure?"
Tucking her chin to her chest, Avery replies shyly, "I've never been to one."
He smiles knowingly at her and offers to spend the day at the fair after he heads back to his home to shower and change. They agree to meet at noon at the fairgrounds.
Logan leaves after placing a soothing kiss on her forehead and Nikki comes out to join her in the living room.
The next hour is spent as Avery listens to Nikki divulging about her night with Austin. She seems to really like him and she says they did a lot of talking between the many bouts of sex.<
br />
Sex.
That’s something Avery hasn’t done in a very long time. Once Declan started showing signs of his illness, he had become too weak and they were afraid he would end up hurt.
Thinking of Declan causes the emptiness in her chest to radiate into aches that seep through her bones. The hurt is so drastic that Avery lets out a squeal of pain, startling Nikki in mid-sentence.
“You ok?” she asks, concern etched across her face.
She rubs Avery’s shoulder gently, hoping to calm her.
“Yea, I’m fine,” Avery replies, schooling her features in agreement with the lie.
“You’re not fine. I’m here going on and on about my night of debauchery and it’s making you miss Nick and Declan,”
A look of shock expels from her eyes.
“Don’t be mad. Melanie told me only so I could look out for you; to be there if you needed me to be.”
“I’m not mad, just…surprised that’s all.”
Avery continues to rub the sting in her chest.
“You’re a terrible liar. But regardless, you know they’d want you to be happy, right? To move on and live a fulfilled life?”
The tears begin building in Avery’s eyes. She has to work to hold back the walls of water from escaping past the lids.
“How can I move on when I did this to them? Why should I get to be happy when I’m the reason they’re gone?”
Surprisingly angry, Nikki moves from the couch and stands before her.
“You can’t seriously believe that, can you? There is no way in the entire world that you could be responsible for their death. Yea, I admit, bad things have happened to the people closest to you, but you can’t let that fear rule your life. No one would want that for you.”
My grandmother would.
Changing her stance, Nikki crouches in front of Avery and takes her hands.
“Look, Logan’s great. If you’re not ready for anything, that’s fine. But if you are, then you should go for it! Nick and Declan would want you to be happy and I will do anything I can to help you see that. I’m a great friend that way,” she says with a signature saucy grin. Continuing, she commands, “But either way, we have a fair to get to so go take a shower and wear something cute.”
Coming Alive: Welcome to Carson, Book One Page 8
