Racing away from the complex, Avery plugs the address she had stolen from work a week ago into her GPS, heading for the one place where she knows she will feel safe.
LOGAN STOPPED BY AUSTIN’S parents’ house on his way home. When he first moved to Carson, Austin’s parents immediately embraced him and treated him as if he were one of their own. It was a nice sensation, feeling wanted and loved. Austin comes from a big family, six kids all together, and his parents show love and affection equally. It's a great environment to be a part of.
Today had been another rough one. Seeing Avery in the parking lot brought another pang to his chest, identical to the aches he’s experienced for the last two weeks. He had no choice but to ignore her at work, because every time he looked at her, the urge to wrap her in his arms and never let go was almost irresistible.
While eating dinner with Joseph and Amy, Austin's parents, Amy instantly questions him, carefully trying to determine what was wrong. He didn't tell her anything more than that he wished he had grown up with her as a mother – though the thought only depresses him more.
Austin's family had invited him to hang around for a bit after the meal, but an overwhelming urge to head home was burned into the back of his brain. So after saying his goodbyes, he slid into his car and made his way back to the old Craftsman rental home.
Turning into his driveway, Logan is surprised to find Avery's SUV sitting sedentary in front of the garage. More shocking is that he finds her sitting on his steps, hunched over, head resting on her knees.
Now Logan understands that nagging sensation he had felt at dinner: she must have been upset and waiting for him. Their connection is so strong, so solid, that he can sense her emotions from miles away.
She doesn't budge as he pulls into the drive or as he steps out of the vehicle. At first, he suspected she had fallen asleep waiting for him, but as he hesitantly approaches her, Logan can hear the soul-crushing sobs wracking her body.
He wastes no time with questions, instead, he scoops her up into his arms and gently carries her into his home. Resting her on the couch, Logan leaves her momentarily to heat up some water for some tea. It's what Amy always does for her girls when they're upset.
The ceramic of the cup clanks against the wood as it is placed on the coffee table, alerting Avery of her surroundings.
"I'm sorry," she says between sniffles, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "I didn't know where else to go."
Even though her face is blotched and red, wetness is dripping freely from her eyes and nose and her hair a knotted mess, Logan still feels his heart lurch. She’s easily one of the most beautiful creatures he’s ever laid eyes on.
"Take a few breaths and tell me what's wrong."
Situating himself in the corner of his sectional couch, he pulls her to rest against his side, offering her comfort. He waits patiently as Avery takes deep breaths, hoping to calm herself down.
"You're not going to like what I have to tell you."
"I doubt that's true, but we won't know until you tell me."
"Right."
She takes a few more deeps breaths - in through her nose, out through her mouth - and then she rests her head on his chest, pulling his arm tighter around her lithe body: using him as a shield from her demons.
"My grandmother passed away last week."
Logan looks down at her during her admission, but she offers no moment of silence for his commiserations.
"I hated her. With every fiber of my being, I hated her."
And then she launches into the story of her childhood, and of her sister, Aria. Logan is in complete awe at how strong this woman is - his woman. Because now, after listening to only a portion of her story, he can't help but feel an even deeper need to protect her.
"I was eighteen when I took Aria away from that hell. It's also when I met Nick. He was the sweetest guy I never knew I could have. And when he proposed I never thought twice about my answer."
Spurts of jealousy detonate beneath his skin, but Logan quickly squashes the emotion. He already knows the nature of this tale won't be a good one.
"I blame myself; one-hundred percent blame myself. Aria had a dentist appointment and I didn't think to reschedule my meeting to take her, so Nick offered. I hated having to depend on him to do it. But instead of coming up with another way, I thanked him and went on my way. And it was the weirdest thing; when we were all saying goodbye that morning, it was like we all knew something bad was going to happen. Nick and Aria were crushed at an intersection when a tractor-trailer overturned, taking a right-handed turn too tight. He was carrying some big highway concrete material. Nick's little car didn't stand a chance.”
"Oh, Avery. I'm so sorry, sweetheart."
Avery doesn't even acknowledge his sympathy. She shrugs her shoulders and continues.
"I don't remember grieving, per se, I simply lived day-to-day to finish school and get a job. It's what Mila had worked so hard for and I refused to disappoint her. I got a job working with Nikki's cousin, Melanie, and her now-husband, Max. Of course, I worked with them prior to their elopement.” For a moment, she chuckles quietly, a whisper of a smile crossing her lips,
“Ha, I didn't even know they were interested in each other. That's how much I paid attention to the goings on around me.
“Anyway, we were all working one day, when this guy Declan is at the main desk talking to Max. I hadn't met anyone like him before and he really wasn't what I would have thought I'd ever be attracted to, but I was. He was totally cocky and didn't even give me a chance to turn down a date. He pulled me out of the fog I had been in and I thought that finally my life was going to turn around.
“We talked about marriage about six months after we started dating. We were both really excited.” She stares into the distance, unblinking. “Then he got sick - really sick. He had an inoperable brain tumor that continued to grow, crushing everything in its path. As you can imagine, he didn't last much longer after the diagnosis. I lasted two more years after he passed away before Melanie gave me the chance to move here and start over.
“I kill the people I love Logan and I refuse to let something happen to you. I don't even know if I have anything left to give you, but I know I don’t have any more strength to watch you die."
Logan sits there in silence as she wipes the tears from under her eyes. He can't say it doesn't hurt to hear that she had been claimed before, that if not for these horrific accidents in her life, they never would have crossed paths.
"I'm sorry, Avery. No one should ever have to go through what you've been through, heck, not even a smidgen of what you've been through. I wish I would have had the chance to meet Aria, Nick, and Declan, especially seeing how much you loved them."
"You probably didn't want to hear about other men, but I needed you to understand."
"Understand what?"
She looks up at him, a shocked and confused expression on her face.
"Understand why I can't be more than friends with you."
"Avery," Logan says, reaching up and bringing her face closer to his, "We're already more than friends."
And then he seals his lips over hers to prove his point. And just as he expected, her body responds immediately. She makes no move to touch him, but her kiss says everything she refuses to verbalize.
Pulling herself away, she keeps her face a few inches from his.
"I don't want anything to happen to you. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I don't know when or how, but you already mean more than anyone else has, ever."
"Don't think that way. We'll take it slow and go one day at a time, ok?"
"Hmm,” she hesitantly replies. She brushes her fingers along his chest, nervously biting her lip before she continues, “That's not all though. In my grandmother's will she left me my father's name and address. She said he didn't even know about me. I don't know if I should try to seek him out."
"Well, it's not like you have a time limit. Just think about it for a while, and when you m
ake your decision, I can go with you if you'd like."
"You'd do that for me?"
"Haven't you realized yet that I'd do about anything for you? I've been miserable staying away from you, Avery."
"Me too,” she murmurs quietly. “I'm sorry I have been so stubborn, but I'm so scared, Logan. It's going to take me a long time to let go of the fear."
"Have you eaten?" he asks suddenly, tenderly stroking the side of her face.
She ducks her head and shakes it in response.
"Well, let me make something for you real quick and then I'll run you a bath, ok?"
"You don't have to go through all that trouble," she replies, beginning to rise from the couch.
Finger on her chin, he tips her head towards him and simply states, "Avery, I'm more than happy to," then leans forward and kisses her again.
Damn, she tastes good.
Adjusting himself on the way to the kitchen, he opens up a bottle of red wine that Austin's sister Cassidy had given him for his birthday. Logan brings the glass to Avery where she remains unmoved on his sofa, but she manages to squeak out a thank you.
Back in the kitchen, Logan decides to whip up a quick chicken and pasta alfredo. As he stirs the sauce with a wooden spoon, all the information Avery disclosed churns helplessly through his mind.
My god, has she been through some shit.
Her mother was non-existent; her grandmother abused her and her sister, and worse of all, she had to endure the deaths of her guardian, her sister, and not one, but two fiancés. Even though Logan doesn't want to dwell on the fact that she has been engaged twice, he can't imagine losing two different people that you had once planned on spending your life with. His chest physically aches when he thinks about losing her. His reaction to the dream he had about two weeks ago only cements his feelings for Avery. Logan would be devastated, utterly and completely devastated, if she was no longer in his life.
Lost in his own reveries, Logan doesn't notice when Avery walks into his kitchen and rests against the counter beside the stove. He startles when he hears her sorrowful sigh and he looks into her eyes, seeing the exhaustion written there; not just from today, but from the years of mourning.
"Smells good."
"Thanks, it'll be ready in about twenty. Why don't you go ahead and take that bath and I'll get you when it's ready?"
She smiles, but the creases don't reach her eyes, more like she's acting complacent.
"Great, let me get it ready for you."
Heading into his master bathroom, he fills the claw-foot tub he had Austin install when they renovated the place. It was his understanding that women love these kinds of tubs, and Logan aimed to please. Now he is even more satisfied with his choice knowing that Avery will feel comfortable.
He pours in some vanilla and lavender oils to the water, courtesy of Austin's mom, Amy. When the water reaches a good level, he dims the overheads and lights a few candles. This should definitely help her relax.
Preparing to exit the bathroom, Logan turns to find Avery standing at the entrance; she must have followed.
She murmurs timidly, "You didn't have to go to all this trouble."
Logan walks closer to her and weaves his fingers in her hair; he knows she loves when he does this.
"I am happy to do this for you, Avery."
Leaning forward, she cautiously presses her lips against his in thanks, but as his body is so tightly wound, Logan reciprocates ten-fold. His fingers tighten in her hair, urging her closer. Her hands slip past his shirt and rub against his lower back, eliciting feelings that he knows shouldn't exist right now. He steps back from her embrace and she drops her hands in rejection, but as Logan looks in her eyes he doesn't find anything. No desire, no lust, just emptiness. She's hollow.
"Soon, sweetheart, but not now, not tonight."
Pressing a quick peck to her forehead, he exits the bathroom before he loses anymore self-control. The press of her lips against his drives him crazy.
Back in his bedroom, Logan removes a pair of boxers and a t-shirt from his dresser for her to wear when she finishes her bath.
Heading back to the kitchen he grabs her glass from the living room and refills it, placing it on the table for later.
As Logan waits for Avery to make her appearance, he is answering a few work emails when suddenly a text from Austin pops up.
Austin: Hey man, are you out? Have you seen Nikki?
Me: Naw man I have Avery here so I don't know where Nikki is.
Austin: Let me know if you or Avery hears anything. I think I screwed up big time.
Me: I hope you find her. And I'll let you know if we hear anything.
Austin: Thanks. Oh and get laid!
Me: Eat a dick.
Austin: Fuck you! Later bro.
Me: Later
As Logan finishes his conversation, Avery stumbles into his kitchen, looking like a vision. Her cheeks redden as he gazes at her appreciatively. Never has Logan seen boxers and a t-shirt look so seductive – so entrancing.
"Dinners ready," he squeaks out, sounding like a pre-pubescent boy.
But I'll talk like that the remainder of the night if I receive the true and honest smile that currently graces her face.
"This looks great. Thank you. And your bath is a dream."
Holding the chair out for her, Logan slides her under the table once she plants herself on the seat.
"Well I'm glad I made a good investment; you're the first person to use it."
"Really? Why do you have it then if you don't take baths?"
"Do you really want the answer to that?" Logan says, chuckling under his breath. "In all seriousness, Al planned on flipping the house and reselling it to a family, but it sort of grew on me. Plus, Al lets me rent this thing for pennies."
"It's adorable; what I've seen of it anyway. Do you still flip homes?
"I try to fit it in when I can. Austin finds a property and when I have time, I help or I invest. We've made a pretty penny with all the newcomers that have flocked to our town. His entire family helps out, really."
"That's so neat. And to have the whole family involved."
"They're a great group. I'd love to introduce you sometime. Austin's parents are like the parents I never had."
She nods her head as she finishes off her plate of alfredo.
"This was great, Logan. Thank you."
"You're welcome, I was happy to do it. What do you want to do now? Watch some television? A movie?"
A look crosses Avery's face. One Logan can't decipher, so he holds his breath, waiting for her response.
"Logan, can you…” She fumbles for words for a moment, “Would you just hold me? Please?"
"I would be happy to, sweetheart. Let's go. I'll clean this up in the morning."
Taking her hand in his own, he directs her to his bedroom and tugs back the sheets so that she can climb into his large, four poster bed.
Logan turns his back to her as he removes his pants and shirt, then startles slightly when he hears her strong intake of air.
"What's the matter?"
"Your tattoo. It's incredible. I don’t know how I missed it last time."
Smiling at her, he continues to remove his clothes before strolling over to the other side of the bed. Lying on his stomach, he leaves his back exposed for viewing and Avery wastes no time in exploring. Logan doesn't mention to her that the fingertip trails she weaves, back and forth over the feathers, is complete torture.
"They're wings," she whispers to herself.
Spanning the majority of his back and wrapping around his biceps are intricately detailed feathers, wings. The pain staking process took eight sessions of design and shading, but it was worth every second of agony. His friend Cliff did an amazing job.
"They represent my flight. My voyage to get away from the trash I grew up in and make something of myself."
Her breath coming heavier now, she says, "They're angel wings, Logan." Continuing to trace the feathers, she speaks to h
erself, "They seem so familiar."
Yanking her down from where she hovers beside him, Logan rests her back against his chest.
"Thank you for telling me everything." Logan says, placing kisses along her shoulder and neck.
"Thank you for listening and being open-minded."
Responding with a moan as his hand brushes across her breast, he feels her nipple harden under his touch, her gasp alerting him to her enjoyment.
"You need to stop, Logan," she says in a husky breath that insinuates the complete opposite, but he knows the moment isn't right, so he pulls his hand back and rests it against her waist.
"Sorry, darling. I'll control myself better."
And with a final kiss on her shoulder, Logan falls into the most peaceful sleep he’s had in years. All thanks to this beautiful woman that trusts him to save her.
THE FEEL OF SAFETY and warmth envelopes Avery as she lies wrapped in Logan’s arms, but duty calls and she slinks away from his embrace to head to his restroom. Disclosing her tragic past with him yesterday evening removed this incredible weight that had so long been bearing down on her. She feels lighter, freer, as if she can breathe for the first time ever.
Opening the bathroom door slowly, as to not wake Logan, she find herself stopping mid-stride as she witnesses the beauty resting under crumpled sheets. Logan lies on his stomach, head turned to the direction she slept, the sun streaming in through the windows to the right. In this moment, with his tattoo in full view, he looks like an angel - halo and all.
Needing a way to capture this moment, Avery grabs her new phone from her purse, which is resting on the chair in the corner, and snaps a picture.
Finished with her business, she quietly closes the bedroom door. Avery strolls to the kitchen while checking her phone and listens to a voicemail that Nikki left late last night. Apparently, she had another fight with Austin and had gone to Savannah to stay with Melanie and Max for a few days.
Lifting her head from the phone’s screen, Avery gasps as she notices the mess left in the kitchen and makes quick work of cleaning the dishes and storing them away. Once the last plate is put away, her stomach grumbles loudly. Checking his fridge, Avery grabs a pan, scrambles some eggs and fries up some bacon that she found.
Coming Alive: Welcome to Carson, Book One Page 11
