* * *
Just as I’d predicted, I was tired the next morning from a night spent tossing and turning and daydreaming about Cade. I continued to struggle through my classes the next day, trying to stay focused, but all I could think about was a pair of changeable, green Faelorehn eyes and the confident smile that went with them. Finally, the bell announcing the end of class rang and I made a bee line for the field behind school.
Although Cade wasn’t due for another hour or so, I went straight to the clearing in the swamp. Thomas had invited us over to hang out with him during his sister’s Quinceañera and normally I would have gone, but I told him I already had plans. Everyone had eyed me suspiciously as if they thought I was lying. For once, I wasn’t.
As I waited, I pulled at the bark from the old fallen eucalyptus I leaned against. My nerves were frazzled and my skin felt clammy. Knock it off Meg! I told myself. He’s just a guy! If only.
Finally, the crack of brush sounded behind me and I whipped around. Trotting down the path that led deeper into the swamp was Fergus, followed by Cade. My heart stopped working for a few moments as I watched his tall, confident frame come into view. But something was wrong. He looked hunched over and as he moved closer, he seemed to stagger as he walked. Concern soon replaced my feeling of anticipation.
He chose to walk around the log instead of jumping over it, and came to stand several feet in front of me.
“Meghan,” he breathed, his face breaking into a wide smile.
On any normal day, I would have melted into a puddle at his feet, for he sounded as if the sight of me standing there was the greatest thing in the world to him. But his appearance took the joy right out of the moment. He looked absolutely haggard; how I would have expected him to look had he truly been a homeless man and not simply pretending to be one. His hair, usually tousled but well cared for, looked greasy and unkempt. His eyes seemed empty and their color was so close to black I couldn’t tell his pupils from his irises. Deep shadows painted the space beneath his eyes and his skin looked as pallid as death.
“Cade,” I said, my voice pitched low, “what has happened to you?”
He winced, and even that small action looked painful. Fergus whined softly next to him.
Cade ran his fingers through his hair, that familiar action I had come to recognize as a sign of distress. I stood there, leaning against the fallen tree, not knowing what to do. I crossed my arms and watched him, waiting for some signal to either hug him or stay put. Hugging him would be ideal, but I wasn’t brave enough to offer up that form of comfort. He glanced at the ground, took a breath as if to speak, then ran his hands through his hair again.
“What’s wrong?” I asked again, trying to keep the quiver from my voice.
Something was clearly agitating him and I had a feeling that it had something to do with me. Hadn’t his note said so? And if Cade, the Otherworldly bounty hunter/assassin extraordinaire was nervous, then I was nervous cubed, maybe even to the fourth or fifth power.
Finally he stopped running his hands through his hair and instead placed them on his hips, slouching a little. He wasn’t facing me, but he turned his head to the side and finally gave me his full attention. I nearly fell over. His eyes were so haunted, and he looked even more run down than I had thought on first examination. What in the world, or more appropriately, what in the Otherworld had done this to him?
I pushed away from the log and slowly reached out my hand. Just as quickly I snatched it back to my side. What was I thinking? A fleeting image of me walking up to him and placing my hand gently on his face to comfort him flashed in my mind, followed by a similar image of him taking me in his arms to help soothe his troubled thoughts. Ridiculous. I might have a major crush on him, but that didn’t mean he returned those feelings.
He sighed and looked away again, his impressive height and bulk seeming to diminish.
“I discovered some troubling information, that’s all.”
That’s all? Troubling information? What did that mean and how could he refer to it so nonchalantly if he was behaving this way because of it?
“What kind of information?”
He nodded. “About you.”
That shook me. I knew he had wanted to discuss something of importance with me, but I had no idea it would be construed as troubling. I gaped at him, suddenly feeling light-headed.
“Wh-what do you mean? Troubling? How is it troubling? Is someone else after me? Are there more faelah looking for me?” I babbled.
Cade stepped closer, reaching out a hand, and for a split-second I thought he might actually act on that fantasy I’d envisioned earlier. But he stopped short and pulled his hand into a fist, letting it drop to his side. He bowed his head and took a deep breath.
“What I learned is that you may be the daughter of a Tuatha De Danann and a Fomorian.”
I blinked. Huh? Why was that troubling exactly? I recalled the story of the great battle between the Tuatha De and the Fomorians and how most of the Celtic pantheon was associated with the Tuatha De. I knew, according to my internet searches and from the books Cade had given me, that there were a few Faelorehn descended from both lines and that they were often responsible for mischief, but really, I had no designs on upturning the Otherworld. Me? Wreaking havoc in a world of magical monsters and powerful gods? I almost nearly choked on a laugh. I couldn’t even stand up to the school bullies and their only weapons were harsh words.
“I never discussed the Tuatha De Danann or the Fomorians with you,” Cade said, almost apologetically.
I held up a hand. “The Fomorians are the magical natives of Ireland and the more demon-like of the two and the Tuatha De arrived during one of the invasions of Ireland. Most of the Celtic gods and goddesses are associated with the Tuatha De.”
Cade actually smiled. “You have been doing your research, haven’t you?”
That warmed me, despite the lingering chill of Cade’s news.
“I don’t understand,” I finally said. “Why is that troubling? Isn’t everyone in the Otherworld, well besides the faelah of course, either Fomorian or Tuatha De? And aren’t some of them both?”
I was very confused, and terrified. Not necessarily because of this news, but because of the way Cade looked at me then, as if I were one of the grotesque little gnomes that had chased after me several months ago.
“It’s troubling because when a Faelorehn child is born to one Tuatha De parent and one Fomorian parent, often times they come with at least one major character flaw that will surely lead into ruin.”
Basically, he was telling me I was a ticking time bomb. My shoulders drooped and I fought the urge to cry. A cadre of thoughts buzzed through my head: he said you may be a descendent of a Fomorian and a Tuatha De Meg, you may be, nothing definite . . . and it’s the twenty-first century for goodness’ sake! People don’t behave like barbarians anymore! Who knows, maybe your character flaw is the inability to act like a normal, socially obsessed, mall visiting, cell phone texting teen. Chin up!
But of course, my mind decided to dwell on the one, single worst thought it could conjure: of course you have a flaw, duh! This is why you were abandoned to begin with!
I shook my head and cleared my throat. No need to panic. Yet. I looked up at Cade, hoping those weren’t tears I felt swimming in my eyes.
“What do you mean by character flaw?” Annoying conscience or not, I wanted to know all the details.
Cade shifted his weight and crossed his arms. The late afternoon light only made his gaunt features more pronounced. I frowned in sympathy. What would he do if I tried to comfort him? Probably break my neck in one swift movement. I was flawed, remember? Just because he helped me before didn’t mean he wanted to now. Not after learning I was half god, half demon.
“Do you remember the story of Bres?”
I narrowed my eyes and tilted my head, trying to recall. After a few seconds I nodded. “Led the
Fomorians against the Tuatha De in the great battle of Maige Tuired.” I had read it in one of the books he had given me.
Cade nodded. “His mother was Fomorian; his father Tuatha De. He made the mistake of claiming sovereignty through his mother’s line, unbalanced the Celtic social structure, and therefore brought about war and mayhem. That is how the story goes, at least from the Celts’ perspective. In truth, Bres’s mixed blood gave him more power than most Faelorehn and he used it to drive a wedge between the two races of Eile. His flaw was arrogance, something that was only fed by his power.”
I licked my lips. I could see how being arrogant and powerful could ruin a king and his kingdom. Had it not happened in earth’s own history? But what sort of flaw could I possibly have that would lead to war? I almost snorted. Well, I knew for sure it wasn’t arrogance.
“So, you’re saying I’m going to somehow wreak havoc in the Otherworld because of a flaw I have?” How could I do that when I wasn’t even in the Otherworld?
Cade didn’t speak.
I sighed. My initial fear had ebbed but I was still a bit jumpy. I told myself that just because I was half Fomorian and half Tuatha De didn’t mean I had to follow in Bres’s footsteps. Perhaps we could prevent any major catastrophes if I knew what to expect.
“Well, what is my character flaw then?” I asked, crossing my arms in an attempt to stop the nervous fluttering in my stomach.
Cade looked up. At least his eyes were looking less black and more jade now. “I don’t know. You may already be displaying it, or it may be lying dormant, waiting for you to awaken it in the Otherworld.”
Cade drew another long breath, letting it out slowly. “I know I said you weren’t ready to visit the Otherworld, but I think you should know how to get there, just in case.”
Wait, he was telling me my character flaw might come suddenly to life if I crossed over to the Otherworld and now he wanted to show me how to get there?
I must have had a look of bafflement on my face, because he snorted and said, “I know it seems even more dangerous now, knowing that you could very well have the potential to cause chaos in Eile. But the future seems uncertain from where I stand and I’m willing to take the risk.”
What was he saying?
“If something happens here and I’m not around to help you, I want you to have another option.”
Cade looked troubled; sad even. I felt another spark of fear course through me. Before I could say anything, he gestured for me to follow him back down the trail from where he had come. I went wordlessly, with Fergus trailing behind us.
Cade spoke as we walked, the quiet woods standing witness to our progress.
“I would rather take you to the Otherworld myself, but current circumstances forbid me from doing so. You would be helpless until you grew into your power, but that takes time. Yet I fear that if you remain here, should certain events come to pass, you would be more exposed to danger than if you were in the Otherworld. Until we know how your mixed blood is going to affect Eile, it is best to keep you safe and hidden. Some people would rather see you dead than risk learning whether or not you are a threat.”
Cade stopped and turned to look at me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and caught my gaze. I shivered.
“I have told others about you, other Faelorehn whom I trust. They know to help you if you arrive in the Otherworld alone.”
“But,” I whispered harshly, my jumbled thoughts barely breaking through my shell-shocked mind, “why are you even helping me if I’m such a danger to the Otherworld?”
Cade sighed, one thumb lifting off my shoulder to gently graze my neck. It was through sheer willpower alone that I didn’t fall against him. He looked off to the side, then squared his jaw and glanced back at me, his eyes flashing between green and black. “Not every Tuatha De-Fomorian Faelorehn brings harm upon Eile. It is when they are found by the wrong people and exploited that causes problems. If your power or flaw is strong Meghan, then you would make a very useful weapon to the wrong people. I’m hoping that we can avoid those people, but I might be too late.”
His thumb stopped its caress but it stayed pressed against my neck. My mind and senses were on overdrive, but eventually coherent thoughts started bubbling to the surface. Why was Cade telling me this? What did he mean, if I arrived alone in the Otherworld and he might be too late? Why wouldn’t he be the one to take me? Then it dawned upon me. His exhaustion, his haunted eyes, this little speech, the way he had brushed his thumb over my skin as if trying to comfort me . . . He was expecting someone to do harm to me, and not just a raven trying to knock me off a bridge or a pack of gnomes trying to scratch at my legs. He was expecting someone to bring down a war upon me or to take me and turn me into a monster, and he was planning to defend me. Defend me but not survive.
I must have cried out and lost my balance, because Cade’s arm was now under my elbow, supporting my weight.
No. I wanted to scream. No! I didn’t want some demented army of faelah to kill me, and I didn’t want Cade to die either. I started to cry for real this time.
“No Meghan, you must know how to get to the Otherworld.”
He grabbed my arm, a little more roughly than usual, and practically dragged me along. We came to the end of the path and turned right, down a great gully carved from years of rain. The sand was smooth beneath my feet and our path was blocked by eucalyptus trees that had fallen victim to the eroded hillside.
Finally we came to the end of the culvert and Cade stopped. My arm would be bruised, but I didn’t care. I was too upset; upset at too many things. I had just learned my true identity a handful of months ago and now I would be fighting for my life without the proper tools I needed. It was so unbearably unfair.
“Meghan,” Cade said gently, gesturing towards a place in the canyon wall where several fallen trees had accumulated.
A dark hole in the side of the earth sat behind it, half hidden by strips of hanging bark and branches. A chill covered my body when I saw the cave and I quailed away from it.
“Although it is covered by the hillside,” Cade was saying quietly as he stared at the black maw, “there is a dolmarehn there. If you enter this cave, it will take you to the Otherworld. But Meghan,” he turned me towards him and grabbed my arms once more, gently this time. His voice was harsh when he spoke again, “you must promise me you will not enter the Otherworld unless you feel you have no other choice.”
I nodded numbly.
“Promise me!” he hissed as he shook me.
“I, I promise,” I whispered as a tear streaked down my cheek.
Just then, a stale, cold breeze poured from the cave, followed by the sound of distant murmuring. I thought my bones had frozen.
Cade stiffened. “I must go,” he said with no emotion.
Before he stepped past the fallen trees and into the cavern, he reached back and touched my cheek, wiping away my stray tears. He smiled, even though his green eyes held sadness, then disappeared into the dark. Fergus, who had remained strangely quiet this entire time, whined and followed after him.
I was left standing in complete disbelief, staring blankly into a hole in the ground that I was sure was haunted. My mind was far too overwhelmed to think clearly, but a few things surfaced in my mind before I forced myself to walk home. I was in danger, more so than I thought. If I really was some Fomorian, Tuatha De hybrid, and if I really could be a potential threat, then it wasn’t too far-fetched to believe those of the Otherworld would want me eliminated. Or worse, would want to use me in order to destroy their enemies. If that raven that had been following me really was a pet of the Morrigan, then she could very well be the one after me. Yes, I was in trouble, but so was Cade. Although he never actually said the words, he had indicated that he would fight to defend me and he didn’t expect to survive such a battle.
A sob left my chest, and I clutched my arms around my waist. I had to get away from this portal, this
cave to the Otherworld, before I was tempted enough to run after him.
I arrived home to find the house empty. Good. I couldn’t face my family now, not after everything I had just learned. I got undressed, took a long, hot shower, and then got into bed. I was immensely glad that tomorrow was Saturday because there was no way I could face my friends in the morning. I would need the weekend to recover and decide what I was going to do next. No, I would not sit back and just let some Otherworldly thing kill or kidnap me, but according to Cade, the odds definitely were not in my favor.
-Sixteen-
Depressed
Naturally, I was depressed all that week. Tully and Robyn asked me constantly what was wrong, but I merely shrugged and mumbled some lame excuse. They told me that I’d been acting strange for weeks and insisted I tell them what was bothering me.
“Is it some guy?” Robyn asked as she sucked the last of her soda through a neon bendy straw.
I drew in a breath then shook my head. Well, yes and no, I thought to myself. I couldn’t tell them everything I knew even if I wanted to. I wasn’t the only one involved at that point and even if I was, they would finally see me as everyone else did: a freak.
Okay guys, do you really want to hear the truth? I’m not human after all. Nope, I’m Faelorehn, from the Otherworld. Immortal. Remember that huge raven that tried to kill me? Yeah, it was from the Otherworld too, and apparently I’m some freakish, demon-god half-breed that may or may not inadvertently destroy the structure of the Otherworld, so you might want to keep your distance in case any other rogue faelah are after me. Oh, and you were right about the guy. He’s the one who told me all of this, but it doesn’t matter, because he is perfect and has the most amazing eyes and he might die any day now trying to keep all these Otherworldly creepy crawlers away from me.
I didn’t say it out loud of course. No, I didn’t have the guts to, and Tully and Robyn wouldn’t believe me anyway. But thinking about Cade made me suddenly miserable and embarrassed at the same time. He must think I’m a huge threat and a complete waste of time. My cheeks started to warm as I recalled how foolish I had acted around him.
Robyn smacked me in the back and laughed, “I knew it!”
“Robyn!” Tully growled, “Can’t you see she’s depressed?”
I blinked up at them, confused. My internal tirade had sapped my attention for the last minute or two. Then I remembered what Robyn had asked me before and my blush deepened. They wanted to know about Cade.
“Oh, sorry,” Robyn said. She crumpled her can and chucked it into the nearest recycling bin. “Wanna talk about it?”
I gave her a glare and shook my head. That was Robyn’s way of saying, ‘Please give me the details!’
“Oh, come on, it will make you feel better,” she insisted, patting me this time instead of smacking me.
“No, really, it isn’t what you think,” I blurted. Liar. It was exactly what she thought. Sort of. I was miserable because I liked a boy and he didn’t like me back. Ugh, that was a lie too. If only it were that simple.
“Is it someone who goes to school here?” Robyn grimaced as she said it, knowing how we both felt about the boys at our high school.
“Robyn, she doesn’t want to talk. Remember what happened the last time we bugged her about one of her crushes?”
Despite my focus on the downward spiral my life had become, I cringed at the memory. It had been in junior high and the boy of my dreams had been inconveniently walking by when I blurted his name out as my secret crush to my pestering friends. I tried to fake illness for the rest of the week, but Mom would have nothing of it. The weeks that followed had been some of the worst of my life. I had a bad feeling that one of these days I would end up looking back and laughing at how insignificant they were, but I had an even nastier feeling that worse situations loomed ahead. The bell announcing the end of lunch rang and I was brought back to the present.
“Oh, fine!” Robyn complained. “But you’re going to have to spill the beans eventually. Oh! Maybe at our Beltaine festival in a few weeks! It will be the perfect time to divulge anything to do with romance.” She winked and skipped off in the direction of her next class.
“Beltaine?” Tully asked, looking confused.
“May first. It’s a Celtic festival that celebrates the beginning of the light half of the year, or the start of spring,” I said.
Tully stopped and looked at me in surprise. “How do you know that?”
I paused outside the door to our math class. I had forgotten that, for the past several months, I had kept my research of the Celtic world a secret from my friends. Because, let’s face it, they would wonder at my sudden interest in the myths and legends of the ancient people of Ireland. I cursed myself. How could I be so careless? Oh yeah, duh. Gloom and doom headed my way soon, and the stupid side effects that resulted from pining after a guy.
“Um, well, Robyn went off on a tangent the other day after she dropped you off after school.”
I smiled, but the look Tully gave me told me she wasn’t convinced. The tardy bell rang and as Mr. Skaring glared at us as we took our seats, I was grateful. It meant Tully couldn’t question me further and I was certain that the oh-so fascinating world of pre-calculus would bludgeon any memories of the past hour out of her mind.
Faelorehn - Book One of the Otherworld Trilogy Page 14
