The kitchen had grown warm, and suddenly Sadie found the room airless, her face hot. Circling around Uncle Nate and Adam, she went out through the porch and breathed in soft, fresh air. Out on the wide swath of grass in front of the house Jonah and Gabe were having a volleyball match with cousins Ben and Abe. She headed in that direction, content to sit on the grass in the shade of the tall, swaying beech trees. Normally she would have joined in the volleyball, as games were a favorite activity of hers, but today, she held back.
Near the house a quilt had been hung out to dry, and Sadie fixed her eyes on the beautiful colors as it flapped in the gentle breeze. It was a Sunshine and Shadow quilt, a vivid diamond surrounded by lines of color alternating from bright to dark. Rose to black, blue to orange, brown to lime green.
Darkness and light. Sunshine and shadow.
The old quilt reminded Sadie of her two worlds: the shadowed music she lost herself in at night with the band, and the sunshine that bathed this farm, the home of her birth.
I’ve got one foot in each world, she thought, pulling at a sprig of grass. I’m straddling the paddock fence.
A movement close by caught her attention, and she looked over to see her brother Jonah coming toward her.
“Was ist los?” He sat down beside her, tipping his straw hat back to make eye contact. “When I see you pass up a volleyball game, I know something is wrong. What is it?”
His dark eyes were so earnest, Sadie wanted to share her thoughts, starting with the fact that she’d lost her job and explaining the irresistible attraction of making music with the band. She knew Jonah wouldn’t be mad at her, but he would have to tell Adam, and that would make for a sticky mess. “A girl can’t sit and enjoy a beautiful day?” she asked, trying to make her voice light.
The low growl from his throat told her he wasn’t convinced. He pulled his hat off and rubbed the back of one hand over his damp forehead. “Is it about the baptism classes starting after Easter?”
“Baptism?” She hadn’t been thinking of that at all, but now that Jonah had mentioned it, the decision seemed to be charging toward her like a team of horses.
Baptism …
She wasn’t ready, but now that she was eighteen people would be expecting it, wouldn’t they?
She stared down at the grass, wondering how she could have forgotten that the classes would be starting soon. Everyone would be watching her on that Sunday, watching and hoping that she would join the classes with the bishop, declaring that she was ready to be a part of their church. A baptized member.
“I know it’s a big decision.” Jonah let his hat flop onto the grass. “When I was facing it, I felt kind of trapped. Everyone just expected me to get baptized. The quiet one, that’s what they called me, ya?”
“They still do,” she teased. “But right now you’re gabbing enough to shed the nickname.”
He swiped at a cloud of gnats with one big hand. “Anyway, most folk thought I would go without a ripple of doubt. But it wasn’t an easy thing for me. I got all worked up with questions about our church and other churches, too. I rode my horse off every other Sunday, visiting other churches.”
“Ya?” Sadie wound a string of grass around one finger. It was hard to imagine calm, steady Jonah worked up over anything. “I remember you being gone, but I didn’t know where you went off to.”
“I didn’t tell anyone, but Dat knew. Somehow he guessed what I was doing.”
“Was he upset with you?”
Jonah stared off toward the cow barn. “Not our dat. He told me it was good to learn everything you can about something. That Gott gave us a brain in our head so that we could gain knowledge. That was all he said. He never pushed, but I came around on my own.”
Sadie thought of Jonah visiting other churches. She knew a bit about the Mennonites, but truly none of that interested her. She didn’t want to go off and find another faith. She had been raised Amish, and she had always wanted to be baptized in the Anabaptist tradition, just like everyone else in her family. Faith wasn’t her problem. Her love of music was the thing that was pulling her away from this life she had always loved.
How she wished she could have both—her music and her Amish life. Right now they both seemed equally important, like night and day, earth and air.
“The thing is, I don’t think I’m ready to be baptized,” Sadie said, regret heavy in her heart. “I wish I could do it. You know I want to ease everyone’s mind, and I surely can’t imagine spending the rest of my days anywhere but here.”
“Then what’s holding you back?” Jonah’s brown eyes studied her thoughtfully. “Is it the English boyfriend you’ve been sneaking off to see?”
Sadie shook her head; although she liked Frank, he wasn’t standing in the way of her decision.
“Then what is it, Sadie?” Jonah cocked his head to one side, eager to hear her answer.
How she wanted to tell him, to let her sorrows and worries spill from her. There wasn’t a better person to talk to than strong, patient Jonah. But she couldn’t put her feelings for music into words, at least not words that made sense. “I can’t explain it to you, Jonah, but I know in my heart that nothing will ever take me too far away from our family. Don’t you worry about me. I want to be baptized in the faith. Just not yet.”
“Okay, then.” He gave a nod and reached for his hat. “If you ever want to talk about it, you know I’m a good listener.”
“A wonderful good listener,” she agreed.
“They call me the quiet one for a reason.” He swatted his hat against her knees playfully, then got to his feet. “Kumm. I need you on my team in volleyball.”
After two rounds of volleyball, the players were about to switch teams when Ruthie marched out from the kitchen, her skirt flapping behind her. “The cake’s done. Mary says anyone who wants a piece had better get it now. It’s going fast!”
Ben tossed the ball to his brother. “You pick the team. I’m going for cake.”
“I’m going, too,” Abe said, dropping the ball to the ground.
“Game’s over,” Gabe announced, kicking the ball straight up, then boosting it again with his knee.
Leah and Jonah were already crossing the lawn, heading toward the house. That left only Sadie and Rachel, who was tugging on Sadie’s elbow.
“Quick now, cousin,” Rachel said, grabbing her arm. “Before they come back and make us play five more rounds, let’s find a quiet place to talk.”
Sadie couldn’t help but grin at the amusement on Rachel’s heart-shaped face. “We can hide by the woodshed.”
“The woodshed is good.” Rachel’s sky-blue eyes were lit with mirth. “No one will find us till the first frost of autumn.”
Both girls laughed as they linked arms and passed through a patch of wild clover. With so much of her time spent in Halfway, Sadie didn’t get to see her cousin often these days. There was only church, every other Sunday. Sadie didn’t realize how much she’d missed her until now. “I needed a good laugh,” Sadie said.
“I have plenty of laughs to give if you come around more often,” Rachel said. “Why is it you never visit on off Sundays anymore?”
“You know where I’ve been going,” Sadie said, glancing back at the door of the house to make sure none of the little ones had followed. Rachel was one of the few people she had confided in after Frank had so boldly begun courting her.
“The Englisher boy.” They had reached the woodpile, and Rachel sat on the giant stump used for splitting wood. “You do like to push the rules. Has he won your heart yet?”
Sadie wished she could say that was true … or did she really? Did she want the Big Love so badly that she would really like to lose her heart to an Englisher boy? When she had first met Frank, there was a certain attraction in breaking the rules. Maybe she had wanted to rebel. But she’d gotten past that now. “These days it’s not Frank winning my heart as much as all the things he’s done for me. I told you about the band, ya?”
As Rachel nodded
encouragingly, Sadie sat beside her on the fat stump and told her everything … about the band, about getting fired from her job, about sneaking to rehearsal, about the wonderful way she felt when she was singing with the group of talented musicians.
“So it’s the singing that’s become important to you,” Rachel said.
“It’s always been a part of my life. Mamm always sang us lullabies.”
Rachel’s eyes narrowed. “And your mamm had a beautiful voice, too. I used to love sitting near her in church.”
“I’ll never forget Mamm’s sweet voice.”
Rachel gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “And you miss her.”
“I do. She always told me that Gott had blessed me with a special gift. I keep wondering if Gott means me to do something with that gift.”
“You know I’ve been feeling the same way, but not about music.”
“About your art,” Sadie said, thinking of how her cousin had created lovely landscapes and paintings of Amish scenes since she was a little girl. One Christmas Rachel had received a set of watercolors as a gift, and a true talent had blossomed from those small plates of color. So far, the bishop hadn’t raised any objections, though Rachel had been warned not to illustrate Plain folk. It was all right to show a hat on a table or a quilt hanging on a clothesline, but Rachel was not to reproduce images of the Amish.
“My painting. I’ve been staying up late every night working on watercolors. Last week I slept right through the morning milking. At first Mamm thought I was sick, but when she found out what I was doing, she gave me quite a tongue-lashing.”
Sadie could imagine Aunt Betsy giving her daughter a good talking-to. Betsy was a kind woman, but she kept a close watch on her children.
“Aren’t you a little old for a scolding? You’re eighteen now,” Sadie pointed out.
“All the more reason that I should be responsible, Mamm says.” Rachel’s pretty pink lips curled down in a frown. “She says I’ll have to give up my painting once I start the classes for baptism.” Her eyes were round as quarters. “I don’t know if I can do the classes if I have to give up my painting.”
“I’m in the same boat.” Sadie clutched her cousin’s wrist. “I’m not ready to join the church if I have to give up something that is this important to me.”
Rachel’s blue eyes were unwavering. “So what are we going to do?”
“I don’t know.” Sadie wiped her moist palms on the skirt of her dress. “But I do know that if we don’t start those classes, there’s going to be a lot of disappointment around here.”
The next day, Sadie put her worries aside as she helped Mary prepare the meal for Easter supper. After a morning of baking, with Mary making shoofly pie and Sadie mixing and kneading bread dough, they worked in tandem glazing a ham that Uncle Nate had brought yesterday. They baked stuffing, as well as potatoes au gratin spiced with winter onions from the garden. From the storehouse, there would be canned green beans, corn, and apple butter for the bread.
And, of course, as they worked, the kitchen was filled with song.
“What should we sing next?” Mary asked as she grated a block of cheddar cheese for the potatoes.
“Let’s do Dat’s favorite,” Sadie said. The small ache inside reminded her how much she missed their parents, despite this sunny April day. Sometimes when Mary moved about the kitchen, pulling a tray from the oven or bringing a dish to the sink, Sadie was reminded of their mamm.
“That’s a wonderful good choice,” Mary said. “Whenever I see a group of sparrows fluttering in the bushes I think of Dat.”
Sadie nodded as she began the song “His Eye Is on the Sparrow.” Although she knew the words by heart, each time she sang it she saw something new in the lyrics. Today the third verse fit her mood:
“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.…
The song reminded her that she could trust in the Lord for the right path, and He would surely ease her doubts and fears. It was useless to worry about her decision not to get baptized. She had prayed about it and it felt like the right choice for now, and the Lord was watching over her.
As they sang their way to a delicious Easter meal, Sadie thought about the rhythm of their days on the farm. From the early rise for milking to the quiet of night when they said their prayers and slid under a quilt, all the King children pitched in to care for the animals and cultivate the gardens and fields that would feed them all. Even as she and Mary tended to their supper, she knew Simon and Gabe were in the barn, caring for the horses. Jonah and Adam would be doing quiet work on account of the day of rest, minding the cows or horses or matters that couldn’t wait. For the others there were chickens to feed, the henhouse to clean, and simple tasks of sweeping and making beds.
Looking out the window, she saw Leah and Katie walking down the lane to the Doddy house garden to fetch radishes for supper. How little Katie loved digging in the dirt and coming up with the prize of a radish! Over in the corral, Simon was training his horse Shadow, while Ruthie reached a fistful of seed up to the birdhouse the family had built last month.
“Would you look at that?” Mary paused beside her, peering out the window. “The mercury hit the seventies. I say we clean up the picnic tables and have dinner outside.”
“That’ll be nice, for as long as the sun stays with us,” Sadie agreed. Five, Remy, and Mammi Nell would be joining them, making the supper a true family meal.
Hoping the warm spell was here to stay, Sadie stepped outside with a broom to start sweeping off the tables. Susie, Sam, and Ruthie were there to pitch in as well. They helped tie down the vinyl tablecloths and tote plates and utensils outside.
Before long they were sitting down to a fine meal under a heavenly blue sky. Adam sat in a folding chair at the head of the table as everyone grew silent for the prayer.
“Here’s a reminder to the little ones.” Adam lifted his chin to look down the table at Katie and Sam. “I know you enjoyed coloring eggs yesterday, but don’t forget the meaning of Easter, the resurrection of Jesus.”
“Amen,” Sam said aloud, and there was a bit of laughter. Gabe clapped a hand on the back of Sam’s neck and gave him a friendly jostle, while the rest of the family settled again.
Then heads bowed for the silent prayer.
Sadie closed her eyes, thanking Gott for the blessing of this good meal. She thanked Him for her family, for the gift of music, and asked for guidance in the coming days. The baptism question still ached like a splinter in her finger, and she hoped no one would mention it at dinner and probe the wound again.
Once the eating and conversation started, she realized there was no reason to worry. It seemed that Adam and Mary had planned to use the meal to make an announcement, telling the family of their plan to have a double wedding in November.
“I knew it!” Ruthie exclaimed, her amber eyes lit with delight. “I knew something was up, with all those celery seedlings planted in the Doddy-house garden.”
Sadie smiled as she passed the bowl of string beans. It was really no secret. With the tragic deaths of Esther and Levi King more than a year ago, Mary and Five had quietly decided not to marry in last year’s wedding season. And anyone could see the love shining between Remy and Adam.
“I keep hearing about the wedding celery,” Remy said. “I know it’s a tradition, but how much celery can a person eat?”
Everyone laughed.
“You’re talking about hundreds of people,” Mary said. “Since it’s a double wedding, there will be more than usual. Maybe four hundred or more.”
“And besides going into a lot of the dishes, celery is always on the tables at weddings,” Ruthie explained. “It sits in a jar of water like flowers, only you can eat it.”
“An edible centerpiece,” Remy said. “Well, that’
s a very practical idea.”
“We’ll need to invite family and friends from near and far,” Mary said. “All of Five’s family, and your friends too, Remy. Do you think your father will come?”
Remy cocked her head to one side, her lips twisted in a frown. “I don’t know, but I’d like to invite him and my stepmother. And my friends from college.”
“Can I come to the wedding?” Sam asked. “I think Katie is too young, but I can behave good and proper.”
“Everyone in our family is welcome,” Mary assured him. “But don’t be talking about it with anyone outside the family. With wedding season still months away, it makes me a bit nervous to speak about the details.”
“Don’t you worry about people hearing the news,” Five said. “The bishop is so eager to see the oldest Kings married, he won’t mind the word slipping out.”
Sadie shifted on the picnic bench, thinking how much things would be changing around here. Mary would be off to live with Five, and Remy would be moving in. Like a mother to the little ones, she’d be. Already she had gained the confidence of the younger King children. It would be an easy change for them, a very good thing for Sam and Katie to have a good woman to take care of them when Mary left.
She glanced across the table at Jonah. How did he feel, with things shifting? Jonah was by no means too old for courting. But despite his regular attendance at singings and youth gatherings, he didn’t have a girl. Sadie wasn’t the only one who hadn’t found the Big Love. At least she wouldn’t be the only lonely heart around here.
“I knew something was going on when I caught Mary sewing a white dress,” Susie said.
“But you couldn’t have been so surprised,” Mary said. “Five and I have been courting for a long time now.”
“Ya, a hundred years at least,” Five teased.
A Simple Spring: A Seasons of Lancaster Novel Page 7
