“Well, that went better than I expected,” his mother said.
He squinted at her. “How did you expect anything? We’ve never talked about this.”
“You’ve hinted around enough, and I could see that you weren’t completely happy working at the clinic. You tried to make it fit, but it was sort of like a bad shoe. You can wear it, but you’ll slog around with blisters.”
“How is it you can see that but Dad still thinks I should suck it up and follow his dream?”
She shrugged. “Everyone has different expectations in life. I think you’re beginning to figure that out.”
“I guess I am.” He thought of Sadie, of her family’s expectations for her to get baptized and spend the rest of her life in the Amish community. And then the expectations of her bandmates, who expected her to be there to front the band, giving up her personal life and creativity in the process. She was in a similar dilemma, though hers seemed impossibly complicated.
“Will you stay at Temple?” Celeste asked. “I imagine they offer a degree in social work?”
“Sure. I can get a bachelor’s in social work. And their MSW program is super competitive, but I might have a leg up with my Peace Corps experience.”
“Fantastic.” She leaned against the kitchen sink. “And don’t worry about your father. He’ll come around. He always does.”
Mike took a deep breath, glad to have that burden gone from his shoulders. A line from the Bible came to mind.
And the truth shall set you free.
THIRTY-TWO
Be sure to hold the reins loose in your hands.” Seated beside her in the front seat of the buggy, Simon was a patient teacher.
Remy loosened her grip on the reins and took a breath to calm her jangled nerves. A bead of sweat trickled down her back as she sat up straight, her feet braced gently on the low front board of the open carriage. She was a novice driver, and she was trying to command a novice horse, Simon’s beloved Shadow, a piebald mare that didn’t have much experience in pulling a buggy. Simon had been reassuring through most of the trip into Halfway, but Remy was acutely aware of the risks of injury if a skittish horse panicked on the road, and all the children in this vehicle were her responsibility.
Behind her, toddler Katie sat between Ruthie and Leah—another thing that rattled her nerves, as the Amish didn’t have sturdy safety seats to strap their little ones into. It all seemed too precarious, but Adam had reminded her that the Amish had traveled this way for many generations, and the culture had survived.
Not without an occasional accident, she had reminded him, though she knew she wasn’t going to single-handedly convince Amish folk that they needed to strap their toddlers into bulky safety seats the size of a baby bear.
“There’s a car waiting behind us,” Leah said from behind.
Remy slowed the horse and waved so that the car would pass.
“He’s not going around us,” Ruthie observed. “Maybe he’s just out for a slow country ride.”
Or maybe it’s the creep who’s been following Adam and me. Remy shot a quick look over her shoulder, and quickly saw that it was a different car. This one was black with tinted windows.
“I guess he doesn’t want to pass.” Remy called for the horse to pick up speed, and the buggy moved along at a faster clip again.
“You see how she listens?” Simon asked. “Shadow’s a good horse.”
“Your training shows.” Remy complimented Simon as she moved the long rein so that it didn’t twist around her feet. They had reached the outskirts of town, and there was more traffic coming in the opposite direction. Soon they would be at the market, much to her relief.
The roar of a gunning engine startled her. Her pulse raced as she held the reins securely, turning to look behind her.
The dark car was passing now. Not good on a busy road.
Shadow whinnied as she slowed her. “Stay steady, girl,” she called under her breath.
Beside her, Simon was peeking around, his face pale. “What is that car doing? It will scare her.”
Remy looked to the side and saw that the car had slowed to match her pace.
“Oh, please …,” she murmured, focusing on keeping the horse steady.
A rear window of the car slid down and a man’s ruddy face appeared. “Remy? Remy, stop the carriage.”
She blinked in astonishment. “Herb? What are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to talk some sense into you. Stop the horse.”
“I will not stop in the middle of the road,” she shouted, turning to look ahead for other vehicles. “This is dangerous, Herb!”
“Well, you’re a hard person to reach. I came all the way out here, I—”
“Herb, you’d better pass me or drop back before someone gets hurt. Go ahead of me. Pull in to the lot at that red barn on the left.”
He looked ahead, frowning. “Fine.”
The window closed and the car accelerated, wheels spinning and spewing gravel behind them.
“Careful …” Simon gasped, touching Remy’s arm as the car shot ahead, cutting in directly in front of Shadow.
Remy pulled back on the reins gently, hoping to avoid contact. Shadow responded well, slowing as the car roared into the distance. “What a good horse,” Remy said. The back of her dress was clinging to her with sweat, and Simon clutched her arm in fear.
Of course … he was probably remembering the terrible roadside incident that had left his parents dead.
“It’s okay,” she told him softly. “That was just my verhuddelt father. He doesn’t mean to hurt us.”
“Are you sure?” Simon loosened his grip. “He’s mad at you. Why?”
“That’s a long story,” Remy said. And to be honest, she wasn’t sure she knew the real answer. Herb McCallister was a successful businessman, owner of the Philadelphia Post and a shareholder in television stations and major league ball teams. In business he was a god, but as a father … well, he had never been there for Remy.
So why was he here now? And having his driver cut them off like a maniac?
“Well, that was exciting and a little bit scary,” Ruthie said. “Is that really your father, Remy? Where is his long limo?”
“Probably in the shop,” Remy said as she steered the horse into the parking lot of the Zooks’ barn where the daily markets were held in the summer. Spotting the dark car in the back of the lot, she guided Shadow that way. She held her breath as the buggy rolled to a stop.
The rear door of the car opened and out stepped her father, looking slightly rumpled in his shirtsleeves.
“Dad!” Remy glared at him. “Are you crazy?”
The children around her watched, aghast.
“Remy, you can’t talk to your dat that way,” Ruthie whispered.
“Oh, yes, I can, when he nearly ran our buggy off the road.” She handed Simon the reins, then jumped to the ground. “What were you thinking?”
“I told Elliot to pursue you aggressively. I didn’t know he was going to make it into a Hollywood chase scene.”
“That’s not a good excuse, or a good apology.” She stepped up to him, face-to-face for the first time in months. She felt like she was staring at a stranger, though the creases at the corners of his eyes and the line of his brow were familiar. “What are you doing here, Herb? You have my address, and you’ve sent just one letter. You refused to see me when I was in town, cleaning out the condo. Loretta told me to leave the car keys under the mat. You wanted nothing to do with me, and yet today you show up and nearly run us off the road?”
“Just because you haven’t seen me doesn’t mean I haven’t kept an eye on you,” Herb said. “I’ve had my guy out here watching, a hired detective.” He put his hands into his trouser pockets and straightened, his chest puffed out. “I wanted to make sure you hadn’t been kidnapped by this cult.”
“No! The Amish don’t kidnap. I’m here because I want to be.” Because I found a home. A love. A Heavenly Father.
“I find th
at hard to believe. What girl in her right mind would choose to give up the good life—all the things I’ve given you—for a life of work on a farm?”
Remy put her hands on her hips. “You know I was never afraid of hard work, and I’ve found something more valuable than any gift money can buy. I’ve found a family here … a wonderful family with children who need me and a good man who loves me.”
A man I love with all my heart, she thought, strengthened by the knowledge that she had made the right choice. “I’ve found a way of life that suits me.”
“Well.” He rubbed his jaw begrudgingly. “I guess it’s good that you’re safe. But I really don’t want you living way out here. I figured the private investigator would be able to get you back to the city.”
She squinted against the sun. “Are you trying to say you miss me?”
“Maybe. I still can’t believe you walked out on such a sweet deal. Your condo, your car … everything was paid for.”
Remy turned to the buggy, where the children were watching, amazed and curious. The sky beyond them was a dazzling blue. The small buildings in this section of Halfway held the quaint, tidy charm of the town, and the hills beyond painted a swath of green over the horizon.
This … this was a sweet deal.
How could Herb not see that?
“Remy …” Katie squirmed out of Leah’s grasp and reached out from the side of the buggy.
“Oh, Katie, don’t jump.” Remy hurried over and whisked the little girl onto her hip, then turned back to her father. “This is an all-time new low, Herb. You could have hurt these children, or worse. As it was, you spooked our horse, and let me point out that you’re lucky she didn’t damage your car, the way you menaced us with it.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” He stepped closer. “Can I help it if my driver didn’t understand what I wanted?”
“Yes, it’s your responsibility. That’s what you don’t get, Herb. Certain things in life are your responsibility and yours alone.” Like being a father, she wanted to say.
“Fine.” He waved dismissively. “If you’re fine here, I’ll be on my way.”
Remy sighed. Although he was petulant and bossy, he was still her father. “Herb, do you want to meet your granddaughter-to-be?”
“What are you talking about? Who, this one?”
Remy stepped closer, little Katie resting on her hip. “This is Katie King. It’s her older brother who I’m going to marry.”
Bright-eyed Katie gave a greeting in Pennsylvania Deutsch.
“What? Yes, hello.” He held a hand out and she grabbed one of his fingers and held on.
“Doesn’t she speak English?” he asked.
“A little. It will be her second language.”
Herb shook his hand, but Katie held on. “Yes, okay, you can let go now.” But she clasped his finger, a hint of a smile on her cherry red lips. Herb huffed out a sigh, then gave his fingers a shake. “Let go. Go. Do you know what that means?”
Katie’s grin lit her face, but she held on.
“She reminds me of you at that age. Stubborn and determined to get your way.” He waggled his captured finger. “You’re going to be just like Remy.” His voice was playful, tender.
And Remy wondered where that Herb had been for the past ten years.
Katie laughed, then turned shy, burrowing her face against Remy’s shoulder.
Stepping back, Remy turned toward the buggy and summoned the other children, calling, “Kumm.” Then, facing her father, she told him it was time to meet the rest of the family.
That night after dinner, Remy sat outside under the stars with Adam and his family. They were missing Sadie, of course, but everyone was beginning to accept that Sadie needed time away for her own personal adventure. Although Remy had heard murmurings from the ever-positive Ruthie, who was convinced that Sadie would make it back for the twins’ birthday and resume life as usual on the farm, Remy could tell from the silences of the older siblings that they weren’t quite so hopeful.
Gabe built a campfire in the pit on the grassy slope near the house, and the family gathered round, toasting marshmallows for s’mores and singing silly songs. Katie and Sam scampered through the grass, leaping to catch fireflies.
Simon appeared and dropped to the grass beside Adam. “It’s too dark to see the Frisbee,” he said.
“Did Shadow recover from her scare this morning?” Remy asked the boy.
“Ya. I think I was more afraid than she was.” Simon leaned over his knees, his hair glossy in the moonlight. “Remy, why was your dat so mad?”
“My father has trouble holding back his temper,” Remy said. “I’m sorry he scared you. He’s not a terrible person, but he wasn’t good at being a father.”
“He’s still your father,” Simon said.
“Ya. And I’m learning to forgive him every time he hurts me.” In the darkness, Adam touched her hand, and she felt a surge of love for the man who sensed when she needed his support. “I wish I had met your dat,” Remy said. “I would like to know what a good father is like.”
“Well,” Simon said, “I can tell you a very good story about our dat. He was the one who taught me how to watch over the horses.”
“And I have a funny story about Dat when he was plowing a field and ran into a nest of birds’ eggs,” Leah said. “He worried so for those eggs! Like a mother hen.”
How wonderful that they remember him, Remy thought.
Under a blanket of twinkling stars, she leaned back on the grass beside Adam and listened as one by one the stories about Levi King spilled forth. She could only hope and pray that one day she would have the chance to witness Adam parenting their children. One day soon …
THIRTY-THREE
As the bus came upon a green sign that read PHILADELPHIA, anticipation swelled inside Sadie.
At last, she would see Mike.
The distant future loomed like a faraway star. But for now, while the band was in Philly, she would take a break from the bus and stay at Katherine’s house. How she longed to cook for the older woman! She would tidy up and share the poems she had come to love in the little red book. And she hoped Katherine would be pleasantly surprised by Sadie’s growing skill on the piano.
And tomorrow, she would return to the church that had opened her heart to this journey. Although music still wrapped around her and held her in its arms, she was learning that it wasn’t just a simple matter of sharing her talent with the world. It wasn’t as simple as having good intentions. The Englisher world was complicated, and some days Sadie realized she had just begun to learn about the wide area of gray that stretched between the clear black-and-white rules of the Ordnung.
It was almost over, Sadie thought with a heartfelt sigh. She had tried to stop counting the days, but each morning when she woke, the new number appeared in her mind, like a promise. The tour would finish a few days before the twins’ birthday, giving her plenty of time to get back to Halfway and keep her promise to Ruthie.
Sometimes it felt like she would never see Halfway again. Every day she was reminded of the many things about her Amish family and the farm that she missed. The quiet breathing of her sisters, close and cozy in their room at night. The mooing of cows in the middle of a hot summer night. The smell of wood smoke and freshly plowed fields and fruit pies cooling on the kitchen counter …
Now that August was just days away, they were deep into the growing season, and when she closed her eyes she could see it all. Peaches, plums, and nectarines were hanging heavy in the trees, and the garden was thick with vines of cucumbers and zucchini. There’d be sweet corn, tomatoes, and lettuce. Oh, the sickening sweet deodorizer of the bus couldn’t spoil her memory of the smell of a summer garden.
She tucked her needle into a patch and put her quilting away. The others were gathered in the kitchen area, watching something on Red’s laptop.
“Sadie, check it out,” Red said. “The video of the band has gone viral.”
On the screen was their band,
standing on a real stage. Someone must have shot it during the tour. Sadie stood in the middle of a spotlight singing “Be Thou My Vision,” and this video wasn’t shadowy or blurred. You could see the details of her face, the creases in her prayer kapp, as well as the logo on the T-shirt she had gotten from Remy.
“Who did this?” she asked.
“Some fan posted it on YouTube, and look at how many hits it’s gotten! This is awesome!” Frank pumped a fist in the air as he moved to the rear of the bus.
Sadie looked on with a mixture of good and bad feelings. Red had shown her YouTube, and explained about viral videos. But she knew what a virus was, and couldn’t think how that could be a good thing. Besides, she was not supposed to be photographed—or at least that was what she’d been taught.
How did she really feel about it?
There would be no bishop scolding her. Not even Adam would see this video, because Amish men didn’t own computers. So why did she care?
She had been questioning many things lately. Even the prayer kapp that had been pinned to her head from when she was a child. It made her feel secure, and she liked the idea that her prayers went straight from her soul to God. But in her heart, she knew that God would hear her whether she wore the kapp or not.
What if she left it off one day, with her long hair hanging in a braid down her back?
Sadie grinned at the thought of how Frank would go crazy. He would have to change the name of the band.
She rubbed her arms, chilled from the air-conditioning on the bus. Did it matter if she wore a kapp or if her image was out there—inside all those countless computers? People could just click on Amish Blues and find her singing. Well, what was wrong with that? She had been called by God to share her gift, and the viral video was now showing thousands of people a hymn that glorified God.
So it was good to have her graven image out there in the computer wires. She was on the right path here, even if the band wasn’t the perfect match for her.
It was right to trust her future to God.…
And try not to be sick about the past.
A Simple Spring: A Seasons of Lancaster Novel Page 28
