by Ruby Dixon
No one touches me, and that’s how I like it.
Chapter Two
SALUKH
I rub a twig on my teeth as I lean against the cave wall and watch the dark-skinned human woman emerge from her cave. Watching Tee-fah-nee has become one of my favorite pastimes since we moved to the south caves, and I know I’m not the only one. I’m just the only one that is subtle about it. Nearby, Taushen jumps to his feet at the sight of her. She smiles at him but it doesn’t reach her eyes. I want to tell him that’s not the way to get her attention, but I don’t want to help him out.
Tee-fah-nee is mine. She just doesn’t know it yet.
My khui is silent in my breast, but it doesn’t matter. It will come around. I rub the stick and continue to watch as Taushen – ever so eager – tries to take the basket from her hands. She shakes her head and says something polite to him, and he wilts. When he returns to the central fire pit, he looks as if he’s been chastised.
Tee-fah-nee hurries outside. I’ll follow her, but in a moment. She needs time to think she is alone. She’s skittish, my woman, but that’s all right. I am a patient male. Tracking my woman is like tracking any prey – it requires patience and persistence in the hunter. It means watching the movements of the hunted, learning their patterns. In the case of the human, it means befriending her and giving her space when others will not. It means keeping my distance.
For now. When my khui resonates to her, I will no longer have to keep myself at arm’s length.
I let a few minutes pass, scraping idly at my teeth and watching my tribe move about the south cave. Aehako’s mate, Kira, is standing nearby with her kit cradled in her arms. The loud one known as Josie holds her arms out for the child and her yearning is written all over her round human face. That one does not hide her emotions like Tee-fah-nee. She wears them plainly for all to see. My mother and one of the elders are smoking meat and making travel rations, and nearby several hunters are sharpening their blades, preparing to go out hunting. With the twelve new mouths to feed – plus the young the caves now seem to be full of – there is more of a need than ever to hunt.
But I have no one to hunt for. Not yet. I am a solo hunter with no cave to feed. My furs are yet in the cave with the other unattached hunters. I will hunt soon…but first I will visit my female and make her feel needed. I push myself off the cave wall and saunter over to Kemli’s side and snatch a square of travel rations. “Ho, mother. I see you are making me food.”
She slaps at my hand like I’m a naughty child. “Put that back. You should go hunt.”
“Ah, but I am on the hunt.” I grin at her and take another bite out of the food. “Just not for meat.”
She rolls her eyes and waves me away. My mother would like to see me mated, I think. Other than my young sister Farli, I am the last to leave the cave. Both of my brothers Pashov and Dagesh mated humans and now have young kits at their hearth. “You cannot have more of the rations, my son. We need them for the upcoming trip.”
I swallow my bite and look to the cave entrance where Tee-fah-nee disappeared a short time ago. If I wait too long, someone’s going to come by and bother her. I need to go soon, but my mother’s words have me curious. “What trip?”
“The human called Har-loh opened three new family caves with her stone-cutter, Aehako says. That means there is room for three families to go back to the main tribal caves. Farli, your father and I are going back. I want to be near my other sons and their mates while their kits are young.” She tilts her head, gazing up at me. “You are welcome to come back with us.”
“Not yet.” I’ll go where Tee-fah-nee goes. If she is not moving back yet, then I will stay.
“Because of the human females?” My mother arches one gray eyebrow. She knows me far too well.
I just grin at her. She knows I stalk Tee-fah-nee, though I have yet to resonate to her. I have staked her out as the one that will be mine. The only thing that remains is to convince my khui that she is mine.
It will happen. I am confident it shall be so.
I lean in and grab one more bite of food and race away before my mother can pull my tail like a naughty kit. She will protest much, but when I leave I hear her chuckle of amusement. I head out of the main cave and step out into the snows, my boots sinking into the fresh powder deposited overnight. It is a light snow for the bitter season, but I know the humans despair of the endless cold. To hear them talk, snow is something that only comes for a few short moons. I snort at the thought. Madness.
Tee-fah-nee’s tracks are deep in the snow, as the small human feet sink deep and most avoid snowshoes unless necessary. She has not gone far, and I follow her trail around to the far side of the cliff walls, where she has been moving plants and lining them up in a row. She says she is fahr-meeng and it will be useful later. I do not know if it is true, but the humans have odd notions, such as eating roots. She is a hard worker, and clever, so there must be a benefit to her strange ways.
I see her kneeling in the snow a short distance away, digging with a stick. From here, I can see the beautiful color of her skin, like the richest of animal hides. Her mane is unusual in that it sprays out in tight spirals like the sweet-weed bushes that grow in rocky niches and make a pleasant tea. I like it, though. She is different but pleasing to look upon, and I like the flash of her blue eyes in her small human face.
I call out as I approach. “Ho, Tee-fah-nee. It is I, Salukh.” I raise a hand in the air in greeting as she looks up and shields her eyes. I am always careful to call out a greeting. Once I surprised her and her violent reaction was alarming. I do not wish to scare her again.
She waves a hand at me.
I head toward her, and as I do, I mentally encourage my khui. There is our mate, I tell it. See how lovely she is? How fragile? I need to resonate for her. I need to claim her, to protect her.
Tee-fah-nee is mine.
Resonate.
Resonate.
Resonate so I may claim her.
But my khui is silent, the traitor, as I walk up to her. Today is not the day, then. No matter. It will be tomorrow or the next. “Enjoying the snow?”
She makes a face at me and shakes her digging stick. “A fuht of it fell overnight and covered my plants. I don’t know how anyone gets anything done around here!”
“Mmm.” I crouch in the snow next to her, studying her set-up. She has a leather satchel full of what looks like dung and seeds at her side, and digs her stick into the snow. “What is it you do?”
“I’m trying to plant crawps,” she says in the strange human language. I learned the human language at the Elders’ Cave, so I can speak to her. The mental picture that springs to mind at the word is of plants grown in specific places for food.
Interesting. I have never paid attention to plants other than to occasionally gather them for one of my mother’s teas. I pick up one of the seeds and study it as she goes back to work. “What is it you do when you plant?”
She sits back and brushes her springy hair off her face. The small move is graceful and makes my cock ache with the need to claim her. Resonate, I demand of my silent khui. “Well,” she says. “Back on Urth, we had fahrms. They grew food for people who didn’t have the space to grow their own. We can make our own plants and store their harvest for the brutal season. I just need to figure out how to make stuff grow in all this snow. I mean, stuff grows in Norway and Siberia and stuff, right? And they grow here. So clearly plants can survive in harsh conditions. But I keep planting seeds and they’re not growing. So I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” Her mouth presses into a firm line.
I pick up one of the dvisti-dung cakes in her bag and examine it. We use them for fuel because wood is scarce further down the mountains. “So you wish to throw dung at them like a metlak?”
She chuckles, the sound sweet and throaty, and it ripples over my skin like a caress. “No. I’m trying to nourish the soil.”
“With dung?”
“With dung,” she agrees. She pul
ls out her digging stick again and begins to dig a hole. “Animal dung has a lot of noo-tree-ents for the soil. At least it did back home. You plant this with the seed and it gives it a boost.” She drops the dung cake into the hole, adds a few seeds, and then covers it with the mixture of snow and dirt.
“I see.” It’s a strange idea, but the humans have many strange ideas. “Do you wish help? I am a strong male and can dig the holes for you.”
“So modest,” she murmurs, her mouth crooking in a half smile as she looks over at me.
I am not modest in the slightest. I am strong and capable. My body is young and healthy. She should look at me with admiration. I pull my leather tunic off and rub a hand over my chest to see if she notices my fine form.
But she does not. She digs.
Humans are frustrating. I will get her attention yet. She can see what a capable, healthy, strong hunter I am and then her khui will decide I am the one for her. I toss my tunic aside and kneel down in the snow, ignoring how it soaks my leather leggings. “How many holes do you wish for this strong male to dig for you, Tee-fah-nee?”
She chuckles again. “Let’s start with twenty, about an arm’s length apart.”
I start to dig for my female. I don’t mind the task. It’s an odd one, but I’m pleased to do it for her. Creating each hole means I must dig down below the layers of snow to the soil underneath and a little further. I’m faster than she was with her digging stick. We pass the time in silence. I don’t mind it, because when I pause to wipe my brows of sweat, I notice she’s watching me. I make sure to flex my arms as I dig the next one. I am like a scythe-beak preening for its mate, but I do not care. I want her to notice me.
When the holes are dug, I grab a handful of snow and rub it over my face and chest, washing away the sweat. She averts her gaze and concentrates on her seeds. “Thank you, Salukh. This went a lot faster with your help.”
Her words are pleased but she looks dejected. Is she sad – as I am – that our khuis are silent? “You do not seem happy.”
She looks up, startled. “What do you mean?”
“I mean your words are nice, but your body says something else. You smile here.” I lean in and dare greatly as I brush a fingertip to a corner of her full mouth. “But you do not smile here.” I tap at her temple, indicating her eyes.
Her smile returns, but it seems more forced. “Busted.”
“Are we not friends? Tell me what troubles you.” I want to take care of it for her. I want to bring the light back to her shining eyes and the smile – a real smile – to her face.
She bites down on her lip and plays with the leather ties to her satchel, then glances up at me. “I’m just upset about the thought of the caves merging back together. I’ll lose my crops.”
“Lies,” I say immediately. She is an expert at fooling others, but not me. “You have no crops. You have dung and seeds. Something else troubles you.”
Tee-fah-nee makes a face at me and throws the bag in my direction. “You’re pushy, you know that, Salukh?”
She does not even begin to imagine how much I want to push her. Or that I want to push her into the snow and cover her body with mine. But we are not mated. We do not resonate. Again, I must learn to be patient.
It is difficult to be patient when the woman I want is so close I can touch her soft skin. When her scent fills my nostrils and makes my body crave her touch. I have not felt so out of control since I was a young kit with my first cock-stand. “I am pushy, as you say, but I do so because I am your friend. Your worries trouble me.”
She relaxes a little and gives a small nod, as if deciding something. “It’s just…okay.” She blows out a breath. “You…have you noticed how things are in the cave?”
“Do you mean, have I noticed that the other males try to get your attention?” Oh, I have noticed. It makes my belly clench with frustration, but I remind myself it does not matter. She will resonate to me and their vying for her favor will be forgotten. “It is hard to miss.”
Tee-fah-nee seems embarrassed. “Yeah, I guess it is. Anyhow, that’s what’s got me all flustered. It bothers me.”
“Bothers you? Are you not flattered? You are the most desirable female amongst both caves. It is natural for males to wish to seek your attention and try to influence your khui.”
They are welcome to try, but they will have no luck. You are mine.
Instead of seeming pleased at such flattery, her eyes well up and she gets a stricken look on her face. She sniffs and then wipes at her cheeks…and grimaces when she brushes away ice.
My heart clenches in my chest. My entire body tenses with fear. This is truly bothering her. There is something that goes deeper than courting games, and she weeps over it? I immediately wish to fix it. I want nothing but her smiles and her happiness. My entire body fills with fury that something has upset her.
“What is it?” My voice is a near growl. I clench one hand around my lashing tail to still it. I don’t want her to know how upset her tears make me.
“It’s just…” She pauses and rubs at her cheeks, brushing away remnants of the tears. “When I was taken captive by the others…things happened.” Her voice turns to a whisper.
Things? What things? “I do not follow.”
She swallows hard and gives me an uneasy look. “I don’t want to say it.”
“If you do not voice it, how can I help?” If she does not voice it, I will go mad with frustration. I’m selfish, prodding her, but I must know. What things? What things? The words race through my mind.
“On the alien ship.” She says the words very slowly, as if trying to dredge up her courage. “There was no courting. If males wanted a female’s attention, they…took without asking.” She looks away. “I’m afraid it will happen again.”
My head nearly bursts with this knowledge. Fury and outrage wash over me. Males touched her? Males touched my mate? My female? They touched her without her consent? Even Bek, who is the most hard-headed and stubborn of males, never touched Claire without her permission. It is not done.
It is not right.
I stare. For the first time in my life, I have no answers. I have no solutions. I have no words. I am filled with helpless rage and anger.
Someone touched my female and made her cry. Someone took from her.
The urge to destroy with my bare hands has never been so strong. Bile creeps in my throat and I’m filled with the need to hurt those that touched her. To make them suffer. “No one here would do such a thing,” I rasp out. My hand is clenching my tail so hard I am surprised the bones do not snap. I do not care. I am a hair’s breadth away from losing control.
“I know,” she says softly. “But I cannot get over the fear that it will.” She gazes down at her hands in her lap.
I lean down and clasp her hands in mine — and I hate that she flinches. Now I understand, but it does not make it easier. I know why she fears when she is surprised. I know why she holds all at arm’s length. “You must conquer your fear, Tee-fah-nee. You cannot live afraid.” I hold her soft, cold hands. “Shall I chase the others off?”
“What? No. It’s me, it’s not them. They’re just trying to be nice.” She gives me a pained look. “I don’t want to be rude or hurt them. I know they want a mate badly. It’s just…I don’t think it’s going to be me.”
Because you are mine, I want to say, but I cannot. Not now. Not after what she has confessed. She would fear me like the others if I told her of my true feelings. And she cannot be mine until we resonate. That is how things are done. “You will resonate someday,” I tell her. “It will fix things.”
Instead of seeming relieved, she looks terrified at the thought. “And if I do?”
“Then your mate will claim you.”
Her face pales. “I don’t want that.” She pulls her hands from mine. “That scares me, too.”
Helpless, I sit back on my haunches and study her. I understand her fear, but it is not good. Resonance will happen whether she wishes it or n
ot, and the thought of Tee-fah-nee panicking as I try to touch her – because she will resonate to me – is a bad one. “You must be strong and push your fear aside.”
She nods slowly, a thoughtful look on her face. Her eyes fix on me, and she licks her lips. “You don’t scare me, Salukh. It’s because we’re friends. You don’t come after me and shove yourself in my way all the time.”
“I do not,” I agree though I feel uneasy at the direction this is heading. Just because I have been subtle does not mean I want her to mistake my intentions. I want Tee-fah-nee as my mate. I want to resonate to her more than anything.
“Will you…practice with me?” Her eyes are wide. “So I’m no longer afraid?”
I fall backwards onto my rump in the snow, utterly staggered.
What she is offering me…there are no words to describe how conflicted I am. It is what I want more than anything else – to touch her. To caress her and claim her as mine. But…she is terrified of a man’s touch. What if she hates mine? The thought guts me.
Then another, darker thought creeps in. She has not resonated to me. What if I take her to my furs and teach her pleasure…and then she goes to another? What if she resonates to Hassen, or Bek, or any one of the hunters paying attention to her?
I would have the greatest gift in my arms…and then cruelly yanked away forever.
It would destroy me to have her and then lose her.
Yet…how can I refuse her? She stares at me with sad, worried eyes. She does not want my touch, but she does not see any other options.
I have never taken another to my furs. What if…what if I do something wrong? What if I do not please her and make it worse? Resonance ensures that both male and female enjoy joining, but there is no resonance between us. I have no skill in the furs.
I cannot think. There is too much to ponder. I get to my feet. “I must consider this.”
And because I do not trust myself, I turn and walk away.
Chapter Three
