Her hands were suddenly in his hair, gripping and turning his head as she kissed him back.
His leg slipping between hers felt so heady. The firmness of it made everything around them fade to nothing. Then his other leg was there too and her hips were sliding up the car until her legs were practically wrapped around his waist.
He leaned against her, pushing against her. Her chest rose and fell from the rushing blood through her veins. Then Cal stopped kissing her… he stopped and put his cheek next to hers… his lips close to her ear.
“There have been a lot of women in my life… temporary women. It is never, ever like this. Never. It’s only like this a precious few times in a person’s life, I think. I also think it’s damn easy to forget that. Please don’t forget this over the next few weeks. Don’t forget that there’s a man in your life who knows you’re a treasure both to be plundered and cared for.”
Ann didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Her voice was husky when she answered. “Plundering sounds really good right now. Tell me more theories about that.”
Cal’s satisfied laugh in her ear was followed by both his hands gripping her hips hard as he pressed his whole body against hers. She heard that frustrated moan again—the same sound one of them had made the first time they’d kissed.
Light, rapid lip brushes peppered her face, chin, and throat as he eased her legs back down until her feet were solid on the garage floor again. Hands ran possessively over her hair and shoulders, travelling down her arms until Cal held only one of her hands in his. He grabbed the keys off the car and tugged her into the house after him.
Not stopping, he headed to the front door, tossing her car keys on the console table in the hallway. He didn’t let go of her hand until he was standing outside on her doorstep.
“Lock up after I leave,” he ordered. “And don’t fall in love with some rich guy before I see you again.”
Ann didn’t speak, didn’t nod, didn’t react. She just watched the man who’d set her body on fire start his father’s freaking work truck and drive away from her.
Cal had now done the unthinkable. He’d frustrated her to a point where she was as grumpy as Georgia Bates.
Ann suddenly had a driving urge to make sure her friend suffered equally. Evil thoughts blossomed about how to achieve that goal. It wouldn’t make Mariah happy with her, but it might be worth it for the revenge.
Normally, she wasn’t a person who sought revenge, but she was facing yet another sleepless night because of this dating stupidity she’d agree to. She wasn’t a two-timer or a cheat, but the dating mess was making her feel like one.
“Don’t fall in love,” she mocked, closing the door and throwing the deadbolt.
The very fact that she was tempted to call his father and make Cal come back irritated the crap out of her.
She hadn’t played this physical torture game with her husband. When she’d wanted him, she’d just always said so. That life decision was now completely validated by her irrational anger over Cal leaving her in this churned up state. She promptly decided there was nothing in the world worse than being over fifty and horny.
If she’d been her daughter’s age, Ann might have wondered if it was far, far too late for Cal’s warning about not falling in love. But she wasn’t Megan and she wasn’t young. She was a woman who should know the difference between sexual desire and love.
But oh how she was tempted to let herself believe sexy Cal was offering her both.
Chapter Seven
“Ann?”
She looked up into the handsome face smiling down at her. “Yes. That’s right. And you must be Lincoln.”
“Yes, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad to be me.” Lincoln said as he slid into the seat across from her. His gaze lit with pleasure as it roamed her face and hair. “You look just like your picture.”
“So do you,” Ann said honestly… and he did.
She fought the urge to twirl her hair. Maybe because it had taken a long time to fix it for this coffee date. She kept it long because a ponytail or braid kept it out of her face much better. But curls? Curls were not that easy. It was an hour long ritual she didn’t bother with often.
She’d also swiped on some mascara and lip gloss, but that was just because she knew Lincoln had seen her with all the heavy goop on in the video. This kind of worry about her appearance was precisely why casual dating held so little appeal. It was hard work to be attractive. Few men sufficiently appreciated it.
“Let me get some coffee. Can I get you something fresher?”
Ann held up her cup. “No, I’m fine. Thanks.”
Smiling, he headed to the counter to place his order. Lincoln was exactly as Mariah had described him. He was taller than her, incredibly handsome, and just as nice as Mariah had said he would be. Unfortunately, she felt nothing in his presence except misplaced guilt.
She couldn’t cook dinner or drink a beer without thinking about Cal. She’d relived the whole kissing by the car thing so many times that her body had started finishing it in her dreams—several times in fact—something that still embarrassed her.
Her face was flushed with her wicked thoughts about Cal when Lincoln Walker came back to the table. She smiled at his look of concern. “Sorry,” she said, fanning herself. “It’s a…”
Ann caught herself just before she lied and said ‘hot flash’. The truth was worse than even such a comment in front of a strange man would have been. Blunt she might be, but she wasn’t completely without filters like Georgia. She knew you couldn’t tell one handsome man that another handsome man was making love to her every night in her dreams.
“It’s a woman thing,” she told him, with at least a semi-honest, apologetic tone.
“Ah…” Lincoln said with a grin. “Want to go for a balloon ride and cool off? I know how to catch the best breezes.”
“Cooling off sounds very nice,” Ann said, thinking of Cal again. What was wrong with her?
“It’s a date then,” Lincoln declared.
Smiling on the outside as she sighed on the inside, Ann nodded reluctantly. “Sure. It’s a date,” she repeated.
Ann pouted as the three of them sat on the plush, leather stools surrounding Trudy’s granite island. She watched her retired chef friend dish up some sort of slaw, sliding the small bowls across the granite surface when it was done.
“Eat that and hurry,” Trudy ordered. “Crab cakes suck when they dry out. No amount of roulade will save them, not even my special recipe.”
“You have a special recipe for everything.”
A surprised Trudy glared back over the comment.
Embarrassed by the escaped snarkiness, Ann turned and glared at the two giggling women who weren’t being helpful at all.
“Looks like somebody’s seriously churned up,” Georgia said, chuckling around a mouth full of slaw.
Ann hated herself more when a proper stare down proved impossible. Georgia was in rare, impenetrable form today. “Anybody ever tell you that you laugh like the wicked witch of the west?”
Georgia laughed at the accusation… and even louder.
“Somebody’s churned up.” Mocking Georgia’s taunting tone was fast becoming a bad, bad habit Ann wasn’t sure how she was going to break. “Well, for your information,” she spat out in defense, “I am not churned up. I’m just… torn.”
Georgia swallowed and looked at Trudy. “My bad… Ann’s torn.”
Trudy covered her mouth with a hand to hide her smile as she turned back to flip the crab cakes sizzling on the griddle.
All Ann could do was frown as the epiphany came slowly, but at least it did finally come. Realizing you’re acting idiotic is a hard thing to accept. Admitting it to your know-it-all friends is a far worse fate. Lusting for Cal was now making her growl and snipe at her friends.
“Must you always mock my pain and agony, Georgia? You’re the reason I’m in this sorry state. I hadn’t even thought about men or dating until this whole thing with
Mariah’s business. I blame you for my insanity.”
Ignoring all my complaining and Georgia’s happy laughter, Trudy dished up the crab cakes, drizzled something amazing over them, then spooned a melon compote on the side of each plate. Another drizzle from a different bottle and the plates slid in front of us.
Trudy slid her own plate down the granite surface until it stopped in front of my seat. The best chef in Cincinnati leaned on the counter so she could look me directly in the eye. It was almost worse than facing off with Georgia. Almost.
“What’s the story, sweet cheeks? Don’t leave out any dirt,” Trudy ordered.
Ann’s frustrated groan over having to politely answer the person feeding her elicited an empathetic sigh in response from sweet Jellica. It, of course, elicited another old hag chuckle from Georgia, who was finishing up her slaw like she hadn’t eaten in weeks. She gave them both the evil eye. They deserved it. In the end though, all the frowning and glaring only made them all laugh harder at her.
Frustrated completely, Ann turned back to Trudy. “I like the man Mariah fixed me up with. He took me up in a hot-air balloon. It was the most fun I’ve had in ages. Lincoln was great.”
Trudy stopped eating and stared. “But…? I could swear I heard a but in there.” She turned to Jellica and Georgia. “Did you hear it too?”
Their traitorous nods had Ann sighing louder. Her head dipped to her chest as her eyes closed. “But he’s not the guy I want to sleep with,” Ann admitted.
“Guys as in there’s more than one? You mean, Mariah’s fixed you up with two guys already?” Trudy asked, sounding intrigued about the possibility.
Ann’s hand lifted and waved in denial without any prompting. The debate that had been raging inside her head was now completely out on the table… or in this case, out on Trudy’s granite countertop. The crab cakes tasted like sand. She knew Trudy was going to kill her for not properly appreciating her food when she realized what a bad guest she was being.
“No. Mariah’s just set me up with the one date so far… but yes, I do have a second date, a dance date… well, that’s not the same really. No. No. You see… I think I’m falling in love with my handyman’s son who’s way too young for me. Only, I don’t know for sure because it’s been over thirty-five years since I was interested in a man like this. Not wanting to deal with this internal drama is precisely why I haven’t bothered in the last decade. As bad I hate admitting it, Georgia’s right. I am churned up, but I don’t like myself in this condition. I don’t want my life to change. Why should it have to just because I want sex again? I’ve been fine without sex for years.”
Silence filled the kitchen at the end of her self-pitying speech. Mortified, Ann shook her head and lowered her gaze. Trudy reached over and pointed to the plate of barely touched food.
“Eat your crab cakes, honey. They’re getting cold.”
Ann sighed heavily. “They’re wonderful… good as always. I’m just not very hungry today.”
Trudy lifted a bite on her own fork, then paused. “Maybe you’ve just got the hots for the kid who made you horny. I think you need to sleep with him and get it out of your system. Every single older woman eventually has a fling with a much younger man. How old is he? Twenty? Thirty?”
“He’s forty-three and retired from the military. He’s working with his father to help out.”
Trudy blinked, then laughed. “Forty-three and retired? That’s not a kid, honey. Damn… maybe you are falling in love.”
Georgia huffed. “No. Ann is not falling in love. She’s just deprived. She was ogling Mariah’s new beau while we were getting our hair done. Her hormones are doing the mambo. That’s all.”
Ann shook her head. “I was not ogling. I was joking with Mariah.”
“She was staring at his ass,” Georgia said with an eye roll. “And I happen to know that John’s older than Ann’s boy toy.”
“Cal is not my boy toy. He’s not my anything.”
“Yet,” Trudy said.
Ann released an exasperated sigh over hearing the same word Cal had used. “I’m trying not to act on this insanity. I’m trying to be logical about our attraction to each other. Lincoln is closer to my age. Why couldn’t he be the one keeping me up at night? He’s fun, successful, and interested in me too. Why can’t I feel like this about him?”
Jellica, who’d been silent up till now, stacked her empty plates. “Ann, all that’s really happening here is your repressed libido is waking up. A decade is far too long for anyone to go without sex. I went six years once. It was like being a virgin again. There was even some discomfort with penetration no matter how much I wanted it. You really do lose a lot of muscle tone in your vagina when you abstain for too long.”
“Unless you Kegel,” Georgia added, her gaze taking in the whole group. “I Kegel every day. Hell, I’m probably in better shape down there than I was in my thirties.”
Everyone snorted at Georgia’s bragging, but we also knew she meant it. Kegeling was a helpful exercise, and not a luxury for those of us over a certain age who planned on someday having a regular lover again. There was an unfortunate truth to the ‘use or lose it’ claims.
“I’m not worried. Sex with Cal never hurt in my dreams—not once.” Ann’s face flamed when she realized that she’d actually been foolish enough to admit that out loud. “That doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with him.”
Hysterical laughter filled up the kitchen.
Chapter Eight
“Thanks for seeing me,” Ann said.
Mariah smiled and motioned to the seat. “How did things go with Lincoln?”
“He was just as nice as you said.”
“But…?”
Ann threw up a hand. “It’s enough to make a good woman swear. Am I really that transparent?”
Mariah laughed. “No. I’m a trained listener for what’s not being said. Was the chemistry missing?”
Reluctantly, but being an honest person, Ann moved her head up and down.
Mariah shrugged. “It’s okay. Lincoln said he had a great time too, but even though he didn’t say it, I got a sense of him realizing the right attraction wasn’t there for him either.”
“Thank God,” Ann said sincerely, lifting her hand to her chest. “The guilt was horrible.”
“Guilt?” Mariah asked, laughing again. “It was a first date, Ann. You didn’t break an engagement.”
“I let him kiss me after our balloon ride. I don’t do that sort of thing—not usually. Mostly I was just being polite. But the kiss was… perfunctory.”
“Perfunctory?” A grinning Mariah repeated. “It’s so much fun having educated clients. They come up with so many clever ways to tell me a date was disappointing.”
Ann sighed. “My lackluster reaction to someone as great as Lincoln is not amusing to me. I feel awful. Lincoln spent all that money to meet me.”
“Well, stop feeling bad. He spends more money every month on his private gym membership that comes with trainers who keep him in that great shape. Lincoln is just fine, Ann. I’ll eventually come up with someone right for him.”
Ann nodded, but she was still unconvinced… and still not able to stop thinking about Cal. She wanted to ask him to come over just to see if his kiss still had the same devastating effect. But that would be counterproductive when she was trying to convince herself her reaction was about her and not about him.
Maybe she just needed more dating practice. More dates might help her develop some objectivity. Maybe an older, more appropriate man might stop her from dreaming about making love with a too young, inappropriate one.
“Can I try meeting someone else in that group of guys?”
“Sure. I still have your folder here at my desk,” Mariah said, opening a drawer.
Ann bit her lip as Mariah pulled out another sheet from the stack and handed it over.
“This is Greg Skyler. He’s an accountant with his own business. He practices Tai Chi and meditates. He likes rock climbing and hi
king. You’re a great match physically. He’s in his late-forties—so just a few years younger.”
Pulling the bio sheet closer, Ann studied the man’s happy blue eyes. “He’s just as good looking as Lincoln.”
“Yes. Why do you sound so sad about it? Don’t you want someone as attractive as you are?” Mariah asked, letting her concern show.
Ann’s head whipped up. “You think I’m as attractive as all these men?”
“Of course I do,” Mariah said firmly. “I take every detail into consideration.”
“Sorry,” Ann said, feeling humbled by Mariah’s confident answer. “Who knew I’d be having self-esteem problems at my age? I was perfectly fine until I started dating.”
Ann was silent for a moment as she studied the photo, but the weirdness of it all got to her. “Why do intelligent women let men twist their insides into knots?”
“Because men give us orgasms?” Mariah suggested.
Fanning her now flushed face, Ann snorted before answering. “If that was all I wanted from a man, I don’t think I’d be having all these misgivings about the handsome ones. I’m still trying to find the most suitable companion to sit across the dinner table.”
Mariah smiled warmly. “That’s a perfect way to look at dating. A suitable companion is exactly what I’m trying to find for everyone in my database. Orgasms are just an important perk.”
It was still daylight when Ann got home from her dinner date, but only because she’d pleaded a headache and left right after eating. She had let him kiss her before they parted, just to validate her conclusions. Greg was a nice man, and nice looking, but he certainly didn’t seem to appreciate her sense of humor. Her lack of response to his kiss told her everything else.
The hours she’d spent fixing her hair and makeup now seemed excessive for her botched evening out. It was that stupid video and the six pounds of stupid makeup she’d had on in it. With any date Mariah hooked her up with, she felt like she was visually competing with an image of herself that someone else had created.
Never Say Never Page 5
