“Oh, sister, me too!” said Caliburn joyfully.
“The question is, though,” said Perdita, and she stopped dancing. “Who on earth are all these people and animals and magical creatures traveling with you?”
“Well, the humans are Xar, Bodkin, and Wish,” explained Caliburn. “The sprites are Tiffinstorm, Timeloss, Mustardthought, Hinkypunk, Ariel, Bumbleboozle, Squeezjoos, Once-sprite, and the baby. The snowcats are Nighteye, Kingcat, Forestheart. Lonesome is the werewolf. And then there’re the wolves, peregrine falcon, bear who doesn’t like to be named because he prefer to be wild—”
“Most understandable,” said Perdita, nodding her head.
“And finally,” finished Caliburn, “last but of course not least, the giant upstairs is Crusher.”
“This little owl here is Hoola,” said Perdita. Hoola, now perched on Perdita’s shoulder, gave them a stiff little bow and ruffled her feathers at them. “And it’s marvelous to meet you all… Any friends of my brother’s are friends of mine… but what, for mistletoe’s sake, are you doing in this sacred part of the forest? And why were you being chased by that appalling Queen Sychorax, who has clearly now taken total leave of her senses by setting fire to our beautiful wildwoods?”
“Ah yes,” said Caliburn, looking very shifty indeed. “We have a few little problems that we were hoping you were going to help us with, Perdita… You remember the tears of the Drood that you gave me twenty years ago? I was hoping you might give me a few more…”
“Whaaaatttt??” cried Perdita. And then she looked wildly around the room, leaned forward, and hissed. “Sssshhhhhhhhhhh! What if the pixies were to hear? We’re right next door to the Lake of the Lost here. If the Droods were ever to find out that I had gotten hold of any of their tears I would not only be out of my job, but they would absolutely KILL me! They’re awfully touchy about their tears.”
“Yes, I know,” said Caliburn gloomily. “The Droods found out I’d been using their tears in a spell when I was the Wizard Pentaglion, and that’s why they turned me into a raven.”
“The Droods found out you had their tears?” gasped Perdita. “Oh my goodness, brother, you really are lucky that you didn’t end up as a cockroach!”
“So if you DO happen to have any more of the Droods’ tears, Perdita, somewhere in this study of yours,” said Caliburn in a wheedling sort of voice, “you’d be much better off giving them to US… We can take them off your hands…”
“I may still have a few left—I need them for some of my trickier spelling—but I absolutely can’t put a dangerous ingredient like Droods’ tears into your hands again,” sniffed Perdita. “I’m already regretting giving them to you once… I’m certainly not going to make the same mistake twice.”
“I thought you might say that,” said Caliburn sadly. “And what about the scales of the Nuckalavee? Do you happen to have any of those?”
“The scales of the Nuckalavee????” gasped Perdita, even more horrified than she had been when Caliburn talked about Droods’ tears. “No, I don’t have any scales of the Nuckalavee, brother! Worse and worse… Nuckalavee scales are deeply powerful Magic and only a MAD PERSON would go on a quest to get the scales of the Nuckalavee! It’s almost certain death… What on earth have you gotten yourselves into? Why do you need these terrible ingredients anyway?”
“We’re trying to make a spell to get rid of Witches,” explained Caliburn.
“There is no spell strong enough to get rid of Witches,” said Perdita.
“We think we’ve found one,” said Caliburn. “If you can’t give the Droods’ tears to us, will you let us stay here and train ourselves up so we can go on a quest to get them ourselves?”
“Hang on a second,” said Xar suspiciously. “What do you mean, ‘train us up’? What is this place, anyway?”
“This is Pook’s Hill, the Learning Place for Spectacularly Gifted Wizards,” said Perdita.
“A learning place is just a fancy name for a school!!!!” said Xar in horror. He punched the air in panic. “I’ve been tricked! Let me out of here! I HATE SCHOOLS! THEY SHOULD BE BANNED! DOWN WITH SCHOOLS!!!!!”
“Don’t worry,” said Hoola firmly. “We will let you out of Pook’s Hill with pleasure. There’s no question of you staying. I am in charge of admissions, and you do not fill any of the admission criteria. You are not spectacularly gifted Wizards. The Wish-girl had trouble with anything more complicated than the most basic of telekinesis. And the Xar-boy looks completely out of control.”
“Yes, but we’re not really a learning place only for spectacularly gifted Wizards, are we, Hoola?” said Perdita persuasively. “You just keep calling it that.”
“It means we get sent more children,” explained Hoola. “Every parent seems to think they have a spectacularly gifted offspring, even though it’s completely obvious that not everyone’s offspring can be spectacularly gifted.”
“ALL children are spectacularly gifted and learning should be for everyone!” said Perdita enthusiastically.
“But the second boy is an actual Warrior!” objected Hoola. “You have to draw the line somewhere!”
“The boy’s ancestors are not the boy’s fault,” said Perdita. “And he will have gifts—we just have to find them. I love a challenge…”
“I’m so glad you said that,” said Caliburn, for he had been wondering how he was going to introduce the exact nature of Xar’s and Wish’s spectacular gifts. “Because the girl and the boy here are more gifted than they may look. Underneath her eyepatch, Wish, for instance, has a Magic eye…”
Even Hoola was impressed by that, and let out a “HOOO!” of admiration. Magic eyes were very rare indeed. Only one or two Wizards every generation have a Magic eye.
“I can’t take my eyepatch off,” explained Wish, “because the eye goes a bit crazy when I do.”
“Don’t worry,” said Perdita. “I can see through eyepatches.”
Perdita knelt down in front of Wish. Wish tried to look at the kindly face in front of her, even though it made her eyes water to do so.
Powerful Wizards are always hard to look at, and Perdita was a good deal more powerful than most. So her face was constantly changing, the outline blurring and moving and hazing, like smoke coming off the sea, and sometimes it looked like she had a lot of wrinkles wandering over her face like the lines on an old map, and sometimes it looked like she was only a little older than Wish herself.
Only Perdita’s eyes stayed steady, so Wish concentrated on those, and it was a moment before Wish realized that the eyes that twinkled at her were ever so slightly different colors… and as Wish carried on staring at the left eye, little spots began to appear on it, like raindrops landing on a lake, and slowly the eye changed to a color that Wish had never seen before, apart from in her own eye when she was looking in a mirror…
“Oh!” said Wish in delight. “You have a Magic eye too! But I would never have even noticed if you hadn’t pointed it out to me…”
“That’s because it’s under control,” said Perdita, and swiftly the eye changed color again, back to something more ordinary.
And then Perdita stiffened. All the joyful delight at recognizing one of her own kind went out of her face in a blink.
And it was because the Enchanted Spoon had hopped up out of Wish’s hair to say hello.
Now that they weren’t in the hurry and scurry of running away, Perdita could get a good look at that spoon and, up close, it was quite clear that it was made of iron.
Perdita turned absolutely white. And then she straightened, and for one second she stood before them as a bear again, roaring, before turning once more into a human. A very grim-looking human. Even her eyes had stopped twinkling.
“She has Magic-that-works-on-iron…” whispered Perdita.
Turning to Caliburn, she said, “Oh, brother, what is going on here, and, brother, what have you done?”
7. Are They in the Learning Place for Spectacularly Gifted Wizards or Are They NOT?
Caliburn had to give quite a long explanation about what was going on, about Sychorax and Encanzo being in love once long ago, and the Spell of Love Denied and everything—I won’t go into it all again, because you, dear reader, know it already.
Perdita was furious. “You mean that’s what you wanted my Droods’ tears for???”
“Yes, but I’d looked into the future, you see, and I saw that a curse would fall on the wildwoods and disaster and calamity would follow if I didn’t stop the love from happening…” explained Caliburn.
“The curse fell on the wildwoods anyway!” stormed Perdita. “And I think what we have here is disaster and calamity in spades. When will you ever learn, Caliburn, to be very, very careful about looking into the future? It can so easily end in tears, and you can’t change it regardless!”
“I know, I know,” said Caliburn, hanging his head. “I really have learned my lesson this time…”
However, Caliburn ended, rather craftily he felt, with “…but the children’s ancestors are not the children’s fault, and you have to admit the girl’s enchanted objects are charming…”
Realizing that it was his moment, the Enchanted Spoon gave a happy little somersault on Wish’s head, and the fork and the key came hopping out enthusiastically, followed by the pins, and they put on a lively little gymnastic display, trying to look cute in order to win over Perdita. The little owl, Hoola, put a wing to her forehead and groaned.
“They’re delightful, you see!” said Caliburn. “Very well-intentioned little enchanted objects… reflecting the character of the girl…”
“But they’re made out of iron!” objected Perdita. “Everyone’s going to be after that kind of Magic! The emperor of Warriors, Sychorax, the Droods and, oh my goodness… the KINGWITCH…”
“And… hang on a second.” Hoola’s head swiveled around 180 degrees, in that disconcerting way that owls are so fond of, to get a good look at Xar. “We’ve heard about the girl’s disastrous, dangerous gift… what’s wrong with the boy?”
“I beg your pardon?” said Caliburn innocently.
“You heard,” said Hoola. “What’s wrong with him? You said he had some sort of gift too…”
“The boy just had this teeny accident with a Witch-stain…” said Caliburn, and again, he went into a long, complicated explanation about what had happened, trying to play it all down, but ending with “He is, admittedly, finding it a little difficult to control…”
“That’s not true!” objected Xar. “I have it perfectly under control!”
Xar took his glove off to show Perdita how brilliantly he could control the Witch-stain, and a green bolt of lightning shot randomly off it and incinerated her chair. Hurriedly, Xar put his glove back on again.
There was a horrified silence.
“Maybe not perfectly,” admitted Xar.
“The spell that gets rid of Witches will get rid of Xar’s Witch-stain as well, though,” explained Wish.
“If it really is a true spell,” said Hoola. “It could be just make-believe… Wish wants so much to find a cure for Witches that she has made up this spell of yours.”
“However the spell was written with MY feather,” said Caliburn. “So it might be a memory of a spell written by MYSELF in a former life, when I was the great Wizard Pentaglion.”
Perdita was impressed. “Yes,” admitted Perdita, “that does mean the spell is worth a closer look.”
“Spelling Book!” commanded Wish, putting up her eyepatch a little. The Spelling Book jumped out of Wish’s pocket and eagerly turned its own pages to the spell to get rid of Witches.
Perdita snapped her fingers. The desk that she had sent flying with her bottom when she was a bear was currently upended, the top against one of the walls, legs stretched out stiffly in the air. The little wooden desk legs softened and waggled as the desk struggled to turn itself upright. With a final heave, the desk tipped itself the right way up, all four legs landing on the floor, and then it scuttled sideways like a crab toward Perdita, coming to a halt in front of her. Everyone had to duck as papers, feather pens, books, and boxes flew through the air and landed higgledy-piggledy all over the desk. A chair scuttled into place just in time to catch Perdita as she sat down.
Perdita knocked once, twice, thrice on the top of one of the boxes sitting on the desk. The box opened, and five pairs of eyeglasses waved their legs in the air and grappled with each other in a tangled and untidy mess.
“Oh!” exclaimed Wish in delight. “Living spectacles!”
The spoon, the key, the fork, and the pins hopped forward curiously, unsure of what to make of these new enchanted cousins. None of them had ever met anyone else who had enchanted objects before, so this was a fresh and fascinating experience.
The spectacles were horrified at this attention, firmly snapping down the lid of their box.
“They’re a bit shy,” warned Perdita, and in response to a quiet word from Wish, the spoon and his companions retreated back into Wish’s pockets and hair so as not to alarm the eyeglasses further.
Slo-o-owly the box opened and the eyeglasses blinked through the crack of the lid, like the huge bug eyes of jungle creatures that had just woken up.
Blink, blink.
Wish held her breath with the effort of trying not to laugh.
Gra-a-adually the eyeglasses climbed over the edge of the box like cautious spiders. Haltingly, they stalked gently forward on their long unsteady limbs, still clearly a bit sleepy, and circled in front of Perdita with tentative daddy-longlegs strides so that she could choose one of them to look through.
“Choose the one with the limp,” whispered Wish. She had already decided that her favorite was a pair of glasses that had clearly been through a difficult time, and had one smashed glass and a stem that had been broken and mended again several times.
“Yes, I love that pair,” said Perdita, “but this time I think I’ll go for… the rose-colored ones.”
“Oh noooooooo…” said Hoola, furiously putting her wings in front of her eyes. “Mistress! Not the ROSE-COLORED ones! When will you ever learn?”
But the four other pairs of spectacles scrambled back into the box, clearly delighted to be able to go back to sleep, and the pair with the pink glass and twiglike stems stalked up Perdita’s untidy clothes onto her face and settled themselves on her nose.
“Let me see now…” said Perdita, adjusting them more firmly and opening up the Spelling Book.
Invisibility is a Magical power to be used with caution, because if you stay invisible too long, it can start to affect your mind in dangerous and unpredictable ways. Here, Wish is using her Magic eye to turn her own hand invisible.
For Perdita, fire represents a source of light and wisdom. The fire that she burns in the grate at Pook’s Hill (or in her own firebox, if she has to travel) is part of a fire that has been burning for many, many years, back into deep and distant time, and therefore she must never let it go out.
Dragons had long ago retreated to the freezing cold of the northern polar regions, but ever since the end of the Ice Age, they had been moving south, and many dragons were now making their homes in the jungles of the wildwoods.
Fluffbuttles are creatures whose innocence and lack of defense methods put them in peril in the dangerous wildwoods. This is not helped by the fact that they have a large and distinctive target mark on the end of their fluffy tails. Werefoxes are their main predators.
“Yes, this is clearly one of our real Wizard spells and it’s an exceptionally powerful love spell.”
“I knew it!” said Caliburn in delight.
“There are five ingredients,” continued Perdita, “and the number five is very important in Wizard beliefs because there are five elements: air, fire, water, earth, and aether. There are five seasons: spring, summer, autumn, winter, and eternity. And there are five directions: north, south, west, east, and center.”
“Why would a love spell work to get rid of Witches?” asked Xar.
“Because Witche
s are the opposite of love, so love may be the only thing that will work against them,” said Perdita. “The five ingredients here are all the ingredients you need for a long and lasting love. Giant’s Last Breath is forgiveness. Feathers from a Witch is desire. Tears from a Frozen Queen is tenderness. Scales of the Nuckalavee is courage. And tears of the Drood from the Lake of the Lost is endurance.”
“The good news is that we already have the first three ingredients…” said Caliburn.
“And the bad news,” said Hoola, determined to look on the gloomy side, “is that the last two ingredients are impossible to get.”
“But you can help us, Perdita, because you’re the best…” Caliburn reminded her, landing on her shoulder and nibbling on her ear.
It appeared that Perdita had a tiny flaw.
“No, mistress, no! Don’t fall for it!” begged Hoola. “Don’t let your brother sweet-talk you again!”
But a small smile had already appeared on Perdita’s face, and her eyes behind the rose-colored glasses began to twinkle. “I AM the best,” admitted Perdita.
“You’re the best! You’re the best! You’re just the most marvelous, magnificent best!” said Caliburn. “And see how you love an impossible quest!”
The human and the raven began to sing together, some old tune that they both knew from childhood.
And Perdita’s glasses rushed to join in the dancing.
We’re the best! We’re the best!
We’re the best! We’re the best!
We’re just the most marvelous, magnificent best!
See how we LOVE an impossible quest…
Make butters that fly! Make sticks that can walk!
Unfeasible mirrors that see and can talk
Lift curses that shrivel and dry up the rain
Knock Three Times Page 6
