But when Lee took the stand and claimed she was unable to swear which night Baird had been with her, then he began to understand. It occurred to him that both women—and for that matter, the judge too, given the swiftness of her rulings—might have joined in a kind of visceral, unconscious conspiracy not so much to save him as to ratify what he had done, each woman affirming in her own way that the time had come to do battle against their common enemy: all the twisted, violent men, all the butchers and rapists and killers.
True or not, Baird found it a pleasant thought. He loved women. His sudden gift of freedom would not have seemed half so precious had he not been able to contemplate spending most of it in the company of women. Yet, at the moment, the women in his life seemed to be walking out of it. Lee was already gone, already across James Street and heading for the police station and whatever career he had left her. And Ellen would not look at him. She smiled at the reporters but continued to say nothing, just stood there watching the street, waiting for Kevin and the car.
For that matter, even Kathy seemed uneasy at his side, probably only because of the crowd still pressing in around them. But Baird recognized that she could have been feeling the first stirrings of revulsion toward him as someone who possibly had taken a life. Yet even in that case, he knew he would not feel remorse or regret, for he finally had come to the point where he understood—where he truly believed—that he had done only what he had to do, no more and no less. He had protected his child. It was as simple as that.
Still holding onto his arm, Kathy looked up at him and smiled. He kissed her on the forehead and hugged her close, reflecting that he could always do that at least.
“Are you okay, Daddy?” she asked.
“I’m fine,” he said.
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A Man's Game Page 33
