by Lund, S. E.
I meet his gaze and his face is paler than vampire-pale, his jaw set. His fists are clenched.
Yes, so now you know. It won’t change things, Eve. I can still read your mind and through you, I’ll know their every move.
I stand up and my knees are a bit weak so I hold out the glass of blood Julien handed me and he fills it once more. I drink that down, needing the blood to continue the healing process. Julien leads me over to the couch and I sit on it, head down and let the blood warm me and its healing properties mend the damage Soren did to me.
When I’m feeling almost back to my old self, when the pain is gone and I can breathe normally again, a wave of emotion fills me. Of course, it’s then that I realize why my mother left me. If she stayed with me, Soren would know everything she did. Soren couldn’t read her mind, but he could read mine.
My mother left me because Soren can read me but not them.
She didn’t choose to leave me because she didn’t care, or because she cared more about her quest to find a cure for vampirism.
She left me because if she stayed, Soren would know everything about her and her quest – through me.
I still feel loss at not being with her for the past decade, but now I start to understand why she let me go. She felt she had to so that Soren didn’t know she was alive.
He must have made me in such a way that he could read my mind and that is why I have been so strategic to everyone.
I am the conduit. I am the one through which he sees the three of them.
It doesn’t matter, Eve. Everything is still the same. You have to help me in order to stop the plague. In order to eradicate vampirism. This changes nothing.
Of course, it changes everything to me. This is why Michel won’t tell me anything. This is why my mother and brother have been kept apart from me. Glee fills me, because now I feel as if I can trust them all. I can let things happen without needing to ask for the truth.
Everything has been done to keep Soren from knowing whatever it is they don’t want him to know.
Don’t feel too smug. You still need me to get what you want.
“We need each other,” I say out loud, not wanting him to think that we are going to be talking intimately in my mind. “As long as you do what you promise, I’ll do what I promise. That’s about as much as we can agree to.”
I’ll let Michel and my mother and Dylan do what they have to and trust that they know what they’re doing. Finally…
It feels like a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. I smile and stand beside Julien. I still don’t know if he loves me for real or if it’s just compulsion, but at least I don’t have all the other things to worry about.
“What are you going to do without Michel?” I ask, turning to Soren, barely able to hide my delight at his plight. “You need a priest to do the ceremony.”
Soren smiles. “Julien will suffice.”
I shake my head and stand closer to Julien. “He’s not a priest. He gave that up centuries ago, in case you forgot.”
I feel smug that Soren is now in a bind. He needs someone like Michel to do the rite.
“Julien was an ordained priest. In case you forgot, Eve, once a priest always a priest, in the eyes of God.”
I frown and turn to Julien. He shakes his head. “I’m not a priest, Soren. I’ve broken every vow a thousand times. I don’t really feel it any longer – a calling. I stopped feeling it when the Pope went against my father. That was eight hundred years ago and nothing has changed.”
Soren walks over to Julien and grips Julien’s face between his hands. Before I can respond, Soren meets Julien’s gaze and although Julien struggles to pull away, he can’t.
“Julien, you feel love for the Church once more. Your utmost desire is to become a priest once more. You can’t wait to put on your vestments and say mass with me tonight. Do you understand?”
Julien is helpless to refuse.
I stand helpless while Soren compels him to love the priesthood once more. I can almost see it in his body as he acquiesces to Soren’s orders, his body slumping a bit, his face relaxing. There’s this look in his eyes as if he’s had an epiphany.
I clench my fists but there’s nothing I can do. Soren is the most powerful of all the Ancients and he can compel any ordinary mortal or vampire. Julien is like putty in his hands.
Soren releases Julien and I can hear Julien’s intake of breath, as if he’s been inspired.
“When do we start?” he asks, impatient to go and do this resurrection.
Soren smiles and glances over at me. “Like putty, Eve.”
Soren turns back to Julien and looks him up and down. “You need vestments. White, of course. And a nice thick cross made of wood, I think. That will be a nice touch.”
Soren snaps his fingers and one of the guards leaves the room. I assume he’s going to get some vestments for Julien, who stands quietly, watching Soren like he’s waiting for his next orders.
I grit my teeth, hating this but there’s no sense in fighting now. I have to do my part, help Soren resurrect Procel. Then, I’ll at least know whether he was telling me the truth about no killing.
My heart rate is still a little elevated by the news that Soren can’t read Michel and my mother and Dylan after all. They were right about themselves, but wrong about me.
This changes everything.
Not everything, Eve. You still have to help me if you want the plague to stop. You still have to raise them all before I’ll use my powers to end vampirism.
You still have to comply.
“I’ll comply,” I say out loud.
“Good,” he replies.
The guard returns with a set of vestments on a hangar laid carefully over his arm. Julien seems eager to get them on and takes the clothes from the guard. His expression is reverent and I wonder what he would be like as a priest. What happened to him, way back when, to turn him against the Church? Was it really the Cathar battle that made the difference and separated the two brothers?
It must have been heartrending for Julien to have made his break from Michel, after going to seminary together and after protecting each other all those years.
Of course, I think about Michel and wonder where he’s gone…
And why he’s gone. I hope it wasn’t anything I did. Perhaps he was planning on leaving – he did say he wouldn’t comply with Soren. I thought he was just being dramatic.
I imagine he’s gone to meet with my mother and Dylan so they can plan something. I can’t imagine that either Michel or my mother will let Soren gain power. There must be something in the works.
But Dylan… he wants his sister back. Soren has him by the heart and so I doubt he’ll truly be helping in any plot against him. At least, not until he has Sarah back alive.
Julien finishes dressing while Soren and I watch, and then he stands before a mirror and runs his hands over his hair, which has grown a bit longer since the first time I met him in the coffee shop. He looks more like Michel now.
With the vestments on, he looks even more like his brother.
“Let’s go,” Soren says, his voice impatient. He rubs his hands together and glances over at me. “You can come with me,” he says. “Julien will go in a separate vehicle with Procel’s containment. I want you by my side, Eve. The masses will be happy to see you and me together.”
I nod without replying. I hate the idea of this performance, but my end game is to stop the plague and end vampirism. That’s the greater good and so I have to cooperate with Soren, I have to trust Michel and my mother to find a way to stop him from being some kind of angelic tyrant.
I’m crushed, Eve, that you think I’d be a tyrant and not a benevolent dictator…
I glance at him and he’s smiling.
Chapter 114
We leave the house and go to the driveway, where his vehicle is waiting. The guard opens the door and Soren waves me in. I slip into the seat in the back and he slides in beside me.
When the car drives off, I
sigh.
“You have to know that people won’t want you to have too much power and rule over us like a god,” I say, not caring that he knows what I think. He has access to my every thought so I might as well be open.
“I know,” he says, glancing out the window of the vehicle as we drive down the street. “I’ll be there for religious purposes, not to run their lives. But religion will once again play a more central role in the day-to-day life of the people. I’ll see to it.”
“Why?” I ask. “So you can have more power? Is power that important to you?”
He turns to me, an expression of tolerance on his face. “People need to have something to believe in. Death is such a scary prospect. That’s my role. I’ll be their focus. A pope is a mere human, but I’ll be a true god.”
“Not a god,” I say, stubborn. “Truth and reality are better than myths and fables,” I say, atheist to the end.
“Oh, such a Doubting Thomas,” he says and touches my cheek. I pull away, not wanting him to touch me or show me any affection. “You may not need religion, Eve,” he says and sighs. “But I guarantee humans need something. Without God, they’re lost.”
“They need knowledge so they can make the right choices,” I say, unwilling to concede anything to him about religion. “They have to come to some kind of peace with life. God doesn’t have to be part of that.”
“Such a hard heart,” Soren says, shaking his head at me. “Can’t you feel sorry for the poor mortals who must face their own deaths? They need God to get them through their days.”
I don’t say anything. I know it’s hard to face mortality. But I was never one of those who wanted to hold onto some fantasy of another life after this one as a way of consoling myself. I just couldn’t believe in one.
“I don’t think people should believe in fantasies.”
He sighs and watches out the window as we drive through the streets, which are growing darker by the minute as the sun sets. The streets are really dark now with no power to the street lights. Occasionally, I see a hint of light in a window, in a storefront, or in one of the buildings. People using candlelight like we used to a century earlier. This is what we’ve come to – living like we did before electricity.
Some of the better connected people have solar panels that were produced by Blackstone’s scientists and are unaffected by the plague, but most are reduced to burning wax candles, or wood for their light and heat.
I’m one of the lucky ones, who lives in Soren’s compound where there is both heat and warmth and food. I wonder how many people have died because of the plague.
Some died right away, due to the loss of electricity – like Sarah. Some died when vampires started to hunt again with no restraints to hold them back. Others have died in street battles over resources.
I don’t want to be a part of any of the deaths and violence, yet I was one of those who led to the deaths of dozens of people.
“Are we going back to the cathedral?” I glance around, trying to get my bearings in the dark but it’s hard. I don’t recognize this part of the city. “I’d think people would refuse to come to the cathedral, given what happened before.”
“No one knows about what happened before,” Soren says quietly. “Their families think they were caught outside the plague zone and they’ll meet up again, once the plague stops – or should I say, when I stop the plague for them.”
He turns to me and smiles.
“So you compelled their families?”
“I couldn’t let it get out that there was any death connected to the resurrection of my brethren. They’ll forget all about their family members once the plague has stopped. To them, it will be a given that they must have died in the aftermath. They’ll all feel sad but they’ll come to mass and feel better after, their sadness waning with each passing mass they attend, each confession they give.”
I think about those family members and part of me is glad Soren gave them that kind of closure but of course, it does nothing to bring the dead back to life.
“Those people still died. How do you reconcile that?”
“They’ll find their own heaven,” he says quietly. I want to push him, but don’t want to get into a real religious debate so I shut up and we drive the rest of the way to the cathedral in silence.
Once we’re there, I see a stream of parishioners going into the cathedral. They walk right over the freshly leveled mound of dirt that buries their dead relatives. I wonder what they’d do if someone told them – would they scream and flee?
“They’ll never know, Eve. Even if someone told them, their minds wouldn’t hear it. That’s the sweet thing about compulsion. I can compel a person to not hear anything contrary to what I command them to believe. So, if someone told Mrs. Jones that her husband was really food for Kael? Her mind wouldn’t register the words, although her ears would hear and her brain would receive the signals. So, don’t go thinking you can tell these people the truth and turn them against me.”
“I wasn’t thinking that. I wondered how they’d respond to knowing they were walking on the graves of their missing family members.”
A guard opens Soren’s door and he slips out and stands on the path leading to the rear entrance to the cathedral. He stretches as his wings spread out behind him and I hear a few ooohs, and gasps from those among the parishioners who are taking the steps up to the cathedral’s ornate entrance.
He did that on purpose, of course. He’s such an attention whore…
“Eve,” he says and his voice is chiding. “The people want to believe. All I do is feed them what they most desire – to see one of God’s angels in the flesh?”
I catch his grin and follow him down the path to the rear doors, where another set of guards stand holding the doors open for Soren.
What a showman.
We enter the familiar alcove and go to the room where we’ll prepare for the ceremony. Julien joins us and my heart squeezes to see him dressed in priest clothing, a white lace surplice covering his white vestments. A large wooden cross hangs around his neck. He really does look like a priest – a devastatingly beautiful priest and I hate that I’m caught up in this religious ceremony when I’m such an unbeliever. At this point, I’ll comply so I can stop the plague.
It’s a small price to pay to end that horror. It may take years to recover, but if we stop the plague before it hits the oil fields, we might be safe.
Julien smiles at me softly when our eyes meet.
“Julien,” I say but he shakes his head.
“Can’t I even speak to you anymore?”
He puts his hand on my shoulder but it’s not like two lovers touching. It’s like a priest trying to comfort one of his flock.
“I have to prepare for the ceremony,” he says softly. “I haven’t done the whole ritual for a long time and I’ll be a little rusty.” He smiles at me, his eyes closing.
Soren comes over. “You’ll do fine,” he says to Julien and claps him on the back. “It’s like riding a bike. Once you learn, it’s in you for life. All you have to do is get back up and ride.”
He turns to me, his expression changing. “And don’t worry your little head, Eve. In my church, celibacy is optional, so you’ll get your Julien back. I need his services for a while, but then he’s yours to do whatever you want with, as long as you cooperate.”
I nod and look in Julien’s eyes, but I don’t see a lover in them any longer. I see a priest who is all about self-sacrifice.
I wonder if Soren will re-compel him to be my lover again. It makes me sad to think of the uncertainty I now must live with, never knowing what is real with Julien and what is false.
Julien goes to the side of the room with Soren and they bow their heads together, while Soren speaks with Julien quietly. Even with my vampire-sharp ears, I can’t make out what they’re saying, because there’s sound coming from the doors which open to the cathedral. A hundred or more parishioners arrive and take their places in the pews and in the background, someo
ne is playing a huge organ.
It sounds like Handel, but I can’t be sure.
I take in a deep breath, trying to remember what we did last time. Michel took a chalice and slit each of our wrists so that our blood mingled, then he took a drink after passing it to the rest of us. It linked our minds and then, the awe that the parishioners felt when Soren performed his works of wonder were fed through me to him. He used that power to raise Kael from stasis.
I glance around and see that Kael has arrived, followed by his own small entourage. He looks well-fed and satisfied, dressed in a long while robe, and while I watch, he flexes his wings. He catches my eye and smiles, his eyes narrowing. He must know that I disapprove of him and what he did when he was resurrected, but I’m glad that he can’t read my mind the way Soren can. I think he’s the most vile creature in existence, the way he gleefully killed all those poor people who came to their church thinking they were going to witness a miracle only to die a horrible death.
Oh, Eve… so dramatic! They will get their reward in heaven.
I don’t believe in heaven. So, of course, I don’t believe they’ll get anything except decomposition into soil and bone.
Soren comes over to me, and grabs hold of my shoulders. “You’ve witnessed wonders, Eve. You’ve learned that there are vampires and angels and resurrection and a power beyond that you can explain. Why can’t you believe in something as simply as an afterlife? There is more to this universe than your mortal physics know. Have some faith that the wonders you have seen are only a small piece of the puzzle.”
I shake my head. How I’d love to believe there was something – some existence after death – but I can’t. It’s worms and earth and dried white bones polished by time, that are eventually petrified and will become a future archaeologist’s objects of study.
That’s as far as I can believe.
“Such a limited belief system is science.”
Soren seems truly sad that I can’t believe and his eyes have this expression I find condescending. Like I’m a child and he’s an adult, tsk tsking that I still believe in Santa Claus. Except to me, it’s the other way around.
