by K. L Randis
“It’s not about changing Jared, relax. You don’t need to change for me, I love you just the way you are. That’s what I meant.”
Jared opened his mouth to respond when his phone went off. Jared flipped the face of the phone upward.
Rick.
Jared had called him a few hours earlier so they could meet.
“Got to go, don’t wait up,” Jared called over his shoulder.
As he drove to meet Rick he thought about what Tina was saying. He could change if he wanted to, even if she didn’t believe it. There was never a reason to be clean before. His friends and girlfriends always did it with him. There were the handful of people who bounced through his life that would go off to college or find a job outside of the state after years of drug use. Sometimes he would see them on Facebook with their families and jobs, smiling at the camera like they didn’t have a past they were trying to cover up. He also knew that they had secret lives; grey areas of their life that they hid from their spouses in the privacy of their bathrooms or offices. Jared wouldn’t be like that. He would never pretend to be someone he wasn’t just to have the comfort of living a life that met the social norms around him. It was black and white for him; drugs or no drugs. The one’s that tried to balance the two were the ones that took it the hardest when their bubbles popped: Divorces, supervised visitations with their kids, career down the toilet. There was no escaping the choice to go down the rabbit hole.
Hailey was the only exception to that rule. He would have changed for her a long time ago, in a heartbeat. Sometimes he blamed his addiction on her. When he didn’t want to deal with the reality that she had disappeared he would find comfort in his own thoughts when he was high. He wondered what she would think of his new ‘job’ now that he was given a second chance to make things different.
“Who the hell cares, not like she cared about you anyway,” Jared muttered to himself. Promises and second chances were made to be botched. The only promise he ever put stock in was the one he made with Hailey. When he told her he wanted to marry her after high school, he meant it. The ring he gave her weeks before she disappeared had only cost him three hundred dollars but she didn’t care, twirling it around on her finger and making the same promise back to him. She could never wear the ring because of her parents but she promised she would wear it to high school graduation. She promised.
It all changed when she broke her promise. Jared felt invisible, like a part of his life had been stolen from him. He wandered around for months, hoping she would turn up somewhere, anywhere, but she never did. Drugs made him feel whole again if even for a little while. When he started dealing pills he felt needed and valued, and when he launched his own pill ring he was visible again. The whole process came full circle, and now the only promises Jared made were to himself.
He put the car in park after locating the meeting spot and motioned for Rick to join him. He surveyed the wooded area as Rick opened the door to his Honda. Nothing but thick maples and brush for miles, even if someone were to start traveling down the abandoned dirt road the dust cloud that would form as they approached would alert them to any uninvited guests.
“How’s the weather?” Jared asked Rick as he slid into the seat next to him. It was the first question he was told to ask everyone he met until he got familiar with their faces. Dex had informed the Pillbillies that the specific question was meant to show a level of respect to Jared by exposing themselves to prove who they were.
On cue Rick removed his shirt, turning his body to show his branded lower back.
Jared and Rick discussed a few formalities and expectations before jumping into the meat and potatoes of their conversation. Rick was older than Jared expected, maybe thirty-two, and the Glock he had sticking out from under his flannel shirt was noted. He seemed eager to please though and had no issues with Jared showing up out of nowhere to bark orders.
“So how many guys do we have that are working fast food places around here?”
“Got a few managers at places, using it as a cover for their taxes and wives,” Rick said, laughing, “more for the wives than anything. Not sure why they think their husbands make that much as a fast food manager but they buy into it and don’t ask too many questions. It’s paying for their vacations and bills.”
“Right, we’re going to use that,” Jared said.
“Use what?”
“The drive-thru. It can accommodate a high volume of customers, easily concealed if the managers can adjust the cameras and it’s in a public space so no one would think twice about it. A car sitting randomly somewhere looks more suspicious than someone asking for extra packets of ketchup.”
“So what we have customers come up to the counter asking for a burger with Lace?” Rick asked.
Jared shook his head. “Drive-thru only, it’s less cameras to manipulate. We’ll have customers ask for a kid meal with uh, I don’t know, what’s a good code word for a fast food place?”
“Eh, I don’t know, sea salt?”
Jared considered it for a minute. “Yeah, sea salt. Have them ask for it in packet form, two packets of sea salt for two Lace pills. Get it?”
“Yeah all right,” Rick nodded, “kids meal with some extra packets of sea salt. Makes sense because if they run out of supply they can say they’re all out until the next shipment. Makes it flow with the lingo there.”
“Exactly. Same thing for the coffee place then. You have the one manager there, Cole right?” Jared asked.
“Yeah Cole, good man.”
“You said they don’t have their break room under surveillance so to accommodate walk-in’s I want you to use a different strategy.”
As much as Jared hated how Dex duped him into turning his back, he sat up endlessly in the nights following their meeting devising new strategies for distribution. He was back in his comfort zone, taking charge of an empire that needed prosperity.
“What are you thinking?” Rick asked.
“The employees uniforms are too bland to sneak in any product, there’s no aprons or pockets. Have them bring clean coffee cups home at night and when they return in the morning have them carry it back inside filled with Lace. Nothing suspicious about a coffee employee carrying around a coffee cup.”
“Yeah but how would they pass any Lace through the window or counter without it being on camera? We can’t shift the cameras like we can at the other places, they’re the stationary kind.”
“Same way. Have them set up a few cups with lids just outside the scope of the cameras into the break room. Since it’s right off the main food area it wouldn’t look suspicious if they stepped off camera quickly. Make sure they use the coffee cups that have the solid lids and sides, obviously not the clear ones, and they can put the Lace inside. Have the customers order the manager’s special with cubes of sugar. They already serve sugar packets there so specifically asking for cubes will be the word to use. Same as before, two cubes would be two pills and so on.”
“Damn, right on,” Rick said, “so when do we get started with the new system?”
Jared’s personal phone went off as Rick finished his sentence. Jared looked at the screen expecting to see Tina’s name but it was a number not stored in his phone. It was a local number though.
“Right away,” Jared said, “Hang on let me grab this.”
Rick nodded and sat in silence.
“What?” Jared said into the receiver.
“Oh um, I’m sorry, is this a bad time? I shouldn’t have called. You sound like you’re in the middle of something.”
“Hailey?” Jared asked. He motioned for Rick to step outside the car. “No it’s fine. How’d you—?”
“Get your number?” Hailey finished, “sorry, I called Tina for it. I told her that you and Matt really hit it off and thought maybe you’d like to plan some guy time.”
“Oh yeah, Matt was something else all right.”
“Sarcasm noted. Hey, can you meet me? It’s kinda important. I mean I understand if you can’t of co
urse but since I saw you—”
“When and where?” Jared said too readily. He cleared his throat. “I mean if it’s important I can find the time, sure.”
“Thanks. Can you meet me at Chester Park in twenty?”
Jared checked the time on his dashboard. “Twenty, sure.”
“Thanks, see ya then.”
Jared stored the number in his phone under Matt and motioned for Rick to rejoin him. “Sorry, duty calls.”
“Sure. I’ll wait on your call for the first drop and I’ll brief the guys on the new system. Anything else?”
“You’re good. That’s all for now.”
Jared tried not to speed on his way to Chester Park, wondering why Hailey would want to meet him after the other night. She was clearly offended by what he’d said as they said good-bye and he had done it intentionally. She seemed happy and he didn’t want to drag her into his sob story of a life. Matt wore his jeans too tight but could offer way more for her in terms of a normal life. There was so much left unsaid between them for so many years that Jared wasn’t even sure how they would reconnect anyway.
“I don’t even know where to start,” Hailey admitted, dragging the tip of her flats along the sand as she sat on the park swing. “I’m not even sure what’s relevant or needs to be explained. It’s been so long.”
Jared crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the swing set. “It looks like it’s going to pour,” he said gently, tilting his chin to the sky, “maybe you could start by letting me know why you wanted to talk to me before we get drenched.”
“I thought maybe you wanted some closure.”
“I didn’t ask for that.”
“I know,” Hailey said, turned her gaze to the ground. “You never asked for any of this.”
He wished her white jeans and turquoise jacket didn’t accentuate every curve of her body. The highlights that had kissed her hair from the Florida sun had long ago grown out past her shoulders. Freckles danced across her cheeks, proof that she had refused to use sunscreen. She swayed on the swing, pushing her collarbones outward whenever she neared him, creating a shadow that invited his eyes down the side of her neck and to the top of her V-neck shirt. He tried to focus on the resentment he felt towards her instead. “Yeah you just up and left, no explanations, no warning. Not really expecting any of that now. What would it matter?”
Hailey’s face looked hurt. “I don’t know why you keep saying that, that I left. Like I had a choice in the matter.”
“You did. You could have called, wrote, sent smoke signals for all I cared but you didn’t. You just disappeared, leaving me wondering if something bad had happened to you. It killed me.”
Jared squeezed his eyes shut. She always had a way of getting him to open up more than he wanted to. “I mean, it was rough you know? I had a lot of questions.”
“I had a lot going on too,” Hailey said. She let her swing come to a stop, using one foot to mindlessly sway her side to side. “More than you’ll ever understand,” she whispered.
“You’re really going to pull that on me? The ‘I had it worse’ card? What you didn’t enjoy Florida as much as your old man wanted you to? Not enough sun tanned muscle heads for you to choose from?”
“Forget it,” Hailey said, pushing the swing away, “I was just trying to heal old wounds.”
“Well you didn’t,” Jared called after her, “You just opened them. And what for huh? So you could feel better about yourself for leaving me here?”
“I was pregnant!” Hailey yelled, her cheeks wet with tears when she turned around. “Are you happy now? I was pregnant for Chris’sake, and you knew my dad. So no, I didn’t have a choice in the matter. They found the pregnancy test in my bathroom and we were gone three days later. He worked from home so he didn’t care where we moved to as long as it was far away from you.”
Jared was standing in front of her, his mouth open. A knot had clenched in his stomach as he listened. “It was mine?”
“Oh who’s else would it be Jared? Yes, it was yours.”
“What happened? I mean where’s—”
“Good old daddy made me take care of it. He saw to that. They told me that if I ever contacted you again that they would kick me out and I wouldn’t have a place in their family anymore. No college, no home, I’d lose everything. You know that I had plans for my future, our future. I wanted a degree, to be a Vet, I couldn’t just walk away from all that.”
Jared’s heart sank. The whole time he thought she left willingly and wanted to remain missing. He stood there watching tears dampen her face as she looked around waiting for him to say something. There was nothing to say though; words were irrelevant in light of what she had just told him.
She instinctively pushed against Jared when he pulled her into his arms, eventually turning her head and sobbing into his shoulder when she realized he wasn’t letting go.
He would never let go of her again.
The smell of her perfume soothed him as he pressed his nose into the top of her head. She let him hold her, gently rocking back and forth, until she pushed away from him to rub her nose along her jacket as a tissue.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “your shirt is a mess now.”
“I don’t care.”
“What now?” Hailey asked.
Jared’s phone rang in response. He had all intentions of ignoring it but Hailey insisted. “Pick it up, you just started a new job don’t blow it off because of me.”
“I’ll make it quick,” he said bringing the phone up to his ear, “what?”
“Jared this is Dr. Holden, I’m an associate of Dex’s. I need you to meet me at my office in ten minutes, we have a situation. It’s important.”
“You kidding me? Ten minutes?”
Hailey’s head nodded as she mouthed Go to him.
“Yes, we need to meet. My office in town, you know the one?” Dr. Holden asked. He sounded panicked.
“Yeah, I know where it is. I’ll meet you there.” Dex had mentioned one of the family practices in town he used to fuel his inventory of Percs.
Hailey tried to hide her embarrassment as she pushed her sleeve over her face, removing any trace of tears. “Well this seems to be quite the routine. We meet to discuss heavy baggage and you get called into work.”
Jared watched her tug on her earlobe, only mildly aware that she fiddled with the white earrings when she was upset.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Do what?”
“Joke. Change the subject.” He reached for the cuff of her jacket to pull her close again, “You…this…This is important to me. I think we should meet again.”
“I don’t know Jared, I don’t want to mess things up with you and Tina. I didn’t think…I mean, I wasn’t thinking when I just said that. I don’t even know why we are here.”
“Exactly, which makes it all the more important. Meet me again, promise?”
She pushed her tongue to the inside of her cheek thinking it over. “Okay, yeah let’s have lunch. On a day you have off so there are no interruptions.” She smiled.
He nodded, guiding them towards the parking lot.
He watched the blinker on the snow-colored Corolla as she disappeared into the night. His mind was buzzing with questions as he merged onto the main road towards town. If Hailey was pregnant it explained everything and it was a thought that never even crossed his mind. Hailey’s dad hated Jared from the first time they had met, but he never imagined he would intentionally rip them apart.
The family practice was empty as Jared walked up to the glass door, noting that the office closed half an hour earlier. He knocked twice and Dr. Holden appeared in the lobby to let him in. He looked over Jared’s shoulder and rushed him inside, locking the dead bolt behind him.
“Expecting someone?” Jared asked, nervous with his demeanor.
“No, so let’s keep it that way. My office please,” he said, making his way down a hallway lined with examination rooms.
“I want more money, this is getting to be too risky. At first the demand was minimal enough that I could get away with covering the paper trail on writing prescriptions for the Percs but it’s getting to be too much.” He twisted his chubby fingers around a golden band on his left hand. “I have too much at risk here to keep up. The nurses are starting to get suspicious, I think. Something needs to change or I’m out.”
“Woah woah, okay hold on here,” Jared said. “First of all why do you think the nurses are getting suspicious?”
“We have multiple people coming in with cash for the prescriptions. They have no prior health histories, no obvious signs of pain or medical issues. They meet with me for less than ten minutes and are on their way.”
“Yeah, suspicious all right,” Jared nodded. What kind of operation did Dex have running here? He was just asking to get caught. “What laboratories do we have as allies around here?”
“Just the one in Tannersville.”
“The clinic one?”
“Yes. Why?” Dr. Holden asked.
“Okay, okay, give me a second.” Jared fell back into the swiveling examiners chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. Doctors were always the drama queens of partners. They watched way too many episodes of court T.V and thought that the police were always on to them.
“So we do this,” Jared said after a few minutes, “we’ll have our guys go to the lab first to have blood work. We’ll have them use Lace before going in and when the results come back we’ll put some false names on the charts and fax the paperwork to your office from the clinic which will show the Percocets already in their system.”
“Why would we do that?”
“Because then you’ll look like a doctor who is maintaining a patient’s prior prescriptions, not creating new ones. Your nurses will have the documentation in front of them showing that the patients had the Percs in their system before they even set foot in your office.”
