“It isn’t up for discussion,” Monk had told him in such a way that Onyx understood arguing about it was pointless.
“I don’t know when I’ll be able to leave,” he told her.
“I’m not asking, Monk. It isn’t that I don’t want you to come back to Yachats with me tomorrow, but I respect your commitment to helping Onyx.”
“Thank you for coming, Saylor. I mean that sincerely.”
She smiled like she always did. God, this woman. She made his heart do somersaults. They hadn’t said, “I love you,” since the first night, but they showed each other with their bodies.
“I’ll take you back to Annapolis in the morning.”
“That’s okay. Razor said they’d pick me up on the way to the airfield.”
“I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, Monk.”
Their lovemaking that night felt more like goodbye forever than it did “see you soon.” As much as Monk tried to shake off that feeling, it only intensified.
27
“Nervous?” her brother asked when they arrived on the tarmac.
“To a certain extent. Knowing there’s one pilot in the cockpit with me and another in the cabin in case I really fuck up helps.”
Razor laughed and rubbed her shoulders. “You’re gonna do great, like you do with everything.”
“You have to say that, you’re my little brother. And I’m not great with everything. There are things I supremely suck at—like relationships.”
Saylor looked over at her two girls. Being their mother was the most important part of her life. Did having a man in her life really matter in the long run? Her mother hadn’t looked at another man twice since Saylor’s father died.
“Didn’t you just spend a few days with Monk? Is there something I’m missing?”
“Our lives are so different. I’m not sure we have any chance of succeeding in the long term.”
“What happened? Last I saw, you were all lovey-dovey. Do I need to go hurt him?”
Saylor looked around her to make sure no one appeared to be eavesdropping. “He doesn’t know anything about me getting my pilot’s license.”
Razor raised a brow. “Why not?”
She shrugged. “I can’t explain it. At first, I wasn’t ready to tell anyone, I guess in case I failed. Now I’d have to explain why I’ve gotten this far without telling him.”
“This isn’t like you, Sis.”
“I know.”
“Ready?” asked Mantis, motioning toward the plane.
“As I’ll ever be.”
“YOU SHOULD BE A FLIGHT INSTRUCTOR,” she told him fifteen minutes later, after he’d walked her through various system checks.
“I’ve done a lot of training in my lifetime. On both sides.”
“You’re good at it.”
“Let’s see you repeat everything I just showed you.”
Saylor went through the same series of checks Mantis had, and then waited.
“Perfect. What’s next?”
She went through what she’d do next in a smaller aircraft.
“You’re a natural,” he told her.
MANTIS STAYED ENGAGED throughout the flight, letting her figure out certain things on her own, pointing out what Saylor missed, and praising what she did right.
It almost seemed too soon for them to begin their descent; the flight seemed to have gone so quickly.
Once they’d landed, Saylor was giddy. Especially when her girls came running up to her, asking a million questions all at once about what it was like to fly the plane.
“I didn’t fly the plane, Mr. Gehring did.”
“Don’t let her be humble,” Mantis said, kneeling down so he was on their level. “Your mama did a fantastic job getting us home safely.”
She had to admit, few things felt better than seeing the look of awe and pride on her daughters’ faces.
“We’ll be back in the air at zero eight hundred tomorrow,” Mantis told her. “Get a good night’s sleep.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re transporting Doc and Merrigan to DC tomorrow.”
“Are you saying that I’m going?”
“Hasn’t Doc talked to you?”
“No. He hasn’t.”
“Well, my bad, then. I know he intends to, though. With Onyx and Alegria both grounded and…” Mantis lowered his voice. “It isn’t like Corazón was around that long anyway. My point is that Doc is anxious to get you on the payroll.”
Saylor was too stunned to speak. Never in a million years would she have guessed that learning to fly would result in getting a job offer.
“I never…”
“What did you never?” asked Razor. “Did Mantis tell you Doc wants to open a dialogue about bringing you on board?”
“Is he serious?” Saylor whispered. She could tell her brother wanted to make a smartass remark, like both of them were prone to, but instead, he got emotional.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, Saylor.”
“Thanks, Raze. But, the girls…”
“Will get to spend more time with their Ya-Ya.” Her mom had tears in her eyes. “I’m proud of you too, sweetheart.”
As good as it felt to have her family’s support, it would’ve been so much better if she could call Monk and give him the news. But she couldn’t, because she hadn’t been brave enough to share her dreams with him. Since they were flying back to the East Coast, maybe she’d have time to see him. If she did, she’d tell him all of it and hope he understood better than she did why it took her so long.
—:—
Onyx had been moved to a room on the rehab floor, which meant the number of visitors he could receive at a time had doubled. The nurses, however, reminded them that a hospital was no place for the party that was currently taking place.
“Too bad Saylor isn’t here to toast with us, but Mantis was anxious to get back,” said Merrigan, clinking her glass of sparkling wine to Monk’s.
“What do you mean?”
“I think she was hoping they’d have a layover.”
Monk looked from Merrigan to Doc, who appeared to be following their conversation. When Monk walked out to the hallway, Doc followed.
“What’s she talking about?”
“We’ve offered Saylor a permanent pilot slot as soon as she completes her final commercial test.”
Monk leaned back against the wall. “She didn’t say anything.”
“We didn’t talk to her until this morning. I know Mantis mentioned it to her yesterday, but maybe she wanted to wait until she knew for sure,” said Merrigan, who had joined them in the hall.
“I gotta go,” he said, pushing off from the wall. Rather than wait for the elevator, Monk looked for the stairwell. He ran down the nine flights of stairs and stalked out the hospital’s front entrance. He walked by his building and kept going. Nothing about the conversation he had with Doc and Merrigan made any sense. When in the hell had Saylor become a pilot?
Monk had been walking over an hour when he found a park bench under a tree. He pulled his phone out but just stared at the screen. If he called, what would he say? He sure as hell couldn’t send her a text. Plus, didn’t Doc say she was already flying back to the West Coast?
The sick feeling in Monk’s stomach got worse. Before he put his phone back in his pocket, he turned it off.
28
“I’m sure you’re way overthinking this,” said Poppy. “He’ll be thrilled for you.”
“I’m not sure.”
“No offense to either of you, but it isn’t like either of you communicate very well.”
Saylor glared at her friend. “That isn’t fair.”
“It isn’t? The man comes back from butt-fuck Egypt and doesn’t bother to get in touch with you when he does, even to say he’s planted himself at his comatose friend’s bedside and, by the way, Merry fucking Christmas.” Poppy shook her head. “You aren’t any better. Did you call him? Hell, no. You just ‘understood.’ Well, yo
u shouldn’t have understood.”
“Are you finished?” Saylor asked, folding her arms.
“No. There was a reason you didn’t tell him. Think about that for a minute.”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”
“I don’t know Monk very well, because he never talks, but how does that even work? Do you know anything about his life?”
“He’s told me things he never told anyone else.”
“Okay, let’s say that’s true.”
“Are you serious? Why would I lie?”
“I don’t know, Saylor. Why would you?”
“I think you should leave.”
“The hell I will. Ask yourself this. Is this because of Cliff?”
Saylor shook her head and walked into the kitchen.
“Is it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Is Monk the kind of guy who wouldn’t want you to have a life of your own? Would he have told you not to become a pilot like Cliff did?”
“No, but Cliff didn’t either.”
“Right. You were pregnant, and then a year later, pregnant again, and then a mom. But you’re still a mom, Saylor, and you made it happen. You wanna know what I think?”
“You haven’t started telling me yet?”
Poppy shook her head. “You two deserve each other.” Her friend grabbed her bag along with the packet of unpopped popcorn that she’d brought with her, and stalked out of the house. Saylor jumped when Poppy slammed the front door behind her.
SHE’D CHECKED her phone every minute for the last two hours, waiting for some kind of word back from Monk. She’d called him shortly after Poppy left, and when the call went straight to voicemail, she left a message asking him to call her as soon as he could. “I have a lot to tell you,” she said before ending the call.
Two hours wasn’t a long time, but she wouldn’t be able to shake her feeling of dread until she was able to talk to him. She’d decided that she was going to be as honest with him as possible and tell him she couldn’t explain why she hadn’t told him what she was doing until now.
Since she couldn’t concentrate enough to do anything including cook, she took Sierra and Savannah to a local pizza place. When they begged her to stop on the way home so they could see Aunt Ava and their cousin, Saylor did.
“Are you okay?” Ava asked after they’d been there a half-hour.
“I’m fine. Why?”
“You’ve looked at your phone about once a minute since you got here.”
“I’m sorry,” she muttered, putting it in her back pocket.
“Don’t apologize, tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m waiting to hear back from Monk.”
“Do you know where he is?” Razor asked.
Saylor’s eyes scrunched. “At the hospital?”
“Nope. Doc said he took off a few hours ago, and they haven’t heard from him since.”
“Is he required to be there every minute?”
Razor sat down next to her. “Doc also said that he and Merrigan let the pilot cat out of the bag.”
Saylor’s cheeks flushed, her skin felt like there were a thousand prickles trying to break through from the inside out, and she was sure she was about to be sick to her stomach. She couldn’t even look at her brother or sister-in-law, especially when her eyes filled with tears.
“I’ll go check on Sam and the girls,” said Ava, leaving Saylor and Razor alone.
“You okay?”
“Do you really think the two are related?” she asked.
“You do.”
She did. Razor was right.
—:—
It was dark by the time Monk got off the bench and began the walk back to somewhere. He hadn’t decided yet where he’d go. He didn’t want to go to the hospital, but that wouldn’t be as bad as going to his loft where everywhere he looked, he’d see the memory of Saylor.
He powered on his phone and saw missed calls from both Doc and Saylor. He thought about turning his phone back off or deleting the message she left, but he did neither.
“Hi, Monk. Can you call me when you get this? I have a lot to tell you.”
He stopped at the liquor store on the way to his loft and bought a bottle of Hennessey. Once inside his apartment, he poured some over ice and sat down on the sofa, turning his phone over in his hand.
29
“Hi,” she said, answering Monk’s call.
“Saylor.”
“How are you?”
“What did you want to tell me?”
“I know you already know this, but I’ve spent the last few months getting my pilot’s license.”
“Yeah?”
“My brother said Doc told you they made me an offer to come to work for K19.”
“Yes.”
Saylor didn’t know what else to say. She felt like she was talking to a stranger—someone she’d just struck up a conversation with, who knew nothing about her and was responding just to be polite.
“How’s Onyx?”
“Not much different than he was two days ago.”
Okay, then. This conversation was going nowhere.
“Thanks for returning my call, Monk.”
“Take care, Saylor.”
She stared at the phone’s screen. Call ended, it said. Ended. Over.
“I love you too, Monk,” she said out loud before turning her phone off and putting it in her pocket.
“That sounds like it went well.”
“Yeah, it was great, Raze.”
Saylor walked into the bedroom where her daughters were lying on the floor, playing with her nephew, who looked like he was getting fussy.
“Time to go, girls.”
Thankfully, neither argued with her.
Saylor managed to get the girls home, baths done, looked over their homework, and read them a bedtime story. Once she was sure both of them were asleep, she sat in the quiet until she fell asleep in their room too. She woke up sometime in the middle of the night with a sore neck but a worse ache in her heart.
Once in bed, she couldn’t go back to sleep. Her mind turned her conversation with Monk over and over. Each time, it ended the same way.
WHEN THE ALARM WENT OFF, Saylor was still awake. She got up and made the girls’ lunches before going in to wake them. Once she was sure they wouldn’t go back to sleep, she went back into the kitchen and made them pancakes. She drew smiling faces with syrup and poured them each a glass of milk.
“Are you okay, Mama?” Sierra, always first to be ready for school, asked when she climbed up on the kitchen counter stool.
“I’m more than okay,” she said, leaning forward and kissing her daughter’s cheek. “I have some big news, but we’ll wait until your sister’s here to talk about it.”
“What news?” asked Savannah, climbing up to sit next to her sister. Both of them started firing questions at her.
“Is Mr. Monk coming back?”
“Is he going to live with us, Mama?”
“Will he be our new daddy?”
“Are you getting married?”
“Can we be flower girls even though we’re your daughters?”
“Stop!” Saylor shouted, immediately regretting her tone. “Look, my news has nothing to do with Mr. Monk.”
“Oh,” muttered Sierra. Savannah took a bite of her pancakes.
Saylor attempted her best fake smile. “I got a job offer.”
“What’s a job offer?” asked Savannah.
“It’s when someone wants you to work for them, dork,” said Sierra.
“Hey, now,” scolded Saylor. “That kind of talk isn’t necessary.”
Both girls were looking at her.
“Are you finished?”
They nodded and went back to eating.
“I’m going to be flying airplanes for Uncle Razor’s company.”
Neither girl looked up. Saylor threw up her hands and dug into her own pancake.
“Who’s pickin
g us up from school today?” Sierra asked when they got to the front of the car line.
“I am.”
Sierra looked at Savannah, and neither appeared happy about it.
“HAVE A GOOD DAY. SEE YOU LATER,” Saylor said once they arrived at school. “I love you,” she added, but the car door had already closed behind them.
She went back to the house and thought about trying to pull the dead plants from her neglected garden, but she was crying too hard to see what she was doing. Instead, she sat in the grass, lowered her head, and let the tears flow.
When she felt a man’s hand on her back, she knew it was her brother’s, as much as she wished it was Monk’s.
“What happened?” Razor asked, sitting down next to her.
“He hung up on me.”
“When?”
“You walked into the kitchen and heard me say I loved him too. He’d already hung up. And he didn’t say it first.”
“Come here.” Razor put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. “I never liked him anyway,” he whispered, making her laugh through her tears.
“I wish I felt that way.” She wiped her nose on her sleeve and then brushed away her tears. “I swore I’d never do this again.”
“Cry? Good plan.”
She laughed again. “Let a man wreck me.”
“Better plan.”
“What is wrong with me, Raze?”
“Not a damn thing.”
“I’m being serious.”
“So am I. This isn’t on you, Saylor. Monk is weird as fuck. I mean, I know you like him or love him or whatever, but even you have to admit he’s a strange dude.”
“He really isn’t. He just doesn’t talk when there’s nothing to say.”
“See? Who does that?”
—:—
Onyx wasn’t in his room when Monk got there the next morning, and he didn’t bother finding out where he was. Instead, he pulled the chair over by the window and looked out at the gray sky. He leaned forward, put his elbows on his knees, and let his head drop.
“You look like shit, son.”
Monk looked up and saw Onyx being wheeled back into the room. “So do you.”
“I was in a plane crash. What’s your excuse?”
“Where you been?”
“Physical therapy,” he said, trying to lift himself out of the chair.
Monk (K19 Security Solutions Book 7) Page 16
