P.S. I Loathe You (Regency Rendezvous Book 8)

by Diane Darcy

  Well it had been, hadn’t it?

  But had he thrown in her face that the kiss had left much to be desired? On both their parts?

  No, he’d been mature about it. They’d just been children after all, but that wasn’t truly it, was it? How many other gentlemen had she kissed since then? How many had touched her, tasted her, pressed their mouths to hers?

  He started to slow down.

  Not many, he’d wager. She’d been gently raised, and no doubt hadn’t had a lot of freedom.

  He remembered how shocked she’d been when he barged into her bedroom.

  But the fact of the matter was, she was his, and he should have some sort of a demand on her loyalty, shouldn’t he?

  What about the man she’d seemed to favor last night? The American cowboy. Was she enamored of the man? Was that why she was intent on rejecting him?

  He slowed even more, walking around vendors and dodging street children. So much for his strategy. Now she knew exactly how to get to him. Just simply mention other men.

  Was he jealous?

  He turned the thought over for a moment, and finally acknowledged to himself that, aye, he was. Whatever she thought, she belonged to him, and he didn’t want her going about and kissing other men.

  Mayhap he hadn’t reacted in the best way, but the girl could drive a saint to madness.

  It was good he’d left her before he’d said anything more.

  He needed to regroup, rethink, and come at the problem that was Lady Elizabeth again.

  ~~~

  Alexander headed to his club, determined to hunt down information about the man who seemed to have a very slight hold on Elizabeth’s heart.

  When he arrived, he took a seat near the fireplace, ordered a drink, and read one of the newspapers.

  He didn’t have long to wait.

  “Captain MacGregor. Good to see you. I understand congratulations are in order on your engagement?”

  Alexander stood and shook hands with Lord Fletcher, an old school friend from Harrow. “Thank ye, sir.”

  “You haven’t been home long, have you?”

  “Not long at all.”

  “Are you going to the Ashburn ball?”

  “I’m planning tae.”

  “It’s supposed to be the event of the year.”

  “Is it?”

  The other man appeared awkward. “How goes the war?”

  “We are doing well.”

  Whether they were, or whether they weren’t, that would be all Alexander would say. He would certainly never tell a civilian that circumstances often looked bleak. “My regiment has a good leader in Colonel Windham.”

  The other man nodded as if he knew. “Yes, that’s what I’ve heard.”

  What he really wished to ask about was the cowboy he’d seen Elizabeth with the night before. He tried to think of a way to ease into it, and the other man made it easy.

  “I suppose it’s odd to see Lady Elizabeth after all these years?”

  “It is. We’ve written to each other many times, however, so I feel I know her verra well, though not those new to her acquaintance.”

  “Ah, yes, I’d heard she’d formed something of an attachment to a Mr. Russell of Texas.” He looked alarmed after he’d said it. “I mean, nothing serious, of course. Simply a friendship.”

  “Are ye referring to the American cowboy I saw her with last night?”

  The other man looked worried. “I hope I didn’t offend.”

  “Nae, not at all. I dinnae believe I was introduced to the gentleman.”

  Lord Fletcher nodded, his eyes gleaming with sudden understanding. “May I?” He indicated a nearby chair.

  “Please do.” Alexander knew the other man understood exactly what he wanted to discuss, so he didn’t even try to hide it. “Now, tell me what ye know of the man.”

  Lord Fletcher settled back in the chair, and puffed out his chest importantly, seeming to enjoy being the one to bring him the information. “The man’s name is Mr. Noah Russell. He is from the Americas.”

  “I figured he was.”

  “The man has cut quite a figure here at the balls and assemblies of late. A lot of the ladies seem to like him.”

  “I see. The unknown entity, the cowboy, representing the wilds of America. I’ve nae doubt he’s been a success here.”

  “Rumor has it he is looking for money for a venture.”

  “Is he?”

  “Also, he seems to be looking for a wife. And it’s been noted he tends to only look at ladies who have parents with deep pockets.”

  “Ye suspect he’s a gold digger?”

  The other man shrugged.

  “And the ladies like him regardless?”

  “I’m not sure the ladies are in the know.”

  Alexander was glad of the information. He’d be glad to share what he’d found with Elizabeth, and hopefully turn her attention away from the upstart. “Thank ye. Ye’ve given me a lot to think about.”

  Lord Fletcher nodded, seeming glad to have been of assistance. He stood, straightened his jacket, and gave a slight bow. “I’ll see you later tonight then.”

  Alexander nodded. “Ye most definitely will.”

  ~~~

  Lady Amelia Lockheart was having an afternoon soirée. Since she was Lizzie’s older sister, Lizzie had to be there. Usually, she quite enjoyed these functions, but not today.

  Her sister had informed her upon her arrival that she had invited Alexander.

  “Why would you do that?”

  Amelia gave her the cold stare for which she was famous. “And why wouldn’t I?”

  Lizzie’s own eyes narrowed.

  “What do you wish me to say? It’s not as if I can send a message uninviting the man now, can I? He’s a war hero, he is your intended, and I don’t even know why we are having this conversation.”

  Lizzie’s mouth pressed tight.

  “Don’t you give me that look, Missy. What I’d like to know is what the two of you were playing at yesterday evening. Are you trying to ruin your reputation?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You were seen, Lizzie. Kiss the man if you must, just don’t get caught doing it.”

  She flushed.

  “And well you might blush. You’re lucky the two of you are engaged, and that Captain MacGregor has such a good reputation. If he didn’t, I fear things might not have gone well for you.”

  Mary, her younger sister by four years, patted her on the shoulder. “Let her fuss. What do you care, anyway? The whole thing is entirely romantic.”

  Her older sister rolled her eyes. “Wait until you’re married for a few years and you’ll find out how unromantic a man can be.”

  At that, Lizzie looked around for her sister’s husband. The man was flirting with one of the guests on the other side of the room. When she turned back to look at her older sister, her expression was tight. She wanted to say something, but knew Amelia would not welcome any comments.

  “Well, I’m sorry. It’s hardly my fault that he came in the way he did and surprised me.”

  “There he is now. I expect you to be less surprised and act more ladylike.”

  Lizzie pressed her pounding heart. Looking up, she saw Alexander coming in, looking very masculine and attractive in dark coat, white waistcoat, pale breeches and cravat. Tall black boots completed the outfit and she half turned away as if to mitigate the effect he had on her.

  “Why don’t you come and welcome him?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Lizzie!”

  When Lizzie shook her head stubbornly, her sister glared, and then went to greet the man.

  Alexander spotted her and watched her from afar.

  Well, fair enough. She was watching him too.

  He was introduced to friends, and as she watched, the Pembrokes introduced him to their blonde, blue-eyed daughter.

  She suddenly felt very insecure.

  She did want her freedom from the man, didn’t she? />
  When he caught her watching again he gave an uncertain smile, and she turned firmly away. It didn’t take him long to approach, however.

  “Lizzie, ’tis good to see you here today.” Alexander bowed and she curtsied, good manners firmly ingrained in her. She knew everyone watched them, so she put on a bright smile and pretended everything was fine.

  “Your sister has a beautiful home.”

  She glanced around at the large room that spilled out into the gardens in the back of the house. “Yes, it’s beautiful.”

  “I asked around about Mr. Russell this afternoon. I think it would be in your best interests to know the man is looking to marry money.”

  She gasped, unable to believe he’d done such a thing. “Well then, it’s a good thing my family has some, isn’t it?”

  He looked startled. “Ye dinnae mind the fact that the man is a gold digger?”

  “Who knows why men marry women? Apparently we women only marry where our fathers tell us to, anyway.”

  “Ye dinnae mean that.”

  “I’m furious that you would have investigated the man in such a manner.”

  “Lizzie, this is not working out the way I’d intended. I’m surprised at your reaction.”

  “What do you want? Gratitude? Did you wish to inform me that yet another man only wants me for what I can give him? I’m well aware of that fact. I have been my entire life.”

  Alexander sighed. “I know I've not been around ladies much these last years, but your reaction is ridiculous.”

  “Now I’m ridiculous?”

  “Why is everything always so difficult with ye?”

  She almost felt sorry for the man, his confusion seemed very genuine. She could see her mother crossing to join them, and again, pasted on a smile.

  “Can we not just get along?”

  At his bewildered tone, she regretted acting the shrew. Why couldn’t she seem to help herself around him? It was as if she hurt and wanted to hurt him back, but for what? Why was she so confused? She took a deep breath and nodded.

  “As you wish, Captain MacGregor.”

  ~~~

  When they arrived back home later that afternoon, Lizzie took off her hat and threw it down on a nearby chair.

  “Lizzie, I’d like to talk to you please.”

  She’d known her mother had something on her mind, but had refrained from speaking in front of her younger sister.

  She followed her mother into the parlor.

  Mother shut the doors and gestured her into the seat and when they were facing each other, her mother reached forward and patted her on the knee. “I admit, you and Alexander have had a rough start of it.”

  Lizzie snorted.

  “Lizzie. Mind your manners.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Mother sighed. “I doubt you are feeling sorry, but I do suspect that you’re feeling trapped. Am I correct?”

  Lizzie finally met her mother’s gaze. “Yes. That’s it exactly.”

  “MacGregor is a good man, as are his parents. He’s personable, of good character, and is a war hero. I believe he’ll take good care of his tenants as his father did. I believe he’ll make a good husband. Blood will tell.”

  She looked at Elizabeth expectantly.

  Again, Elizabeth didn’t comment.

  “Lizzie.” Mother hesitated again. “I know he hurt you as a young girl. In retrospect, I believe we should not have thrown the two of you together at such a volatile age.”

  Lizzie’s cheeks heated in remembered embarrassment of the infatuation she’d once felt for him. If she hadn’t felt so strongly, perhaps his rejection would not have hurt so much.

  “Lizzie, you need to get over it.”

  She remembered the way he’d disparaged her looks, had praised the blonde-haired, blue-eyed, Agatha. She’d seen him as hers, and he’d opened her eyes quite clearly to the fact that he was not.

  His rejection, at such a tender age, had devastated her.

  “You need to give him a chance, Lizzie.”

  “Mama, what I truly hate is that I don’t have a choice.”

  “So many women don’t. If I thought he was a bad man, if I thought he would hurt you, or act dishonorably, I wouldn’t be pushing for this. But I think he is a good man, and I believe you’re going to be glad you married him.”

  Lizzie didn’t respond.

  “It’s almost too bad he is not engaged to your younger sister, Mary. She’s more practical and probably would have liked him well enough.”

  At that, Lizzie felt a stab of jealousy, which was ridiculous, wasn’t it? If she didn’t want him, why should she care if he belonged to someone else? But she did care. So what was wrong with her?

  “Will you promise to at least try?”

  She nodded. “I promise, I’ll give him a chance.”

  ~~~

  Hours later, Alexander walked into his study to pour himself a drink and analyze the problem that was Lizzie. The woman was driving him to madness.

  He wished he knew what he was doing wrong. He just knew he had to do something different. Doing the same thing was not going to get him the results he wanted.

  She felt forced into a marriage with him?

  Well, he had to change the way she was thinking then, didn’t he?

  He was good at strategy, and he needed to start acting like it. Of course, in the past, his strategies had always pertained to men. He was finding women were very different creatures, indeed.

  Still, he knew Lizzie. Probably better than any man on earth. She might not want him, but he knew what she did want.

  She liked excitement. So why not woo her with exciting activities? He could give her new experiences. He could addict her to what he could offer, and to his kisses.

  And when he was finished, she’d want to marry him.

  He crossed to his writing desk and set his drink down.

  In the meanwhile, he’d write her a letter. If that was the only way they could truly communicate at the moment, then he’d use it.

  ~~~

  Alexander’s carriage stopped in front of Lizzie’s townhouse, and he lightly jumped down the minute the doors were opened. He’d looked far and wide for something he felt would entertain her.

  Today was a new day, a chance to start fresh, mayhap be a little more honest with each other, as well as have some fun.

  He knocked on the door, and was quickly admitted and ensconced in the parlor. Ten minutes later Lizzie, her mother, and her youngest sister came in. He stood. “Ladies.”

  The three ladies curtsied. “Captain MacGregor, how wonderful to see you.”

  “I know ’tis not the regular visiting time.”

  Lady Huntington waved her hand in the air. “You are practically a member of our family, so such rules do not apply to you.”

  It gave him pleasure to hear her say so, and he glanced at Lizzie to see her reaction. Well, at least she wasn’t scowling. She simply looked toward the window. Was she ignoring him once again, then?

  If he had his way that wouldn’t last for long. “I wondered if mayhap I might take Lizzie out with me today? I thought we might visit a bookstore, or have tea in a cafe?”

  Lady Huntington smiled. “Of course. The two of you need time alone to get to know one another and become better reacquainted. Mary, why don’t you go and get your sister a shawl?”

  Mary was back within minutes, and Lady Huntington escorted the two of them to the front door and smiled at them both. “Have fun!”

  Once outside, Alexander grinned at Lizzie. “Are ye ready for an adventure?”

  She looked at him doubtfully as he handed her inside the carriage. When he was settled across from her, her delicate brows lifted inquiringly. “An adventure to the bookstore?”

  “Weel, as much as ye like to write, I suspect ye might like to read as well, but I might have told your mother a slight untruth.”

  She looked wary, and he would take wary over disdainful or uncomfortable any day of the week. “You li
ed to my mother?”

  “I wouldn’t call it a lie exactly. I said that mayhap we might go to the bookstore. Does that not leave open the interpretation that mayhap we might not?”

  Her eyes narrowed at him. “Semantics.”

  “I’m verra good at semantics.”

  “Is that a threat? Will I have to watch your every word if we marry? And after my mother just finished telling me how honorable you are.”

  Pleasure at her words flooded him. He was glad Lizzie’s mother thought well of him, but loved the implication her mother was on his side and was trying to bring Lizzie around to accepting the match. “Well, I hope ye won’t think too poorly of me.”

  “You haven’t said where we are going yet.”

  I wasnae sure your mother would approve.”

  He had her full attention now, and he found that he enjoyed it.

  “Well? Where are we going?”

  “Do ye remember years ago, in one of your letters, ye told me about a lady who talked to ye about the occult when ye sat next to her at lunch?”

  She was visibly surprised. “Yes, I remember quite clearly. I’m simply surprised that you do.”

  “Lizzie. I remember everything ye wrote to me. I waited to get your letters, and reread each one many times over. Sometimes, the hope that one might arrive soon was the only thing that kept me sane.”

  Her mouth fell open as she gaped at him for a moment and he hoped he’d not revealed overmuch.

  Her eyelids fluttered and she turned away and took a deep breath. “You seem to have forgotten how many times I said we were not to be married.”

  “Well, I admit, I thought ye were jesting. After all, ye also ended many letters with P.S. I loathe ye.” He paused. “And do ye? Do ye truly loathe me?”

  She glanced away, then maneuvered the conversation back to where they were going. “Tell me, why are you interested in this long-ago correspondence we had? Why are you interested in a letter I penned so many years ago?”

  “Because ye obviously had an interest.”

  “Well, yes, the lady was very interesting. But as I told you in my letter, my mother would not let me go to the meeting.”

  He grinned at her. “Mayhap if ye were to go with your future husband, your mother might not mind so much?”

  Eyes wide she looked at him again. “We’re going to an occult meeting?”