The Kiss List

by Sara Jo Cluff

  Hayley paused near the bottom of the bleachers. “Yeah, and you still have about a year’s worth to make up.”

  Kaitlyn wrapped her arms around me, setting her chin on my head. “We’re just glad to have you back.”

  “I haven’t been anywhere,” I said.

  Hayley clucked her tongue. “Tell that to the back of Dylan’s car.”

  With a roll of my eyes, I jogged out onto the field. Kaitlyn and I immediately tossed down our bags and went to stretching. I breathed in the smell of dirt and grass, and I immediately sank into a tranquil place.

  “I’ve missed this,” I said.

  Kaitlyn sat down and straightened out her legs, bending to touch her hands to her feet. “I know you’re sick of us saying stuff, but honestly, I’ve missed watching you. I hate that you quit.”

  I took a seat next to her and tightened my high ponytail before stretching my calves. “I hate it, too. I honestly didn’t realize I’d lost so much of me when I was with Dylan.”

  “He was cute and fun,” Kaitlyn said with a one-shoulder shrug. “Any girl would have done the same.”

  “It’s still stupid,” I mumbled.

  “Well, yeah, it’s crazy stupid.”

  I pushed her so hard that she fell on her side, causing her to laugh.

  “You ladies ready to lose?” Alejandro appeared above us, his sexy smile greeting us, and his excited eyes taking in my outfit.

  I may have put on the shortest, tightest shorts I could find, and a form-fitting tank top to show off all the muscles I’d been gaining back. It wasn’t the most practical outfit for a baseball game, but I thought it could be a good distraction for Alejandro.

  Shielding my eyes with my hand, I looked up at him. “We haven’t picked teams yet.”

  Alejandro squatted down so I could see him better. “I only like to compete against the best, because it makes the victory that much sweeter.”

  I placed my hand against my chest. “Why, Alejandro, I do believe you are complimenting me.”

  “I call it as I see it,” he said. “You’ve got more talent than most people on this field. But please don’t take it personally when I win.”

  I stood, brushing off the back of my shorts and making him look up at me. I ran a finger along his firm jawline. “You should be more worried about your own feelings when you get creamed.” With a wink, I left him squatting there.

  “Everyone gather up!” Liam stood on the mound, his hands cupped over his mouth.

  I jogged over to him. “What are you doing here?” I didn’t think he played baseball. He’d played volleyball and soccer for a bit, but that was it.

  Liam lowered his hands. “Hey, Cam-Tam. Alejandro asked me to ref. Gotta make sure no one tries to cheat.” He smiled at the blue in my hair. “Love it. Very fitting on you.” Then he eyed my outfit. “What kind of baseball league is this?”

  I suddenly felt very exposed, but I wouldn’t let it show. “You like it.”

  He lifted a shoulder in a shrug, and then shooed me away with his hands. “Stop monopolizing my bod. I have a game to run.”

  Folding my arms, I stepped back until I was next to Kaitlyn. All the players were circled around the mound.

  Liam rubbed his hands together. “Alright, Alejandro and Camille will be the captains.”

  My eyes sought out Alejandro, who puckered his lips at me. I hadn’t known they’d want me to be captain. At least I’d get to pick my power team.

  There were a few of my old softball mates there, but none of them made eye contact with me, even when I selected a couple to be on my team. I tried to let it roll off me. Maybe I was reading too much into it.

  Alejandro and I went back and forth until all the players were chosen. I ended up with a pretty decent team, despite one of them, Izzy, who looked like she’d sacrifice her pitching arm to be on the other team. We did a coin toss, and my team would be up to bat first. A small setback, but one I could handle.

  My adrenaline spiked as I stepped up to bat. I tapped my bat against the base and breathed in the scent of the dirt. It had been a while since I’d hit from a pitcher. The batting cages and an actual person were way different. Which was probably why I struck out.

  “I’m embarrassed for you,” Alejandro shouted from third base. He held his arms in the air. “I can already smell victory.”

  Izzy did a horrible job at trying to hold in a laugh. One directed at me for striking out. She had her strawberry blonde hair in a bun on top of her head, and a few blue skinny headbands holding back the strays.

  I ignored her and pointed the bat at Alejandro as I walked back to the dugout. “It’s only the first inning. Watch out.”

  My second time up to bat, I hit the ball right to Alejandro. I sprinted to first base, but he was able to throw it in time to get me out. In fact, it hadn’t been close. Frustration ate at me. I was better than this.

  On my walk back to the dugout, Hayley hopped down from the bleachers and wrapped her fingers around the chain link fence, shaking it a little like she wished she could do the same to me. “Camille, get out of your head.”

  I approached her, leaning against the fence that separated us. “I’m rusty.”

  “You’re better than anyone else out there,” she said. “Stop over-thinking and find that peace.” She pounded her palm against the fence. “Crush them!”

  With a grin, I ran back to the dugout. I could do this. I never felt more at ease than when I was out on the baseball field. I just needed to get back in the zone.

  By the fifth inning, I’d found my groove. I pushed aside all my doubts and focused on the moment. Relying on my instincts had taken me far when I played softball. I went through the motions, my body taking me exactly where I needed to be.

  Alejandro stepped up to bat, pointing his bat to the outfield. “Might want to scoot back. This one’s going far.”

  He may have been being cocky, but I couldn’t deny his talent. I motioned for all the outfielders to back toward the fence.

  His first two swings were fouls, thanks to Izzy’s excellent pitching. When I tried to compliment her on it, she scowled at me, her disgusted glare taking in my barely there outfit. What had I done to make her so mad? I needed to shift my focus so I wouldn’t lose my concentration.

  “Wow, I’m super impressed, Alejandro,” I said from short stop. I shifted my weight and folded my arms over my chest, looking like I was bored. “You play like my mom.”

  Kaitlyn, Hayley, and Liam all broke out in laughter.

  Alejandro narrowed his eyes. “What am I missing?”

  Liam grinned from behind the catcher, who was another old softball mate, and didn’t seem to be as mad with me.

  “Her mom is the worst,” Liam said.

  “No athletic ability whatsoever,” Kaitlyn said.

  Alejandro did a few warm-up swings. “I’m about to prove how little you know your mom.”

  I grimaced. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

  When the pitcher threw the ball, Alejandro was ready for it. His bat connected, and the ball went soaring way over my head. The left and center fielders raced toward the ball, which looked like it was headed barely over the fence. The center fielder jumped up, his back against the fence, and his glove in the air. The baseball grazed the top and landed on the other side.

  The other team hollered as Alejandro ran his victory lap around the bases. When he passed by me, he pecked me on the cheek, making my blood boil for two different reasons. Stomping out the part of me that wanted to swoon, I focused on the side that would never let him win and used it to fuel me.

  Problem was, we were down by two with only one inning left. The first two up to bat were easy outs, followed by a single and a double.

  Then it was my turn at bat, and there was only one out left. With players on third and second base, we had a chance to tie the game. I just needed to hit the ball deep between center and right field. The players were spaced oddly apart, so it would take them longer to get to the gap. Plus
, no offense to the right fielder, but he kind of sucked. I’d have to watch out for the center fielder, though—she was good.

  My first swing sent the ball flying behind me. Hayley caught it in the stands and screamed like a fangirl. “OMG! Can I keep it?”

  A laugh bubbled up inside me. Acting like that so didn’t fit her.

  Liam motioned for her to throw the ball back.

  Hayley snarled at him. “I’ll never forget this, Elliott.” She chucked the ball over the fence, and Liam caught it. She gave him the finger before he turned his back on her, which he returned by blowing her a kiss.

  I bent down and rubbed some dirt in my hands. This was my home. My place of comfort. I needed to breathe it all in and focus. Closing my eyes, I took a couple practice swings.

  “Should we leave you alone?” Liam asked from behind the catcher. “Looks like you’re having an intimate moment with your bat.”

  I glared at him. “Don’t ruin this for me, Liam. I need to concentrate.”

  He held up his palms in an apology.

  Taking some deep breaths, I went back to my happy place. The bat was a part of me. I knew how to use it, where it needed to connect with the ball, and my instinct would move my body into the proper place once I saw the pitch.

  I tapped home base and got into position. I kept my eye on the ball, following its path toward me, and swung at the perfect moment. The ball smashed into my bat and flew right where I wanted it to.

  As I took off running, the center and right fielder ran for the back of the field, where my ball was heading. My team cheered as I rounded first base and the other two players crossed home plate. Now we were tied with the other team.

  I rounded second, my eyes darting to the outfield. My ball had smacked into the fence. I tried not to think about the fact that if I’d lowered my bat just a fraction, the ball would have gone over.

  I headed for third base. If it had been a real softball game, I would have stopped at third. The game was now tied, and since we only had one out left, I could have given the next person up to bat a chance to send me home.

  Problem was, it was Izzy, and she wasn’t the greatest hitter. Aside from her amazing pitching, she hadn’t been having a decent game at the plate. And since I wanted nothing more than to beat Alejandro, I went for it, passing third and sprinting home.

  My team jumped up and down from the dugout, cheering me on. The catcher had her glove open, ready for the ball as it came toward her. Liam was squatting and positioned where he’d have the best view.

  Shoving back the knowledge it was going to hurt since I was stupidly wearing shorts to impress a guy, I dropped into a slide. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the ball inches away from the catcher’s glove. My feet and legs connected with home plate, and the catcher’s glove touched my back a second later.

  We turned to look at Liam. With an intense gaze, he threw out his arms, signaling safe.

  My team ran out of the dugout and congratulated me—except Izzy. I hadn’t felt that high in a long time. My adrenaline was pumping, my body hot with hope. I didn’t even care that my leg stung from the slide.

  Izzy ignored us, stomped to the plate, and ended up striking out.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said to her as she walked back in the dugout. “Just get out there and show them what an amazing pitcher you are.”

  She opened her mouth to say something, but then snapped it shut, grabbed her mitt, and ran out onto the pitcher’s mound. I hoped her surly attitude wouldn’t mess with her pitching, but I wasn’t about to hold my breath.

  Alejandro’s team now had one last chance to either tie the game or win.

  The first batter hit a pop fly to centerfield, which the player caught. Easy out. The second hit a single.

  Two outs left. Alejandro was up to bat. He carried himself with such confidence, like there was no pressure on him. He’d easily hit it out of the park, or at least get on base. Their next batter was good, too.

  Alejandro pointed toward the outfield again, but this time I didn’t motion for my team to move. I felt just as confident as he did.

  He connected on the second swing, the grounder speeding right toward me. I scooped up the ball and moved to throw it to second base, but the second baseman had moved far enough away that he wouldn’t get there in time. I rushed to second base, tagged it, and chucked the ball toward first. Kaitlyn had her foot planted against the base, her body turned toward me, long arm extended, glove open and waiting for the ball.

  Liam had rushed up behind Alejandro so he could see. The ball landed in Kaitlyn’s glove a second before Alejandro’s foot touched down. Liam signaled out, and my team rushed the field.

  We jumped up and down, yelling like we’d just won the World Series. To me, it almost felt like it. It had been way too long since victory had coursed through my veins. Even Izzy was celebrating.

  Alejandro approached me once my team had calmed. He clapped my shoulder. “I’m way impressed, Camille. I hate that I lost, but winning looks good on you.”

  If my face hadn’t already been hot from the exercise, it would’ve flared. “Thank you. This is the best feeling.”

  “Such a high,” he said.

  I nodded in agreement.

  He stepped in close, keeping his voice low. “Want to do something tonight? We could celebrate your win.” The smolder in his eyes almost made me melt. I wanted to say yes. I could cross him off the kiss list by the end of the night.

  But then I looked over at Hayley and Kaitlyn, who were talking and laughing. I’d promised them a night out, but they’d understand. It was Alejandro. A chance to make a move.

  I turned back to Alejandro and opened my mouth, ready and wanting to say yes.

  “Camille!” Kaitlyn wrapped me up in her arms. “I can’t wait to celebrate.” She grinned at Hayley, who joined in our hug. “Girls night!”

  Holding in a sigh, I smiled over my shoulder at Alejandro. “Rain check?”

  A slight disappointment ran across his face, but he covered it just as quickly. “Rain check.”

  Chapter 18

  Summer camp couldn’t come soon enough. Mason never got back to me, and after some slight social media stalking, I saw he’d already gone to Hawaii. I thought about messaging him online, but I didn’t want to completely scare the guy off. I’d see him at camp, anyway.

  Isaac had called me a couple times, but I’d sent every call to voicemail, and he didn’t leave a message. Kissing him would be a sticky situation, so I needed to be very careful with him.

  Besides, Alejandro was my current focus for a kiss. For Mason, the camp would be more about getting on his radar than anything else.

  We were loading up the buses, getting ready to go. Mom couldn’t come since she had to be in court, so Dad and Seth saw me off.

  “Work hard.” Seth wore his serious mask and tone that matched with his Batman shirt he was wearing once again. “You need to let them know how amazing you are.” He had one hand on his hip, the other held out toward me. “Listen, Camille, this is your chance to shine. You only have one year left of school, and you’ve wasted a year on a boy . . .”

  “Hey.” I slapped the back of his head.

  He didn’t even flinch. “You want colleges to notice you, so you have to take this seriously. No goofing off. No boys. No staying up late. You need to be well rested.” He’d been spending too much time around my dad, because he was starting to sound and look like him.

  Dad rubbed his chin. “He’s taking all the words right from my mouth.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, so not going to miss the two of you.”

  Dad wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him. “You will.” He kissed the top of my head. “You’ll be great, sweetie.”

  “Just make sure to listen to your intelligent brother,” Seth said, using his “Dad” voice that was eerily spot-on. He joined in our family hug.

  I really would miss them, but I was going to keep that to myself. No need to fuel their e
gos.

  “Seth, my man.” Alejandro jogged over to us and held out a fist. Seth tried to act cool as he gave him a fist-bump and a small nod.

  Dad narrowed his eyes at Alejandro. “You must be the future major league player my son keeps rambling on about.” He held out his hand. “I’m Lieutenant Commander Collins.” Dad loved pulling his rank card to intimate people, especially guys my age.

  Alejandro didn’t even flinch at the name and firmly shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, sir.” His smoky gaze flitted over to me. “Just your son has been talking about me?”

  “Is there another child of mine that should be?” Dad asked, standing tall. He stretched his neck from side to side like he was cracking it.

  The smile on Alejandro’s face faltered for a second. “No, sir.”

  Dad broke out in a grin. “Just messing with you. But, no, Camille hasn’t mentioned you.”

  Alejandro winked at me. “We’ll fix that during camp.”

  Dad’s smile fell off his face. I swore I heard it hit the asphalt. “How about you not? She just got over a breakup.”

  “How about you two stop talking like I’m not here?” I folded my arms, my weight resting on my left leg. “Besides, Seth has already declared the ‘no boys’ rule.”

  Seth puffed out his chest. “That’s right. She needs to remain focused.” He slapped Alejandro on the arm and switched to his rumbly Batman voice. “Make sure she does. I’m counting on you.”

  “Anything for you, little man,” Alejandro said.

  Seth beamed. He and Dad gave me another hug before they left.

  “No boys, huh?” Alejandro pouted. “That’s too bad.”

  I sauntered up close to him, tilting my chin up. “Seth wants you to keep the boys away from me.” I bumped him with my hip. “He didn’t say anything about you staying away.”

  His strong hand brushed my waist. “Well, then, I’ll have to stay really close to make sure no boys come your way.”

  “Looking forward to it.” With a bite of my lower lip, I sauntered away.

  I missed flirting. It had been way too long because of Dylan. I thought I’d be rusty, but it was surprisingly easy, especially when you had the right target.