by K. B. Wagers
“I’ve read those studies also, Prime Minister. I believe they specifically mentioned that dealing with the pressure of their education and the sexism of their fellow students and co-workers makes men burn out a lot faster,” Taz replied with his own smile.
“You don’t have to be snide—”
“That’s quite enough,” I said, cutting Shivali off and getting to my feet. Everyone else followed suit and I looked around the room. “The universities have already agreed to work on this problem. I want to see an integration program planned out before the start of the fall semester for all Pashati universities. We’ll do a test run there and then see what, if anything, needs to be fixed and improved upon before we pass it to the other universities in the empire. Make it happen, people.” I tapped a fist on the tabletop and turned away.
Taz shook his head at me and for just a second I considered letting it go, but then I heard Shivali laughing and turned back around. “Prime Minister, if you’ll wait a moment?” I called and crossed the room, Emmory right behind me.
The women around her scattered like leaves in a breeze. I managed to keep from getting in Shivali’s face, though I could feel the steady pressure of Emmory’s hand on my arm, hidden from sight, my Ekam not quite pulling me away from the smaller woman. “A word to the wise, Prime Minister. Speak to the prince with respect. I don’t care if you feel it or not, but you will demonstrate it if you wish to remain a representative of my government.”
“You don’t want to deal with the fallout if you try to remove me.” She didn’t even blink. “I am not afraid of you, Your Majesty.”
“You should be.” I smiled at her until she dropped her eyes. “You may go.” I watched her leave the room, pleased at the final, furtive glance over her shoulder at me before she left the room. Shivali Tesla wasn’t a fool; she was afraid of me, she was just slightly better at hiding it than the others.
“Thanks,” Taz said.
“I’ll be honest.” I turned on him with a frown. “I expected you to tear into her.”
His smile was weary. “You know I can’t. I’m accused of mocking her just for pointing out that the research she cited proves her wrong. Can you imagine what would happen if I lost my temper at them?”
“Fair point.” I sighed and rubbed at my face with one hand. “Are you going to be okay without me around to not-so-subtly threaten people on your behalf?”
Taz chuckled. “I’m reasonably sure I’ll be all right.” He bumped his shoulder into mine. “Besides, you have a whole empire of people out there for you to threaten; it’d be selfish of me to ask you to stay home.”
“Just remember,” I replied with a laugh. “I’m a com link away, and Admiral Hassan has permission to step on anyone who gets too far out of line. Get to work on that proposal. I want something in my inbox within the month, and we’ll go over it until they can’t find a single thing to complain about.”
“When did you become such an optimist?” he asked with a grin.
I shook my head. “I honestly don’t know, but to tell the truth it feels nice.”
“I’m going to miss you, Hail.” Taz exchanged a look with Emmory and then held his arms open for a hug. “If I don’t see you again before you leave, take care of yourself out there and come home soon.”
I hugged him tight. “I will. I promise.”
The days passed quickly. Preparations for the trip took over my daily routine as the intelligence briefings grew more and more dire. My head was filled with the latest reports from Caspel as I stepped out of the aircar into the warmth of the late-summer sun. Alice stood on the front steps of her family’s country estate, the smile on her face echoed by the bright yellow sari wrapped around her.
“That color suits you.” I held a hand out and laughed. “Plus, I like seeing you defy people’s expectations.”
“You’re a horrible influence in that regard. Hail, you look better.” She tilted her head, her eyes narrowing critically. “A little worse for wear around the edges?”
“Rough night and morning.” I pressed my cheek to hers. “The Farians and Shen seem bent on war. If I thought they were going to keep it in their own backyard I wouldn’t care.”
“But they may not,” she agreed, taking my arm and leading me into the house. “I read Caspel’s reports just a bit ago.”
There had been another skirmish in Solarian space a week ago, and this morning Caspel had laid out all the details his agents had acquired. According to him, Mia was the one in charge of the Shen fleet and the ships were like nothing we’d seen before.
“I’m surprised President Hudson hasn’t commed me yet,” I replied. “How are you doing?”
“A bit tired. She kept me up last night.” Alice rubbed a hand over her stomach. “Otherwise good, Dr. Yanla is pleased.”
“I’m glad to hear it. You will have plenty of help from Caterina and the others, so make sure not to push yourself while I’m gone.”
Alice smiled as we headed through the arched doorway of her home. “You are no less than the thirtieth person to remind me of that. In fact, I’m reasonably sure Taz thinks you’ll kill him if anything happens to me while you’re gone.”
“I may have insinuated as much,” I replied. “What’s the use of having a reputation like mine if I can’t use it?”
“You mean like with the Matriarch Council? Yes, I heard about that,” Alice said, snorting at my innocent look.
“Honestly, Heela did most of the work. To hear her tell it I’m some bloodthirsty renegade.”
“And the prime minister?” Alice asked with a smile.
“How’d you hear about that?”
“Better question, why didn’t you tell me?”
I took the tall glass Gita passed on from a servant as I sat on a comfortable blue couch in a room filled with photos of the Gohil family. “I didn’t want to bother you with it.”
“I’m not made of glass, Hail. Taz and I don’t need you to fight our battles for us.”
I smiled, swirling the drink around. The ice clattered against the sides. “It gives me something to do. What’s this?”
“Hua is trying out a new iced chai. She’s terribly nervous, so if you hate it tell me and I’ll lie to her,” Alice replied after a moment, letting me change the subject.
“It’s perfect,” I said, laughing at the idea of anyone caring if I liked a drink or not. “I’m partial to it hot, but this is very nice.” I sipped it again; the chai was less spicy than my preferred blue chai, but the softer vanilla flavor worked well with the ice.
“I don’t understand how you could drink anything hot in this weather.”
Making a face, I glanced up at the ceiling, imagining the sky above, and beyond that the endless expanse of space. “Twenty years spent mostly in space?”
“I suppose that would do it.” Alice stared at the window for a long moment. “I’ve never been, you know.”
Blinking at her in surprise was about all I could manage, and my heir smiled at me.
“There was a significantly greater percentage of Shakti dementia in the Gohil family than most of the other noble families. It led to us being cautious about space travel.”
Exposure to radiation in the early days of space travel had triggered a genetic mutation that resulted in a new form of dementia none of the known cures could touch. My own ancestors had also been “touched by the Mother Destroyer,” and initially everyone thought the same thing happened to my mother.
Until we’d discovered she was being poisoned.
“Alice, I—”
“It’s all right, Hail. If things had gone normally around here, Clara probably would have used the objection to keep me off the throne. As it stands, I am willing to take the risk for Indrana and hopefully she will be stronger.” She rubbed at her belly with a smile. “Taz’s family has never suffered a case. We may not be able to determine the risk factor, but we do know that will help her odds.”
My smati pinged and I pulled up the message from Alba with a
sigh. “Well, the break is over. I am reminded that I have a magazine interview in an hour and time is required to make me presentable.”
Alice grinned at me as I helped her to her feet. “You deserve this victory lap. Take it and enjoy yourself.”
It was my turn to grin. “It’s not a victory lap, Alice.”
“It is when the cameras aren’t on us.”
I hugged her, pressing my cheek into her hair. “Take care of yourself and don’t work too hard.”
“I’m reasonably sure that Uli has been taking lessons from your chamberlain on how to make me do what she wants without me realizing it.” Alice squeezed me once more and then stepped away. “And whatever she misses, that husband you foisted off on me picks up on.”
“I don’t see how you can claim that I was at all involved. I wasn’t even on the planet.”
“I haven’t figured it out yet, but I’m blaming you regardless,” she replied.
“I can’t hold you responsible for his decision, Fasé.” I sighed. “I want to, but I know—I remember Cas and his determination to make Emmory proud. No one could have talked him out of it.”
Fasé dropped red lashes over her golden eyes for a moment and then smiled up at me. An aching smile of loss and sorrow, it was heavier than the heart of a star and sharper than a nanoblade’s edge. “I know, Majesty. He wanted to make you proud, too. I cannot apologize for what I did: I would do it again in an instant, so would Cas, and so would you.
“What I am sorry for is the hurt I’ve caused you. I wish it hadn’t been necessary. Believe me when I say it is all right if you never fully forgive me. All I hope is that you’ll someday forgive yourself. That moment. That choice. It has changed the very universe. Like when I brought Emmory back from the dead.” She squeezed my fingers and released me.
I swallowed, the memory of Emmory dead on the floor of Hao’s ship flashing in my vision. Zin’s terrible cry, the sound of a heart ripping in two, filled my ears and my breath stuck in my throat. I pushed off the couch and wandered to the window.
“I know it’s painful, Majesty.” Fasé joined me. “And I don’t remind you of such things to cause you pain. We are walking on the edge of a knife. I must be careful what I say to you.” She shook her head. “I can’t risk influencing your moment.”
“Isn’t that the whole point of you being here?” I asked with a laugh.
“No, Majesty.” She fixed those wide eyes at me in surprise. “I am here to support you. It is right that I am at your side.” A smile flickered to life on her lips. “And on a selfish note I am happy to be with Stasia again.”
The suns had set and lights were coming on all around the city. My inhale dragged the humid air into my lungs; the taste of the sea was unsurprising. But the peculiar spice of Rama’s Noodles somehow beat out its competitors to find its way to my nose, and my stomach gave an appreciative growl.
“Stasia, I know Yun Li has something prepared for this evening, but would it be an awful trouble to send someone to Rama’s Noodles?” I subvocalized the request over my com link with my maid.
“For your usual, ma’am?” There was laughter in her voice.
“Please, my regular order. I’ll share with Fasé, though, and I’ll still eat dinner, I promise.”
“It’s no trouble, Majesty.” Now Stasia’s laughter was alive in my ear. “We’ll have someone up with it in twenty minutes.”
“I appreciate it. Thank you.”
“She was not very cooperative with taking that time off,” I said out loud.
“It’s true.” Fasé grinned. “She got rather sulky that you wouldn’t let her do her job. I appreciate the time, though, and so does she. We were separated for too long; I was worried …” Fasé trailed off and gave me a small apologetic smile as so many people did when they caught themselves complaining about their relationships to me.
“She still snuck in here to do her job.” I waved a hand at my clothing. “This was all laid out on my bed every day, and I’m reasonably sure it wasn’t elves.”
Fasé’s grin spread. “I am not the least bit surprised by this. We went for a lovely walk on the beach this afternoon while you were at your interview.”
The door opened and Iza came in. “Majesty, Hao is here.”
“Let him in.” I turned from the window with a smile.
“Hey.” Hao came in behind Iza, stopping when he spotted Fasé. He seemed to consider walking back out again before he exhaled and looked at me. “Do you have a minute?”
“Sure. Come on.” I waved him the rest of the way into the room. “What’s up?”
“I’m going to borrow the War Bastard again.”
“Tonight?” I pushed away from the window, Fasé following in my wake. “We’re leaving for the tour tomorrow. I thought you were coming with me.”
“No offense, little sister, but unlike Johar I’m not interested in a getting-to-know-you tour of your little empire. I’m not planning on settling down here.”
I was offended, but damned if I’d give him the satisfaction of knowing it. “I’m sorry it’s so boring around here. What do you need the ship for?”
“I have a few things that need to be taken care of,” he said. “I do still have a business of my own to run, sha zhu.”
“Is that what you’re calling it these days, Cheng Hao?” Fasé asked, putting a curious emphasis on his last name.
I raised an eyebrow when my brother winced, but he recovered quickly enough and leveled a stare at Fasé that I’d seen spell trouble for far too many people.
“Some of us work for a living, Farian. We don’t just run our mouths about things that get people killed.”
“What’s the matter?” Fasé smiled slowly. “Afraid I’ll say too much if I run my mouth?”
“All right, that’s enough,” I said when I saw Hao’s hand twitch toward his gun, and I put a hand in the middle of his chest. “Fasé, don’t antagonize him, you just got back. Give me a few minutes before you two start sniping at each other. You’re both adults. Try to act like it.”
“Can I take the ship or not?”
“Oh, were you asking permission?” I dropped back onto the couch and crossed my arms over my chest, all too aware of the fact that I looked like I was sulking. “I guess. Don’t damage it.”
“Fine.” He looked as though he wanted to say something more, but shoved his hands into his pockets and headed for the door.
“Fine,” I snapped, and stuck my tongue out at his back as he left the room.
21
It’s not my place to talk about it, jiejie.” Dailun shook his head. His pink hair had grown out from when we first met, and now it flopped about his face. “He will talk with you when he is ready. Not before.”
“How am I supposed to talk to him when he takes off with you and the War Bastard instead of coming on this tour with me and refuses to take my coms?”
We were more than a month out from Pashati, headed toward the HCL system, our fifth stop on the tour. The first four had been inner worlds, easy stops at planets that’d never wavered from supporting the throne. The trip had given me time to speak with Fasé and Sybil, who’d joined us on the Hailimi Bristol, about their plans and the continued problems between the Farians and the Shen.
Alba was proving to be a master at knowing just how much interaction I could endure before my empress persona started to slip back into gunrunner annoyance, and when she had to get me away from the crowds. The fawning and flattery was unnecessary, but it didn’t stop some members of my empire from engaging in it nonetheless.
Dailun gave me an earnest smile. “I cannot make my honored cousin talk to you and I cannot tell you why he won’t.” He shook his head, still smiling before I could protest. “I am Traveling with you, Sister, but it does not mean I will involve myself needlessly in things that are better done between the two of you.”
“You’re not Traveling with me,” I replied. “You’re out running around with him.”
Dailun grinned. “Sema
ntics, honored sister. With you or with him, it makes little difference at the moment and he needs me. We’ll be back with you soon. I promise.”
“Sometimes you sound like Fasé, you know that?”
I’d taken Po-Sin’s great-grandchild on as a pilot while we were on the run from Wilson’s forces. Dailun was Svatir on his mother’s side, and his rite of passage known as the Traveling allowed him to break from Po-Sin’s family without any harmful repercussions. He was free to do as he wished, and he’d asked me if he could travel the stars with me.
I still didn’t quite know what to do with this young man who was part counsel, part companion, part BodyGuard—not that I’d ever say that around Emmory—and part free spirit. Dailun seemed happy with his choice and happy with the freedom to come and go as he pleased. I was sure he was happier now that we were back in space; it showed in the glittering of his black eyes, and the silver chasing his pupils was brighter out here in the dark.
“I will take that as a compliment,” he said.
“You are so little help. Why am I letting you fly my ship?”
His grin flashed, followed by laughter. “Because they won’t let you fly it, jiejie.”
“I hate you,” I said with no heat, because he was right. Before I’d lent it to Hao, I’d floated the idea early that I take the War Bastard out for our trip. That idea had been shot down by a dozen people, my Ekam included. Instead I was safe in a Vajrayana ship obnoxiously named the Hailimi Bristol.
“No, you don’t.” Dailun sobered, his face taking on that serious look that made him seem far older than his nineteen years. “Hao will sort through this, honored sister, if you let him tend to his business. He must do so on his own; it is not something you can help him with.” He glanced away, worrying at his lip with his teeth. “Keep trying to speak with him; it is helpful for him to know that you care. That is all I can say.”
Exhaling, I rubbed at the back of my neck with a hand. “I will. Thanks.”
