by Kailin Gow
“Not to these ones. These are very special, more isolated.”
“Great,” I said, not sure why that was such an exciting secret to keep. I couldn’t imagine what would make them so special that they’d make Salvatore’s face become so animated when he spoke of them.
The car ride over to the ruins was entertaining in its own right. Cars were swerving around, trying to get to their destinations quickly and cars were also meandering about, trying to figure out the roads. It was easy to tell who the local was and who the tourist was.
Salvatore had a funny, more aggressive side of him come out driving and he honked, slammed on the breaks, and even called out a few things in Italian to others at the time.
“I really have to learn Italian so I know what you are saying,” I said.
“I could never speak that way in front of you if you understood.”
I began laughing. I had an idea of what a few of the words may be because there was something about swear words that transcended language.
Salvatore’s small Fiat made it to the outskirts of the city and we went down this road that was rather isolate compared to some and ended up parking on a small non-paved spot just off of it.
“We’re here.”
“Where are the ruins?” I asked, thinking he was playing a joke on me.
“Behind the Stone Pines,” he said.
Salvatore took my hand and we began to walk through the tall pine grove and I felt like I was walking into a fairytale. After only five minutes of walking there was an opening and sure enough, there were some ruins there that were definitely not easy to find. I could see why it was a ‘local’ secret.
“This is beautiful,” I said, feeling awestruck.”
“Just wait until you see what’s in them,” Salvatore said.
We walked over to one of the walls, which was half decayed and Salvatore pointed at it.
I looked closer and saw that there were carvings on the walls.
“This is incredible. These must be worth a fortune.”
“Shockingly, they aren’t. They are not in pristine condition or from someone of royal lineage so they have little value, aside from the pleasure of viewing them like we are now.”
“I think they are amazing,” I said, stepping closer to take a better look.
Salvatore walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He began talking, describing the picture. “This one is a scene between a man and woman at court. If you notice, they are looking at each other with intense eyes but they are not together, touching as we are now. He is her servant, responsible for her protection and ensuring she gets what her heart desires. She is surrounded by other women, all who are focused on her, showing she has higher standing than they do. However, she doesn’t care because her heart is obviously thinking of the servant—the one who dares not touch her despite the longing. Can you imagine the torment of having such feelings and not exploring them?”
“No,” I said, practically holding my breath. “It’s so sad…what would have happened if she hadn’t denied herself the passions he had for him?”
“She would have been cast out of society and he would have likely been killed.”
“That’s even sadder,” I said, turning around.
Salvatore was looking at me and I knew we both saw the unbridled passion of our forbidden love through his words that he used to describe that scene. We weren’t supposed to be together but the more we tried to convince ourselves of that the more we wanted to be together. Our connection was undeniable and I was quite positive that it was just a little bit harder to breathe when Salvatore wasn’t near me. We were that connected.
“That’s a tragic story,” I said. “It’s kind of like our story, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t have to be,” he told me. His words were earnest and their meaning clear. “We are lucky that we have more freedom to pursue our choices without horrible consequences. We can live a life in abundant love without having to be punished in any way significant for that.”
“Punished?” I asked.
“Punished by our families frowning upon us or being talked poorly about for doing what was in our heart. People who don’t follow their hearts are causing a great disservice to themselves, to the world, and to those who they stand by without love. Don’t you think?”
I nodded my head and felt this intense urgency to feel Salvatore one last time before our love was torn apart by an ocean and a tearful goodbye at the airport.
“You know, I’d quit everything here and just walk away. I’d follow you anywhere—even your home town. All you have to do is say the word.”
“I know,” I said, smiling. I had no doubts that he’d given himself completely to me in every way possible and that I hadn’t allowed that to happen from my end yet. My lust and love was there but I wasn’t all there yet.
I reached out and began to unbutton Salvatore’s oxford shirt, each released button revealing a bit of his chest. The brush of our skin together gave an indicator that we were two people who were meant to touch each other often and our synergy was out of this world.
Salvatore didn’t resist my advancements and I slowly peeled off his clothes and then slipped off my sundress and panties. There we were, completely naked in the beautiful, secluded ruins, and looking like we could be a picture in itself.
I knelt down, feeling my knees land on a soft bed of pine needles that had made their way into the ruins, and looked longingly at Salvatore’s cock. It was growing before my eyes and I longed for it. I wanted to give him something to remember me by and something that would linger on him long after I was in the air.
Opening my mouth wide, I slid it around him and my tongue felt him as I moved back and forth. He leaned back and put his hands on my shoulders, “Oh my God, Tay. Oh my …”
With each movement, I felt him grow harder and I grew wetter. Pleasing him and hearing the sounds of his pleasure was such a turn-on for me and I wanted the sound of his approval to be etched into my mind—into my fantasies that flooded it without warning so many times.
I recalled how I had teased him so badly at the office back home last summer, making him almost come while sitting in the conference room and I knew that I wouldn’t be satisfied until I felt his hot release sliding down my throat and into me, absorbing me with everything I found so desirable about him.
When his hips rocked forward my mouth accepted the extra length of his shaft and then I’d give him a slight startle by pulling him out of me just enough to lick the tip of his huge hard-on and then blow gently, before sliding back around him and moving back and forth so rapidly. I teased and tantalized him until it happened—I felt what I longed to feel so badly.
“That was so amazing,” Salvatore said, pressing his back against the wall, just to the right of where the sketch had been.
He knelt down and gently laid me back, spreading my legs apart and kneeling down in between them. “I want you to feel incredible, too.”
Salvatore began to dart his tongue in and out of me, moving rapidly and slowly, mimicking the same moves that I’d just done to him. It felt so intense and it almost drove me mad, making me want to thrust my hips forward to experience more and not lose that connection of his tongue on my throbbing heated core.
My hand went down and I began to rub my clit as he darted in and out with his tongue, adding even more to the experience.
“That’s nice, keep doing that,” he whispered between flicks.
I did and my hips began to move more aggressively and his tongue plunged into me more deeply. It felt like we were on a boat in a stormy ocean and that holding on to each other for dear life was the only thing that would save us.
His face flashed in front of my mind and my eyes squeezed closed and my back arched as I exploded, feeling my own release escape me.
My breath was rugged and I was in a state of euphoria that I couldn’t quite explain. Salvatore. The outdoors. Knowing the urgency of our last hours together. The combinati
on was a potent cocktail of ecstasy and I was its willing recipient.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to wipe the grin off my face the entire time I’m on that flight,” I said, reaching up and touching Salvatore’s sweaty face. A strand of hair was stuck to his cheek and I pulled it away.
“That’s good to hear but I’d better make sure,” he said.
I didn’t have to look down to realize that he was rock hard again and he was sliding into me. I gladly and willingly received him and we closed out our Roman holiday with the two of us climaxing together, leaving an imprint on each other that could never be erased. Some things were just meant to be and our experience together was one of those things.
The two of us just sat there, still naked and our backs now pressed against the decrepit wall of the ruins, and felt the contentment of each other’s presence. I didn’t want to do it but I eventually glanced down at my watch.
“It’s time to go,” I said.
“You could stay for just one more day,” he offered.
“That’s so tempting but I have school and I have to see how my father’s doing. I can’t.”
“I would never stop you. I could drop it all and come with you.”
“That wouldn’t keep our secret a secret for very long, would it?”
“No, but out of all the secrets out there that I want kept, I’m not so sure this is one of them.”
“You say that now because we’ve just experienced something fantastic. However, we are going to have to manage this in the right way to give all of us the best chance…and to avoid hurting anyone unnecessarily.”
“You’re so kind,” Salvatore said.
“And let’s face it—a bit practical, too.”
“Yes, and I love everything about you.”
“I love you, too,” I said, knowing it was true.
“We will sort this out and make it work. I’m determined and when I’m determined I succeed.”
I smiled, loving his zeal for what was important to him. It was one of the things that really drew me to him and made him so much more mature than many guys his age.
“It’ll all come together,” I said.
I leaned in and kissed him and we began to make-out. I could feel him getting hard again and me wanting what he had to offer so I quickly pulled away. It was just in a knick of time, too, because I heard laughter in the distance.
“Someone’s coming!” I whispered in urgency.
I leapt up as fast as I could and got dressed. Salvatore moved at his casual pace and we managed to finish at the same time, which was amazing considering he was wearing two more items of clothing than me.
He grabbed my hand and we began to walk away from the ruins, passing another young couple.
“Ciao,” the couple said.
“Ciao,” we replied and we all kept moving.
Once we were in the car, I burst out into uncontrollable laughter. I couldn’t believe what a close call that was. The laughter was also a way to mask my nerves, which were growing jittery as I began dwelling on separation anxiety from Salvatore. How was I going to make this work?
Forty-five minutes later, we were saying our temporary goodbye’s at the airport, promising we’d find a way to see each other again as quickly as possible. With each last kiss, I longed for one more but the time came when I had to walk away and make it through customs and to the gate where my flight was leaving from. In a twisted sort of way, it was a blessing to not have to be tortured by Salvatore’s raw sexuality and larger than life personality while I waited. I was the lover being weaned from her love.
Finally, I boarded the plane and sat down. A kind looking elderly woman sat down next to me and reached over to my hair.
I looked at her, wondering what she was doing.
“You somehow managed to get a pine needle in your hair, dear.”
“Oh, thanks for seeing that,” I said, smiling and blushing.
I grabbed the pine needle and slid it into my purse. That was one part of my nature experience in Italy I was going to take back to Boston with me. A physical reminder of the amazing love I’d had in an old ruin that seemed to tell the story of my life thus far.
Chapter 11
Out of courtesy, I’d sent Chase an email letting him know when my flight would be coming in, adding that I’d take a taxi home due to the hour and not knowing his schedule. I didn’t want to see him right away and was not eager for the awkward feelings I’d have when I would eventually see him.
Of course, that meant that Chase was there at the airport, waiting for me with a huge smile on his face and a dozen red roses.
“I’m so glad you’re back, Tay. I’ve missed you,” he said, leaning in and hugging me tightly and trying to kiss me on the lips. I turned my head and he got my cheek but he didn’t seem to mind.
“Thanks for coming to pick me up. You didn’t have to do that,” I said.
“No, but I wanted to, Tay. I’m so glad to have you back home. It’s been so hard without you.”
I smiled, not sure what to say. It turned out that Chase was set to talk, talk, talk, so I didn’t have to say much.
“You’re dad’s doing great. I’ve been calling daily to check on his progress.”
“That’s so thoughtful,” I said. It made me feel guilty because I hadn’t called or emailed daily to check on him, knowing that my mother would definitely let me know if there was something amiss.
“Our families are important to me. I didn’t mind doing it at all.”
He was laying it on thick and I wasn’t exactly sure of his reasons why. Was he fighting for me or just wanting to pretend that I hadn’t said what I did to him just four days ago. I honestly couldn’t tell but I knew that time would tell for me.
“So, are you doing okay with what I’d told you?” I asked cautiously, feeling it was important to address it.
Chase looked at me and smiled but it was a bit more guarded. “I understand getting nervous, Tay. No worries here. Like I said, I’m just glad you’re back home. I missed you so much that it hurt.”
If this is a guilt trip, it’s masterful, I thought. It was that thought that made me realize that I still didn’t trust Chase and truthfully, he shouldn’t really trust me either. So, with that being said, why were we forcing this illusion that everything was rosy when in reality it was more like a wilting rose? Neither of us would be like we were in high school ever again.
Overall, it was late and I decided it was best to just ignore the voices in my head and at least allow myself the luxury of a good night’s sleep.
When we walked into the apartment building, the night watchman said, “Good evening to you, Ms. First and Mr. Nichols.”
“Hi Fred,” I said with a big smile.
“I trust your trip was safe. Welcome home.”
“Thank you.”
We walked over to the elevator and made our way up to the apartment. It hadn’t even been a week that I was gone but it felt so foreign walking into the place. When the doors slid open I was greeted by quite the surprise.
“Look at all these flowers. They’re gorgeous,” I said. I turned to Chase. “You shouldn’t have.”
“Again, I wanted to. I’d do anything for you, Taylor, and I don’t ever want you to forget that.”
He leaned in and tried to embrace me and give me a kiss. My body stiffened up and he pulled away. I saw the pained expression on his face and realized that I was not the type of woman who could play such a game. It wasn’t fair to Chase and I was beginning to see that it was not fair to me, either.
As I gained the confidence to say what was long overdue I could hear my voice quavering, sounding like it was echoing off a canyon inside my head.
“Chase, I’m sorry,” I said. “I just cannot do this any longer.”
“What do you mean?” he replied through clenched teeth.
“This relationship. I will always love you and you will always be my first—no one can ever take that away from you but this isn’t for me. It�
�s not what I’m meant for.”
“You are meant to live a privileged life with a successful husband, kids running around, and doing whatever you please. That is what you can have with me.”
“Love. I want love.”
“I do love you and you know that. Don’t pull that shit on me,” Chase snapped.
“I don’t equate material possessions to the love I’m talking about. Of course you could provide for me but I am not meant to be your wife.”
“You’re a fool then. Do you know how many women would love to be in your position and take what I’m offering you?”
