by Heiress
It wasn’t no way in hell I was gone fall in love again. Cali proved to be loyal but for how long? Yeah, we weren’t in a real relationship, but how long before both of us admit our feelings if there were any. I’m gone do me regardless so what if she couldn’t handle me being with other bitches. Is she gone dip out on me too? I’ll die before I let a bitch fuck me over again.
“Nah I’m good on both they asses,” I retorted, opening the door and walking out. I pulled out my phone and text Cali back.
ME: I’m good on the pussy.
Powering off my phone, I headed to my car. I hit up Snoop so we could go hit the club. This shit with Cali was getting out of hand. I think I was falling for her. I was falling fast and hard. I wasn’t the nigga for her and there was no way we could make our dysfunctional situation work. Plus, I wasn’t in the market for being in love. Never again.
CHAPTER 13
CALIANA: IF LOVING YOU IS WRONG, I WANT TO BE WRONG
For the fifth time, I read Compton’s text message he had sent me a week ago. I tried so hard to read between the lines but it wasn’t making sense to me. I don’t know if it was just I was too young and naïve but I didn’t know what he meant by it. We went from being almost identical to a real couple back to being roommates again. The only difference is this time; we barely even spoke to each other. Some nights he didn’t come home and when he did, he made sure I was sleep so we wouldn’t have to speak. By the time I was awake, he was already gone. I was starting to think I did something wrong.
“Aye! Cali!” I heard a familiar voice yell out to me. When I looked down the aisle I was in, I saw that it was Sean, Compton’s cousin.
“Hey Sean,” I greeted him with a smile. Sean was a very attractive guy. He was tall, caramel and handsome. He had dark almond shaped eyes and his brown dreaded hair was down his back. If I didn’t know that he was born in the states, I would have thought he was a real Jamaican.
“I haven’t seen you since the wedding. How you been girl?” he genuinely asked, leaning against my grocery basket. I was shopping for something to cook for dinner. I planned on talking to Compton about what’s been going on with us.
“I been pretty good. Trying to figure out what to do about school and stuff. How have you been? Every time I see you, it’s like your dreads get longer and longer,” I commented, pointing to his hair.
“You know what they say about that Jamaican water.” I chuckled. “But I been good too. Some shit been popping off out here so me and my pops came out to check on things. You sure you good? You ain’t got that normal spark you be having.” He noticed my facial expression. I started not to say anything but I needed to vent to someone. Missy was just going to lecture me and I didn’t even want to confide in Momma Banks. So, I figured I’d talk to Sean about it. He’s like his favorite cousin anyway. Maybe he could shed some light my way.
“I know that what me and Compton have isn’t real but it feels like it. Well, at least it was. One day we were really good and then the next he’s sending me a text that I can’t understand. He stopped talking to me and even noticing my presence. Half the time I’m invisible to him. Like I don’t know where I went wrong,” I confided to Sean.
He nodded his head up and down while stroking his small goatee. “That’s, Compton for you. He my mans but being transparent in his emotions ain’t his strong suit. If he feels like he is getting too attached to something or someone, he gone take a step back. Especially with females. Many have come and tried to tear that wall down he built but ain’t none of get through it. Monique fucked his ass up,” Sean let me know.
“But I’m not Monique. I may be young and in my feelings a lot of the time, but I wouldn’t do that to him. I care about Compton. A lot. Almost… more than a lot. I think I might even-,”
“Love him?” he asked, finishing my sentence. Without hesitation, I nodded my head. “Does he know?”
“No. Missy keep pressuring me to tell him, but I can’t. Especially not now. He won’t even look my way. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t even supposed to fall for him. I agreed to marry him, have his baby and that’s it. Why couldn’t I just stick to the damn plan,” I asked more so to myself.
“Shit happens, cuzo. Hell, love happens. I been in love all of one time and I still ain’t over that girl. And I was the one who cheated on her ass. This time it’s the other way around with Compton. He just need some time. But in giving him that time, you need to tell him how your feel. Be real with him. He gone appreciate that,” he advised me. His phone starting ringing and he pulled it out to looked at it. “Oh shit. I got to bounce. I’m gone see you around though. You cool peoples, Cali. Be honest with, C. Fa real,” he said to me while walking backwards. I just flashed him and smile and waved as he got further and further away.
“Tell him the truth. That’s what I got to do,” I told myself. I finished shopping and then I went to check out. After getting my groceries, I headed to my car. While putting my bags in my trunk, I dropped one on the ground. When I reached down to grab it, I could feel eyes on me. I turned my head and there stood a tall buff black man. He was fine as wine.
“I think I remember that ass,” he remarked, rubbing his hands together as he enjoyed the view of my backside.
I quickly retrieved my bag and stood up. “Excuse me? You must have this ass mistaken for someone else’s,” I snapped back, closing my trunk.
“Nah. My memory is really good. I think I was rubbing all on that ass in a club one night. I almost got the pussy too, but you had some bodyguard blockin’ me.” As I stared at him a little bit longer, he did seem to look familiar. Covering up my mouth to the realization of who he was, I gasp.
“Oh. My. God. You’re the guy from the club that night. This is so embarrassing.” I had my hand over my chest as I chuckled to myself. “I should apologize to you. I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing. I never act like that,” I tried to explain.
“Feel free to never act like that in front of me again. I enjoyed it,” he flirted. Everything about this man screamed trouble. I mean God couldn’t have put any more danger zone signs on his forehead for me to get the picture. I just had to keep talking to him. The way he stared at me just made me want to test just how dangerous he was.
“Uhh… I don’t remember your name. I’m Cali,” I introduced.
“Trust me. I remember you. I’m, Damien. Your, Compton’s wife, right?” he inquired. It was almost like he had an agenda with that question, but he didn’t look like anyone important. He was wearing black sweats, a white beater and some timberlands. He seemed to be a regular hood nigga to me.
“Yeah. I’m his wife. Why? Does that scare you?” I challenged.
“Not at all. He the one that needs to be scared. Seeing as how I’m gone steal his wife,” he confidently responded.
I snickered rolling my eyes. “You can try, but you won’t get me. His big black dick is written all over my kitty cat,” I replied seductively. A little tease never hurt anyone. Compton turned me into a little freak. “Sorry but I can’t be stolen.” My voice was now in its normal tone as I opened my door.
He rushed over to me and pressed his body up against mine. I could have sworn I heard something flash but I think my ears were playing tricks on me. “I won’t have to steal you. You’ll come willingly. Just like the last one,” he mumbled into my ear before licking my lobe. I didn’t know what he meant by that last statement and with how hot I was at the moment I didn’t care. I could feel his hard penis on my butt but I couldn’t move. This man had a sex appeal like no other and I was horny. I went from having sex almost four times a day to nothing. My mind was telling me to push him off me, but my cookie was begging him to stay put.
“I’m sure I’ll see you around. Have a lovely day, Cali.” He backed up away from me but not before hitting me hard on my ass. I let out a soft moan from the stinging sensation. Looking around, I noticed I was still in a public parking lot. I quickly got myself together and prayed to God Compton didn’t ha
ve his spies watching me. I probably wouldn’t live to see the next day.
After waving my warm body, I slid into the driver’s seat and pulled out of the parking lot. I rushed home to cook something. I wasn’t too much of a cook, but I knew the basics. When I got there, I was surprised to see all of Compton’s cars in the driveway. It was six o’clock and this was the earliest he had been at the house. Popping the trunk, I got out of the car and grabbed the bags from the back. I made my way to the door and before I could even open it, it flew open.
Compton was standing at the door with a gym bag and some sneakers in his hand. “Are you going to go work out?” I asked in an innocent voice. I was hoping he said no but it was evident he was.
“Yeah. Don’t wait up,” he answered, attempting to walk pass me. I stood in his way with my body and he glared down at me commanding me to move with his eyes.
“I…umm. I was about to cook something. For us. I kind of wanted you to join me,” I spoke up, keeping my eyes trained on his.
“Nah I’m straight. I’m not hungry.” He tried to move around me, but I stood in his way again. “The fuck is ya’ problem? You tryin’ to pick a fight or some shit? Move out my way,” he demanded but I didn’t move. I needed to get my feelings off my chest before I exploded.
“What the hell did I do to you, Compton?” I finally asked. “You been ignoring me for a week now and I need to know why!”
“Fuck I look like answering to your ass. I’m a grown ass man. So I advise you to move the fuck up out my way before I make ya’ ass move,” he threatened.
“Hell no! I’m not like these weak females your used too. A little young maybe but never weak. Don’t treat me like you treat them. We started off rocky but I thought we agreed to get along. We were getting somewhere, Compton and-,”
“Getting somewhere?” he questioned, interrupting me. “And where the fuck was that?”
“Well I thought we were becoming…well you know. I thought we were becoming real. We were having fun together. Getting to know each other. Talking and texting all the time. We spent every minute together for a year. You can’t tell me that what I was feeling wasn’t real,” I expressed.
He looked be dead in my eye and laughed in my face. “I can tell you that. What you were feeling wasn’t real. Ain’t shit about us real. This whole situation is some bullshit. I’m not the nigga for you, Cali.”
“Don’t speak for me!” I raised my voice at him. “How can you tell me that you’re not the man for me? Only I can say that. Not you! I was starting to fall for you. I actually think I love-,”
“Don’t even say it,” he cut me off. “Don’t say you love a nigga because you don’t. You young and you just high off the dick. You can’t love a nigga like me, Cali. I ain’t got shit to give you but heartbreak. You can’t handle me, my life and everything that comes wit’ that.”
“Yes I can! I can handle it. Let’s just try it,” I practically begged.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, I could see he was getting frustrated. Walking up to him, I closed the gap between us. Standing on my tippy toes, I grabbed a hold of his shirt and pulled him into me closer. Softly pressing my lips on top of his, I kissed him. He didn’t kiss me back but I kept pecking his lips. “Please just give us a chance, Compton. I’m falling in love with you. I want to be with you. I want this to be real,” I whispered in his mouth between pecks.
He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me into his mouth further. I invited him in and he kissed me hungrily. Dropping his gym bag, he wrapped his arms around my waist and began to rub his hands all over my body. I was beginning to get hot all over and I knew I was breaking him down. “I won’t do you like, Monique did you. I promise.”
The sound of her name must have triggered something because he abruptly stopped our kiss and pulled away from me. The look on his face displayed that he was not satisfied. “Do you know how I operate, Lil’ Momma?” I’m sure the question was rhetorical so I didn’t answer it. Instead, I waited for him to respond.
“I like fucking bitches. All bitches. Fat bitches. Skinny bitches. White, black and orange bitches. If you in a relationship with me then you in a relationship with them too. I fucked up when I gave my heart to a bitch that couldn’t handle that. Just when I decided to give up the random pussy and settle down, she go fuck my best nigga. She broke the code and my heart. I don’t trust no bitch now. I can’t give you all of me. I can’t fight how I feel about you, but that’s all it is. A feeling. You not the type of girl I want to be creepin’ on. You can’t handle it. That’s why we won’t work. Ain’t no love out here in these streets,” he ended his long speech, walking away from me.
“I won’t do you like she did you!” I yelled out to him but he didn’t stop his stride.
“Yes you will. Y’all all the same,” he through over his shoulders before getting into his truck and burning rubber out of the driveway.
Dropping my bags at the door, I just stood there to process our conversation. Here I was telling a man who refuses to love again that I love him. Here I was falling in love with my pretend husband. How did I get here? How did this become my reality? I wanted Compton and he couldn’t allow himself to want me. I can’t make him love me. That was the sad reality about it all because I wanted to.
CHAPTER 14
COMPTON: LOYALTY IS EVERYTHING
With my chest heaving in and out, I ran the highest speed on the treadmill. I was at the gym letting off some steam. As soon as I left my crib, I felt guilty as shit about how I treated Cali. Deep down I wanted to tell her that I was falling just as hard for her as she was for me. My pride and my pain just wouldn’t let the words come out my mouth. I could see Cali and I being something more than this lie we are living, but I couldn’t get pass my past.
“Fuck!” I cursed as I stopped my five-mile run. After slapping my towel on the handles a few times, I rested my head on my arm. “Shit man.”
“Are you okay young man?” Joe the old head who worked as a janitor for LA Fitness asked.
I just nodded my head as to say I was good. “Well you know where my station is when you want to holla. With all this gray hair, I got a lot of wisdom.” He laughed, walking away from me all slumped over. No one knew how old Joe was but he had to be about one hundred. I continued with my workout and then I went to take a shower. When I left out the gym, Monique was standing at my whip with her arms folded. She had this smug look on her face as if she knew something I didn’t.
“Move the fuck around, Mo’. I ain’t in the mood for whateva’ this is.” I pointed from me to her.
“Well you better get in the mood, Compton. You need to know about your so called wifey.”
“Ain’t shit you can tell me ‘bout my wife that I don’t already know. So miss me wit’ the bullshit.” I popped my trunk and put my gym bag inside. Monique was on a nigga heels.
“Oh really?” I quizzed suspiciously. “I highly doubt that boo.” In her hands, she held out a vanilla folder. “Gone head and take a look since you know your bitch so well.”
“Watch ya’ mouth, Mo’,” I warned, snatching the folder out her hand. I don’t even know why I was standing here entertaining her ass. Before I could even open the folder, my phone started vibrating like crazy in my pocket. When I saw it was my Snoop, I answered.
“Yeah?”
“AYE, C! WHERE YOU AT?” he asked in a panic voice.
“Calm down nigga. I’m at the gym what’s good?”
“Well nice to see you gettin’ in shape, but we got to roll out. Some niggas caught them Jamaicans that’s out here for sis. Pull up at the spot in ten,” he told me before killing the line.
Jogging over to my front seat, I got in and pushed to start. “Wait! You’re not going to look in the envelope? It’s important, Compton. She’s no better than me!” Monique yelled out to me as I pulled off. Whatever she had to tell me would just have to wait. I was putting the pedal to the metal trying to get to my warehouse. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on thes
e foreign ass niggas.
Nine minutes later, I was pulling into my warehouse. Getting out my whip, I walked up to the warehouse doors and entered. There were two dread heads tied to some metal chairs. Snoop was giving they asses blow after blow. They were ruffed up a bit, but not too bad. I guess my nigga saved the fun for me. When Snoop saw me walk past him, he paused his assault.
“So y’all the niggas that want my wife?” I interrogated, walking over to the wood table that had my weapons of choice laid out on it. When they didn’t say anything, I glanced over my shoulder and mugged them. “Speak the fuck up pussy ass fuck niggas!” I roared, grabbing a gun and popping both of them in the knee.
“EWWWWWWW!” the both screamed out in agony. “Fuck yuh bitch ass nigga. Mi nuh telling yuh shit!” the black as tar dread head retorted back with blood flying out his mouth.
“Fuck you say? Speak English nigga! You in Compton,” I shouted with a menacing grin. “Y’all ugly ass niggas got two options. You can either tell me or die. Or you cannot tell me and I’ll use all these nice tools to make you tell me. Your choice.”
They both turned their heads to each other. They wasn’t saying shit verbally but with their eyes, they were saying a lot. “We ain’t got all fuckin’ day! I got a pregnant bitch waiting at home for me,” Snoop snared.
“Oh shit! Tee pregnant?” I asked, smiling.
“Dang, my bad bro. I forgot to tell you. A nigga ‘bout to be a father and shit,” he answered proudly.
“That’s wassup fa real, Snoop. Congrats bro.” I pulled him into a bro hug. All our men were just looking at us like we were crazy. We were in a middle of murdering niggas and yet we hugging and shit. Just to show how much we didn’t give a fuck.
