by Lacey Legend
“No, don’t be sorry. It’s nice.”
And in that moment, he saw a side to her that he had never seen before. A vulnerability that he didn’t know existed. He wished he had never seen it as a momentary pang of guilt came over him. It would’ve easier for him to break up with her if he hadn’t seen that side of her. She’d parked quite far away, and he was glad to see that the area was secluded. The car had a top, but it was still light enough outside for people to peer in. She opened the back, and they both jumped up and crawled inside. With the top down, they had just enough space to sit without banging their head.
“We normally do this in the dark,” he said, stating the facts.
“Well, who knows? Maybe we’ll have an audience today.”
And with that, she started to unlace the top of her bodice. Her breasts were huge and had been caged under the ribbons, but the moment she untied them, they came spilling out. He felt himself respond immediately to her. Eric had never been the type of person to care about things such as breast sizes, or body sizes for that matter. It was all about the way that a woman held herself – no matter what the size. And Charlie certainly knew how to hold herself. She oozed confidence. She pulled him straight toward her breasts and pushed him tight against her so that he was almost suffocated between them. Then she cupped his face and moved it slightly so that his lips were on her nipple. She played with his hair while he sucked the nipple of her left breast and then her right. He was now at that point that should someone come past and see them, he’d continue without caring. He was too invested in the moment to give a damn about anyone other than Charlie and the way she was making him feel. He lay down on the mattress and undid his jeans, laughing as his penis practically sprung to action. He was just about to sit up again when she pushed him back down and placed him inside of her mouth. He was going to miss that mouth. It was always hot, wet, and ready for him. She loved to suck him until the moment just before he was about to come. Then, she’d pull him out and move him inside of her. He groaned and shifted as she licked and sucked, and he knew that if she didn’t pull him out quickly, he was going to come. But, as always, she sensed this in time. She pulled him off and then lay on the mattress next to him. She pulled up her leather skirt, which was short enough to only need a simple tug, and then pulled him on top of her. She wasn’t wearing any underwear. But then again, she never did. He moved easily inside of her and tried to prolong the moment – but he couldn’t help himself. Luckily she smiled and breathed heavily, a sure sign that she was close to it, too. One more heavy push, and he couldn’t contain himself anymore.
“Charlie! Oh, Charlie,” he said as the two of them came together.
It was the first time that he had said her name out loud during sex, and only afterward did he feel a sense of embarrassment as she looked up at him. The sex had been great, but now that it was over, he knew that he should never have done it in the first place. He put his clothes back on and lay beside her. Her skirt was back down, but her breasts still spilled over her bodice. He traced his fingers around her nipples.
“What’s going on, Eric?” she asked.
“What do you mean? That was amazing, Charlie. But it always is with you. You know you’re amazing at this!”
He knew that he was being overly complimentary that night, and he knew this was something that would make her suspicious. But the sex really had been amazing.
“Well, thank you. It always is with you, too. There’s no need to state the obvious – we both know that we’re good at that together. We always have been. Which is why we can’t keep our hands off each other. But something is up. I know it. You’re not acting the same, and I’m not stupid, Eric. There’s something on your mind.”
“You’re on my mind,” he said, simply because he didn’t know what else to say. He knew that he was stalling, and she knew it, too.
“Come on, Eric. Just tell me. Like I said, I’m not stupid. We’ve done this enough times for me to know when something has changed. And since when have I been on your mind? I mean, we say that we’re going out, but we’ve never even been on a date. We always just hook up. And then tonight you go and hold my hand. Yeah, it was nice and all, but it wasn’t you. Something is up. Just tell me. I’d rather just know. You say I’m hardcore? Well, then you know that I can handle anything that you throw my way.”
He sighed. He didn’t actually think it would be this hard. He wasn’t in love with Charlie – that was one thing he knew for certain. But change was never easy. He turned his head so that his eyes were looking straight up. He breathed in and out for a while, just staring at the top of the car – examining all the cracks and the stains as if they were suddenly important for him to memorize. Then finally, he spat it out.
“I’m leaving.”
“You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question. She just whispered it back as if it was something that she always knew he was going to say to her one day. When he didn’t say anything else she asked, “When?”
“Tonight.”
He turned to look at her, but her eyes were closed. So he looked back up, his eyes scanning the top of the car again.
“Tonight. Okay. So this is goodbye, then?”
He felt her turn, and when he looked back at her, she was looking at him, her eyes searching his for answers.
“This is goodbye. I’m sorry, Charlie. I’m sorry for telling you this way.”
She turned to look back up again, and he felt her body sigh next to his.
“It’s okay. Don’t be sorry. This really is not a huge surprise to me. In fact, I knew something was up. It’s not just tonight. You’ve been acting odd for the past few weeks, and I could tell that something big was on your mind. I was actually going to ask you about it, but I knew that you would eventually tell me when you were ready. I don’t like forcing things out of people. Anyway, I always knew that you were going to leave one day.”
“You did?” That was a surprise to him.
“Of course I did. Like I said Eric, I know you. And I’ve met other men like you, too. I don’t know the specifics of your life – but that’s because you’ve never told me. And that’s okay; I know you haven’t told anyone else either. But I know that you’re the sort of guy who is always on the move. You were never fully here to begin with. I always got that sense that you were thinking about your next move. To be honest, I’m actually surprised it took so long.”
Eric laughed and reached out for her hand. It suddenly felt good to be holding her hand. He wondered why they didn’t normally do that. It was funny how much more intimate holding her hand was compared to having sex.
“Well, it looks like you know me better than I know myself. I’m sorry, Charlie. About all of this. And I didn’t come here today to sleep with you and just leave. That wasn’t supposed to happen at all. I know how awful that seems. But… you know… it’s you and me. It’s hard not to do that with you! I really was supposed to just come here, talk with you about what was happening, and then say my goodbyes. And now here we are, at the back of your truck again. Just like always.”
It was her turn to laugh, and he was grateful for the sound.
“Well, I’m partly to blame for that one, to be honest. I mean, I’m the one who told you about the mattress. There’s no way we can both resist that. But it’s okay, Eric; I’m glad that we did this. I’d rather it have ended this way. This is how I want to remember you – lying in the back of my pick-up truck. So, are you coming back in? Or is this it?” she asked even though he was sure that she knew what the answer would be.
“This is it. I can’t go back in. That would make it so much harder. I’m sorry, Charlie.”
She squeezed his hand again. “That’s okay, I understand. I didn’t really expect you to. And you know, it’s probably better this way. It’s time I moved on, too. I need to figure my shit out and sort my life out, man. And I need to find a proper boyfriend. You were amazing and all – but we weren’t in love. I actually don’t know what that is like. Maybe it’s
time I went out and found it. Anyway, is there anything you want me to say to the guys?”
“I don’t know what there is to say. I feel bad not saying goodbye, but I don’t really want to tell them either. I have my reasons for leaving and it’s better they don’t know. And anyway, I’m not really such good friends with them. I mean, for the most part, I don’t even know their last names. That’s how little I know about them.”
“Well, I’m glad you trust me then, and at least you know my last name. I won’t say anything about you leaving. I’ll just tell them that we broke up. They can think that us breaking up is the reason why you don’t come to the pub anymore. I’ll make it seem realistic. Nobody likes dealing with a breakup. They’ll understand. Like you said, you weren’t really friends with them anyway. And neither am I. We’re drifters, you and I. We always will be.”
He couldn’t believe that she was being so nice about it all. It wasn’t that he had expected tears or arguments, but he still hadn’t thought that it would be this easy. He turned to face her.
“Thank you, Charlie. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that. I was dreading this moment, you know. You were the only person that I was worried about saying goodbye to. I knew that this wasn’t going to be easy. So, thank you. You know, those guys are going to be so happy to see the back of me. They’ll probably start celebrating if they know that I’m not coming back.”
“What? No they won’t. They like you,” she said.
“Yeah, they like me, but let’s be honest here, Charlie - they like you more. They think that I’m the luckiest guy to have been with you – which I am, of course. You better be careful – they’re all going to be after you now.”
She laughed. “Well, they’re all married so I would never go there. I’m not that sort of girl, even if they are those sort of men. They can, however, buy me drinks. I’ll allow that. I might as well make the most of a bad situation. Money is a bit low these days, and I could do with a few free drinks.”
Eric laughed at that. He knew they would all be falling over backwards to buy her drinks. Especially if they knew that she was single again.
“Yeah, good idea. Let them pay. They’re already well on their way tonight – they’ve been here for hours. So you’ll probably get yourself a good few drinks the moment you get in.”
“I’ll be sure of it. Well, you better get going, Eric. I don’t want to drag this on for too long. Otherwise, this is going to become weird. I’m not great with goodbyes. Even though I’m okay with you going, and even though I knew that it was going to eventually happen – I’m still not that great at the actual saying goodbye part.”
“Neither am I,” he agreed.
“Well, then let’s make this quick and painless. Thanks for everything, and thank you for at least coming and telling me today. You didn’t have to, but I’m glad that you did. You take care, Eric. Wherever you are going and whatever you are doing – just be careful. Look after yourself. You’re a great guy. Sometimes I don’t think you realize just what a great guy you are.”
“Thank you. And the same to you, Charlie. I really am glad that I met you.”
“You get out first. I’m going to stay here for a while.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. And don’t worry – I’ll be fine. Like I said Eric, I always knew this was going to end. This wasn’t love. But it sure was fun. Now go on, get out of here. I’ll go claim some free drinks in a minute.”
Eric reached over and kissed her and then climbed out of the truck. Then, without looking back, he walked straight to his car and got in. And just like that, he drove away from his old life and slowly back into his new one. He wasn’t sure what he felt, but he knew that relief was part of it. He drove slowly, making sure to keep within the speed limit. Not too fast and not too slow. He needed to learn how to blend in with the rest of society. It felt wrong going so slow, so he put on some music to help distract him. When he finally got back home, he felt both exhausted and agitated at the same time. He knew that if he tried to sleep, he wouldn’t be able to. Anyway, it was far too early to go to bed. But what was he going to do? He didn’t have a TV yet, and he wasn’t sure his mind would be able to concentrate on a book. He’d always been a big reader. He had one big box dedicated to books that he couldn’t bring himself to part with. Most were books he’d read over and over again; some he hadn’t yet started. But lately, he couldn’t bring himself to read. There was just too much going on, and he’d find himself at the end of a page and realize that he hadn’t taken in a word of what he’d read. He looked at the unopened box of books lying in the living room and sighed.
He wondered if he should spend the evening unpacking, but again, he couldn’t find the energy for it. He’d look at it again in the morning. Tomorrow was a brand new day. He looked out the window, onto the now-darkened street, and wondered if anyone knew that he had moved here. He’d been careful this time. Far more careful than he’d ever been before. He’d learned from his mistakes, and he knew what was at stake. But even so, he felt nervous being alone and was suddenly desperate for a distraction. He noticed the curtains move at the neighbor’s house and wondered if the pretty girl had noticed him yet. He didn’t see any other car outside and decided that she probably lived alone. Just like him. What harm would it do to go and say hello? He didn’t want to make any friends just yet, but he wanted to remain friendly. Also, if he didn’t distract himself, he was going to go out of his mind. He stood for a few minutes deliberating. But eventually, he convinced himself that it would be okay to just go and say hello. Saying hello could do no harm, and it was better to look friendly than unfriendly. He wouldn’t stay long. Just a quick hello and he’d come back. He took a deep breath and walked over to her door.
The girl opened the door, looking even more beautiful up close than she had from the car. Up close, he could see how all her features worked together and how intense and bright her eyes were. She was absolutely stunning, yet somehow still approachable at the same time. He hadn’t met many girls like her before. He extended his hand in greeting.
“Hi. I’m your new neighbor, Eric. I thought I’d come and introduce myself.”
She looked nervous as she took him in. He supposed that it wasn’t usual for people to get to know their neighbors, and he hoped that he hadn’t made the wrong decision by coming by and introducing himself. But he was there now, and he had to go through with it. If he walked off now, it would only make the situation stranger.
She seemed to stumble slightly before replying with a soft but confident voice, “Hi, Eric. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Jasmine. Would you like to come in?”
He hadn’t expected her to let him in, but he was grateful at the thought of suddenly not being alone anymore. Her house was a lot warmer and more inviting than his was, and he felt instantly comfortable in her presence.
“Jasmine, great name. You’re the first Jasmine that I’ve ever met. And yeah, I’d love to come in, thank you. Sorry, I know this is a bit strange – coming over and saying hello. But… my house is incredibly empty, and I thought it would be nice to see who I’m staying next to. I realize now how weird it is for me to just come over like this, but here I am.”
She laughed. “Well, I’ll be honest. It IS a bit strange. Although it really shouldn’t be – we should probably all know our neighbors a bit more than we do. But truthfully, I’ve been wanting to go over and introduce myself, but I was worried that I’d be intruding on your first night.”
“Oh no, am I intruding on you?” he asked.
He wanted to kick himself. It was getting late, and he wasn’t sure why he had come knocking on her door. It really was a strange thing to do. So much for lying low. Day one, and he was already making a fool of himself.
“No, no, that’s not what I meant. I’m glad you came over. I have absolutely no plans – because yes, that is how exciting my life is. So it’s nice to have some company. I’ve lived here for quite a while, and I like to know who I’m living n
ext to. Well, Eric, welcome to the neighborhood. Can I get you something to drink? Wine? Whiskey? Beer? Rum? Gin? Coffee? Water?”
“Wow, you have all of that?”
She laughed again. She seemed to be the type of girl who laughed easily, and he liked that about her. It immediately put him at ease.
“I do. And only now do I realize what an alcoholic I sound like. But you see – one can never be too sure when their new neighbor is going to pop by. It’s good to be fully stocked for all circumstances.”
“I like your style. Well, I’ll just have whatever you’re having,” he said, not really bothered by what he was going to drink. He’d already had some beers at the bar, as well as that shot of tequila, and after that long drive, he didn’t actually want to drink more. But he couldn’t quite sit there drinking nothing.
“Oh, dear – you might not like that. I was actually just going to have a hot chocolate.”
“You know what, that actually sounds perfect right now.”
He was relieved at the thought of a hot chocolate – something he hadn’t had in a very long time.
“Really?” she asked, raising her eyebrows slightly at him.
“Hey, don’t I look like the type of guy who would drink hot chocolate? I’m offended.”
He could see that he had made her flustered.
“Well, I don’t know. I guess not – sorry. Although… surely everyone likes hot chocolate? So… I suppose you would. Anyway, I’m adding mini marshmallows on top – you know, because that’s how wild my Friday nights are these days.”
He laughed and felt better about his evening ahead, putting the previous few hours behind him. The previous few years, in fact.
“To be honest, Jasmine, this is gearing up to be one of the best Friday nights I’ve had in a very long time.”
“Mini marshmallows will do that for you!”
Chapter3
“Jasmine, would you mind stepping into my office quickly? I want to chat to you about the article. Thank you,” Ella said over the phone, and Jasmine groaned.
