“Aye, Mama.”
“Then help me clean up the dishes before bed.”
Bram could only wonder how much help a three year old could be.
Grace poured warm water into a wash basin from a kettle that sat on the hearth. She gave Kristen a small towel. As Grace washed each item, she handed it to Kristen who dried it carefully—if not perfectly—and laid it on the table. When she was done, Grace whispered something in Kristen’s ear. Kristen nodded and went into the bedroom.
Bram arched a brow at Grace.
Grace said, “Chamber pot,” by way of explanation, causing him to grin.
While Kristen was out of the room, Grace put the clean dishes away, drying anything the lass had missed. When Kristen returned, Grace wet one end of the towel and washed Kristen’s face and hands. “Now, little miss, it is time for bed. Can ye say good night to Sir Bram?”
Perhaps “saying” good night was what Grace intended, but Kristen launched herself at him, hugging him. “Good night, Sir Bwam.”
Without thinking about it, Bram returned her hug and kissed her forehead. “Good night my sweet, wee lassie.”
When Kristen released him, Grace took her by the hand. “Pardon me for a few minutes.”
“Certainly,” he answered and just as he hoped, when she disappeared into the bedroom, she began singing to Kristen. He couldn’t imagine ever tiring of this.
Far too soon she stopped singing, softening to a hum as she always did. He glanced around the room. There was only one chair in the little cottage and it sat by the hearth. There were four stools at the small table where he sat, but he didn’t want to have this conversation with a table between them. Placing one of the stools opposite the chair, he sat on it and leaned his back against the stone face of the hearth, leaving the chair for Grace.
She had said she was tired and when she emerged from the little bedroom she looked it. Perhaps he should have let this go until tomorrow but he didn’t think it could or should wait. She came no farther into the room than the door. With a sigh she said, “So, ye believe we have things to discuss.”
“Aye, I do. Please, come sit down.” She headed towards the table and started to sit in the stool farthest from him. “In the chair, Grace.” He would have laughed if she didn’t look as if she were facing an executioner. She moved to the chair but would not meet his eyes.
“First, ye must know I don’t think ye are a witless child. Far from it. Ye may be the strongest, brightest, most confident woman I have ever met. I wouldn’t want ye ever to think otherwise.”
She finally looked at him, but said nothing, so he continued. “I know the terrible losses ye have suffered in the last year have played a huge part in making ye as strong and independent as ye are. But I fear ye’ve learned to rely so much on yerself, ye fail to see that ye aren’t alone anymore. Ye are right, there is nothing wrong with taking a walk in a summer rain if ye wish to. But there is if ye were doing it because ye didn’t feel ye could ask for help.”
“I didn’t need help. I wanted to walk her home. I…” Grace looked away for a moment. “Are we through now?”
“Nay, we aren’t. Ye were upset that I left an order forbidding ye to walk the headlands alone.”
Anger flashed in her eyes for a moment. “Aye, I was, and ye have explained that ye think it is dangerous.”
“But ye don’t think so.”
She looked at him again. “Nay, I don’t. I told ye once that I have lived my whole life near sea cliffs.”
“But ye haven’t lived yer whole life here.”
“I don’t see the difference.”
“Clearly. But I do. The village ye lived in, was it very large or near other villages?”
“Nay.”
“Did ye know everyone who lived in it?”
“Aye, I did, but I don’t see—”
“Did they know ye? Did they know yer Da would have killed anyone who harmed ye?”
“Aye, I expect they did.”
“Would they have protected ye in his absence?”
“Aye, of course they would. But I—”
“Can ye say the same things now?”
It was the first time he had ever seen her look unsure. She swallowed hard. “Nay.”
“So the village here is much larger, ye don’t know everyone, they don’t know ye and as far as most people believe, ye are under no man’s protection.”
She blinked as if staving off tears. “Aye. I suppose so.”
“Grace, I’m not saying this to hurt ye and I didn’t leave orders about walking the headlands because I don’t think ye know the dangers of the terrain. I know ye have skills with a knife and I hope there isn’t a Sutherland who would try to do ye or Kristen harm in any way, but when ye are alone with her, ye are more vulnerable. So the main reason I left the order was to make it absolutely clear to everyone that ye are under my protection.”
“I’m a clanswoman. I thought that was a given.”
“Sweetling, my responsibilities to ye, my desire to keep ye safe, go much deeper than that.”
“But why? I’m noth—”
“Stop. If ye ever say ye are nothing to me again, ye will sorely try my patience. Grace, ye are everything to me.” He sat forward on the stool taking her hands in his. “I care about ye, I want to guard and protect ye because I adore ye.” He looked into her beautiful green eyes and was lost. “Grace, I love ye.”
*
Grace hadn’t wanted to listen to him. She just wanted him to leave. It was too hard to be around him. As angry as she had been over his high-handed tactics, when she was with him she couldn’t think straight. She had steeled herself before leaving the bedroom. She would show no emotion. Just listen and nod Grace, then he will leave and yer heart will be intact.
But in spite of her resolve, she couldn’t just listen and nod. He stirred her emotions. As he explained why he had left orders about walking alone on the headlands her anger faded. It was not her skills he doubted. She hadn’t considered the things he had. When he told her he wanted everyone to know she was under his protection, she felt valued. She had taken the security of her father’s, and then her husband’s, protection for granted until it was gone.
But when he told her he loved her, her heart fell.
“Ye can’t love me. Ye can’t. I can’t let ye.” Grace felt panic rising. “I can’t do this again. I can’t ever do this again. I will not survive it.”
“Grace, stop.”
“Nay. Ye don’t understand, Bram. I promised myself I would never risk that kind of pain again. I knew I was in serious danger here. But I thought I could just feel a little. I thought I could just experience a whisper, an echo of love. But I can’t. I want it too much and my heart is too fragile. It is better to feel nothing than to love someone who I can never have—someone who is destined to break my heart.”
“Grace, please stop. Listen to me. Why would ye say ye can never have me? I love ye. I’m offering myself to ye and want ye by my side forever.”
She pulled her hands from his. “Nay, Bram. I will be no man’s leman, no matter how much I love him.”
Her words shocked and clearly angered Bram. “I would never ask that of ye, Grace. What have I done that would ever give ye such an idea? How could ye possibly believe I value ye so little?”
Grace stared at him in disbelief. “How could I ever be anything but yer mistress? Ye are betrothed, Bram. Under the law, ye are essentially already married.”
“I am not betrothed.”
Grace was shocked and angered by the blatant lie. “Nay?” She flew out of the chair and across the room to get her loom. “Then why have I been working practically every moment of usable daylight to weave ten ells of intricate ribbon as a gift from yer mother to yer betrothed?”
He looked as if someone had knocked the wind out of him. “Grace, I swear to ye, I am not betrothed. I don’t know why my mother said I was.”
“Why are ye lying to me? Yer father said the same. He—never mind, it d
oesn’t matter.” She turned her back to him, placing the loom on the small table to keep from dropping it.
“Grace, I am not lying to ye. I am not betrothed and I have no idea why my parents suggested otherwise or why they asked ye to do this.”
She ignored him. “God, why have ye abandoned me? I have never asked for much. I haven’t. A healthy child. Aye, Ye granted me that. Keep my husband and father safe on the water and bring them home each night. But Ye let them perish. Restore my mother to good health so I wouldn’t be left alone. Ye denied me. Let me raise my daughter in peace in our little home. Again the answer was nay.”
Bram touched her shoulder. “Grace, stop, listen to me.”
She continued her angry rant against God. “Fine, Lord, I understand, these were things I suppose I didn’t deserve so I asked one more thing. Something small. Please just help me protect my heart. Don’t let me fall in love. I swear I won’t ask for anything else. Just spare me the pain of more loss by not giving me anyone else to love. I can live without love. I can. But even that Ye would not grant me. What have I done? Why do Ye refuse to hear the simplest of my prayers?” she started to sob.
Bram turned her to him and gathered her in his arms. “Wheesht, Grace, please don’t cry.”
*
Bram held her while she sobbed. He had been right earlier, more had happened in the last three days than he knew. How could his parents have done this? They lied to her and set her what seemed to be an impossible task. No wonder she looked tired and needed Teasag’s help with Kristen. He was beyond angry with their interference but he knew he had to set that aside for a while. He needed to help the woman in his arms. The woman who had railed against God for allowing her to fall in love. She loved him.
He scooped her up and walked to the chair, where he sat holding her in his arms. She didn’t fight him. Quite the opposite, she nestled against him, accepting the comfort he offered. When her tears stopped, he said, “My sweet lass, I am so sorry for what ye have been through over the last few days. I’m sorry if the orders I gave made things worse and I am extremely sorry that my parents led ye to believe that I am betrothed. It is true that they seek a betrothal for me to Annice Sinclair but I will not consent to it. I love ye with all my heart. I will have no other wife but ye.”
“That isn’t possible, Bram. Ye know it isn’t.”
“I don’t know that. I will tell him tonight what I think of his interference.”
“Please don’t. Ye don’t know what he might do, who else might be hurt.”
Before he could answer there was a knock at the door. Without thinking he called, “In.”
Ian entered the cottage and on seeing Bram holding Grace on his lap swore, “Damnation, Bram. What are ye thinking?”
Before he could stop her, Grace was out of his lap and across the room. Keeping her back turned from both him and Ian, she appeared to be swiping tears from her face.
Bram followed her, placing himself between Ian and Grace. “Ian, keep yer voice down. Kristen is sleeping and for that matter what the hell are ye doing here?”
Ian shut the door and in a quieter voice said, “What am I doing here? I’m searching for ye, and I prayed I wouldn’t find ye here. Da has been told that ye returned this evening and is furious that ye haven’t bothered to show up for supper yet to give him a report.”
“There is nothing to report. All is well and I had something more important to attend to.”
Ian shook his head. “Bram, this”—he motion towards Grace—“is pure folly.”
“That’s what I have tried to tell him,” said Grace. The plaintive note in her voice tore at Bram’s heart.
Bram turned towards her, taking her in his arms again. “Grace, please don’t lose hope. Let me speak with my father. I love ye and I will see this through.” He lifted her chin and kissed her. It was their first kiss, and far too brief to satisfy him, but her response thrilled him. When he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead on hers. “I swear to ye, I will do what I must to see we are together. But I understand yer fears. Give me a little time to deal with my father.” She nodded but the look of doubt and fear in her eyes spoke volumes. “Good night, my love. Tomorrow is St. John’s Eve. There will be bonfires and dancing. Ye’ll go with me.” He kissed her again, before leaving with Ian.
They were barely out of earshot of the cottage when Ian confronted him. “Have ye completely lost yer mind? What in heaven’s name possessed ye to promise Grace that the two of ye can be together? Ye know that isn’t possible—not unless ye mean to have her as a mistress.”
“I mean to have her as a wife,” snapped Bram.
Ian gave a mirthless laugh. “A wife? Da will never stand for that. How could ye even suggest it? Please tell me ye didn’t say that to her.” Ian cast a glance at him. “By the Almighty, Bram, ye did. Have ye no regard for her or Innes at all? Ye can’t marry her and I saw the way she looked at ye just now. She thinks she loves ye and it will break her heart.”
“I will marry her Ian. I will convince Da.”
Ian shook his head. “This is heading straight for disaster.”
“Thank ye for yer support, Ian,” Bram said bitterly. “If the situation were reversed—”
“Ye would be lecturing me about my responsibilities to the clan. At least one of us is worried about what this will do to the lass.”
Bram stopped and faced his brother. “Don’t ever suggest that I am not concerned about Grace. I told her and I’m telling ye, I will do whatever it takes. I am going to tell Da now.”
“Bram, ye can’t do that.” Ian put his hand up to stop Bram’s argument. “Nay, listen to me. If ye march into that hall and declare in front of the clan members present that ye are going to defy yer laird and marry Grace Breive, what will happen? Da won’t stand for it. He can’t accept that from anyone and maintain the clan’s respect. He could banish ye, and before ye say ye’ll go happily with Grace, think about it. He could refuse to let her go. He is her laird, not ye. Perhaps worse than banishing ye, he could force Grace to marry a man of his choosing immediately. He could drag her up here tonight.”
“He wouldn’t.”
“Keep thinking that way and she could be wedded and bedded before ye can get yer head out of ye arse. Ye might have a hope of swaying him privately but if ye push him in public, he’ll push back. Harder.”
Ian had a point. Bram would willingly face any punishment from their father, but he couldn’t risk Da’s wrath falling on Grace. He had to ensure she was safe before he did anything. “Ye’re right. I will discuss it with him privately, after I am sure he can’t harm Grace.”
“So, what are ye going to tell him now when he asks why ye’re so late for supper?”
“I’ll tell him the truth. Grace and Kristen had been caught out in the rain this afternoon and I brought her home. I just stopped by to make sure the child was well.”
Ian snorted. “That would explain why the child was tucked up in bed and the mother was curled up on yer lap.
“Fine. I stopped by to check on them both.”
Ian nodded. “That’ll raise a few eyebrows but at least it is believable and superficially true.”
Chapter 16
Although it had rained all night, by terce on Friday morning the sun began to break through the clouds. Even though Bram had assured Grace the previous evening he was not betrothed, she thought it best to finish making the ribbon Lady Sutherland had requested.
Just as she had for the last three days, Teasag arrived to help with Kristen but she was more excited than usual. “Tomorrow is the Feast of Saint John the Baptist so tonight there will be bonfires and dancing. I love bonfires and dancing.”
Her enthusiasm was contagious, setting the tone for the day. Grace too began to feel the anticipation. The previous evening, Bram had declared his love for her and even though it scared her, she wanted him in her life. Tonight she would be able to dance with him again and knowing that caused a flutter of excitement in her belly that she hadn�
��t felt in ages.
When time came for the midday meal, Grace decided to take a break so she walked to the kitchens with Teasag and Kristen. The atmosphere in the kitchen seemed tense. Innes said very little and seemed anxious and hurried. Initially Grace thought it might simply be because of the extra work that always led up to a holiday. There would be a feast tomorrow and the preparation would have been underway for days. However, then Grace noticed that several of the women stared boldly at her, disapproval written on their faces.
Something was amiss and now, while she was accompanied by the two lassies, was the wrong time to address it. “Grandmother, I thought we’d just take a wee bite with us and stay out from underfoot today.”
The relief on her grandmother’s face surprised her. Innes’ standard answer to comments like that was that they were always welcome underfoot. Today she said, “Aye, that’s the best idea today.” Then she quickly wrapped bread, cheese, and some smoked fish in a cloth and handed it to Grace. “Oh, and Grace, will ye be able to help me this evening?”
“Aye, of course, Grandmother.”
Something was definitely wrong. Even before Grace had started working on the ribbon, Innes had never asked for her help. Grace had just offered it. For the last few days, when Grace offered to help when daylight waned, Innes refused. Whatever it was, Grace felt sure Innes would tell her later that afternoon. There was no reason to worry about it.
Later, while Kristen napped, Innes came from the kitchens. Teasag had finished weaving her belt and Grace was showing her how to finish it.
Innes smiled at the lass. “That is lovely, Teasag.”
“I’m going to wear it to the festival tonight,” said Teasag proudly.
“Aye, ye should. Are ye excited?” Innes seemed distracted.
Teasag nodded. “Oh, aye. I can’t wait.”
“Well, then, why don’t ye hie yerself home a bit early today. I’m sure Grace can do without ye for the rest of the afternoon.”
Teasag looked to Grace for approval. It was clear to Grace that Innes wanted to speak with her alone. “Aye, Teasag, that is a wonderful idea. Ye can finish knotting this off at home.”
Fated Hearts 02 - Highland Echoes Page 13
