“Aye, we can. Grace, I want ye to be my wife.”
“Bram, stop. That can never happen. Ye know that.”
“Nay, Grace, I don’t.”
“Well, it’s high time ye learned then,” she said bitterly. “Just as I have to learn not to love ye.” Her voice broke with a sob. “Yer da has his own plans. I can’t bear the pain of losing ye. I can’t see ye wed someone else, and I cannot risk what he will do if we marry against his wishes. I won’t. I have lost too much.”
“I know ye have, Grace.” He gathered her into his arms. She rested her head against his chest. Her tears were spent but the pain still flowed off of her in waves. He wanted more than anything to take it away—for her to believe him. He would marry her, but if he insisted now, if he pushed her, he might push her away. It was enough that she was willing to come with him to get Kristen. He would convince her of his love on the way or die trying.
*
The moment Grace had looked up and saw Bram standing behind Mary, her heart leapt. He had come for her. Even though she hurt him and pushed him away, he hadn’t believed the Morrisons’ lies. For three days she had fought to stay in control. She refused to give in or to let anyone see how terrified she really was. But when Bram wrapped her in his arms all of the pain and fear she had reined in for days came bubbling up.
He was warm and strong and in his arms she was safe. This was where she wanted to stay forever. But the little voice inside her, the voice that had kept her strong and refused to let her give in to despair, reminded her that Bram Sutherland could never be hers. She had given in to the comfort he offered in the moment, but she could not let that happen again. She had no doubt that he wanted to marry her—just as much as she longed to be his wife. That didn’t change the facts. He was destined to marry another and if she did marry him, Laird Sutherland would kill her. The more she let herself love him now, the more losing him would hurt.
Finally, she took a deep breath and stepped away from him. “Please, I have been away from my daughter too long.”
“Aye, ye have. Are these yer things?” He picked up her small bundle of belongings.
She nodded, feeling suddenly shy after losing all control and sobbing on him.
“Then let’s go,” he said, placing a hand in the small of her back and walking her through the door into the shop.
“So yer goin’ with him?” asked Dugald.
“Aye, he’ll help me get Kristen. I’ll come back as soon as I can.”
“Ye’ll always be welcome here, ye ken?” he asked.
“Aye, lass, always,” said Mary.
“Thank ye, both. Ye don’t know what that means to me.” She gave them each a hug. When she turned back to Bram, his expression was inscrutable.
“I owe ye a great debt,” said Bram. “Thank ye.”
They stepped out of the shop into the bright morning sun. She glanced around at Bram’s men. Some had been in the hall the day she was dragged away. Her eyes came to rest on Donal.
He bowed low to her. “My lady, I am so very sorry.”
“I’m not yer lady. I’m just Grace and ye were following yer laird’s orders.”
“But…” He hesitated. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Bram shake his head ever so slightly. “Ah…nevertheless, I am sorry,” Donal said.
She wasn’t sure what that had been about, but she suddenly felt awkward and weary. She didn’t want to sort out what it meant. Her eyes landed on Ian.
He smiled. “Ye’re looking well, Grace.”
It was perhaps the most outrageous thing anyone had ever said to her. She knew she looked anything but well. She looked down at her bandaged feet and a smile tugged at her lips. “Ye’re a liar, Ian Sutherland.”
It was evidently the first Bram had noticed her feet. “What in the name of all that’s holy happened to yer feet?”
She shrugged. “I tried to escape the first morning. Roddy punished me by making me walk barefooted.”
Bram looked livid. “I will kill him. I will find him now and kill him.”
Ian shook his head, “Nay, don’t do that, brother. It would be far too quick and easy. Conan said Fearchar Morrison will make him suffer for losing Grace. Let him and let’s go home. Maybe someday ye’ll have the opportunity to separate Fearchar’s head from his shoulders.” He gave Grace a look filled with determination. “If ye don’t, I pray I do.”
Bram drew several breaths, appearing to calm his ire. Then he nodded. “Aye, home.” Grace gasped in surprise as he scooped her into his arms, striding to where Goliath stood.
“Ye don’t need to carry me, I’m able to walk.”
“Able to and allowed to are two different things.”
“Ye can’t keep me from walking, Bram Sutherland.”
“Nay? Watch me,” he said as he put her on Goliath’s back before mounting behind her.
She turned to scowl at him but he grinned, before kissing her furrowed brow. Then he called to his men, “We’re off, lads.”
He had kissed her. In front of his brother and guardsmen. What was he thinking? “Bram, ye can’t do that,” she whispered.
“We’ve already been through this and I assure ye, I intend to make certain yer feet have time to heal.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she hissed.
“Then what else do ye think I can’t do?”
“Ye can’t just kiss me…in front of yer men.”
“Oh. Ye mean like this?” He tipped her chin up with one hand, lightly kissing her lips.
Dear God, the feel of his lips on hers was wonderful. What would it be like to…nay she could not allow herself to imagine a life as his wife. She frowned, looking away. His arm tightened around her, pulling her closer.
*
When they stopped that evening by the shore of a small loch, to Grace’s frustration, Bram was true to his word. He carried her to a plaid he had spread on the ground. If he had ordered her to stay put, she would have had no trouble ignoring him, but he did something much worse. He knelt beside her and, taking her hands in his, he kissed her palms. Then he captured her gaze with his crystal blue eyes. “Please, Grace, let me take care of ye this evening. I know ye can walk. Please don’t. Let me do this.”
Asked so tenderly, she couldn’t deny him. All she could do was nod.
After the men had settled the horses for the night, they went for a swim in the loch, leaving Grace and Bram alone. He brought her a costrel of fresh water, oatcakes, dried beef, and a pear. He sat beside her but didn’t say anything for quite a while. She ate quietly, not knowing what to say or how to break the silence.
“Grace, I need for ye to listen to me.”
She arched an eyebrow at him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He smiled and looked away for a moment. “I can’t tell ye how much it makes my heart ache when I think of all that’s happened to ye over the last few days and weeks. Considering much of it, God’s bones, all of it was because of me…I’m sorry.”
“Bram—”
“Nay, Grace, let me finish. I would not have seen ye hurt for anything and yet as we rode today, I thanked God that I was simply able to hold ye in my arms all day because of it. I want to get ye back to Kristen and Innes but I dread it. This morning ye said I had already lost ye. Please Grace, I don’t think I can bear that. I want the right to hold ye in my arms every day. I want to build a life with ye and Kristen.”
“Bram, how is that possible?”
“It’s possible if ye marry me.”
“I can’t marry ye.”
“Why?”
“Because the alliance with the Sinclairs is important. It is for the good of the clan.” Laird Sutherland’s words spilled out of her mouth, feeling empty even as she said them.
Bram ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “I don’t care. I love ye more than words can say. I can’t imagine a life with anyone else. Please say it is the same with ye.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Ye know it is. But that doesn’t
change the fact that yer father won’t let ye marry me. Ye were born a nobleman. Ye are to be the laird. Ye have obligations to yer family and clan.”
“Those sound like my father’s words.”
“It doesn’t make them less true.”
“I refuse to believe that marrying ye will cause irreparable damage to the clan. We will find another way to build an alliance with the Sinclairs. I am destined to be chief. Does that mean I cannot also have the woman I love beside me?”
“Aye, it does. Ye can’t marry a poor widow from the islands. Yer father won’t allow it. The clan would despise and revile me. They already do.”
“I told ye, Grace, I don’t care what my father wants and the clan will see the truth. I will do anything else required of me but I will follow my heart this one time.”
Grace shook her head. “I cannot risk yer father’s wrath.”
“I have heard all of the reasons ye believe we can’t marry. Putting my father, the clan, and anything else that ye think stands in our way aside, do ye wish to marry me?”
“Bram, ye know I do. I love ye from the depths of my soul. Life without ye…” Her voice broke. “Life without ye…will be empty. I don’t know how I will survive.” A tear slipped down her cheek.
He gathered her in his arms. “Grace, don’t cry. Please don’t cry. We can do this. I swear we can. There is a Dominican Abbey that isn’t far out of our way. We should reach it tomorrow evening. We’ll be married before we reach Castle Sutherland. There will be nothing anyone can do. The clan will accept it. My father will accept it. They will have no choice.”
“Nay, Bram. Absolutely not. We can’t.”
“Why do ye believe so firmly that we can’t?”
Grace grasped for an excuse. Anything that would prevent her telling him his father threatened her life. “Because it’s wrong.”
“Nay Grace, it isn’t. It’s what’s right for us.”
“Bram, ye know why my parents fled to Lewis, why Da never let Innes know where he was or even that he was alive.”
“Aye, yer mother’s da was against the marriage.”
“But they married anyway and they hurt so many people.”
“Grace, I am sorry yer parents had to make that choice, but I finally understand it. If it meant we had to run away and never see my clan or family again in order to be together, I would do it. But love, that won’t happen. My father will be angry, the clan elders will be disappointed, but they will get over it.”
“Ye don’t understand.”
“I understand something is scaring ye. Please, tell me what it is.”
Grace she saw no other choice, she had to tell him. “Bram, when yer da told me I had to turn ye away, he threatened me with a forced marriage. I didn’t know to whom. I didn’t know how that person might treat Kristen and I couldn’t bear the idea of being married to anyone but ye. But that threat was mild compared to what he said he would do if we eloped. If we did that, he said he would find us, kill me before yer eyes, banish ye, and because Kristen is a Sutherland, she would be left in his care.”
“Oh for the love of God, Grace, I am so sorry but I wish ye had told me. It was an empty threat. He only meant to scare ye out of marrying me and it worked. But I swear to ye, he would never do that.”
“Ye don’t know that for certain. It is exactly what my mother’s father threatened.”
“Grace, I am certain. He is as callous and rigid a man as ye’ll ever meet. He might be angry enough to banish us. If he does, we will build a life somewhere else, as yer parents did, but he would never kill ye. I swear to ye, we won’t be in fear for our lives as yer parents were. But frankly, I’m no longer convinced he’ll even banish us. I suspect we will simply have to weather the storm for a bit after we tell him.”
“I wish I was as sure as ye are.” She rested her head on his chest. She wanted this. With her whole heart she wanted to spend the rest of her life with this man, by his side, in his arms. Grace wanted to believe him. She wanted to put her happiness—their happiness—first and trust that everything would be fine, but could she? She tried to explain her hesitation. “Bram, when I read Da’s letter to Grandmother I was shocked. I thought their choice was selfish, that they had pushed aside duty, loyalty, clan honor, even loved ones for their own desires. It had caused grandmother so much pain. I can’t help but think my mother’s family and clan experienced the same, even if her father wanted only vengeance.”
“Innes mentioned yer Da’s letter but neither of ye have ever said much about yer mother’s family. Was she from a Highland clan?”
She had promised her mother to keep the secret, but she couldn’t. She had to tell Bram. “Aye, she was. Do ye remember how shocked yer da was that my father ran away? How he didn’t believe my da would hide from any man?”
“Aye, I do.”
“He wasn’t just any man. He was a powerful laird.”
“Yer gradda is the laird of a clan? Who he is.”
“I can’t tell ye that.”
“For the love of all that is holy, Grace, why not? This could be the answer. We could negotiate a betrothal with him. If he is a powerful laird, allying with him could be a very good thing.”
“I can’t tell ye, because I don’t know who he is.”
“What do ye mean, ye don’t know?”
“My mother never told me. She refused to. In fact, she said I was never to seek out her family.”
“Why not? Things have changed, Grace. Yer parents are no longer in danger.”
“My mother believed that my grandfather would see me as a commodity. I understand better now what she meant. Noble marriages can feel like cold business transactions.”
“But don’t ye see, my beautiful lass? Ours doesn’t have to be. We love each other already. If we could find out who yer grandfather was…”
Grace finished his sentence. “He might refuse the betrothal. He might even do it out of spite for what my parents did. It is possible he would thank ye for returning his property and marry me off to someone of his choosing.” Bram’s expression darkened. “Ye know I’m right. Ye have no claim on me. He could demand my return. Then we would be in an even worse position. If ye failed to return me to him, it could start a feud. Instead of gaining an ally, ye would have an enemy. Please, Bram, ye have to understand, ye have lived yer whole life amongst the nobility. My only experience with men who have power is…fear. I want to believe ye, I do. I know ye love yer da, and I’m certain he loves ye. Perhaps that’s why I firmly believe he would kill me if he thought it was in yer best interest.”
“Grace—”
“Please stop, Bram. How can I make ye understand? Parents make different decisions. I’m not certain I could kill someone to protect myself, but I would bury a knife in yer da’s chest without blinking before I let him hurt my daughter. Although he thinks I’m insolent, I have tried to treat him with respect but he has only shown me cruelty. I have no reason to believe he is any different from my grandda, or Fearchar Morrison, particularly where it concerns ye.”
*
Just as he had in Mary’s kitchen, Bram knew once again he needed to drop the argument for the moment. He was beginning to understand a parent’s love. He too would bury a knife in his father’s chest to save Kristen from harm. What’s more, he would do the same to save Grace. However, he firmly believed he would never have to. His father was different from the men she feared.
Bram slept that night with Grace in his arms. Nothing had ever felt so perfect. He woke just before dawn but simply continued to lay with her, holding her a bit longer while all was still. Somehow he would find a way to convince her to marry him tonight. Then she would be his forever. He rose silently, tucking the plaid around her. Ian had taken the last watch. He walked to where his brother leaned against a tree.
“Did ye persuade her?” Ian asked.
Bram hadn’t said anything to the men when they returned from the loch. “Not yet.”
“Ye know it isn’t Michael,” said Ian.<
br />
“Aye, I know that. It’s Da.”
“Does that surprise ye? If it weren’t for Kristen, I’m certain she’d never set foot on Sutherland land again.”
“I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. What shocked me was the threat Da used against her.”
“Michael told me he intended to force Grace into a marriage to prevent ye from marrying her.”
“Aye, but that’s not the worst he did. He told her if we eloped, he would kill her before my eyes, banish me, and Kristen would be left in his care.”
Ian laughed. “She didn’t believe him?”
“Aye, she did.” Bram told him about Grace’s mother.
“By the saints, that explains a few things. It wasn’t that Tristan feared a single man. He would have been up against an army. One warrior, no matter how skilled, could not defend himself or his loved ones against that.”
“Aye, and her mother believed the threat was real.”
“But ye know Da wouldn’t kill Grace. And ye also know, even if something did happen to her, he would never harm that bairn. Mother would kill him first. Besides, he likes the little imp.”
“Grace doesn’t believe that. Ye know Da wields intimidation better than any man alive and he has terrified her. On top of what she believes about her grandda and what that evil bastard Morrison did, she is willing to believe the worst. But I have to change her mind, and soon. I want to marry her at the abbey tonight, before we go home.”
Ian sucked in a sharp breath. “Ye’re sure this is the best course, Bram? “Da will be furious. He won’t kill her, but neither will he accept it lightly and she’s bound to get hurt in the process.”
“I don’t see another option. I won’t risk losing her again and the only sure way to prevent that is to marry her before we return.”
“Aye, I suppose ye’re right.”
Bram frowned. “He may banish us, Ian.”
“After all he has done to keep ye from leaving, I don’t think he will.”
“I’m not certain either, but if he does…”
Ian shook his head. “We’re not going to talk about this. He won’t.”
After a few moments of quiet, Bram said, “Ye needn’t be a part of this. There is no reason to make Da angry with ye as well. As long as I can convince her to, Grace and I will go to the abbey alone. Ye’ll be home by midday tomorrow. We won’t be too long behind.”
Fated Hearts 02 - Highland Echoes Page 25
