“Just tell me the truth, Jay.”
“I got a call from Malcolm, while I was at work, telling me he dropped Jess off at my house because she had to get something. He didn’t have time to take her back to his crib because he had to go to work. So he asked me whenever I had the chance if I could pick Jessica up from my house and take her back to his place. I showed up here, and she was already packed . . . um . . . like ready to go, but she told me she was going with Chris, and that’s how the whole argument started.”
I’m talking fast, and Angela just stares at me for a long time. Her face is now much more relaxed. Finally, she sighs, says “whatever,” and moves over so I can get off the bed and start getting ready. I go to take my shower away from her glaring almond-shaped eyes.
As soon as I turn on the shower, Jessica pops into my mind, and I wonder if she’s all right. Hell, I wonder if she’s still alive. I feel the urge to drive past his house to see if I can see anything suspicious, but I shake it off. It’s her life, like she said, and if anything happens to her, that’s on her. I lean my head against the shower wall and let the water run over my face. I hate thinking like that about her, but I hate just being okay with her decision. What the fuck was she thinking?
Angela pulls back the curtain and my heart drops. “What the fuck is you doin’?” I ask with a hand over my heart.
She’s naked and looking sexy with her small breasts, wide hips, and thick thighs.
“I wanted to join you,” she says, stepping into the shower.
After we dry each other off, Angela lies down on the bed as I start to get dressed for work. I could have enjoyed the head she gave me in the shower a lot more if I could’ve gotten my mind off Jessica.
Angela smiles at me as I slide on my jeans, and I smile back. “Jay, you know my mom was thinking about charging me rent to stay with her.”
“Aw, for real?”
“Yeah, so I told her, ‘I ain’t gonna spend no money to stay here with you.’ Then I thought about you.” She smiles. “Why don’t I move in here with you? I’ll be closer to work, to you, and not have to deal with my mom with her crazy ass.”
“Uh . . .” I look at the clock and make a fake panic face. I grab my keys and wallet from the dresser. “We’ll talk about it later. I gotta go.”
#
I pull up to Malcolm’s apartment as soon as I finish my shift at the bar. I use my spare key to let myself in and find him on the couch watching the game in his drawers, but it’s his house so I can’t say shit. “What up?” I say as we shake hands. I take a seat next to him on the couch. “I see you watching Kobe.”
“Hell yeah, that’s my nigga.” Malcolm’s nodding his head as he talks, like there’s music playing. “What you up to, though?” I just shake my head. “You still thinking about Jessica? I called her, and she said she was all right. I told her if anything happen she can call me.”
“I’m trying to keep her off my mind. You know she dead to me, right?”
“Yeah, she mentioned that to me over the phone,” he says. He reaches in front of him to grab his beer. “She asked if you was still mad, and I said yeah.”
“I’m surprised she cared. She didn’t care what I thought when she got in the car with that nigga.”
Malcolm shrugs. “I knew she was still in love with him.” I don’t say anything for a while and just watch the game. Eventually, Malcolm turns to me and asks, “So if you didn’t come here to talk about Jess, what you come here to talk about?”
“Oh, yeah. Angela wants to move in with me I don’t know if that’s gon’ work.”
“I thought her mom was making her stay with her.”
“Yeah, but now she’s charging her rent, so Angela wants to move in with me. Don’t get me wrong. I love Angela. She’s my ‘ride or die’ chick, but we act too much alike sometimes, and I know we gon’ be bumping heads in that house.”
Malcolm chuckles. “What couple don’t fight, though?”
“We don’t argue a lot. It’s just . . . I don’t know. You know I’m not really the commitment type. The next thing she gon’ want to do is get married,” I say, leaning my head back. “You got another beer, bro?”
“Yeah. But it’s self-serve, nigga.” He nods toward the kitchen, and I get up. “Yeah, you right about the getting-married part. Don’t get me wrong—she gon’ play wifey for a while, though. Don’t get her ass pregnant, then she really gonna want the ring.”
I laugh. “We’ve been together for like five months almost, so it’s too early for all that marriage talk.”
“Yeah, but her moving in with you is the next step before that ring, bro. I’m telling you.”
“Yeah, I hear you.” I don’t say anything for a while and just watch the game. Then the thought of Angela bringing up marriage starts nagging me. “What would you do if a woman wanted to move in with you?”
Malcolm smiles. “Now, you know—”
“Yeah, I know you get more hoes than cows get grass, but what I’m saying is how would you deal with someone that wanted to take it to that next level with you?”
He looks at me for a while before he lets out a breath. “You know, you don’t have to move in with her. Just tell her you ain’t ready.”
“Yeah, just make me sound like a bitch.” We laugh.
“Nah, I mean, if a woman wanted to move in with me, I’d kick their ass out on the spot. If you got your own home, why you need to stay with me? I can’t imagine myself living with my girlfriend. I can’t imagine myself in a relationship, girlfriend-boyfriend, with someone at all.”
I hold eye contact with him. “Are you gay, bro?”
Malcolm’s face drops, and I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. “Nigga, I’ll beat yo’ ass,” he says, looking down at me on the floor. “Get yo’ weak ass up. It ain’t that damn funny.”
I crawl back on the couch and wipe my eyes. “For real though, bro. Why you don’t want to be in a relationship?”
Malcolm leans back and keeps his eyes on the TV. “Just don’t. But what you need to do is figure out why you want to her to move in with you and not just because she needs a place to stay.”
I nod. “Yeah, I know. Probably won’t be that bad as long as we stay on that level.”
He snorts. “Just remember you the one that’s gon’ be proposing so she ain’t got no choice but to wait, when you really think about it.”
“Yeah, you right about that.”
“So what you gon’ do?” Malcolm asks, eyeing me.
I lean back into the couch. “I don’t know. Just wing it, I guess. If she wants to stay, she can. I ain’t about to have her on the streets since she can’t stay at her mom’s.”
Malcolm nods just as my phone starts to ring. “Here she is now” I answer, “Hello.”
“Where you at?” Angela asks.
“Malcolm’s. I’ll be home soon.”
“I want to go out to dinner.”
“Why tonight?” I ask, rubbing my temple.
“Ain’t nothing here to cook.”
“How about I order something or bring something back?” I hear her sigh. Eventually she says fine and hangs up. “Damn. I love her, but she just . . . something. Sometimes, man, I swear. You lucky you single.”
“That ain’t luck; that’s planning.”
We laugh and chill for about another hour before Angela starts calling again. I decide to call it a night since I’m tired and getting hungry myself. I pick up some Chinese food and drive home.
Angela’s up waiting for me on the couch looking sexy as she pouts with only my oversized T-shirt to clothe her. I’m not sure what she has on underneath, but I bet it ain’t much. She stands up when she sees me and reaches for the food.
“Oh, no,” I say, holding the food above her head so she can’t reach it. “You been acting funny all day. You need to make it up to me.”
“Whaaat?” she whines, stretching her hand to the bag. “You’re the one who left me.”
I smile. “Nah, that’s not
how it happened.”
She rolls her eyes and stops reaching for the bag, and I figure she’s tired of being made fun of for her lack of height. She comes to my shoulder, but she has short arms, and she was always teased for it. She walks toward the kitchen table and sits down and waits for me to show up there with her food. She looks like she’s going to get an attitude, so I lay the food down in front of her.
Angela smiles softly and starts to rip right into the food. She pauses only to give me a questionable look. “Did you think about me moving in? I think we’re ready.”
I shrug. I really have no excuse for her not to, and I don’t want to have to keep arguing with her every day about it. Besides, there are more important things to worry about, like leasing a good building for my sports bar and hiring staff. Not to mention the fact that I can’t get Jessica off my mind no matter what the hell I’m doing.
I stare at Angela and note that she looks more tired than usual. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah, I was just arguing with my mom. I told her I was staying here, and she’s pissed about it. But, like, why the fuck should I care? ‘What, you thought I was going to stay there forever or something?’ Ain’t she crazy?” I nod and she continues. “So, I’m like, ‘I’ll leave whenever I want to leave,’ and she’s all ‘You don’t know what the hell you’re doing, you’re stupid, and blah de blah blah.’ Ugh. I couldn’t wait to get off the phone with her, but if I would have hung up in her face, I would have been in the wrong.”
“Yeah, probably. So when you gonna move your things in?” I ask.
She stops munching to speak again. “As soon as possible.”
Chapter 14
I stare hard at the contract in front of me, let out a sigh, and then lean my head back in my chair. I finally found a building to put my next sports bar in, but the details of this contract aren’t as concrete as I’d like them to be. Loose ends here, not enough details there, too strict here. I need to call my lawyer to look this over for me.
I pick up my phone, when Malcolm walks into my office. His smile is halfhearted, and I know something is bothering him. He comes in and sits across from me.
“What up, bro?” I say. “You all right?”
He shrugs. “Um . . . I don’t know.”
I put the phone down and stare at his eyes. He’s definitely hiding something from me. My face grows serious, and I fold my hands and lean forward. “You coming out to me, bro?” I’m not serious, but I make him crack a smile.
“Hell, nah, nigga,” He shows his teeth for a few seconds before he frowns. “I ain’t heard from Jessica in a minute.”
When I don’t say anything to him, he continues. “The last thing I heard from her was that she was getting offended that I felt I had to keep checking up on her and that I shouldn’t call as much. Keep in mind I was only calling once or twice a week. She said she’ll call me if anything comes up, so I said okay. That was two months ago.”
I lean back in my chair again. “That means she’s okay, bro.”
Malcolm waves me off. “Nah, nah. Let me finish. I just ran into Jess at the grocery store like thirty minutes ago. We talked, and she was happy. Very, very happy. She asked about you. She was smiling. And I just kept thinking, ‘Why is this girl so happy?’”
“She can’t be happy?”
Malcolm rolls his eyes. “No, bro, that’s not what I meant. I was like, why you so happy, and she said . . .” He pauses like he doesn’t want to tell me. He shakes his head, leans back, and stares off into space. “She said she’s engaged to that nigga, bro.”
PART THREE
Jessica
Chapter 15
I roll around in my bed until I face the wall. Chris is still in the shower. I take a deep breath and smile. I can’t believe Chris proposed to me last night. I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised, given the circumstances.
My smile fades when I think about seeing Malcolm today. I hadn’t seen him in three months, and even though I asked him how Jaylen was doing, he only gave me a vague answer. I don’t want to admit it, but I wanted to know if Jaylen was sorry for what he said to me. I know my going back to Chris was a hard pill to swallow, but I’m happy. If Jaylen can’t accept my desire to be happy, then I don’t know what else to say about it.
I look out of the window, and I’m able to spot the moon. It’s shining orange like the sun, and I snuggle deeper into the bed. I close my eyes as I hear the shower turn off, and my mind shifts back to Jaylen. I don’t know why I miss him so much, but I hate the last words I said to him. He and Malcolm were the only real friends I ever had, and now I feel like I’m really by myself.
Chris promised to never hit me again or cheat on me. He changed his number and allowed me to pick out the password for the phone. He changed his work schedule so that he works all night and stays home with me during the day so he will have less “tempting moments.” I admit that I wasn’t sure he would keep all his promises, but he has, and I can’t be happier.
The bedroom door opens, and the smell of Ivory soap and hot steam fills the air. I inhale deeply and turn around. Chris is wearing only his towel and a smirk on his face as he winks at me. I smile back and stare at his muscled chest and stomach. His skin is about two shades lighter than mine, and his eyes are a bright brown.
Chris drops his towel and crawls in beside me. I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heart beat. He starts to rub my back and tug my hair softly.
“You still feeling sick?” he asks, staring down at me.
“Yeah, just a little, but I’m fine. Just need to get to sleep, that’s all.”
He nods and squeezes my shoulders. “All right, but since I’m off tonight and tomorrow, how about we go to the club tomorrow night? We got a lot to celebrate,” he says, reaching over and rubbing my stomach.
I snuggle closer and rest a leg on top of his thigh. “What do you think we should name it if he’s a boy?”
“Chris.”
“What about a girl?”
“Chrissy,” he says. I laugh and wrap my arms around him.
Chapter 16
The next morning I feel a lot worse than the night before. I throw up twice before Chris even wakes up, and after he wakes up, I realize I’m too weak to even fix his breakfast. Of course, he says it’s no big deal and makes himself a bowl of cereal.
I lie out on the couch with my robe on, and Chris is by my feet watching ESPN. I haven’t eaten anything yet because I’m afraid it won’t stay down. “You want some white soda or something?” Chris asks.
I shake my head, and he goes back to watching TV. It won’t be till the late afternoon that I might feel like eating something. It’s just that I hate throwing up so much that I don’t want to take the chance. I settle for drinking water.
“How many months are you?” Chris asks. I find his staring annoying.
“I don’t know. A month maybe. I’m not even showing yet,” I say.
“Well, how many months into it do you start showing?” he asks, a little louder than necessary. I know he isn’t doubting that I’m pregnant. I’ve been throwing up like crazy.
“I don’t know, Chris. We haven’t been to the doctor yet. When we go there he can tell us how many months I am into the pregnancy,” I say. He seems satisfied with that answer and turns his eyes to the TV.
After I finish eating a ham sandwich, I feel a lot better. Chris is still lying on the couch, but says he’ll be ready when I come out of the bathroom.
I get in the shower, and my mind goes back to Chris questioning why I’m not showing yet and how long I’ve been pregnant. I wish I knew. I look down at my stomach and notice a baby bump. What was Chris talking about? Of course I’m pregnant, and I’m showing. Did he just think this was fat or something? Why is he trying to make sure I’m pregnant?
Then I think back to when I moved back in with him three months ago. Yes, he was being good and keeping all his promises, but he was also so . . . passionate. We were making love every day, if not twice a day.
And he would always ask me how I felt and if I was okay. We were having sex with the lights off, which was making my memory a little blurry.
I reach for the soap and start lathering my body. It isn’t until I’m cleaning my thighs that I understand. Or think I do. I might be wrong, and I have no way to prove he hasn’t been doing it. I think Chris has been trying to get me pregnant. He wanted me pregnant, and now he’s making sure I’m really pregnant.
I rinse off and hop out the shower. I feel like I’m in a daze as I slide a towel over my body. Why would Chris want me pregnant? I shake my head and tell myself that being pregnant isn’t a bad thing. So what if he wants me to have his baby? What the hell is wrong with that? And he’s my fiancé, so it’s a pretty sweet deal. I’m finally gonna have a family of my own.
We leave for the club about forty-five minutes later. Chris is smiling at my blue low-cut dress and tells me that he’s going to show me off to his friends when we get to the club. I smile back and tell him how handsome he looks in his tan button-up shirt, slacks, and jewelry. We pull up to this club called Lacey. We stroll in and sit in a booth not too far from the dance floor. I’m wearing my blue heels, but I ain’t afraid to show my dance moves on the floor no matter how bad Jaylen said they were.
Chris heads to the bar to get himself a drink and me a white soda. I’m nodding my head to the music and starting to relax. I lean back and close my eyes. I open them again when I hear cursing and screaming coming from the next booth. From what I can hear, some woman wearing a blue dress as well came here and ran into two of her lovers, and she is being chewed out for it. I feel bad for the woman somehow. To be a hoe and be caught on yo’ shit. Damn. Eventually I stop listening and focus my attention on the dance floor, where women are grinding like it paid the bills. The guys are dancing behind them holding the girls’ ass against their crotches. I stare at one couple in particular with the guy gripping the girl tight and hard against him like he doesn’t want her to leave and dance with another dude. And that’s when it hits me.
When Love Hurts Page 6
