by Rinelle Grey
It all came down to what she planned to do with that information. He could hardly fault her for using it against him if he tried to attack her people. That was the last thing he wanted to do, but he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t.
He remembered how she had looked at him in the shuttle bay, and how gentle her hands had been. She hadn’t tried to harm him, even then. She had told the guards to back off.
Even if their technology was extremely sophisticated, and nothing he’d seen so far indicated that it was, it would take months for them to learn enough to be a risk to him. He could walk out of this room now, go straight to the shuttle bay, and leave, and there was little anyone could do to stop him.
Even with all that rationalising, he found it hard to trust her. He’d been burned too many times before for it to come easy.
But he wanted to.
Her people were different. First Kerit, and now her. They weren’t put off by his outward experience. They seemed to be able to see past it, to really see who he was, not just what he could do.
He took a deep breath, and held the instrument against his chest as she had done.
He wasn’t sure what he expected to hear. Not anything like her own thumping sound, he knew that. But the alien hissing and clanking sounded foreign, even to him.
It occurred to him that if she worked with him, he could perhaps learn a little bit himself, about who he was now.
He shied away from the thought. Did it even matter? He was what he was, there was no going back, yet he couldn’t accept what he had become. He didn’t need to know the inner workings of this strange body to know that it wasn’t designed with peace in mind.
How could he ever find peace with himself when his whole body was designed for war?
Why was he even still trying? He had hoped he could reverse the metamorphosis at one point, but he’d given up on that when he had discovered that the Metamorphosis Device was pin coded.
Was there any chance she could help him?
A sliver of hope carved its way through a minute crack in the black armour surrounding him.
Chapter 4
As she listened to the strange hissing and gurgling sounds in his chest, Amelie wondered what she had gotten herself in to. She didn’t even know where to start with figuring out what made this alien tick.
It wasn’t like she had his full cooperation. He’d made his distrust completely clear. She’d thought she’d lost him when he fled from the med bay.
If he’d taken Folly’s ship and the AWP though, they would have been in dire trouble.
He’d been so close. She couldn’t have stopped him if he’d pushed past them and taken the ship. But he hadn’t.
As soon as she touched him, he’d stopped. Why she didn’t know, and she wasn’t sure how long it would last, or how far she could push it.
She made a mental note to tell Tyris to lock the shuttle bay.
Perhaps he had been right to be suspicious of the alien after all.
And yet, most of the fear she’d felt earlier had evaporated. Was it because the alien had stopped when she’d told him to, or did it have something to do with the way his armour had felt under her hand? She’d expected it to be hard and cold, yet, it hadn’t. It had been as warm as her own skin, maybe a little warmer. Though it had been firm, it wasn’t hard like metal. It felt… alive.
Amelie gave herself a shake. Of course the alien felt alive. It was alive.
It just wasn’t human.
She still needed to stay alert around him. She wasn’t stupid, as the men Tyris has assigned to guard the alien had implied when she’d refused to step aside and let them handle the situation, but nothing they had been doing had had any impact on Kugah. The only hope of stopping him next time he decided to do what he liked, was to find out how he worked.
Still, she was glad the med bay was empty right now. Somehow, Kugah’s presence made the room seem far more crowded than it had at any other time since she’d arrived, even though the guards had waited outside, as she had asked them to.
Amelie patted the examining table. Kugah stared at her, his dark eyes completely emotionless.
What was he was thinking? Did he know what a doctor was? Could he understand that she had no intention of hurting him? He sat on the edge of the bed, and it creaked under him. She should have weighed him.
There were so many things she should do she barely knew where to start. She collected some implements on her tray, opening the sealed packets. Could she take samples of the alien’s armour? Would he object? Even if he didn’t, could a sample be removed with a simple scalpel?
She turned around to assess the armour again, and was disconcerted to find Kugah had stood up and was only a hand span away, staring at her. His eyes were so solid and featureless, they gave no clue as to what he was thinking.
Strangely, she didn’t feel any fear. She was too curious to be afraid.
What was his own home planet like? From his appearance, she could guess it was very different, but were there similarities as well?
It was a pity they couldn’t understand each other. She would love to hear about his world.
He thumped his chest, startling her. “Kugah,” he said in a growl. Then he reached out towards her.
Amelie was so startled she didn’t have time to pull back. He tapped her chest gently, just above her breasts, and then waited.
“Amelie. Uh, I mean, Dr Benton.” Best to keep the relationship professional.
He frowned.
Amelie bit back a sigh. Too much all at once. He couldn’t possibly repeat all that, or even know which part was her name and which wasn’t. “Amelie,” she repeated.
It was all for ease of communication. Not because she didn’t feel like this was your typical doctor/patient relationship.
The dark slit that was the alien’s mouth twisted and grimaced, obviously struggling with the sounds. “GeeGee.”
It was close. Sort of. “A-me-lie,” she repeated, trying to slow the sounds so he could hear all of them.
“KaGeeGee.”
He wasn’t going to get closer, not any more than they could replicate his name, so Amelie nodded. She looked up at him, half expecting him to smile. But the expression on his face remained locked in dark, impassive blankness.
Instead, he put a hand on her shoulder.
Amelie couldn’t help jerking her head around to stare at his hand. The spurs were hidden, but she knew they were in there. Despite the fact that his hands had enough strength to break bones with a single motion, they were surprisingly gentle.
He made a sound, low in his throat, almost like a croon.
Amelie snapped her head back to stare at him. His fingers lifted off her shoulder, and ran, very gently, through the tips of her hair.
Was he… coming on to her? Damn those blank eyes. She could tell nothing.
She forced her breathing to slow. Of course he wasn’t. He was an alien. He had no idea about what was too close or had sexual overtures in her culture.
He’d just never felt hair before. He was curious. That’s all.
But he was all together way too close. She stepped back, slowly, careful not to move too quickly. She waved at the bed again, and opened her mouth to say something, but the words caught in her throat.
He was staring at her.
She cleared her throat, then forced out, “If you’ll just sit down…”
*****
He’d done something to upset her. But he wasn’t sure what.
Or rather, he was pretty sure that touching her hair had upset her. He just didn’t know why.
He hadn’t meant to, but it had brushed his hand as she swung her head around, and it was just so silky soft, he had to feel it.
He hadn’t felt softness in so long. Nothing was soft on his body. It was all hard, and even if he’d tried to touch it, he wouldn’t be able to feel it.
In contrast, everything about her was so soft and gentle, it registered with all his senses. Her touch, her voice, her
breath, even her heartbeat, all of it seemed to cut through all the hardness and violence and speak straight to his soul.
The fact terrified him, but he couldn’t make himself pull back.
Luckily, she had. Her sharp, business-like manner pulled him back to reality. The reality where he was stuck on an alien spaceship waiting for them to be ready to help him find a new home.
Maybe he could share their home, wherever they found? The humans seemed to require the same environment that he did, nitrogen, water, carbon. Well, they seemed to be a little more sensitive than he was, since they hadn’t lived in the ruined city he’d found on their planet.
Chances are, they could co-exist on the same planet, in completely different areas, and never even see each other.
No. He was getting sidetracked. That wasn’t his plan.
He needed to be alone. Away from all other life forms.
It was safer that way.
Chapter 5
Kugah followed the guards down the hallway towards Amelie’s rooms for the third day in a row, trying to keep his step even and his speed normal. If he pushed past the guards and walked at the pace he wanted to, they would be sure something was up.
They wouldn’t believe that he was just pleased to be on his way to see her.
He knew this was going to fall apart eventually. How could it not? She was a scientist, and with all the tests she’d been running on him for the last few days, she was sure to be finding out more than he wanted her to know. Whether she was planning on using the information she was gathering to find a weakness and attack him, or to try to make her own people stronger, he didn’t know. She had to be collecting it for some reason, though.
Despite knowing that, he couldn’t convince himself to be afraid of her. Every time she touched him, she was gentle and warm, not rough and uncaring, as the scientists who had transformed him had been. And she talked to him the whole time, even though she knew he couldn’t understand her words.
The door to the med bay slid open, and Amelie looked up and smiled. “Hi, Kugah.” She followed up the greeting he recognised with more words he didn’t.
“Hi, KaGeeGee.” A smile filled Kugah’s mind, even if it couldn’t show on his face. He walked to the bed and sat down, as he had every day.
It was almost becoming routine.
Except this time, Amelie didn’t pull out any instruments or equipment. Instead, she swung her chair around to face him, and looked at him for a few moments. Then she said something.
He recognised only a few of her words, enough to guess that this wasn’t about anything medical or biological. What did she want now? He stared at her blankly.
She made a frustrated sound and reached over to the table and pulled out a tablet.
She fiddled with the device for a few moments, and the screen was filled with a star map. Holding out the tablet out, she pointed to a star system in the middle. From the configuration of the system she pointed to, Kugah was pretty sure it was where they were now.
Then she looked up at him, obviously asking a question.
He could guess what it was. She wanted to know where his people were.
She didn’t have a clue how dangerous that knowledge was. What did she plan to do with that information? Go there?
Did she have any idea what his people would do to her if they found her?
The thought terrified him. He didn’t want her going anywhere near them.
When he didn’t respond, she sighed, and zoomed out on the tablet. “Kugah, Amelie, here.” She pointed to the spot again. Then she pointed to a planet some distance away. “Amelie’s home.” She held out the device to him. “Kugah’s home?”
She was looking for Sofanette, but that wasn’t his home anymore, and he certainly wasn’t going to tell her where it was. She had no idea what she was asking. He didn’t look at the tablet, or take it from her. Instead, he stared into her eyes.
She stared back, her eyes searching his, their warm brown colour filling him up with her kindness and sweetness.
It wasn’t that he wanted to deny her the information she wanted. Not for that reason. He just wanted to protect her. He didn’t even have the words to tell her what his people were like and why she needed to stay far away from them.
Why she probably should stay far away from him.
What if her people had already found his, or were close to them? Logically, he knew that wasn’t the case. He’d travelled for a very long time to get here, half lost, not caring where he was, just keeping moving. But the possibility he had somehow travelled in circles gripped him, even if it was unlikely.
He reached out and took the tablet from her. He swiped across it a couple of times, relief filling him when he recognised none of the nearby stars. They were still many light years from his people’s territory. The Gokak would not come this far. He handed the tablet back to her. “Kugah’s garoon, No.”
Amelie sighed again, and stared at the map in her lap. Then her face brightened and she picked up the tablet again. She zoomed out as far as she could, until an entire section of the galaxy fitted on the one screen. “Kugah’s home, here?” She pointed to the left of the pad.
Damn, she was persistent. He couldn’t help admiring that, even if he didn’t plan to tell her the information she sought.
He shook his head.
She was grinning now. Kugah tried not to notice. Tried to ignore the blood pulsing through his veins at her endearing expression.
“Here?” She pointed to the right.
She wasn’t going to give up, and for some reason, he didn’t want to outright lie to her. Nor did he want to tell her where his people were.
That wasn’t exactly what she had asked though. A solution came to him. Kugah growled, and pointed to one corner, as far away from Sofanette as he could, and away from the human planets as well. That was where he had been headed. Where he’d hoped to find a new home.
“Garoon.”
A grin appeared at the corners of her mouth, and she suppressed it. She asked a short, sharp question.
He could guess what she was asking, even though her words were unfamiliar. And he couldn’t answer that question either, even if he wanted too. What she wanted to know was how far away his people were, but she had asked about his home. A home he hadn’t found yet.
He didn’t know how far away it would be, but he hoped it was a long way. The further he was from his people, the safer he would feel.
Even though he wasn’t exactly lying, he still felt bad for misleading her. So instead of adding to the lie, he feigned a lack of understanding.
That gave him a chance to stare at her some more.
He wasn’t sure why he was so fascinated by her. By his own people’s standards, she had little beauty. She was short, and her hair and face were plain, with no patterns or colour at all. She had curves where a female of his species would be slim. Her whole body was totally foreign.
Perhaps that was what had fascinated him. As a scientist, he’d always been interested in the new and different. Every time a new species was discovered on an alien world, he’d been driven to find out everything he could about it.
Of course, he hadn’t had any idea then, what the Gokak would do with that information. He might have been less diligent about recording how a wing enabled flight if he’d realised he might one day be wearing one of those wings, and he might have been less fascinated by an insect’s armour if he’d even suspected it might coat his body.
Then again, he might be a lot worse off if those jobs hadn’t been done properly.
Amelie was still staring at him, the tablet forgotten in her lap. He knew that look. Even though her face was different, he could recognise the fascination in her eyes.
She wanted to know how he worked. Why he was the way he was.
Would she ever believe him if he told her?
The language barrier meant it was unlikely he’d ever find out. As soon as the ship was modified for its own wormhole jump, then she and her people woul
d be looking for their new home. Then she would be too busy for these daily meetings.
He couldn’t help the stab of disappointment at that thought, though he chastised himself for it.
He wasn’t here to make friends. He was here to find a new home. The humans just happened to have the technology that would make that possible. That’s the only reason he was hanging around.
Amelie moved then, sitting up and putting the tablet on the desk near her. She spoke some words, then she stood up and held out a hand to him.
Kugah stared at it.
The hand hovered there between them, an unmistakable gesture of friendship that Kugah had no idea how to respond to.
He was half afraid he would hurt her if he tried to hold her hand. He wasn’t sure he could do gentle any more.
After only a few seconds, he saw her hand move back, about to be withdrawn.
He had only seconds to make up his mind, and he couldn’t resist. He reached his hand out towards hers, taking it awkwardly, his digits closing around hers, barely touching.
A grimace crossed her face, and Kugah immediately pulled back. He’d hurt her. He’d known he shouldn’t even try. Why had he given in to temptation?
But she reached her hand out again, her fingers closed around his hand.
Her grip wasn’t awkward, or even particularly gentle. It was firm, strong, and sure.
He could still feel it clearly.
She tugged on him slightly, and he rose to his feet. He had no idea where she wanted to go, or what she wanted to do, or even why she wanted him to come with her.
At this moment, he would follow her to the end of the universe.
Amelie headed to the door, and Kugah followed, trying to keep an even pressure on her hand, and not to pull. As she pressed the button that opened the door, she slipped her hand out of his.
He felt the loss keenly, but as the guards outside the door turned towards them, he understood. She was the scientist and he was the subject. She couldn’t afford to show any sensitivity towards him. It wasn’t done.
One of them asked a question.
Amelie shook her head before answering.
