Kate’s wrong. I’m not a butter face, I’m Reid’s baby.
On the way out to the lake, we don’t talk a lot. I’m afraid if I start talking that I’ll somehow blow it by mentioning one of Kate’s petty little lies. We stop, grab some fast food, take the Viper through one of those deluxe car washes, and then keep driving. I notice we’re not headed toward one of the Chain of Lakes or any of the places we’ve gone swimming in the past. We pull onto a dirt road marked by No Trespassing signs. Reid blows by it. He’s driving slower than usual, probably so the dust from the road doesn’t mess up the fresh wax.
He parks near a fence with another No Trespassing sign, then says, “This is the place.”
“Where are we?” I ask.
As he puts his sunglasses on the dash, he says, “Eden, baby, Eden.”
He kisses me on the check, grabs his iPod, and we get out of the car. Opening the trunk, he pulls out a big red beach blanket and what looks like a new sleek iPod docking station. “Come on, we gotta get a move on. I don’t want you getting in trouble with Mommy.”
“I don’t care if I’m late or not,” I announce as I follow him toward a line of trees.
“Don’t do that. ’Sides, I got a few people coming over tonight,” Reid says.
“Can I—”
“Some of my friends, well, they’re not so cool. I want to protect you,” he says.
“Protect me?” I ask, but Reid doesn’t answer. I decide this is my chance to catch both Vic and Kate in their lies. “Reid, how do you get so much money to buy—”
His green eyes flash anger to stop my words, but in seconds, his smile returns. “You ever see that movie The Godfather?”
“I guess, why?”
“The best line is when Scarface says to his wife: ‘Don’t ask me about my business.’”
“Sorry,” I mumble.
“Come on,” Reid says as he pushes through a hole in the wire fence. I follow behind as we cut through some trees, emerging on a beautiful, sandy, and totally deserted lake beach.
“Reid, this is beautiful,” I gush.
“This is my place.” Reid lays the towel on the sand and we lie down on it. He pulls out a joint from his cutoffs, then hands me his lighter. I light the joint for him, and he leans back as he inhales. Resting my head on his chest, he asks, “Sure you don’t want some?”
“No. That’s okay, right?” I ask softly.
“Good shit, but that’s cool,” he says. “Do whatever you want.”
“I am,” I whisper as I try to press myself even closer. I can’t hear his heart over the sound of the music he’s put on, but I can imagine. Just like I imagine this spot and this sunset are somehow just for us.
“You about ready to dive in?” Reid says as he takes another hit.
It’s strange, but I’m feeling nervous, so I say, “Let me try that.”
He puts the joint on my lips, and I inhale. I’ve seen Reid and his friends get high often enough, so I know you’re supposed to hold the smoke in for the full effect, but I still cough like some wannabe.
“I told you this was good shit,” he says, laughing. We sit in silence as we share the joint and take in the sunset. Finally, I get up the nerve to ask, “Do you think I’m beautiful?”
“Where’s this coming from?” is his non-answer. I don’t say anything, hoping my silence will force him to respond. Finally he says, “Like this sunset, baby.”
“Really?” I say, turning to face him.
Reid doesn’t say anything; instead, he finishes the joint and moves out from under me. He goes toward the water, then waves for me to join him. With the water lapping at my feet, and his lips and tongue nibbling on my neck, I feel almost faint again.
He takes a step back, then shows that crescent-moon smile again and says, “Really. That’s why I want to see more of you.”
I pull in a deep breath as he pulls off my tank top, tossing it onto the sand. His hands press gently on my shoulders. My eyes close, my mouth opens, and I believe.
14
SUNDAY, AUGUST 10
“Why are you being such a bitch?” I shout at my mom from across the table. After this repeat performance of last Sunday morning’s fight, I wonder why she’s not asking me the same.
“Reap and sow, baby, reap and sow,” is Mom’s answer. We’ve spent another morning at church. Carl came with us, but by noon, he was already back asleep. He’s trying to be nicer to Mom and pay some attention to me, but it’s hard for him to break old habits. Except for church, Sunday is like any other day for Carl: drinking, sleeping, and softball. Every day’s the weekend in his life. No wonder I don’t like him. I’m trying to do everything I can to act like an adult; he’s an adult acting like he’s fifteen. We both want the life that the other one lives.
“I can’t stand it here!” I shout, pushing away my half-eaten Halo Burger in anger.
“You shouldn’t have lied about Evan, and I want to know about this other boy,” she says. I notice that our argument isn’t affecting her appetite. She’s eating more than usual, which means Carl will be around for a while. Clearly Mom’s not working on returning to her date weight.
“This is not fair,” I say. On the way home from church, she threatened a grounding.
“Get used to it, it’s called life,” she says, sipping her Diet Coke and reaching for her second cheeseburger from the grease-stained Halo bag. “Are you going to tell me about this young man you’ve been seeing or will you make me be the bitch and ground you?” she asks.
“We’re just spending time together, that’s all,” I say, looking away.
“Don’t lie to me, and don’t think I’m that naive. I was fifteen once myself,” she says, hiding a smile.
“I’m almost sixteen!”
“And sometimes you almost act like it, but other times, it’s like you’re six. I don’t want you seeing a boy I’ve haven’t met. I don’t even know his name. I just can’t approve.”
“You don’t get to say.”
“Yes, I do, I’m your mother,” she shoots back. “I’m the adult, although you forget that!”
“Then act like one!” I shout, leaping up from the table.
“You come back here!” she yells at me. I don’t run for the door outside; instead I open Mom’s bedroom door. Carl’s fat, hairy naked ass is aimed right at us, while his fingers seem to be pointing at the nine empty beer cans near the bed. There was enough shouting from their bedroom to raise the dead last night. Mom’s not bruised, but her voice is raw. It was only a matter of time. Carl’s patience is too thin, Mom’s will is too weak, and beer is far too available.
“Who are you to give me advice on men?” I hiss. I’d love to slam the door but I definitely don’t want to wake Carl, so I head toward my room.
My mom follows me, saying, “Watch your mouth!”
“Why don’t you finally use yours?” I turn on my heel. Standing in the doorway, on the threshold between my room and my mother’s, I whisper, “Tell him to leave.”
“So help me,” she says through a clenched jaw. Although her various boyfriends have slapped me in the past, Mom never has. I push my chin out, half daring half begging her.
“Help you? You’re helpless!” This fight about Carl is our own burning circle of hell. “Tell him to leave,” I say, softly now.
My mom walks past me, into my room. She sits on the floor next to my bed, then motions for me to join her.
“I can’t, Danielle, I can’t,” she says.
“Why not, Mom? Do you love him that much?”
“I don’t love Carl like you think,” she says, then wipes her nose, sniffs, and ekes out a smile. “You may think you love this boy, but you don’t. You’re just young, like I was.”
“But Mom, you don’t understand.”
“No, Danielle, you don’t understand love, or men, and maybe I don’t either. But I know a few things. I wish you could just believe what I say, but life doesn’t work that way. You have to learn most lessons the hard way.�
�
“But Reid—” I shut my mouth, but too late. I’ve revealed the secret name.
She pulls in a deep breath and puts her head on my shoulder.
“Danielle, baby, it’s easy to find men who need you, like Carl needs me. And you’ll always find boys who want you, like Evan or this Reid character. But—” She stops, then hugs me like she’s trying to pull me back into her body and says, “But the hard thing is finding someone who really loves you for you, and will be true forever.”
“But Reid—,” I start again.
“And the only people who are going to do that, baby, are your family,” she says, trying to smile. “I messed things up with my mom so much; I don’t want that to happen between you and me.”
“Then stop pushing me about Reid and I’ll shut up about Carl,” I tell her.
“Okay,” she says after a long pause. We spit shake, declaring a truce in our ongoing war.
“I want you home before ten to night, agreed?” Mom says as I walk toward the door.
“Sure thing,” I say, and even give her an overdue big hug. In the other room, Carl’s stirring, and I wish I could take Mom with me as I leave.
“Love you, Danny baby, special lady,” she says, like she used to when I was little.
“I know, Mom,” I say, unable and unwilling to give her an “I love you” in return.
“Promise me one thing,” she says, as serious as my mom can sound.
“What?”
“Don’t change your life for just any boy. It’s a mistake.” She stares at me. It seems like she wants to say more, but I can tell it’s too hard. What she doesn’t know is that unlike Carl, Mitch, or her loser parade, Reid’s a winner. What she can’t accept is how much my sad, lonely life needed changing and how Reid’s making that possible. Mom wants me to still be her dependent passenger, but I’m driving without her now.
• • •
“What are you doing here?” Reid asks. I know he told me not to come over, but it’s an emergency and only he can save me. I called and called, but he didn’t answer, so I took the risk because I need him—just like he said he needed me. He comes to the door after twenty hard knocks. I don’t see his mom’s truck parked out front, so I figure it’s safe. He’s staring blankly at me.
I’m feeling confused. Just riding over to Reid’s on my bike made me feel lighter than ever before, even going up the steep hill of Maple Road. I felt like I was coasting.
I try to retain my smile in the face of his dismissive frown, then say, “I just thought—”
He cuts me off not with a tender kiss, but with a harsh tone. “It’s not a good time.”
“I’m sorry, Reid,” I say, actually hanging my head in shame.
“Look at me, Danielle,” Reid says, then puts his hand on my shoulder. “I have to go.”
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“My mom,” he mumbles. “She’s finishing a week-long drinking vacation. Stay away.”
“I’m so sorry,” I start to say, but he shuts the door in my face.
• • •
I call Ashley and she invites me right over. I pedal as fast as I can, sweating in the sweltering August heat. I wish she was still dog sitting for her neighbors so I’d have an opportunity to jump into the pool and cool down.
“Hey, is Ashley home?” I ask her father when he answers the door.
“Danielle, how have you been? We’ve missed you like a big front tooth,” he says. He’s so strange. No wonder Ashley’s embarrassed to be seen with him in public.
“Is she here?” I ask. I like Ashley’s parents, but even after years of spending time at their house, sometimes I still feel like they’re space aliens pretending to be human parents.
“In her room reading, of course,” he says, then invites me in. Like magic, Ashley’s mother appears with two big glasses of iced tea.
“Here you go!” she says. “Would you mind delivering this to the princess?”
I laugh, but it’s kinda true: sometimes they treat her more like a princess than a daughter.
“Hey, Ash, it’s Danny,” I say as I open her door.
Ashley isn’t lying on her bed reading, but instead is sitting in front of her computer. I can’t help but take a quick glance at the screen. There’s a map of the northeastern part of Michigan, but I can’t see any more before she turns off the monitor.
“Planning a trip?” I ask as I hand her the iced tea.
“What do you mean?” she says. She’s moved over to her bed, while I sit in the chair by her desk.
“You know,” I say, and I click the computer screen back on. Driving directions from Flint to Tawas.
“That’s private,” she says, setting down her glass.
“I didn’t think best friends had secrets,” I reply.
She sits back in bed, then takes a deep breath. “Sorry, touchy subject.” I click the screen off.
“Who do you know there?” I ask.
She pauses, taking a long sip of tea. “Nobody. We just used to vacation there, that’s all.”
“Okay,” I say, unwilling to confront her about this lie. After I learned she’d lied to me when I spoke with her father, I’d looked up some information about Tawas. It didn’t seem like the kind of place her parents would vacation. They normally took Ashley to exciting places like New York or Toronto, not some small town on the shore of Lake Huron. Tawas used to be kind of a nice place, but times got tough: now it’s more like run-down Flint than rich Traverse City.
“So how’s Reid?” she asks, not looking me in the eye.
“Why do you ask?” I could tell from her tone that there was no point in lying to her.
“I called your house and your mom said you’d left. You weren’t here, so I figured you were there, right?”
“Right,” I say, taking a deep breath.
“What’s wrong?”
I tell Ashley about how Reid wouldn’t let me come into the house, but she doesn’t seem the least bit upset. Instead she says casually, “I’ve been talking to Evan about Reid.”
“Really?” This proves my conspiracy theory. I don’t need to smoke pot to be paranoid.
“And Evan’s been talking to his brother Vic,” she continues.
“Vic’s a loser.” I let Reid’s words fall out of my mouth.
Ashley pushes her hair out of her eyes, then glares back at me. “Maybe so, but he cares about you. Evan cares about you. I care about you. But all you seem to care about is Reid.”
“Don’t turn into my mother.”
“He’s playing you,” Ashley says, trying not to sound too smug. “Trust me on this. I knew people like Reid.”
“Name one!” As far as I know, I’m Ashley’s only close friend. She never talks much about her life before her parents moved to Flint, or even before we met in ninth grade.
“This isn’t about me, it’s about you,” she counters. “He’s evil, Danielle.”
“Please, Ashley.” I sigh, then treat her to an eye roll she can admire. “This isn’t some fantasy novel with good versus evil. This is real life. You should try living in it sometime.”
“Again, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says. “I’m scared for you.”
“I can take care of myself,” I reassure her.
“He’s twisting you,” Ashley says. “You have to trust me.”
“I don’t believe you,” I say.
“You don’t know anything about him, really, do you?” She sits up in bed, then grabs my hands. “Just because you love someone, or they love you, doesn’t mean there are no secrets.”
“He loves me,” I tell her, pride busting my heart.
“Why aren’t you with him now?” she asks. “Why do you spend so little time with him?”
“He isn’t able to see me for a while. Besides, he’s really busy.”
“Interesting,” Ashley says, holding my hands tighter.
“What does that mean?” I try to pull my hands away, but she’s holding on.
“Oh, Danielle, don’t you know?” she asks softly.
“Know what?”
“Reid’s just using you. You must know that,” she says, squeezing my hands tighter still.
“You’re just saying that because you’re jealous of the time I do spend with him.” I free my hands, then move from Ashley’s soft bed back to her hard chair.
“Maybe,” Ashley says. “And when is that time?”
“Whenever he can,” I answer.
“So, you only see him when he wants it,” Ashley says. “And if you do what you just did, dropping in on him, what happens?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I lie to her face. I had dropped in on Reid a couple of other times, and he did then exactly what he just did: sent me away.
“You said you don’t go over there much anymore when other people are there, right?”
“That’s because he just wants to spend time alone with me,” I tell her.
“Like I said, you’re being played.”
“What makes you so fucking smart all of a sudden?” I shoot back.
“Maybe I’m not smart,” she answers, “or maybe I’m just not blindly in love with Reid.”
“You’re lying,” say I, Danielle the Denier.
“I wouldn’t lie to you, Danielle,” she says softly.
I turn away, then click on the computer screen again. “You’re lying about this, I know it.”
“Don’t turn this back on me,” she snaps. “I’m just trying to help you.”
“Lying to me isn’t helping.”
She moves to the edge of the bed. Her arms reach out to me. “I’m just trying to protect you from getting hurt, just like I tried to protect your mom from Carl.”
“Reid isn’t going to hurt me like that,” I tell her. “I trust him.”
“And that’s the problem,” she continues. “Why won’t you believe me?”
“Because you’re just telling me lies,” I insist. I move to sit next to her.
“You won’t believe me no matter what I say, will you?”
“No!”
There’s silence except for the sound of both of us breathing heavily. “Then I’ll prove it.”
“How?” I ask. Ashley closes her eyes and goes silent again. I try to speak, but she shushes me, putting her finger against my lips.
Stolen Car Page 14
