by Morgan Fox
“You should’ve seen her face,” he replied. “It was priceless.”
“I would’ve paid more to see yours when that woman opened the door.”
He chuckled. “No kidding.”
They made their way down to the water’s edge, dropped their extra clothing and moved into the water. It was cooler than he expected, but Layton just pulled on his hand and made him go into the water. They swam and laughed, splashing and playing around. Being away from everyone at Iron Horse was wonderful. They didn’t have to hide being together. The secret affair was fun, exhilarating even, but moments like this made him wonder what a real relationship with her would be like.
Would she even want that?
He hadn’t been looking for a girlfriend, just someone to have fun with. When all that changed, he wasn’t sure.
“Want to go eat?”
“Yes,” he hissed with his eyes rounded. “I’m starving.”
Once they grabbed the cooler and the blanket off the bike, they found a nice spot near the water where they could be alone. The trees around them gave them shade from the bright sunlight that glistened off the water. A gentle breeze blew through the bushes, cooling the day off just enough to be comfortable.
“It’s beautiful here,” she told him, sitting on the blanket across from him. “I like going to state parks. I’ve been to several, but not here.”
“I like it. It’s close to Dallas, but not so popular that we have to worry about overcrowding.”
“We should venture to Tyler one weekend. I love that place. Hills to hike up and down. The trees and nature are just amazing. Great trails for biking. It’s awesome.”
When she met his gaze, she added, “My parents loved to go camping.”
He nodded. “I like the idea of camping, but I’m not a veteran at it. I don’t even have a tent.”
She laughed. “I do. I’ve even got a stove, cookware, and an air mattress.”
“You do?”
“Gifts from my parents. They knew how much I loved it as a kid and hoped I’d continue doing so even without them.” She sighed. “Sadly, I haven’t done much camping since moving out on my own.”
He opened up a bottle of water and handed it to her. “Maybe you’d like to go with me to Tyler our next weekend off.”
She smiled, taking a bite of a juicy strawberry. “I’d like that.”
* * * *
What’s happening to me?
Layton couldn’t take her eyes off Jaxson as he opened up the cooler and began unpacking their lunch. Her heart swelled in her chest and her mind could think of nothing but him. The way his eyes grew dark before he kissed her, the way his hand squeezed hers just right, the way he couldn’t stop making her crave him. Did he know what he was doing to her? Was she having the same effect on him?
She liked spending time with him, but what would happen when she found a place of her own? Would it all change once she no longer lived with him? Was this sexual affair something more, or just a game they played? She didn’t know, and she didn’t like that she was thinking about it.
I care about him. More than I should.
All of a sudden, she wasn’t as hungry as she had been. A few strawberries and a bite of her sandwich was all she could manage. Her stomach knotted with emotions—uncertainty washing over her in a panic filled flood.
Jaxson offered help when she needed it and she’d done the same for him. He hadn’t expressed interest beyond sex or promised her more. Neither had. A friends with benefits relationship defined them. How else could she explain what they were to each other?
Before she got in too deep, she had to figure out what she wanted. What he wanted. If she didn’t, she was going to end up with a broken heart. At least now, if their arrangement ended, it was mutual and neither of them would be hurt.
Why does that feel like a lie?
“Was it something I said?” he asked, eyeing her curiously. “Are the strawberries okay?” He took a bite.
She shook the troubling thoughts from her mind. “No, the strawberries are fine. I was just thinking what a great day this has been.”
“I’m glad,” he said, taking her hand in his. “I really wanted today to be fun.”
Her pulse raced and his touch robbed her of breath. The warmth of his smile and his smoldering gaze melted her straight to her heart.
“With the test tomorrow, I couldn’t stand the idea of staring at that study guide for another second.” He sighed. “Let’s face it, if I don’t know the material now, I’m not going to by tomorrow.”
She sighed, disappointment engulfing her. It had been the test, not her. Her heart sank into her belly, and a lost and lonely sensation began eating away at her. She hadn’t meant to get caught up in him. Hadn’t meant for things to move beyond sex, but they had.
Now what I’m I going to do?
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, his eyes scanning her over, searching for something.
She had to stop sending him signals. How could she tell him what was wrong with her when she was still sorting things out herself? “I’m good. I think I’m just beat. I haven’t been sleeping great these last few nights. I’ve been really focused on getting a place of my own.”
“Right,” he muttered, shoving a strawberry into his mouth. “How’s that coming?”
“Better than expected. Another few shifts like I’ve been having and I’ll have the money I need to move where I want.”
Jaxson took a swallow of water. “That’s great.”
Yes, it is. At least it should be. Why isn’t it?
“How long did you want to stay?”
The muscles in her face slackened and her tongue swelled as acid churned in her belly. “Eager to get rid of me?”
He laughed. “I was talking about the park. Did you want to head back?”
An elephant, a big fat one, was sitting on her chest and the bitch was an overeater. Heading back sounded like a great idea, but all they’d be doing is heading back to his hotel room. To do what? Fuck again? “You know what, we should head back. I think I’d like to see if Sam or Jason would like an extra hand tonight.”
He furrowed his brow. “Really? You want to go into work?”
“Yeah. Sure.” She stood. “Let’s face it, the sooner I get the money I need, the sooner I’m out of your hair.”
He stood and closed in on her. “Layton, I never felt like that.”
She hated herself. Staring into those moonstruck eyes, she couldn’t stop herself from wanting more with him, but that seemed more like a fantasy than reality. She didn’t want to keep living a secret life with him, sneaking away to be together. She wanted someone she could take home to her parents, hang out together with friends, and not fear they’d lose their jobs. Jaxson had been perfect, maybe too perfect, but the fact remained, they couldn’t truly be together.
“It’ll make working together easier, if we don’t have to worry about Sam or Jason finding out we’re living together,” she reminded him.
He nodded, his gaze narrowing. The mood between them shifted and it was all her doing. He knelt down, put everything back in the cooler and folded the blanket. They walked in silence back to the bike, packed it back up, climbed on, and headed home.
His home.
Chapter Eight
Layton worked the next few shifts back to back and when she wasn’t at the hotel room, she was apartment hunting. Jaxson had done something wrong, something to upset her, he just didn’t know what that was. Over and over again, he went over their conversations, never putting his finger on what it was he’d said or done. But then again, men were always screwing up with their girlfriends—girlfriend? Is that what Layton had become to him?
Was that why she was running away? Did she fear he felt that way about her? Did she fear he wanted more from her?
Fuck me, I don’t know.
A knock came to his door and he rushed to open it. His first thought had been that Layton had lost her key. “Hey,” he said, tugging open
the door to see Sam and Jason standing there.
“Expecting someone else?” Sam asked, her brow arched high.
“Nope.” Jaxson swallowed hard at his lie. “What brings you here?”
“Can we come in?” Jason stepped into the room before Jaxson could answer.
He opened the door wide for Sam. “Can I get you guys something to drink?”
“No thanks,” they said in unison.
Jaxson didn’t like what was happening. He was staring at Sam and Jason like he did his parents after he’d done something he shouldn’t have. Layton.
Jason pulled out a chair at the table. Sam continued to stand. Jaxson leaned against the counter in the small kitchen and folded his arms across his chest.
“All right, spill it. What’s on your minds?”
“First,” Jason started. “We want to congratulate you on obtaining your certification.”
“Thanks.”
“And then we’d like to know what the hell is wrong with you?”
If you asked my dad he’d say a lot. He eyed her. “What do you mean?”
“You said your relationship with Layton was a onetime deal. We know otherwise.”
How the hell did they know about him and Layton? They’d been so damn careful. “What are you talking about?”
“A few days ago, when you picked up your bike, you had Layton with you.”
“So,” he drew out.
“You kissed her on camera, you big idiot.”
No way! Jason had cameras. Shit! Jaxson sat down.
“You lied to us.”
“No I didn’t,” he countered. “When I told you we weren’t together, we weren’t.”
Her glower told him to explain more. “She needed a place to stay. Her roommate was bad news, so I told her to stay with me.”
“And that included being intimate I take it?”
“Not at first. That part just happened.”
“You have to end it Jaxson. As a manager, we don’t mess around with employees. It’s bad for business.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about it. She’s pretty much…gone.”
Jason furrowed his brow. “What are you talking about?”
“She’s avoiding me. Working all the hours she can at either bar, and when she’s not working, she’s not here.”
“I haven’t seen her much in days.”
Sam sat on the sofa next to the table. “That doesn’t sound like Layton. She doesn’t just jump ship.”
“She does if I’m on it,” Jaxson said, his mind overcome with just how much he hated that she was fleeing from him.
“You like her,”
“Yes, more than I should.”
Sam rose to her full height, her expression cold. “I see only a few options here. End it for good or quit.”
“Sam,” Jason rasped.
“I’m sorry, Jason, but I don’t like being lied to. Unintentionally or not.” She pointed a determined finger. “Jaxson, you knew sleeping with her was against policy and you still did it. Repeatedly, and that’s what pisses me off most. You knew better and you still continued to do it.”
He knew it was against policy. He knew things would be bad if their affair was discovered. Still, he hadn’t cared. Being with Layton seemed worth the consequences.
Was I wrong?
Just then the door opened and Layton walked in, freezing at the sight of Sam and Jason. The muscles in her jaw clenched.
Jaxson stood. He wasn’t sure why. He wanted to protect her, but he didn’t know what from.
“We have visitors,” he said aloud.
“I see that,” she replied, eyeing him with grave interest. “Why?”
“Because we know you two have been shacked up together and it can’t continue,” Sam grumbled, her attitude reflected in her sharp words.
“Fine,” Layton blurted.
Jaxson eyed her, caught off by how quickly she responded. She only glanced at him and then back to Sam. He’d felt the distance growing between them, but hoped it was only his imagination. Clearly it hadn’t been.
“I found an apartment. I just need a few hundred dollars and I’ll be able to move out.”
“Done,” Sam answered.
Layton didn’t even flinch at Sam’s words. Jaxson’s world was spinning. “Just like that.” His gaze narrowed on Sam. “She says she needs a few hundred and you spot her.” He glanced back at Layton. “But I offered and you said—”
“I know what I said. Sam’s my boss. It’s different.”
She so easily dismissed him as if he didn’t matter. Did I ever? “I see.” He walked over to his nightstand and pulled out the spare key to his storage unit and handed it to Jason. “Since you all seem to be on the same page, here’s the storage key. I’m sure you’ll be able to help her move into her new apartment.”
Before Jason could close his hand around the key, Sam swooped in and took it. “Thanks,” she said. “Layton, would you like to go and set things up?”
Layton glanced over at Jaxson. For one brief second, he thought he saw the eyes of the woman he’d fallen for, but then in a blink she was gone.
“I need to grab a few things, first.” She moved around the room and collected the clothing she’d put in a drawer and the stuff from the bathroom.
With her arms filled with her belongings, she faced him one last time. “Thanks for everything, Jaxson.”
He couldn’t bring himself to say anything. The entire event seemed surreal. Things between them ended in a flash and he was crushed. The ache in his chest made it hard to breathe.
His world imploded as the door closed behind her and Sam. His legs went weak and he sat down, covering his face as he rested his elbows on his knees. Ending things with her wasn’t supposed to be this hard.
“Are you all right?” Jason asked, his tone calm and sympathetic.
Was he all right? No. He was far from all right. He slanted Jason with a watery-eyed look. His chest tight with his realization. “I’m in love with a woman who isn’t in love with me.” He laughed, but it wasn’t filled with humor or joy. “What do I do now?”
Jason moved his chair closer to him. “What do you want to do?”
He raked his hands over his scalp and clasped his fingers behind his head. He wanted to figure out what he’d done to drive Layton away. He wanted to tell Sam to shove her job and her shit ass attitude. He wanted—who was he kidding, Layton didn’t want him and he needed the job.
“What can I do?”
Jason stood and placed his hand on Jaxson’s shoulder. “When you can answer truthfully what you want to do, then you’ll know what you should do.”
Jason left, and as Jaxson glanced around remembering all the time he’d spent with Layton over the last few weeks, the things they’d done together, the laughter they shared, the sex that could only be called epic, he figured out one thing. He needed to move, too.
* * * *
“Do you know how hard it was to be a bitch to Jaxson?” Sam told Layton. “I honestly hated every second of that.”
She couldn’t hate it near as much as I did.
Layton’s vision was impaired. She couldn’t see past the tears that filled her eyes. For days she had distracted herself, hiding from him the way she’d hid from those men who visited Ruby. All because she’d fallen in love with him and didn’t want her heart broken—because she was too cowardice to find out if there was anything real between them.
Truth was, she missed him, ached for him, and she wanted to be near him. She nearly crumbled to the floor after seeing the betrayal in his eyes. She hadn’t expected to see the hurt-filled look, but there it was, and she would forever be haunted by her abrupt departure from him.
But I had no other choice.
There was no easy solution. She’d either lose her job or he’d lose his. They couldn’t continue the way they were. Not when Sam and Jason discovered their secret. When Sam approached her about Jaxson on her shift the night before, Layton came clean. What was the
point in denying it when they had proof? But it wasn’t just admitting that she and Jaxson were intimate, she divulged her greatest weakness—her love and desire for him. Layton was overcome by just how much she craved him and wanted to be with him. It scared her. It had been Sam’s idea to confront him and make the break firm. Layton had agreed because she hadn’t seen another option.
She covered her mouth as the pain of her emotions shattered inside her. Sam put her arms around her, but it wasn’t the same as feeling Jaxson’s comforting embrace. Nothing would ever feel that warm and safe again.
“It’s for the best,” Sam assured her.
“If it’s for the best, then why do I feel like I’m dying inside?”
Sam frowned. “I know you care for him, but you wanted this.”
She shook her head. “No, I wanted him, but there was no other way without causing him to lose his job. I won’t be the reason he has to start over again. He finally had the courage to come see Daniel, get a job he has little experience with, take a test he feared failing, and I was not about to destroy all his hard work.”
“What about yours?” Sam asked candidly. “What is it that makes his needs outweigh your own?”
That was easy. She loved him and she’d do everything she could to make sure he never had to suffer because of her. “He stepped up for me when I needed him. He took care of me, Sam. Like Daniel would you, and he barely knew me. His heart is kind and”—her lower lip quivered, the heart-wrenching loss was almost too much to bear—“if I have to sacrifice living in a shithole just a little longer to ensure he doesn’t lose anything, then I will.”
“Well, you won’t be moving back in with your former roommate, that’s for damn sure,” Sam added, waving her hand through the air as if to strike that idea from the table. “And if you won’t take my money, you’ll stay with me and Daniel until you get what you need to move into a new place.”
Layton’s shoulders slumped forward. She felt like a failure. Within a few short weeks, she managed to live in three different places, find love and lose it. Things were just peachy. Living with Sam and Daniel would crush what was left of her heart. Seeing them together would remind her too much of the time spent with Jaxson and she just couldn’t do it.
