by James Hunter
I have never seen such a thing, my dude, she sent. I could practically see her eyeroll inside my head. But what do I know? Yesterday I’d never seen a katana either, so anything is possible.
That made me chuckle. Well, I’m gonna try. If the war god is happy, everyone is happy. And for me to be happy, I need caffeine. So yeah, I’ll get started on planting crops. South side?
And the north side, she replied. You’ll see the dirt from where Ares planted before. The nice thing is, we don’t need much land for food. It’s like that story from the Judeo-Christian scripture, the loaves and fishes. Once you get things planted, I’ll get my assistants, Brontia and Steropia, working on food.
Weapons and food, Phoebe? You guys are awesome.
A Rune-Caster’s work is never done—though at some point we need a Dasikí Mágissa. A Forest-Witch. They can do wonders with plants. But, speaking of weapons, swing by the forge once you check in with Myrina. I’ve been crafting some dope shit. Gonna knock your socks off, Boss-man.
On my way, Phoebe. Thanks.
I cut the connection and paused, chewing day-old spider pig. Phoebe and I had such an easy rapport. Would that change if I slept with Asteria? Would Phoebe get jealous? Did she love me too? I didn’t know, and if I kept myself in check, I wouldn’t have to find out. I thought of Myrina. She and I already had a rocky relationship, and I didn’t want to add any unnecessary drama to that situation.
I finished another slice of cold bacon as I pulled up my Path of the Builder Skill Tree and invested my new Ability Point into Innovate, just as Phoebe had suggested. Then, I wiped my hands free of grease, left the candle in the kitchen, and headed toward the barracks and training facilities. Even from a distance, I heard the clang of swords and the thump of spears against shields.
In the early morning light, Myrina was training my Amazons, and I knew she was going to want me to join them. I’d spent a good portion of my life in combat training, but the USMC had neglected my sword, spear, and shield training.
Suddenly, I found myself a little nervous.
I knew if I faced Myrina, she wasn’t going to pull any punches.
Not sure I wanted to spend my third full day as the god of war being stabbed by my Amazon general who didn’t much care for me.
TWENTY
Training Day
I walked up to the Battle Wardens training on the ground beside the barracks. The air was warm and smelled like a mixture of sea salt and the dusty earth churned up by the shuffling feet of the Wardens. I paused at the edge of the training ground, folding my arms across my chest. In front of me were nine fierce women, clad in gleaming armor and leather battle skirts, known as fustanella. They were all a little different. Unique. Some had light hair, others dark. A few were tall and willowy, some were short and stocky.
Despite those differences, though, all were beautiful, and all were sweating from their obviously strenuous workout. They continued sparring for another few moments until Myrina caught sight of me.
“Stand at attention!” Myrina barked out to the troops. In an instant, the mock combat ceased, and every face turned to me. I couldn’t help but notice the little glow of admiration as their eyes twinkled. “God of War,” Myrina said, “do you want to inspect your Amazons?”
I shifted uncomfortably, feeling more like some random dude rather than a war god. But this was my role, and though I didn’t feel qualified for the job, these women needed to believe in me. To them, I was a symbol of hope and power. Finally, I nodded and walked forward, pausing before each of the women to access their stats from my helmet. Slowly, I reviewed each in turn: Antiope, Camilla, Lampedo, Polemusa, Derinoe, Evandre, Madae, and Antandre.
I lingered in front of Hippolyta—the last Amazon in line—who blushed fiercely under my gaze. She was a tall, athletic woman with dusky skin and flashing green eyes. Her long dark hair fell down her back in waves. “Greetings, Jacob Merely,” she said, averting her face. “I thank you for my life, and I long to please you.”
Suddenly I was the one blushing. “Just, uh, please me in battle then,” I stuttered, reaching out one hand and awkwardly patting her on the shoulder. God, but I felt like an idiot. “Seriously, just do the best you can, and I’ll be totally happy.” Several of the Wardens tittered, and Myrina silenced them with a glare. “And to help you,” I said, trying desperately to seem like I had my shit together, “I’m going to bestow my favor on you.” Her eyes flared as I pulled up her character sheet:
I had a few Essence Points to burn, and earning a little goodwill with the troops was probably a good idea, so I decided to give Hippolyta an upgrade.
First, I power-leveled her to level three, earning an Ability Point and ten more Attribute Points—which I immediately dropped into Strength. The godstone burned in my chest as a trickle of Essence flowed out of me; I watched as her muscles thickened, and she grew an inch. Awesome. Giving a character powers in a video game didn’t hold a candle to watching it happen in real time. With that done, I added the Ability Point to Rapid-Regen, instantly increasing her Health Regeneration Rate.
Hippolyta smiled and flexed an arm. “Thank you, War God. You have made me mighty, and I won’t disappoint.”
“You’re welcome, but I’m not done yet.” I focused on her stats again. This time, instead of leveling her up, I used a small amount of Essence and a sliver of Thymos Crystal to directly give her an extra Ability Point. “Now,” I said, “I’m going to increase your Durability.” I added the newly minted point, bringing her Durability up to two so she could take a licking and keep on ticking. Then—because I was on top of the world at the moment—I gave the other eight Wardens an increase in Durability as well. We needed them strong, after all.
Myrina was already at her current MAX level, but not all of her abilities were topped off, including Durability. But when I pulled up her screen, I nearly choked when I saw how much Essence it would cost to raise her Durability from level five to level six. Two hundred and fifty Essence Points, plus a solid pound of Thymos Crystals. That was enough to construct a siege tower! Hell, with my current abilities and restrictions, I literally couldn’t improve her if I wanted to. My general would just have to remain the way she was for the time being.
By the time I was done with my work, I’d burned through about half my Essence Points and was feeling it deep down. Weariness followed me like a hungry bear.
“Now, Jacob, I wish to train with you,” Myrina said as she watched me sway slightly on my feet. “Would you like to use sword or spear?” she asked.
“Let’s do sword,” I said as the wave of dizziness finally passed.
Myrina motioned, and several of the Wardens scurried to bring us wooden swords and wicker shields.
I took mine and wrapped my hand tight around the soft leather grip on the training weapon. The shield I strapped on my opposite arm.
“Are you ready, Jacob Merely?” Myrina asked.
I had a feeling this was going to suck some major ass, but I was as ready as I was ever going to be, so I nodded.
She was on me in a flash, bashing my shield with her sword, the blow lightning fast and brutally strong. And she didn’t stop with just a single swing. Nope, she pushed me back, raining down a flurry of attacks, the crack of wood on wood carrying in the air. Somehow, I managed to catch each blow on my shield, but she was pressing so ferociously that I couldn’t even think of launching a counter of my own.
After a few seconds, though, the barrage ceased as she feinted left, then shot right, sword sweeping low. I slid back and lashed out with my practice weapon for the first time. In a blink, she shifted position, and my sword smacked harmlessly into her buckler. Still, even though the blow hadn’t hurt her in the least, it had surprised her. I could see it painted across her face and etched into the lines of her body. With my upgraded Strength and the Might of Hercules ring on my finger, I was a helluva lot stronger than I’d been just a day before.
I used that surprise—that moment of hesitation—to press forwar
d, using one beefy shoulder to shove her backward. She retreated a step then two, but quickly regained her battlefield composure. I lunged forward, sword outthrust, but she sidestepped with ease before shooting inside my guard, her sword swiping low again, this time aimed for my knee. I shuffled back, narrowly catching the strike with my wooden blade. Then I saw an opening. I could’ve bashed her in the face with my shield, but I didn’t want to hurt her.
That little moment of indecision was enough. She launched herself forward like a jaguar, jabbing the blunt point of her sword into my chin.
In a real fight, she would’ve skewered my skull. “Do not hesitate, Jacob Merely. Always, if you see an opening, attack.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” I replied.
Myrina turned away, offering me her back.
“What is it?” I asked.
She whirled with a yell, unshed tears loitering in her eyes. She slashed, hacked, and stabbed until I lost track of all of her movements. This was a whole new level of fierce, and I quickly realized that she’d been seriously holding back before. I danced and weaved, my sword flicking out, diverting her strikes, but only just. Clearly, she was the better fighter by a mile. With a final howl, she knocked my shield from my arm and then darted in, dropping to a knee as she took my legs out from under me with a vicious swipe of her blade.
Before I even had time to think, I was on my back staring up at the blue sky, trying to figure out what in the hell had just happened. Somehow, I’d even dropped my sword in the tumble. Her face popped into view, looming over me.
“You cannot hurt me, War God,” Myrina said, a hint of disgust in the words. “These are wooden swords and shields made of woven grasses.”
I chuckled a little. “Then how come my legs are killing me where you hit them?”
A ghost of a smile appeared on her face. That was surprising. Then she sighed. “You did well, Jacob Merely. Your balance is passable, and you anticipated some of my strategies. We will continue to spar, and I believe you will get better.” The smile broadened a fraction of an inch as she extended a hand and helped me to my feet.
Several of the Wardens looked in wonder at my defeat. A few murmured to each other, and I didn’t think it sounded too positive.
Myrina wheeled on them. “The war god has generously demonstrated what not to do today, and he did so for your benefit, Amazons. Jacob Merely is as wise as he is kind. He could’ve used his shield to strike me when I let my guard down, but he showed me mercy instead.”
The doubters among them nodded at her cover story.
“Now back to work. The battle is coming, and we must be ready.” She shot me a respectful nod. “War God,” she said, before turning away to march along the field, offering sharp pointers as the women drilled. Curious, I checked my interface and noticed that my little sparring match with Myrina had given me some experience points—not boatloads, but the needle had definitely moved. Seemed like this was going to have to be a regular thing.
I closed the menu and glanced up as two winged horses flew through the morning sky above the walls. One was white, and one was a dark blue. On the pale horse sat a rider with a golden recurve bow and a quiver sticking up over one shoulder. The rider unleashed three arrows into the bull’s-eye of a nearby target and then zoomed away. That was Toxaris—my archer Beastiamancer on her mount. The other horse, of course, was Asteria. The shifter landed on the field, her blue feathery wings closing around her flanks.
In a heartbeat she shifted, taking on the form of a monstrous prehistoric bear.
Two more lumbering bears ran up with riders sitting astride their furry backs. These Amazons, Alkaia and Euryleia, likewise shot arrows into a circular target. Then, in a single fluid motion, they drew spears, which they launched into nearby wicker practice dummies. Asteria let out a bellowing roar that shook the ground as she traipsed up to me and changed back into her human form. Before she had even completed the change, one of Myrina’s Wardens was by my side, offering the shifter a cloak, which she absently accepted.
“We are training well, do you not think so, Jacob Merely?” Asteria asked, fastening the garment in place.
I nodded. “Looks good. But you all are going to need to eat, and we’re running low on spider pork.”
Two women wearing goggles and dressed in tunics and leather aprons approached. I checked their names in my helmet, Brontia and Steropia, Phoebe’s assistants. Both had olive-colored Mediterranean skin and glossy dark hair, falling in ringlets down to slender throats.
Both women hooked their arms in mine.
“We have come to help you plant,” Brontia said.
From Steropia, “And we have questions about Mountain Dew. Phoebe tried to tell us that it is a sweetened drink like what is found on Mount Olympus called ambrosia. It seems our gods favor ambrosia, while the American gods love Mountain Dew. We do not understand how to replicate the formula, but we are here to assist as we can, War God.”
Asteria walked ahead of us. “Come, Jacob, you are right. We are famished.”
The three Amazons led me to a loamy patch of land near the north wall. I pulled up my interface as we walked, this time accessing my MANAGE ISLAND menu. Options flashed before me. As with the walls from the night before, I could use a combination of Essence Points and Thymos Crystals to create classic Greek crops, including grapes, olives, wheat, eggplants, squash, tomatoes, and green beans. I could also make cows and chickens—no pork, but then I guess the arachnaswine covered that.
There was also the OTHER menu, now available since I’d upgraded my Innovate Skill to level two.
That one, I had special plans for.
First, though, the essentials. I tapped into my Essence Points and used a beefy Thymos Crystal the size of my fist to create a vineyard. Life and power drained out of me as the Crystal in my palm burned bright and dissolved, the dust picked up by a sudden gust of wind, then scattered across the dirt. In no time, seeds in the soil sprouted, and vibrant green vines emerged, growing up, up, up, while lush purple grapes burst forth and ripened in quadruple speed.
That made me smile. Myrina might’ve kicked my butt during our bout, but I bet she couldn’t manage to grow a fruitful vineyard in less than five minutes. Smug and satisfied with myself, I moved to olives. Five minutes, some Divine Essence, and a splash of Thymos Crystals later, I had a handful of full-on olive trees heavy laden with a variety of olives. Right on. Wheat fields came next, and around them I planted neat gardens full of ripened vegetables. In a small green pasture nearby, I conjured a double fistful of cows and chickens, fully grown and ready to be slaughtered.
Behind me, Brontia and Steropia followed, checking my work. Both were pleased. “You have a great ability in this area,” Brontia said, nodding enthusiastically as she surveyed the fields now overrun with crops. “Ares cared nothing for agriculture, so our rations were lean. But you, you are so different.”
“He is, is he not?” Asteria said with some excitement, trailing her fingers along a vine then plucking out a ripe grape, which she popped into her mouth.
Steropia frowned. “I am still curious about this Mountain Dew elixir.”
Brontia tisked at her. “Patience, sister. First, we need harvesting implements.”
I looked and saw I could craft a harvester.
And thanks once again to my added points to Innovate, these weren’t the ol’ timey run-of-the-mill harvesters either. Nope. These bad boys were powered by a combination of clockwork and steam. So not only was I a god with RPG powers, surrounded by beautiful Amazons, now I was also living in a steampunk novel. End of the world aside, my life was so fucking awesome.
Tapping into the scant Essence remaining, I created three harvesters that the Rune-Casters could use to process the food. The wagons had a lever on the side that they wound up, tightening a spring inside a contraption that had long arms, fashioned out of wood and brass. When they triggered the mechanism, the harvesters swept through the wheat fields, cutting the crop down and stuffing it int
o a grinder that made instant flour. And then? Then the flour was fed into a metal box covered with cogs and gears. I had no idea what happened inside that box, but flour went in, and somehow fresh baked bread came out.
Wicked-cool.
The third harvester plowed through the olives and grapes, using the same mystifying process to instantly convert raw ingredients to wooden buckets full of wine and fresh olive oil.
My mouth watered. This was going to be awesome.
Transformed into a lumbering ox, Asteria chewed on some nearby sweetgrass while Brontia and Steropia continued to work the harvesters. I was drained to the bone, so I headed over to a grassy spot near the outer wall and dropped onto my ass, pressing my back against the stone. There were still so many things to do, but after burning through my Essence Points, I needed a break. I closed my eyes for a minute, the warm sun pleasant against my skin, as my mind returned to Mountain Dew … Sweet, sweet, highly caffeinated Mountain Dew.
TWENTY-ONE
Dew Fountain
I must have drifted off from exhaustion, because when I cracked my eyes the sun had lurched dramatically above—we were heading into the early afternoon.
I groaned. Crap, I’d just wasted so much time. On the plus side, my Essence was back to three-quarters of the way full, and I’d had a stroke of absolute brilliance while dozing. Mountain Dew was basically corn syrup, a little orange juice, and a buttload of caffeine. There was no way I could make all the separate ingredients and crops, but maybe there was another way around the problem. I just needed to Keep It Simple, Stupid.
I gained my feet and stretched out sore muscles before turning to face the outer wall. Concentrating, I used Essence and some of the remaining Crystals in my pack to create a water fountain, similar to the one that was in the city near the temple. But instead of sculpting a Greek figure at the top, I crafted a giant marble soda can with a pull tab, where the Dew would splash down. Below me—deep in the earth—there was the aquifer that supplied water to the central fountain. With a little tweaking and some Divine Essence, I managed to divert some of the water to my new Dew fountain.
