by Tasha Fawkes
How can I be so weak when it comes to men, but so strong and disciplined when it comes to work? It just doesn’t make any sense. Did I not learn my lesson last time? I thought it was a date, but all he wanted to do was talk about that damn proposal. I completely misread his signals then, just like I probably am now. I sit back and tap my finger against my desk.
It's not that I haven't been thinking about what he said.
If anything, I’ve been thinking about his damn proposal too much. The more thought put into it ,the more tempted I am to agree, but I always talk my way out of it in the end. How hard would it be for him to change my mind? Probably not that hard.
I know for a fact the board are unhappy and I’ve kept that little piece of knowledge to myself. I haven't even told my father about the whispers that I've heard. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve thought about it, but then I realized that I only want to tell him to earn me some brownie points. What is the point in that when it won’t do any good? He’d pat me on the head and tell me I’m a good girl, but he won’t give me a promotion, or consider me taking his place when he retires. No, I couldn’t possibly handle that, being a woman and all.
It hurts my head to know that my career would advance so much further if I went through with this. I'm just not sure that’s enough of a reason to go against him. I’m either too scared or too loyal to my father to do this, which means I’m vulnerable. It wouldn’t take much to break me.
If I help Rex, my father is ruined. It’s that simple. That's a lot of guilt for me to carry around for the rest of my life. No matter how badly he's treated me, I’m not sure I can do the same back. I just wish I knew what to do.
I get back to the file I’m working on, trying my best not to think about the fact that I’m meeting with Rex later. I look up just as my father walks toward me. He saunters right past my desk, barely acknowledging me. Yet, I watch him, annoyed, as he stops to chat and laugh with at least half a dozen other people.
Am I really that irrelevant to him?
I know the answer to that already. I can’t remember the last time he called me out of work, or did something for my birthday. He’s not a father. He’s just someone who provided me with financial support when I was a child. Tears sting my eyes as I think about my lost childhood.
When I think about growing up, all I feel is emptiness and anxiety. That’s what I associate with my life back then, and not much has changed now. I laugh bitterly. Did I really think things would ever change? That working for him, and following in his footsteps, would change anything as far as he’s concerned? Of course it wouldn’t.
I'm sick of not feeling like his daughter, but most of all, I'm just so sick of being invisible.
My heart races as I reach into my closet and push aside a rack of clothes, looking for my new dresses. I’d been shocked that I bought them, and now I’m even more shocked that I’m going to wear one within days of buying them. I brought them on an impromptu shopping spree few days ago, when Ash dragged me out so she could find something to wear to meet her new beau’s parents.
When I saw them, I just couldn't resist, even though they are worth more than everything else in my closet combined. Anyone who knows me understands that clothes and shopping aren’t really my thing. For me to have this kind of reaction to a dress—let alone two—is kind of a big deal.
I examine the first dress closely. It’s subtle and classic, with long, sleek lines. It stands out being crimson red and clings to my body like a second skin. There is no denying it's hot, but it's not what I need tonight.
Tonight I need more than hot.
I need to blow him out of the water, stun him so he can’t speak, kind of sexy. I push the red dress aside and reach for my secret weapon. The dress that is going to get Rex Harris’ attention, once and for all. Because if this dress doesn't do the job, then nothing will.
I lay the dress down carefully on my bed and then race down to the bathroom. I quickly shower, before putting on some lip gloss and mascara, then I curl my hair just enough so that it bounces softly when I walk. He hasn’t seen me with my hair down. I look completely different. Less uptight, or something, as Ash would say.
I walk back to my bedroom and fumble through my drawers for my new lingerie. I flush as I pull it out and hold it up. It’s much more daring than anything I’ve worn before. Even buying it had felt like a big achievement.
Ash had gone missing in search of the perfect shoe, and I found myself in the lingerie section while searching for her. I saw the delicate lace bra and panty set, and I bought it without thinking about it. I thought I’d escaped Ash’s inevitable teasing, but she saw me at the register, ringing the purchase up. I should’ve known better than to try to pull one over on Ash, because she knows everything.
I put on my bra and then slide the thong over my thighs, admiring myself in the mirror. The black lacy fabric clings to my breasts, pushing them up in ways I never knew were possible. I reach for the dress and step into it, sliding it over my hips.
My heart races as I zip myself up. I turn slowly, staring at my reflection in the mirror. The soft, flowing material cuts off mid-thigh. It feels really short and completely out of my comfort zone, but holy shit do I look good. Hell, I'm making my own heart race. I smile, and then the panic sets in.
Maybe it’s too much. It screams sleep with me and while sure, that’s what I want, the thought of him thinking that’s all I’m after is enough to send me into a breakdown. I grab my phone and call Ash, the only person who can calm me down.
“I'm going out with Rex tonight,” I mumble, barely able to get the words out. “I'm wearing that black dress, and I'm freaking out. What if it's too much, Ash? Maybe I should wear the red one. Or cancel all together.”
“Don’t you dare change or cancel,” she gasps. “I bet you look incredible, and you obviously like the guy to agree to another date after last time.”
“But what if I just embarrass myself again?” I argue. All my insecurities are pouring out, and I don’t know how to stop them.
“If he doesn't want to fuck you senseless after seeing you in that dress, then he’s a fucking idiot, okay?” Ash grumbles. “Just believe in yourself. If you act confident, you’ll feel confident.”
“Okay,” I nod, taking deep breaths as my nerves begin to subside.
“Good, now get off the phone, finish getting ready, then go and get yourself some dick.”
“Ash,” I laugh at her crassness. “What are you, eighteen?”
“No. But that’s about how many years it’s been for you since getting dick,” she retorts with a giggle. “Oh, and take a picture and send it to me. I want to see how amazing you look.”
“Sure,” I say, rolling my eyes. For a moment there, I thought she wanted a picture of his dick.
Hanging up, I hold the phone and carefully aim the camera at the mirror, snapping a picture of myself. I send it, impressed with my skills. My phone vibrates, and I smirk as I open her reply.
Ash: Very impressive. Thanks for the preview, but I'd much rather see the product in person.
Confused, I reread the message, not understanding what she means. It's about then that I realize I didn't send it to Ash. Holy shit, I sent it to Rex. I gasp, my heart pounding as I sit down on my bed. Oh God. I can't believe I just did that. I'm mortified. I can't face him now. How can I face him after that?
My hands shake as I tap out a reply.
Me: I'm so sorry. That was supposed to be for my friend.
Rex: Don't be sorry. You look amazing. I can't wait to see you.
A shiver races through me. He thinks I look good. The relief I feel is incredible. I bite my lip to stop the sappy grin from taking over my mouth. If he thinks I look good in the dress, then imagine what he’s going to think with that dress crumpled up on his bedroom floor.
I wait in the foyer of the bar for Rex to arrive, craning my neck every time I hear the doors clicking open. It’s still early, but I’m as nervous as anything. My palms are soaked in sweat. I wi
pe them on the back of my skirt and then take a deep breath, feeling faint, like I’m going to pass out. Which is just what I need right now.
Finally, I see Rex. He smiles as he walks toward me, and I take his appearance in. He looks incredible in his fitted suit, which frames his body perfectly. He's auburn hair is perfectly styled, and the soft peppering of stubble that shadows his jawline is just screaming out to be touched.
“Shana. I'm glad you agreed to meet me again,” he murmurs when he reaches me. He leans over to kiss my cheek, nearly making me lose my balance. “I was right.”
“About?” I ask, frowning.
“You in that dress,” he murmurs. His gaze burns through me. “You look even better in person, though I’m not quite sure how that’s even possible.”
“Thanks,” I whisper, barely able to get the word out.
I let him take my hand, ignoring the tingles that race through my fingers every time he touches me. We walk through the classy cocktail bar and over to an empty table. I sit down, glad to be off my feet and have his hands away from me for a moment so I can think.
He slides onto the seat opposite me, a smile on his lips. I shiver, my stomach churning. He can’t keep his eyes off me. It’s a total backflip compared to how he was last week. Tonight feels more about me and less about business. Smiling, I accept the drinks menu from our waiter, quickly deciding on a wine. Rex orders a scotch and hands our menus back.
“So you wanted to talk about your offer,” I say, getting right to the point.
Anything to stop him from staring at me like that.
“What’s the rush?” he asks, smirking at me. “I thought we could get to know one another a little. We can talk business later.”
I stare at him, shocked. That’s something I hadn’t expected to hear. I shrug and then nod my agreement, trying not to show how happy I am to hear those words. I’m trying to be calm and relaxed, because I don’t want my eagerness to scare him off.
“So,” he says, raising his eyebrows. His eyes sparkle as he stares at me. “Tell me about yourself.”
I blush and look down to rearrange my napkin while I think about what to say. I hate that question. It’s right up there with being asked to describe your flaws during a job interview. In fact, I think I’d rather talk about my flaws.
“Honestly? There’s not really all that much to tell,” I mumble awkwardly.
He raises his eyebrows and chuckles. “I find that very hard to believe, considering how successful, engaging, and sexy you are.”
I flush again and look down. Does he really think that?
“What can I say?” I finally reply. “Work is my life, and other areas of my life have been neglected because of it.” I shrug like it’s no big deal, when in reality it’s everything. “I put everything on hold to get where I am.”
“Do you regret it?” he asks.
“Regret it?” I repeat. “In some ways, I guess I do. I wonder what I’m missing out on, whether life would be different if I’d chosen another path, or had different priorities.” I look at him. “What about you?”
“Well, the opposite is kind of true for me,” he admits with a wince.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Up until last week, having fun was my life,” he says. I smirk. I didn't know that about him. Here I was thinking all he did was work. He nods, bowing his head shamefully. “I've done more work in this past week than I have in my entire life. And I can honestly say that it's exhausting,” he adds with a chuckle.
“Well, that's funny, because I've had more dates in this last week than I have in my entire life,” I joke. He smiles at me, his eyes narrowing slightly.
“Is that what you think this is?” he murmurs, his eyes twinkling. “A date?”
“What makes you think I'm talking about you?” I ask smoothly, looking him in the eye.
He chuckles. “I guess I deserved that.”
I smile at the waiter as he places my wine in front of me. As soon as he moves away, I have a sip. I tingle as the effects begin to kick in, and my body relaxes. That should make things easier.
A few hours pass, and I'm shocked at how well this is going. The conversation is flowing freely and while I feel like I can talk to him about nearly anything, I still feel awkward opening up to him. Still, it's been fun just getting to know each other and learning more about him. He’s so easy to talk to.
“So,” he says, lifting his glass to his lips. “I guess we should talk about my offer, considering it’s getting late,” he murmurs.
“Was that your plan? To wait until you plied me with drinks?” I ask, releasing a giggle.
He smirks at me, his dark eyes penetrating mine.
“That wasn't my intention, but it's definitely a plan I'll have to remember for next time.” he teases.
“Look, would you mind if we don't talk about your proposal?” I say, stopping him before he can begin. It’s breaking me out of the moment, and just for a little bit longer, I want to pretend that this is a date and not just a way to persuade me into doing what he wants. “I promise you, I am thinking about it, I just don’t want to talk about it right now.”
He looks at me for a moment and then nods. “Sure. I’d much rather talk about you anyway.”
I smile and thank him, but in the back of my mind, I just want this over with. To the point where I’m considering just saying fuck it. Yes, I’ll do it.
My father definitely hasn’t made things easy for me. I've had to fight. I think I have the years of being undermined and underappreciated and never being given the opportunity that Rex is offering me. I can show my father what I'm worth. I can show them that I do have the guts to go behind his back to get what I want. He doesn't think I'm capable of being disloyal to him? Well, maybe I am. Maybe I'm much more capable of this than I first thought.
I glance at Rex and smile as he strokes my hand. This isn't a bad benefit from it all either. In fact, maybe I shouldn’t agree to anything just yet. Maybe I should hesitate about whether or not I can do this, just so he keeps trying to win me over. He's using me, so maybe I can use him right back to get what I want?
I know I'm playing with fire, but right now, all I can think is why not?
“It’s still early,” Rex says suddenly. “Do you want to come back to my place?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” I say shyly. I smile at him and then hesitate. “Do you mind if I run to the bathroom quickly?” I ask, color creeping into my cheeks.
He shrugs, his eyes shining with amusement.
“Sure. I’ll wait out front for you.”
I nod and then practically run across the barroom floor to the bathroom. Thankfully, I’m alone in there. My hands shake as I fumble through my purse in search of my phone. I eventually find it and call Ash.
“The date going that well, huh?” she says with a giggle.
I groan. “I’m standing in the bathroom at the bar. He invited me back to his house, Ash. And I said yes. Why would I say yes?” I practically shout. Thank God the stalls are empty. I lean against a stall door and close my eyes.
“Because you want to get laid?” Ash suggests with a snort. “You can do this, Shana. What are you so afraid of?”
“Making a fool of myself,” I mutter.
“But who cares if you do?” she asks. “If that’s the worst thing that can happen, then you’re doing pretty good.” She sighs. “You can do this, Shana. Just go back with him and see what happens. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. You’re not obligated to sleep with him just because you agreed to go to his house.”
I nod. She's right. “Okay,” I mumble. “Thanks, Ash.”
I hang up and take a deep breath, before turning on my heel and leaving the bathroom. I can do this. I find Rex out front. He smiles when he sees me.
“Are you ready?” he asks.
I nod. “Yep. I'm ready.”
Or at least, I’m as ready as I’m going to be.
Seven
Rex
I glance down, surprised by her boldness. I can barely believe my luck, this is going so well. Pretending that I'm interested in her is incredibly easy, considering that she's an attractive, professional young woman with a lot of drive. Honestly, I'm not really pretending all that much. The attraction is definitely there, and I enjoy talking to her. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s sexy as fuck. God, her in that dress…I shiver, almost ready to pull the car over and fuck her on the backseat.
I shake my head and laugh.
“What’s so funny?” she asks, narrowing her eyes.
“Nothing, I just didn't expect to be taking you back to my place tonight,” I admit. She smiles at me, a spark in her eyes.
“Neither did I. Want to know something?” she asks. She bites her lips, her eyes bright with excitement. “When you first asked me out, I was so excited because from the moment you walked in to that meeting, all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss you.”
I glance at her and smirk. Is this the alcohol or her talking? Either way, it’s going to be fun reminding her of this conversation tomorrow.
“Really?” I say. I have to admit, I like hearing that. I shift in my seat as my cock twitches, and then glance back over at her. She leans over and turns up the radio, then starts swaying in her seat.
“I love this song,” she says, singing along with the lyrics. I watch her, amused, turned on, and just captivated as she closes her eyes and sings. When the song is finished, she opens her eyes and blushes when she realizes that I’ve been staring at her the whole time.
“Why stop there?” I tease with a smirk. “Sing as much as you like.”
Laughing, she looks out the window as I pull into the driveway of my house.
