I know that might not sound bad, but when you went from a passion that ignited in so many different ways that you had no choice but to fight or screw it out to constantly walking on eggshells around the other person, it was pure torture.
I’d have given anything for him to push my buttons the way he used to, even if it led to a fight, if it meant I’d get a glimpse at the Caleb I had fallen in love with.
Don’t get me wrong, the way he tried to go about taking care of me—making me lemon water when my stomach was unsettled, or checking I was eating enough—only made me love him even more. But it felt like that fire that had initially brought us together had been snuffed out.
I missed it.
I missed him.
We might have shared a bed every night, but he hadn’t touched me in an intimate way since moving in. I was afraid there was no going back to the us we used to be. And that realization made me unbelievably sad.
To make matters worse, I felt like the worst friend in the universe. I hadn’t been there for Lola like she deserved during her wedding planning. And I’d completely dropped the ball with Sophia during her latest drama with Dominic.
The contest we were doing on our show had finally come to an end, and Sophia was all set to meet the man she’d chosen as the winner, who would be her date to Lola and Grayson’s wedding. Turned out, the man who’d been known as BigSpoon for the past three months was none other than Dominic himself.
To say Sophia had lost her mind was putting it mildly. The entire segment had been streamed live for our audience to witness, and ended with Sophia going Ali on his ass, punching him right in the face for hundreds of thousands of people to witness. That ended in a hefty little fine we were responsible for paying and yet another reprimand from HR.
The three of us were quickly garnering a reputation around the station as the women who punched first and asked questions later.
Shortly after that shit storm, Lola and Dominic’s estranged father passed away. I joined them in New York for the funeral to offer moral support, but other than being a shoulder to lean on, I’d been pretty useless. I’d been there in body, but my mind had been back in Seattle with Caleb.
The silver lining was that Sophia and Dominic seemed to be working through their issues, and Lola was only days away from walking down the aisle and giving herself over to a man who’d proven time and again that he was just crazy enough to handle her special brand of sass.
I was glad that my friends had found the loves of their lives, even if it was looking like I wasn’t going to be so lucky.
I wasn’t sure how much longer I could go on pretending like everything was all sunshine and roses when it was so obvious there was a major disconnect between Caleb and me. Case in point: when I’d come downstairs after a midday nap the day before—something I seemed to be doing more and more—he’d been having a whispered conversation with someone on his cell phone. All I managed to hear was “I don’t care how much time or money it takes. I want it done now” before he spotted me hovering at the base of the stairs.
The moment he saw me, he made a quick excuse to end the call, then pretended that everything was perfectly normal. I didn’t feel I had the right to ask about it, so I’d brushed it under the rug, along with the billion other things that left me feeling unsettled.
A million questions ran through my mind. Was he talking to his lawyer? Was he going to try and take the baby from me once it was born? Was there already another woman in the picture?
Each question made that black hole in my chest grow bigger and bigger, and I’d silently cried myself to sleep that night, going up to bed well before he normally did so I could have that time to myself.
When I told him about the OB appointment I had scheduled for this morning and invited him to come along, I’d expected him to make some excuse. But he surprised me by not only accepting my invitation, but actually appearing excited about going.
“You ready for this?” Caleb asked, polite as ever as I looked from the monitor to him. The sanitary paper on the table crinkled beneath me as the doctor lifted my shirt and squirted a cold blue gel onto my stomach.
“Yep,” I answered quietly as I watched the small TV screen in anticipation. The doctor spread the gel around with her wand, trying to get the best angle for a visual of my little bean. I was so engrossed in the screen that I gave a startled jump when Caleb’s hands came down on my shoulders. My gaze shot up to find him smiling down at me.
I felt the warmth of that smile all the way down to my toes. Then out of nowhere the room filled with the sound of rushing water.
“What’s that?” I asked, looking back to the doctor.
She gave Caleb and me a knowing grin and announced, “That’s your baby’s heart. Listen carefully and you can hear the beating.”
I focused on the sound and sure enough, a second later I could make out the faint whom whom beneath the whooshing. It was the most miraculous sound I’d ever heard.
“Oh my god,” I whispered.
“And if you look right here,” the doctor stated, pointing at a flickering light on the monitor, “you can actually see her heartbeat. It’s nice and strong.”
“Her?” Caleb asked, his tone full of amazement. “It’s a girl?”
She grinned and pointed at something else on the screen that I couldn’t make out through the glassy film of tears filling my eyes. “That’s right, Daddy. You’re having a little girl. She’s cooperating perfectly today. Looks like she wants to put on a show for her parents.” She rolled the little ball around, clicking it a few times to take some pictures. “All ten fingers and toes, and she’s measuring at about eighteen weeks, which is right on schedule.”
“A little girl,” Caleb repeated, pulling my attention from my little bean, which wasn’t so little anymore. I’d never seen his eyes so bright than when they met mine just then, and I couldn’t help but smile at the joy radiating down at me. “We’re having a little girl.” His voice was rough and gravelly as he said it. And when he dropped his forehead to mine and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose, a few happy tears trickled down my cheeks because I felt like I’d finally gotten a piece of my Caleb back.
“This is so amazing,” he declared a while later when we were in his car on the way home. “I can’t believe… Shit. Daphne. We’re having a baby!”
I giggled, looking up from the ultrasound pictures in my hands. “Yeah, you’ve known that for a while now.”
The smile hadn’t left his face since we walked out of the doctor’s office. “I know, but I guess it just didn’t seem real to me until just now, you know? I mean, you get to feel everything since you’re the one carrying her, but you’re not even showing yet. Today was the first chance that I’ve gotten to experience anything.”
I loved how he explained what seeing our daughter for the first time felt like. “I get it. I’ve been getting these little flutters in my belly that kind of feel like wings. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but then I figured out it was her flipping around in there. But it’s so light that you couldn’t feel it just by putting your hand on my belly. I’m glad you got a firsthand look at her today.”
He reached across the console and took my hand in his, tangling our fingers together as he shot me an exuberant smile. “I am too. Although….”
“Although what?” I asked when he didn’t finish.
“If she looks anything like you, I’m fucked when she becomes a teenager.” I threw my head back in a fit of laughter even though he looked serious as could be. “And if she even thinks about bringing home a boy who’s even the slightest bit like me, I’m boarding up her windows and locking her in her room until she hits menopause.”
My laughter faded into a lingering giggle as I gave his hand a squeeze and looked out the window. “I don’t know,” I said quietly. “You’re not so bad.”
And he really wasn’t.
As far as I was concerned, our little girl would be lucky to land a man like her father.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Caleb
“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a-fucking-gain, Henry. I don’t care how much it costs. There’s no way a bitch like that doesn’t have something in her past that can be used against her. Go all the way back to her fucking birth if you have to.”
Henry Danforth, my private investigator in New York, sighed through the line. “I’m telling you, McMannus, there’s nothing to find. The only thing Connie King is better at than blackmailing people is covering up the fact that she’s blackmailed people. If you’d just talk to the daughter—”
“Not going to happen,” I told him for the hundredth time. “We aren’t pulling Daphne into this. That woman made her life a living hell growing up, and I’m not adding to any of that. Besides, I’m not even sure that she’s still Daphne anymore. I think what we thought was a baby is actually some sort of alien life form that’s using her as a host and slowly taking control of her body.”
Henry laughed heartily through the line. “Aw, yeah. I remember thinking something like that back when my Suzie was pregnant with our first. She was sweet as pie one minute, and the next she was waving a butter knife around in the air threatening to unman me for eating the last piece of banana bread. Good news is they snap out of it.”
I blew out a puff of air and rubbed at the back of my neck. “I sure fucking hope you’re right about that,” I said. “She went off on me for a good thirty minutes the other night because I bought dryer sheets instead of liquid fabric softener. No freaking joke, man, she didn’t take a single breath during that entire rant. Not one. Face turned all purple and everything. That can’t be good for the baby. Ten minutes later she was sobbing on the kitchen floor because there was no mustard to dip her pickles in. Then she locked herself in the bathroom when I told her that particular food combination sounded disgusting.”
There was more laughter. “Yeah, well you try growing another human being inside your belly, having it screw with every chemical makeup you got, and tell me you don’t get a little touchy every now and then.”
“There’s a reason women are the ones in charge of populating the earth. If we were responsible, our species would be obsolete.”
“Truer words have never been spoken, my friend. Anyway, I’ll let you know if I manage to find anything.”
I gave him my thanks and hung up, plopping down on one of the cement benches scattered around the garden. I gave my bow tie a tug, trying to loosen the stiff collar of my tux. Even with the cool temperatures outside my skin felt overheated.
I couldn’t get comfortable no matter how hard I tried. I was happy for Grayson and all, but I was ready to get this day over with so I could get home and out of this uncomfortable-as-shit suit.
“There you are.” I looked over my shoulder at the sound of Grayson’s voice. He rounded the bench and took a seat next to me.
“What are you doing out here?” I asked. “Shouldn’t you be inside stalking your bride-to-be to ensure she doesn’t make a run for it?”
“Real funny, dickhole,” he deadpanned, a dry look on his face. “Like she’d try to make a run for it.” His expression grew uncertain as he asked, “Do you really think she’d try to make a run for it?”
I laughed and smacked him on the back. “She’s not going to do a runner, brother,” I reassured him. “For reasons that will probably never be discovered, she seems to love your cranky, ugly ass.”
He looked at the darkening sky. “Fuck me, I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous in my life.”
“Not even the first time you handled a multimillion-dollar buyout on your own?” I teased.
His voice was dead serious as he answered, “Not even then.”
My good humor faded as I studied my best friend closely. “You aren’t having second thoughts, are you? ’Cause you know you’ll never land another chick as hot as Lola, right?”
He smiled, chuckling softly. “Nope, no second thoughts. Never been so sure of anything in my life. I guess what I’m nervous about is not deserving her.” He moved his attention from the sky to me. “Does that even make any sense?”
“Yeah, I think I know where you’re coming from,” I answered after giving it some thought. I understood because I pretty much felt like that on a daily basis when it came to Daphne. I was so fucking scared of screwing up somehow that I’d spent the past month on eggshells, careful not to do or say anything that could start a fight. My fear was that she’d wake up one day and realize I wasn’t worth the hassle. Then she’d be gone.
I was so consumed with trying to be the perfect partner for her that I’d almost forgotten what it was like to just be myself. I got a piece of that back the other day when we went in for the ultrasound, but with her unexpected—and frighteningly violent—mood swings, the good feeling hadn’t lasted long.
“Jesus,” Grayson muttered, breaking through my miserable thoughts. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you think so damn hard.”
Ignoring the dig, I looked at my best friend, the man who seemed to have his shit completely together, and asked, “How did you know you loved Lola?”
Seeming momentarily perplexed by my question, he hesitated before giving me an answer. “I guess I knew when I tried to picture a life without her in it.”
“Were you able to?”
He watched me curiously. “What’s brought all this on, man? Is there something going on with you that you haven’t told me?”
Anxiety twisted my stomach into knots. “Just answer the question. Were you able to picture a life without her?”
“Yeah, I was,” he replied like a punch to the throat. “But it wasn’t an image I liked at all. In fact, I pretty much hated it. Then I tried to picture my life with another woman, marrying her, having kids with her. That was even worse. But it was when I pictured Lola having that with another man that I lost it. I knew that, even if I didn’t deserve her, no man on this planet would try harder than me to come close enough. I knew I loved her when life with her was a hell of a lot brighter than one without her. Even when she pisses me off and drives me crazy—and she does that a lot—she lights everything up for me.”
Christ. Jesus Christ! Fuck me, it was like he was speaking out loud every goddamn thing I’d been thinking for the past month. It felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. I struggled to breathe, to think.
I loved her. I fucking loved Daphne. In the back of my mind, I’d suspected that was what I was feeling, but I didn’t trust that it was real until the guy I respected in every single way confirmed it.
I loved her. But what was more, she loved me too. She was the first woman to ever say that without using it as a way to manipulate me. My own freaking mother didn’t tell me she loved me without attaching strings to it.
Daphne said it and didn’t expect anything in return, and I’d been too busy turning myself inside out, worrying about a future I had absolutely no control over to really let it sink in.
I was a jackass.
“I love Daphne,” I admitted out loud for the first time. “Pretty sure I have for a while, but I was too slow on the uptake to see it.”
“Wait. What?”
No time like the present to tell the truth. “We’ve been seeing each other for a while. Longer than you and Lola, actually. But I was an asshole at first, so it took a while to get us to a good place. But now I love her.”
“You….” He shook his head like he was trying to rattle something loose. “I’m sorry. You and Daphne have been together all this time? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“It’s a long, convoluted story, and we have to get you down the aisle pretty soon so we don’t have time to dive into all that right now. But the short and sweet of it is that it started as a fling and we kept it a secret because our friends are all nosey bastards.”
We stood from the bench and started for the door that led into the over-the-top venue Lola and Gray had chosen for their wedding.
He snorted loudly. “Can’t even be mad at you for that one be
cause it’s the truth.”
The frazzled wedding planner who’d been in charge of the big day spotted us the minute we stepped inside and came running over. “Oh, and one more thing.”
Gray looked at me over his shoulder as the hyperactive wedding planner started dragging him away. “Yeah? What’s that?”
“I’ve moved into her house. My apartment’s up for sale. And she’s pregnant. We’re having a little girl.”
“What?”
Maybe it was wrong to drop that bomb on him when he couldn’t pry for more information. But wrong or not, I sure as hell got a laugh out of it.
Daphne
My little bean and I were going to have a serious talk soon. She was wreaking some serious havoc on my emotional well-being. First I was sobbing like a baby over cheesy Hallmark movies. Then I morphed into a raving banshee bitch from hell, snapping at Caleb over things I normally wouldn’t give a shit about.
I mean, dryer sheets? Who the hell cared about dryer sheets? Psycho Pregnant Daphne, that’s who.
Now it was taking everything in me not to throw myself at Lola and bawl my happiness for her out all over her immaculate dress. I barely made it through the ceremony without ruining the amazing job the makeup artist had done on my face.
Pregnancy was for the birds.
And I really wanted a glass of champagne… or a mojito. Ooh, yeah. A mojito sounds good.
Son of a bitch.
“May I have this dance?” My heart stuttered at the sound of Caleb’s voice. Wedding party duties had been so consuming that other than spotting him during pictures—and maybe staring at him with a little too much longing during the vows—I’d barely said more than two words to him.
Without giving me a chance to answer, he took me by the hand and started pulling me toward the dance floor as the beginning threads of a slow ballad began to play. He stopped us at the center of the floor and spun me with surprising flourish before pulling me into his body. One arm wrapped around my waist while he kept my other hand firmly in his, and he started swaying us to the music.
Enticing Daphne Page 19
