“Here, this belongs to you.” He placed a vial on the table and moved back to the door once again.
A shimmering ethereal white substance swirled inside the vial. “What is it?”
“Your memories.”
I looked at him sharply. “What are you on about?”
He swallowed hard. “You’re not human Kenna.”
God he looked so serious.
“I know.”
“You do?”
“I’m some kind of hybrid soul.” I pointed to the collar around my neck. “It’s why I can wear this thing. You do know about the flame right? Mum seems to think you know plenty.”
The sombre expression didn’t shift. “I know about the flame. I figured, since you’re wearing the collar, that you know you’re a hybrid soul. But when I said you’re not human, I meant not at all. Your hybrid soul is made up of two sets of otherworld DNA.”
Not human at all? That couldn’t be right. I’d kinda figured that mum was Twilighter due to her connection to Lauren, but my dad was human. I’d never met him, but mum told such wonderful stories about what an amazing man he was . . . was any of it true?
“Kenna?”
“Sorry I just . . .Who am I? What am I?”
“You are the last living heir to the Ibris’ throne.”
Had I heard him right?
“Kenna, you’re part efreet.” His expression grew animated. “You have a claim to the throne. Are you understanding me?”
This couldn’t be happening. It was just too much. “How . . . How can you be so sure?”
“Your mother is a Twilighter Kenna, and a long time ago, before Ibris fell, she was his lover.”
My mother and Ibris? No . . . This was just too much. I was human . . . I had humanity.
“You’re part Twilighter and part djinn—an unheard of combination. Twilighters tend to have a natural aversion to djinn, and even if they did decide to copulate they shouldn’t be able to produce offspring. You, Kenna, are an anomaly, and a closely guarded secret, until now.” He waved his hand in the vial’s direction. “Drink it and be whole.”
“And you? How are you connected to all of this?”
“The answers you need are in that vial.”
“Fine.” I picked up the vial, unscrewed the lid, and downed the contents. “Well? What’s supposed to . . .”
“I don’t want to kill it!”
“You’ll kill it if you want ta eat.” Aaron said.
I shook my head. “I’d rather starve.”
We were out in the wilds, just the two of us. This was my trial, my path to becoming a warrior. I hated this body, this male form that they had forced me into. But the black mages were insistent. To grow I must experience.
Aaron shrugged. “Then you’ll starve.” He turned his rabbit, already slaughtered and skinned, on a spit. It smelled delicious, and surely Aaron wouldn’t let me go hungry. So I waited until his rabbit was cooked, watching surreptitiously as he cut up the meat and then almost sobbed with hunger as he gobbled it all up.
He licked his fingers clean and dropped me a wink. “Sleep well, Dale.”
My stomach grumbled, then growled, but I stood my ground. I would not kill an innocent animal for food. The rabbit in the sack hopped around for a good hour and finally went still. Hunger clawing at my belly, I carefully untied the bag. I didn’t want to kill the animal but a part of me, the part that strived to survive, wouldn’t allow me to set it free either.
The rabbit lay still and glassy eyed in the sack.
Dead.
It must have suffocated.
Slowly, almost reverently I pulled it out of the sack. My stomach screamed out for food but I took my time, carefully cleaning and skinning the animal before spearing it on the spit.
“You got lucky there boy,” Aaron said.
I ignored him, still angry with him for making me do this.
“I don’t enjoy the kill, but to survive we must sometimes make harsh choices, and—”
“I don’t want to hear it!” I snapped. In this life my voice had yet to break, but my mind was sharp—decades old—and I was weary. “I don’t want to do this any longer.”
“Baby girl, this way you won’t feel the passage of time. This way when the time is right we can give you back all your memories. All the knowledge,” Ma said.
“And who decides when the time is right?” I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my tone. This time I was a woman in a seaside village saturated with the smell of fish. The black mages had left me alone, eager to watch me forge my own path, and I’d done well for myself—married a rich merchant who had unfortunately been killed at sea. He’d left me financially secure and I’d spent the next decade purchasing property and land until I owned two-thirds of the village.
It was time to move on, because learning was the objective, and getting noticed was a prohibited.
Ma smoothed my hair. “This way you won’t feel so trapped Anna.”
I wanted it over. I wanted to be ready. I wanted to claim what was rightfully mine.
“I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you!” I clung to Lauren, a storm of tears gathering behind my eyes.
Lauren pulled away slightly, forcing me to look up into his youthful face. “We still have time, Brialla. Let’s not waste it with tears.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes and the storm broke. I clung to his shirt, sobbing into the soft fabric, knowing that from this moment on our time together was rapidly running short.
“I won’t forget, Lauren. I’ll come back.” Our lips were a mere inch apart and I wanted him to finally do it, to kiss me, to claim me. All this time he’d kept a distance, loving me but never loving me, but now it was time for me to leave and be made anew. I needed this to ground me. I needed to remember. “Lauren . . .” It was a quivering demand. His eyes darkened, his lips descended on mine . . .
“Will it hurt?”
Ma nodded. “Yes baby girl, it will hurt, but you won’t remember the pain, and I’ll be there when it’s over. I promise.”
I looked over her shoulder at Halle and Frederick, Lauren’s parents. Lauren hadn’t come. We’d agreed to say our goodbyes the night before, below the stars with heated kisses and desperate caresses. My skin tingled at the memory—a memory which I’d now have to relinquish.
“Are you ready?” Ma held out a vial.
I took it, staring at the dark substance inside. “I’m ready.”
And I was. I knew what I needed to do and who I needed to become to reach my goal. I needed to grow, learn and experience. But most importantly, I needed to live. I unscrewed the vial and tipped the contents into my mouth.
The trance released me and I surfaced, filled with memories that felt strange and alien in my mind.
Lauren’s chest rose and fell rapidly. “I’ve waited for this moment for so long . . . for you to remember me and what we had.”
Yes, I remembered. I remembered it all, but it was like a movie I’d watched a long time ago and recalled fondly. The memories settled into the back of my mind as if they’d never left—my many lives and my first true love, Lauren. But the surge of love and passion didn’t come. He was watching me expectantly, but after a few seconds his smiled died and his expression shuttered.
He’d always read me so easily.
What could I say? There were no words. He’d waited for me all this time . . . “I’m sorry. I really am. I just don’t—”
“Feel it. You don’t feel it. I get it.” His lips tightened and he stepped into my personal space, forcing his scent on me and filling my head with a yearning ache. “Do you feel it now?”
Oh, fuck. The pulse between my thighs throbbed with need. Yes. I wanted him.
A hand clamped on my arm and yanked me away from Lauren.
“No,” Aaron stood between us, his attention fixed on Lauren. “Not like this. Go get some air.” There was no arguing with that tone.
Lauren dropped his head into his hands. “I’m sorry . . .” he stumbled back t
oward the door and out into the garden.
Aaron pulled out a chair and asked me to sit.
“I feel terrible.”
“Don’t. This is the way it was meant to be.” Aaron said. “Bran, Frederick, and I were charged to protect you as a babe. Lauren took the reins once his father passed.”
“Yes I remember. You were members of the black mages.”
“Good.”
I smiled. “Aye, and the rabbit you wanted me to kill.”
His eyes lit up with the memory. “You were a stubborn thing, still are by the sounds of it. I remember the day your mother came to us, carrying Ibris’s seed—carrying you. At first we were sceptical of her story, but then she birthed you. We were on the move, you see, the three of us charged with keeping her safe. I remember the moon that night, full and proud to guide us. You were born in an abandoned barn. No witness except the three of us and the moon herself. You burned so bright you lit up the night sky and we were forced to realise that we may be in possession of the one thing that could end the chaos in the fifth dimension. We’ve worked ever since to mask you, to hide you and protect you, for if certain players were to discover your existence too soon then your life would have been forfeit.”
I remembered now. As part djinn I’d needed time to mature and gain the world knowledge essential to the growth of my power, so that one day I could claim my rightful place on the throne. I remembered the first five lifetimes, never lasting more than a few decades, and never staying in one place too long. Then there’d been the pain of rebirth—over and over again until I was sick to my stomach of the cycle.
“Once we agreed to store your memories you seemed more content. You and Lauren fell in love, despite Frederick’s best efforts, and then it was time to move you to the human realm. We planned on taking your memories again, but Lauren was a young man in love and argued with his father about letting you go. Why to the human realm, he said, why can’t she stay here with us until she’s ready? You overheard and we were forced to tell you the truth. You were devastated.:
“But why move me? Surely Lauren had a point.”
“You were finally ready for the biggest lesson . . .”
Oh god. “Humanity . . .”
He grinned. “Yes. Humanity. To understand what made them tick you’d need to live amongst them, as one of them. If you were to truly grow as ruler of djinn, you needed to understand the nature of man. Only then would you succeed in enforcing the laws that protected humanity by making it untouchable.”
“Humans are supposed to be a no-go area for djinn?”
“Yes. Also for Twilighters, although in times of chaos the rules haven’t always been enforced. Ibris’s death brought chaos to all our worlds and it spread fast. You were reborn in the human realm, but it soon became evident that being in the mortal realm didn’t give you humanity.”
Bran cleared his throat. “Your mother soon realised that humanity was linked to the mortal soul, and until you had one of your own you wouldn’t be able to fully absorb the essence of humanity.”
“So,” Aaron continued. “Your mother had another child with a human male.”
“Bella . . .” My hands grew cold. I didn’t like where this was leading.
“We bound Bella’s soul to yours, and through Bella you finally learned what it was to be human.”
Bella was my humanity? All this time I’d been strutting about, arrogant because of my humanity, thinking I was better than the refugees that lived amongst us. Believing my life meant more than theirs, that I was special. Mums words . . . Cimren’s words . . . They surged up in my mind like a precognitive warning. Humanity was a gift that could be shared . . . just like Bella had shared hers with me. Through her I’d finally become the woman I was meant to be but . . . if Bella’s soul was bound to me like I was bound to the flame then . . . oh god . . . That’s why she was sick. The collar was draining Bella through me!
I grasped the metal at my neck. “I have to get this off!”
Aaron smiled sadly and shook his head. “It was always meant to be this way, Kenna. Bella was always meant to be the sacrificial child. One life to save the many.”
I tugged on the collar, my vision clouding, my eyes burning. I was doing this. I was killing my baby sister! “Please, there must be some way to save her.”
“I’m sorry Kenna. I wish there was. But you can honour her memory by saving humanity. Don’t let her sacrifice be for nothing.”
Her sacrifice? She hadn’t agreed to any of this, she was just a child, a child who looked up to her big sister. Who expected her big sister to protect her from all the monsters out there, and now her sister was the monster that was slowly killing her.
“Kenna, you know in your heart what you need to do. You’ve always known it by instinct, and now you have your memories back you can be certain of your path,” Bran said.
“It was the reason you put on that collar.” Aaron said “You were ready to sacrifice yourself to save humanity, even without remembering your true nature or purpose.”
Except I’d thought I’d be saving my sister too . . .
I blinked back tears of impotence. I didn’t want this . . . didn’t want the memories or the responsibility if it meant losing her. She was the biggest piece of my heart. I couldn’t . . . I wouldn’t survive without her.
“She can’t die. I can’t lose her.”
Aaron pressed his lips together. “Dammit, Kenna, child, if she lives they all die. Every last one of them. Every man, woman, and child in Lindrealm will be consumed by the hoard. You know what you have to do. You know it.”
Even if it meant killing a part of myself? Oh god . . . even if it meant killing a part of myself . . .
I drew a shuddering breath and exhaled through my nose. “How much time does she have?”
Bran shrugged. “I couldn’t say, but the closer you are to the flame the less it needs to siphon.”
I remembered why the flame was so important now, what it really was. I needed to get back to it. Aaron had sent me to the fortress the first time with his strange black gem.
“Can you send me back?”
“The portal stone only works once a year, on the day the tithe is collected.”
Crap! It looked like I’d have to do it the hard way. I fingered Baal’s business card tucked in my pocket.
“How will you get back?” Bran asked.
“Don’t worry. I know a djinn who has connections. I should be fine. If not, I’ll head back here and we’ll have to take a trip through Twilight to get there.”
They exchanged strained glances.
“What?”
“Cutting through Twilight is not an option,” Aaron said.
“Why?”
“We can’t risk you being spotted,” Bran explained.
I didn’t have time for this overly cautious crap. “I’ve lived five lifetimes in Twilight, I think I know how to keep a low profile. Besides, these players you kept me safe from all these years won’t be looking for a human.”
“Aaron . . .” Bran said.
Aaron shook his head sharply.
They were hiding something. “Tell me.”
Aaron fixed me with his steely gaze. “No. Now isn’t the time. But I give you my word that I will tell you everything soon.”
There was no time to argue. I was on a clock. Bella was on a clock. I needed to get back to the flame to slow down its siphoning effects. It wouldn’t save her but . . . That was something I didn’t want to dwell on.
I pushed back my chair and stood. “It was good to see you again guys, and thanks . . . for keeping me alive.”
Bran inclined his head. “We may have helped hide you Kenna, but make no mistake, you are solely responsible for not losing your life.” His attention dropped to my leg.
He knew about that?
I stood a little taller. Yes, I was alive and I had a task to fulfil.
***
To leave without saying goodbye to Lauren would have been cruel. He sat on a benc
h in the garden watching the moon.
“I have to leave.”
“I know.”
There were no words to sooth his pain and no time to think of any. “Thanks for protecting me and guiding me. Thanks for just being there.”
He looked at me with a wry smile. “Every time you walked away, every time you said goodbye, all that kept me going was the thought of the moment that I would give you back your memories. I clung to the hope that you would remember what we had and that we would finally be reunited.”
“I’m s—”
“Don’t apologise. Please. This is not your fault. This is just . . . life.” He looked away, his face etched in moonlight. “The day you decided to be Fearless I knew we’d done the right thing. That you were on the right path and it would all be worthwhile to see you on the throne where you belonged.” He dropped his gaze to my wrist and I followed it. The mark was all but gone now. “Did you know that Twilighters were made from angel tears?”
I shook my head.
He chuckled. “Well, that’s what they say. We burn bright and beautiful for eternity, and yet we are woven from sorrow.” He stood and smoothed down his pants. “I will survive your loss, Kenna. I promise you.” But his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Besides, there are battles to be fought right here.”
His words should have brought me relief, so why did my stomach flutter with anxiety? “I should go.”
“Goodbye Kenna.”
I headed back into the house where a mirror was waiting to take me back to the human realm.
CHAPTER42
V alla was standing in the kitchen, her eyes glued to the tiny T.V. screen she kept in there for her breaks. Her lips were parted slightly and her Adam’s apple bobbed up and down nervously.
“Hey? What you watching?”
It was an emergency broadcast. A reporter was standing on the Times Bridge with the gateway to Evernight behind him. Men in uniform ran back and forth before the gate, but the thing that caught my attention, the scene that had Valla gulping in fear, was the frothing dark mass that was gathering in the centre of the usually smooth gate. Swirls of crimson and purple laced through the seething mass. Tendrils of darkness began to seep out into the air. Dark laces of menace wove around the guards, and then they were firing on each other. Several other tendrils slipped away, over the city.
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