“Come on, boy,” she said in disbelief.
Anshon was there in less than five minutes. He beeped the horn, and Monica came outside. She was already showered and changed.
“Look at you, cutie.” Anshon kissed her on the cheek as she entered his car. Catching a quick peek of her ass, he shook his head. Just then, his phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Anshon.” It was Tammy. “I heard about what happened at the club last night. I can’t believe that shit.”
“Me either.” Anshon shook his head, thinking of Doughnut. “I feel sorry for Doughnut and Lexie’s little girl.”
“Yeah, me too,” Tammy said. “That’s why I’ma drive to Atlanta. I need to see my kids. Thank God for Aunt Rosa helping me out with them. Anshon . . .”
“What’s up, big sis?”
“I’m moving.” Tammy took a deep breath. “I need to be with my kids. These months without them have been hell. Aunt Rosa said I could stay with her. Plus, there’s a hospital there with one of the best physical therapy clinics in the country. I could take physical therapy to get the strength back into my legs and be able to raise my kids again.”
Anshon felt like he wanted to cry. His sister was all he had.
“I told you I was done with the game, Anshon,” Tammy continued. “Now it’s time for me to get my life back.”
“You couldn’t tell me this in person?” he asked.
“No, because I didn’t want to cry . . . like I am now,” she whimpered.
“Big sis, don’t cry.” Anshon couldn’t look at Monica because he thought that he might break out in tears.
Although Monica had only known Anshon for a night, she felt close to him. She took his free hand and placed it in her lap. He squeezed her thigh and smiled. The tears that he wasn’t able to catch fell from his eyes.
“When are you leaving?” Anshon asked.
“Right now.”
“What!” Anshon screeched.
“I have to, Anshon. Please. I didn’t wanna see you because I knew I would never be able to leave you.”
Anshon’s heart felt like it wanted to break, but he knew that as bad as he needed Tammy, he knew that her kids needed her more. And given the shit that went down with Tom-Tom at the pool hall, Anshon really didn’t want Tammy anywhere around.
“I’ma miss you, Tammy.”
“I’ma miss you too, Anshon. I need you to send my things. All I can carry are a few pieces.”
“You got that. I love you, big sis.”
* * *
Constance paced back and forth in the living room of her apartment, with her arms crossed and a mean look on her face. When she heard a motorcycle pull up, she went to the door and unlocked it. Wallo came in and didn’t pull off his helmet until he closed and locked the door behind him.
“What the fuck? Anshon came here a minute ago and grabbed me by the collar. I think he knows,” Constance said in a panic.
“He don’t know shit. Where’s the cash and shit?”
“All over my damn living room. Don’t you see it?”
He looked around and smiled. He moved toward Constance and began to rub her shoulders.
She pushed him away. “Where have you been?”
“Somethin’ came up.” He gently grabbed her arm and turned her around.
“I’m so mad at you right now!” she snapped. “You be lettin’ Teck talk to me any kinda way.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve been getting on him about his mouth. I’m sorry, baby.” He unfolded her arms and placed them around his neck as he moved his arms around her waist. “I’ma make it up to you.”
“I’ve heard that one before.”
“You like your new car, right?”
“Yeah, and I’m worried about folks asking about my new car. I just made sergeant last week.” She smiled.
“So?” He kissed her on the neck.
“So, people are wondering how I got a Benz so soon.”
“Don’t worry about that.” He ran his hands through her auburn hair. “I love you, girl.”
She kissed him. “I’m ready to leave Selma.”
“I know that, baby.” He continued to play in her hair. “Soon enough. Soon enough.”
* * *
No sooner than Fe-Fe stepped foot in the drug rehab program did she turn around and come back out. “I’ma try to do this on my own,” she said to Teck as she got back in the car. “Them niggas in there”—She shook her head—“is some real goddamn crackheads. And if that’s how I look, I know I gotta kick this shit.”
Teck burst out laughing. “Come on, Fe-Fe. Let’s go home. I tell you what: If I catch you gettin’ high, I’ma kick yo’ ass.”
“I can do it, Teck,” Fe-Fe assured him. “I just need somebody to believe in me.”
“Well, I believe in you.”
The first thing Teck made Fe-Fe do when they got back to her house was clean up. The house was just plain nasty, and it didn’t make any sense.
Once she finished cleaning, he sat her down and said, “I like you a li’l bit. You seem like you could be cool. But I ain’t fuckin’ you until you have an AIDS test. I don’t give a damn how good you look. AIDS don’t have a face.”
Fe-Fe sucked her teeth but reluctantly agreed. “You gonna go on the block?” she asked, not knowing, exactly what to say to him.
“Why?” He shrugged his shoulders.
“Because if you want to . . . you can sell from here. I can get the word out through the grapevine that you holding . . . and then you won’t have to be all out in the open. It’s just an idea, but I guess you gotta go see your girl or something.”
“The first rule of the street,” Teck said, pulling Fe-Fe on the couch next to him, “is you can never get high off your own supply.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she snapped.
“It means”—He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead—“that if you fuck with my shit, we’re done. And then I’ma kill you.”
“Shut up. Why you talking dumb?” Fe-Fe said. “I already told you that I ain’t gonna get high no more.”
“A’ight, li’l bit, we’ll see . . . and another thing: I don’t have a girl.”
Fe-Fe’s face lit up. She smiled and hugged him tight.
* * *
Two weeks passed, and Tom-Tom was still nowhere to be found, Tammy was in Atlanta with her aunt and her kids, Monica and Anshon were kickin’ it hard, and Teck and Fe-Fe had locked down the block. Anshon was the connect, Teck cut up and distributed the weight, while Fe-Fe held the dough. Fe-Fe never asked Teck for anything extra. She took her AIDS test as promised, and most of the money that she and Teck made, she took her cut and sent it to the cousin who took care of her twin boys.
Teck and Fe-Fe’s sales were coming in like clockwork. Every fiend in Selma seemed to be knocking on Fe-Fe’s door, and nobody ever thought anything of it. At most, they thought that Teck was getting high with Fe-Fe, which was why he was there all the time. A few people noticed that Fe-Fe was starting to gain weight and was looking much cleaner, but her being sober was the last thing on anyone’s mind.
One evening, around six o’clock, Teck told Fe-Fe he was down to his last and needed to re-up again.
“You need to chill for a minute,” she said to him. “Jealous niggas might become suspicious.”
Teck looked at Fe-Fe and thought about how good her advice had been up to now. “A’ight.” He reached under her bed, pulled out his money box, and started counting the dough they made that day. He was sitting on a crate in her bedroom when he caught Fe-Fe staring at him.
“What you looking at, girl?” He smiled.
“Nothing,” she said, leaving to go to the bathroom.
As Fe-Fe walked out of the room, Teck noticed a hole in the side of her jeans. Although he’d been enjoying her company, seeing her clothes with holes in them made him feel sorry for her.
She came back in the bedroom and sat on the mattress Indian style. Teck started staring a
t her. Her jet black, wavy hair was wildly hanging loose all over her shoulders. She shook it out, and his dick instantly became hard. She smiled, knowing that he wanted to fuck her, but being a man of his word, he wouldn’t dare touch her until her AIDS results came back.
She smiled at him, the gleam from her front gold tooth reflecting out of her mouth. “What?”
“I ain’t say nothing,” he said.
“Well, why you lookin’ at me like that?”
“’Cause I’m grown.”
“Well, this my crib,” she shot back.
“Oh.” Teck laughed. “This here ain’t our juke joint?”
“Nigga, you crazy!” Fe-Fe fell out laughing.
Teck enjoyed her beauty even more as she smiled. “Come on and take a ride with me,” he said.
“Where we goin’?” She frowned.
“Damn, just come on. You’ll see.”
As they started driving, Fe-Fe asked him again, “Where we going?”
“Goldsboro,” he said, turning onto the highway.
“Who you know in Goldsboro? Going to re-up, huh? I see now that you don’t know how to juice the game slow. To me it’s like sex. Niggas wanna fuck fast and hustle fast, and neither feels good. But if you hustle slow, you get a feel of it . . . just like pussy,” Fe-Fe preached.
I betchu I’m waiting this long to fuck this hard-headed nigga and his dick is fuckin’ short and skinny, she thought to herself.
“Fe-Fe, I ain’t goin’ to re-up. We gonna get something to eat and get you some clothes.”
“Say what!” Fe-Fe was stunned. She turned in the seat to face him. “Don’t be playing no games with me, Teck. Why you trying to make me feel good, knowing damn well you gonna meet a square and ride past me in the street this time next week? Just because I get high—well, used to get high—don’t mean I don’t have any feelings!”
She felt like she wanted to cry. She folded her arms under her breasts, smacked her lips, and settled back in her seat. “I don’t even know why I’m trippin’ wit’ your young ass. You gonna be like the rest. Fuck you.”
Teck glanced over at her as she looked out the tinted window. “If you would think sometimes before you run your mouth, you might make some sense.”
She snapped her neck around. “Boy, please. I’m thirty-one years old. You only twenty-two. I know you don’t like me, so you can kill this buying me clothes shit. All you want me to give you is some head anyway.”
“Let me tell yo’ ass one thing!” Teck said, coming to a screeching halt in the middle of the highway. “I don’t want you to suck my dick!”
Cars were passing by and blowing their horns. Fe-Fe was scared as hell. “Teck, please pull over to the shoulder. We’re in the middle of the highway. Somebody could run into the back of us.”
“Fuck all that!” he screamed. “You remind me so much of my mother that every time I look at you, I think of her. I want you to get clean. If I wanted you to suck my dick, then I would’ve stuck it down your throat the night Wallo and Doughnut were treating you like a ho and running a train on you. I want you to get clean and do what my mother was never able to do!”
“What’s that?” Fe-Fe said, crying tears of joy and fright at the same time.
“Stay alive.”
Fe-Fe was crying so bad that she couldn’t talk. All she could do was hug him. Nobody ever cared this much about her.
Teck eased off the brake and slowly took off down the highway.
When they got to the mall, he handed her a thousand dollars. “Don’t lose your damn mind,” he warned. “The ten-dollar spot got some cute shit. You ain’t been shopping in Rich’s and Belts, so don’t start now.”
Before Fe-Fe could get a hold of herself, she’d planted a kiss on Teck’s lips. He tapped her on the ass as she stepped out of the car.
“Buy some Tiger underwear.”
Fe-Fe stayed in the mall for two hours. When she came back to the car, Teck was sleeping.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” she said. “Look at what I got.”
“Show me when we get home. A nigga’s hungry right now.”
Fe-Fe grabbed Teck’s arm and smiled as they started to pull off.
They stopped off at a local chicken and rib shack for some food.
“So, you gonna be my friend?” Fe-Fe asked as they ate.
“As long as you stay off that stuff.”
She held her head down.
“Keep your head up, Fe-Fe.” Teck took his hand and lifted up her chin. “It’s up to you to stay clean and let the past go. But I’ma do my part and you do yours . . . okay?”
“Yes.” She nodded her head.
When they got back to Fe-Fe’s house, she couldn’t wait to model the clothes for Teck. As she opened the front door, she saw that the mail had come. She took it out of the box, and the first letter she saw was from the county health office. It had to be the results from her AIDS test. She grabbed it and ran into the bathroom, using the excuse of how bad she had to pee, so that Teck wouldn’t suspect anything.
Carefully, she tore the test results open. She wondered if she would be punished for her fucked-up life. She took the letter out of the envelope and read it slowly:
Fendisha Lloyd, the results of your HIV/AIDS test are negative. Because of your high risk lifestyle, please remember to be tested regularly.
“Thank you, Jesus!” she shouted at the top of her lungs.
“Fe-Fe!” Teck banged on the bathroom door. “You okay?”
“I just got my AIDS test results.” She snatched the door open. “Negative, boo! Negative!”
She jumped in his arms, hugging him for dear life, while shoving the paper in his face. Glancing at the results, he said, “You making my dick hard, baby.”
Massaging his hard on, she smiled. “Why don’t we see what we can do about that?”
Teck carried her into the bedroom. He laid her on the bed and then stood up. He cut the radio on, and the D.J. was playing H-Town’s classic, “Knockin’ Da Boots.”
“Damn . . . you look good, Fe-Fe.” He got down on the bed and climbed between her thighs, biting her nickel-sized nipples through her shirt.
“Mm-hmm,” she purred. “Teck, just be my friend. That’s all I’ll ask of you. Please, don’t lie to me or try to play me.”
“So, we a team?” he asked, biting her nipples harder.
“Yes,” she moaned, nodding her head.
He rolled to the side and unsnapped her bra. Her heavy double Ds practically smothered his face, but he was enjoying every minute of it.
They fucked hard and long and called out each other’s names as the sweet smell of sex filled the room. Each time he nutted, she would pull the rubber off and lick him like a kitten. And yes, he made sure she got her nut too.
He fell asleep as he lay behind her in the spoon position. Fe-Fe felt like a queen laying in Teck’s arms, but deep in her heart, she felt it wouldn’t last.
Chapter 4
The move to Atlanta was good for Tammy. Anshon missed her during the two months she’d been gone, but he and Monica were together every day, so he didn’t feel so bad. Tom-Tom was still missing, but word on the street was that he was seen riding through Redwood Village apartments. Anshon knew it was only a matter of time before he would catch up to him.
“Hey, baby,” Anshon greeted Monica, who lay across the floor, studying for her college finals.
“Hey, sugar sweets,” Monica said, rolling on her back. “You just gettin’ here?”
“Yeah. I missed you.” He pushed her schoolbooks to the side and lay on top of her.
“Mmm . . . I know your girl gets the best,” Monica hissed.
“Don’t play me, mami,” Anshon said in his best Latin accent. “You know what I give you is better than what my girl gets.”
Monica mushed Anshon on the side of his head. “Don’t play with me!”
Anshon laughed as he started feeling between her legs.
* * *
Over at Fe-Fe’s, Teck was swe
eping the kitchen floor as Fe-Fe stood at the stove frying some chicken.
“What time tomorrow will the new furniture be here?” she said over her shoulder. Not only was she excited about the new digs for her crib, but she was even more excited about her new life. It wasn’t every day that a crackhead was given a second chance. As far as Fe-Fe was concerned, Teck was that nigga.
“The furtniture’ll be here in the morning, baby,” Teck said, dumping the dust pan into the garbage. “At least by ten.”
The sound of Teck calling her “baby” was the sweetest sound Fe-Fe had heard in a long time.
Leaning up against the counter, Teck pulled out a wad of cash he made that day and started counting it. Afterward, he handed it to her and said, “Put that away. Send half of it to your cousin for your sons, and the other half, I want you to open up a bank account.”
Fe-Fe couldn’t believe her ears. She finished cooking the chicken and fixed Teck a plate of food. After they had dinner, she led him by the hand into her candlelit bedroom.
“Teck,” she said, kissing his pecs slowly, laying with him on the bed and sucking on his nipples, “I swear you the best man I’ve ever had. I never had nobody to care about me.”
He rolled on top of her. “Don’t worry about that no more. Just know that I care about you. Now enough of the sentimental shit. I wanna hear this headboard bang against the wall!”
Fe-Fe fell out laughing, and before Teck knew it, she’d rolled him over and slid between his legs, took his dick into her mouth, and was slowly gettin’ her eagle on. He let his head roll back and in between seeing stars, he could swear that her tongue felt better than a hot and wet prison washrag coated with melted Vaseline.
* * *
“Yo, Shon, what up?” Teck called Anshon on his cell phone, trying to set up a time to re-up. “You got a li’l freak in the secret Bat Cave or what?”
“Naw, I don’t fuck with freaks. But since you tryin’ to find out what my dick’s been up to, I been chillin’ with that li’l shawtie, Monica, from the club. Wassup wit’ you?” Anshon asked.
“Doin’ my ting-ting. Dawg, tryin’ to re-up, na’mean?”
“I feel you, but yo, Teck . . .” Anshon hesitated. “I ain’t tryin’ to be in your business, but you know you can’t get high off your own supply.”
For the Strength of You Page 5
