“Are you crying?” Marny’s quiet voice asks from my side.
I startle, wiping my cheeks to find there are tears running down my face, but I’m not sad in the least. This has made me so incredibly happy it’s leaking out of me. “I didn’t know something like this could make me so happy. Seeing Griffin supporting Wyatt after they raced, it’s just beautiful.”
It’s more than that, but I don’t think I need to tell Marny that it shows how much Griffin has been able to mature and grow this season. Not once has he started a fight on the track. He has maintained a proper level of celebration after every win that was able to give the crowd the fun they wanted without becoming obnoxious. I wasn’t sure they would get past their semi-rivalry I was at the root of this season. Seeing them come together as a team to support each other now is more than I could have ever hoped for. And not just support each other as teammates, but it’s obvious how genuinely happy Griffin is for Wyatt.
I shake my head in amazement. Griffin looks my way, his smile softening. He shrugs and gives me a goofy face that reminds me of when he says, “what the fuck could I do?” I blow him a kiss. He surprises me further when he catches it out of the air and places his fist against his heart. I laugh and wipe under my eyes again before turning to Marny.
“I think we can head to the pit now to catch up with the crew as they bring everything back to load onto the trailers. I’m cool with taking our time as the crowd thins, though.” I warily look at the staircase at the end of the stands and the line of people streaming out around us. There is no fucking way I am putting myself in a position to have the Laguna Seca stairway debacle happen a second time. I still have the now yellowing, black and blue bruises from a week ago.
“I still can’t believe Wyatt won. I’ll have to do the math for all of the points for this circuit to figure out where both of our guys stand. Griffin had enough going into these races to be in contention for hitting one of the top three spots, but Wyatt was a bit of a wild card with his string of fourth place finishes. I’m sure Paul and the guys have already figured it out.” Marny grabs her water bottle off the bench and we file into the line of people still exiting the stands. We make it out of there safely and start our slow walk to the expo and pit area.
As we are walking, the loud exhaust and rumbling engines of the Supra and the 350Z creep up next to us. People are pulling out their phones to take photos of our guys in their beautifully wrapped Mas Boost Energy cars.
“Hey, baby, get in,” I hear Griffin yell out as they pull up next to us. I look at Marny, who gestures for me to go and thumbs back at Wyatt, who waves. I wave at Wyatt and run around the front of the Supra and slide into the passenger seat as Marny heads to the Z.
“Ahh shit, that’s not fair. I want a ride in your car, sexy,” a brunette with huge tits says, leaning into the driver’s side window. Griffin has no choice but to look at her chest, as it’s pushed right into his face when he turns around. He quickly pulls his face back and revs the engine in warning.
I roll my lips with my teeth and try not to let the lioness in me reach across Griffin to grab Skanky’s fake weave and yank her head into the roof of the car. I take a deep breath and let Griffin handle this.
“Only one seat and it will always be for my girl right here. You have a good night, now,” he says, expertly navigating away from Skanky and her gigantic boobs. She jumps back with a disgruntled sound to avoid having her feet crushed. Ahh, too bad. She needed to be maimed in some way. Okay, chill Shelby. He chose you.
“Are you okay?” I ask instead of voicing my petty jealousy and desire to see a perfect stranger hurt for hitting on my guy.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Griffin says, intently scanning the crowd as he slowly makes his way through the rows of trailers and booths. “No, I’m fucking more than good, and it took losing to fucking Wyatt for me to finally see that.”
Confused, I look over at him and am surprised by the huge smile that is showing even above the face mask of his helmet. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t have to win everything to be happy. I am happier right now with a second place finish to my teammate than I have been hitting the top of the podium this season. What the hell, right?” I nod, still not completely following where this is coming from. “I drove like a fucking boss. I was more aggressive and still controlled and I gave it my all. I left it all on the track, nothing was saved for later. And I lost. But by doing that, I pushed Wyatt to perform better than he ever has and that was enough for him to win. So we both win.”
“Okay,” I say slowly. I am starting to understand that this is more than just about the drifting for Griffin. He’s seeing his growth both personally and professionally as well, and he’s happy with it. “You did amazing out there. I couldn’t believe how you held up to the pressure and were so flawless, even when there were obstacles in your path.”
“Shit, me neither,” Griffin says, pulling up to our trailer. He leaves the car running and turns toward me as he pulls his helmet off. “Now, get out of the car so we can get to the podium for that damn presentation. I plan to hose that fucker down with cheap champagne myself.”
I lean over and pull Griffin’s sweaty head toward me, laying a fat, wet kiss on his lips. “I love you.” I don’t wait for the reply I know isn’t coming and release him to get out of the car. He stops me by grabbing my hand and pulls me back for another quick, hot kiss.
“Baby.” He pauses, running his fingers up the sides of my face to cradle my head and gives me a serious look. “I love you back.” His voice is quiet and deep, the sound reverberating through my head and sending an electric current of pins and needles along my limbs as I replay his words a million times in a half second.
I can’t even make a joke saying it’s about time or I knew I could make him love me because this single, simple statement means more to me than I could have imagined it would. Griffin loves me back. I want to shout it out the window so every team in this row and every person on this race track will know that Griffin fucking McGregor loves me back. I just smile stupidly at him and get out of the car where Ryan rushes over to high five me.
“Our guys fucking did it! They won!” he shouts, twirling me around in the dark space between the two trailers. “We’re doing it up right tonight!” He twirls me back around and then heads over to help get the cars loaded onto the trailers.
I follow Griffin and Wyatt to the podium and get lots of photos and video as they are awarded first and second place. Griffin makes good on his promise to unleash a bottle of champagne on Wyatt, and then a couple cans of Mas Boost for good measure. They can’t stop laughing and Wyatt looks like he could float away, he’s so happy.
I find myself studying Griffin from the crowd. To anyone, he looks like himself, with a perma-grin plastered on his face. To me, I see a lightness that has replaced the chip on his shoulder weight he normally carries. The smiles aren’t forced and the happiness is real. He’s not brooding, he’s not bad mouthing anyone, and he’s certainly not making his sponsors angry with bad behavior. He’s a different person. I never imagined I could find him more attractive, but I find myself surprised to see I like this Griffin even more than I did the old one. I guess I can get down with these changes that were freaking me out before.
He better still pull my hair and talk dirty to me when it counts. I don’t want him to be a completely reformed bad boy. I still need that naughty badass who stole my heart from the first heated interaction.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
“Put the fucking phone down and get your ass out here, now.” Griffin’s gravelly command prickles my skin and has me turning to him slowly.
“I’m working for your best interests, asshole. You should be telling me what a good job I’m doing making sure your fans and sponsors are happy. And maybe I want to interact with strangers over the Internet than be told what to do by a caveman like you, anyway.” I manage to keep my voice sultry and almost playful, but the hint of fire at the edges serves to remind him that
I am my own woman and I do not like being told what to do. Engaging with him like this gets me all riled up.
“Those fuckers can wait. I want you out here with me, now.” Griffin grabs my hand and hauls me out of the booth in the bar we hit up after the races. He pulls me against the length of his body and kisses me before I can retort.
I melt into his arms. I didn’t really want to fight with him. I just love it when he takes what he wants. It’s good to be reminded that he’s still in there even if there are stunning new changes. I let him lead me to the dance floor where the Smoke and Mirrors team is gathered, white boy dancing as they do. Paul has Marny turned in his arms, rocking their hips side to side in time to the music. She waves at me before leaning back against Paul with a content smile on her face. I watched Marny put back a few drinks earlier, so judging by her happy face, she’s feeling pretty good. Well, I know I am. I had a couple Mas Boost vodka cocktails myself and feel the buzz of alcohol and excitement fueling me now.
“I requested something special from the DJ. I think you’ll like it,” Griffin says close to my ear, sending goosebumps racing down my arms.
Before I can ask what song, he’s gripping my hips and pulling me against him as Pretty Ricky’s Grind with Me begins. He’s no Channing Tatum, but holy shit, he takes that slow beat and thumping bass as his cue to work me over. I relax my limbs and let him move me along, my hips swiveling with his as I wrap my arms around his neck and look up at his face. The confident, lopsided smile he gives me in return has me grinning like a fool. I can’t take too much of his direct stare, so I close my eyes and surrender to him. He parts my legs and moves me over his thigh, undulating with me so I quickly catch the beginning of pleasure.
“Careful, you didn’t want me coming without you,” I tell him breathily, combing my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. He kisses my forehead softly and I melt further into his arms.
“I like watching your face when you get off. But I can wait. I’ll have you begging for more soon enough.”
I lick a slow path along his neck and feel him swallow. I gently tug his earlobe with my teeth and get rewarded with his hands splaying across my ass and pulling me closer to his body. “I think it’s you who can’t get enough, my love.”
“Hmm, my love, huh? Say it again.” His rich, gravelly voice caresses me in the same way his fingers do.
I look into his blue eyes, so intent on my face and cup his cheek. “My love,” I say slowly and with great reverence. “You know, we can take this back to the hotel anytime you want. We don’t have to stay here if you have other things in mind.” I swivel my hips into his, catching his excited state.
As a new song begins to play, Griffin leads me back to the booth he just dragged me from. I look at him curiously as he slides in next to me. I didn’t expect him to keep me here after that explicit “take me home” option was offered. His entire demeanor has changed, his confident swagger replaced by a tightness that has me evaluating exactly what I just said that would trigger this change. I just repeated what he asked me to.
“Why do you love me?” he asks, his voice a tense rumble, warning of danger. “You could do so much better. Why me?”
Is he trying to push me away? Seriously? Now he is asking why I chose him? At least I have a little experience with figuring out my answer. Instead of waxing poetic, all this is how I love thee, I hunt for a question that can guide my answer. “Do you want me to stroke your ego and tell you why I’m so fucking attracted to you physically? Or are you asking for something else?”
“Something else. I know you like all this.” He gestures to his body in his typical cocky way that makes me wonder how he’s able to fit all of the various segments of his personality into one conversation. It’s giving me whiplash, running a hundred miles an hour keeping up with the cocky badass only to be stopped dead by the brick wall of his sensitive side.
I level a stare at him, opting for direct and forceful to fully get my point across. “You’re the kind of fucker who would walk across red hot coals next to me, rather than carry my ass. You would hold my hair if I was puking but tell me that I brought it on myself. You would want me to follow my dreams, even if it meant we would be separated by that path. Want to know why I think that?” I watch his face as he takes in my words, subtly nodding along in agreement.
“I don’t think I have a choice. You’re going to tell me anyway.” He runs his fingers through his already messy hair and looks toward me with his riveting blue stare.
“Always with a dickhead comment like that,” I say, shaking my head. He’s already reinforcing what I am about to say and he doesn’t even know it. “You make me work harder than I ever have before to get what I want. Whether it’s to prove you wrong or to prove it to myself that I can. I like how you challenge me. I want you in my life because I know you won’t make it easy; you’ll make me appreciate everything more because it was a challenge I worked for. I don’t want easy, I want you. All of you.”
“What if I let you down somehow? Are you just going to leave when shit gets ugly? Because I’ll be the first to tell you I’ve got lots of ugly shit in here.” He gestures to his head and swallows. “What if I’m not everything you think I am?” The hesitance in his voice just about breaks my heart and has me reaching up to cup his face.
“You are everything and so much more. I can’t wait to know you deeper.” I squeeze his hand. “The very real truth is we will both let each other down over and over. That’s life when you are not perfect. We’re going to do lots of things that hurt each other until we figure out how to trust and love selflessly. I’ll take getting my heart broken by you over and over if it means we can come out of it together in the end.” I surprise myself when I say this, finding truth in the statement that was hidden before. “We’re not some fairytale love story; we are real, fucked up people with real feelings and hang-ups. I am choosing you to help me face my issues and hoping you trust me with yours.”
Griffin stares at our entwined fingers, his forehead creased in deep thought. “You really want to make this work? You’re okay with me not being perfect? What if I mess up?”
“I think you know I am far from perfect and have been the one messing this up from the start. God, I really suck.” I shake my head at myself. “Hopefully I’m not pushing you away with all of this.” I look around the bar and wish we were cuddled up in bed together, having this conversation without a shitty pop song blaring from the speakers while people spill drinks as they pass our booth. I think Griffin wanted to talk to me here so he could decide if I was serious about us or just playing a game with him. It would be easier to turn down my advances and get real answers without my clothes coming off. He’s a smart one.
As if reading my thoughts, Griffin says, “You want to get out of here?”
I am already standing and pulling him out of the booth before he can finish the question. “Yes, please. I’m done with everyone else for the night. I’m all about you now.”
We say our goodbyes to the team and walk a few blocks to our hotel. It’s an easy decision to go back to my room—he’s sharing with Ryan. Once we enter, I lose some of my confidence and feel unsure of what comes next as we stand in the dark room, illuminated by the streetlights shining through the window and the bathroom light that peeks through the partially open door. Does he want to get down to business and fuck? What if he doesn’t want to get physical yet, since we are just feeling out this relationship from a serious side?
My racing thoughts are silenced when Griffin steps in front of me and cups my head in his big hands, his fingers threading through my hair, and leans his forehead against mine.
“Not much scares me, but when it comes to you, I’m freaked the fuck out.” The admission is said grudgingly, like I asked what his deepest, darkest secret is without saying a thing. He has more to say and it seems like he needs me to pry it out.
“Why, baby?”
His eyes close and his forehead creases. “I care too much. I know wha
t it feels like to have you leave me. That fucking killed me.”
“I didn’t leave, but I was looking for a way out.” I close my eyes as my heart twinges in regret. God, I was so stupid. “I didn’t realize at the time what that would do to you. I’m selfish and was just thinking about myself.”
“Please don’t leave me,” he whispers against my skin.
“I promise I’m not going anywhere. I love you and I’m in this with you no matter what life throws at us. We’re a team now.”
This moment is all about us. It’s raw and vulnerable and it’s laying ourselves bare to each other. We have both come to an armistice in our competitive war. We are finally laying down our weapons at the same time and agreeing to stop trying to strike first so we don’t end up hurt. We are silently agreeing to terms that are yet undefined, but we know we have to think of our future and how our actions affect it before we act.
“Thank fuck.”
He reaches down and hauls me up his body, my legs wrapping around his hips as he walks to the bed. He lays me back and crawls up over me, his hands skimming my sides and working my tank top up. I raise my arms and let him pull it over my head, quickly returning my hands to his body where I return the favor. He settles his warm weight over me and skims his lips over mine and places kisses across my face.
He’s being so gentle and soft, and for once, I won’t ask him to change a thing. I’ll let him love me in the way he wants to. I’m so over talking about our feelings and what we see for us, or discussing the what-ifs that could go on forever. It’s nice to get away from all of the words and start dealing in action, which we both know speaks louder than any words ever can. And we just happen to be really good at getting physical.
I let him take the rest of my clothes off, for once enjoying his unhurried speed as he stands and removes his own. We spend a moment staring at each other, our eyes traveling over expanses of skin, his golden and colorful, mine fair and barely marked. The amber haze of the streetlight shining through the gauzy curtains lights him in angles, shadows pooling and slipping away as he moves sinuously back toward me. I arch my back and lift my knee to follow his hip as he once again settles on me.
Drift Heat Page 30
