by Ali Parker
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“I’m here to see Candice Smart,” I said. “Is she available?”
***
Kendra disappeared into Candice’s office. At first, she just poked her head inside and whispered something in a calming voice. I couldn’t hear Candice’s reply. Muffled murmurs echoed through the mostly closed door, and then Kendra stepped inside. She shut the door with a snap and the muffled voices were silent.
I crept closer to the door, stopping myself before I could rest my ear against the wood. My desperation to hear what was going on inside wasn’t enough for me to cross over into insanity. Instead, I leaned against a wall and stared at the door, silently willing it to open.
When it did, I jumped away from the wall and hurried forward.
Kendra stepped back into the hall and moved behind her desk. She sat down with a heavy sigh and turned her eyes on me.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Miss Smart is really busy today. She doesn’t have time to meet with unscheduled visitors.”
“She doesn’t—” I shook my head. “Did you tell her it was me? Ryan Winters?”
“Yes.” Kendra glanced at the door. Lowering her voice, she added, “Between you and me, she seemed upset when I mentioned your name.”
I scoffed. “You think?”
Running my fingers through my hair, I turned away from Kendra and tried to stop the knot from twisting inside my stomach.
“Maybe I can schedule something for tomorrow,” Kendra offered, already flipping through a date book on her desk.
“No.” I whipped back around. “That won’t be necessary. If Candice doesn’t want to see me now, she definitely won’t want to tomorrow.”
Kendra’s forehead furrowed. “Are you sure?” she asked. “Because maybe …”
“Look.” I stepped forward. “You don’t know me, which means you don’t know what I did. And I’m happy about that because at least Candice isn’t going around bashing me to everyone she sees. I mean, I wouldn’t blame her if she did. I would deserve it.”
I realized I was rambling, so I stopped and shook my head. Kendra watched me as my eyes turned back to Candice’s door.
She was so close. We hadn’t been this close in almost a week, and yet, the distance between us felt more insurmountable than ever.
I took a step back and turned to the side. From where I stood, I could see the elevator at the end of the hall. I turned my body halfway around and stared at the metal doors blinking at me in the late morning sun.
“Thank you, Kendra.” I sighed and glanced back at her. “I’m sorry to have disrupted your day.”
With a smile we both knew was fake, I waved to Kendra and finally moved down the hall. I was in front of the elevator when soft, hurried footsteps claimed my attention.
My heart leaped into my throat. I was so sure it would be Candice that when I spun around to see Kendra running toward me, my stomach dropped and disappointment spread itself all over my face.
“I’m sorry,” Kendra said quickly. “You thought I was Candice.”
“Yeah,” I laughed darkly. “I guess I did.”
“Sorry,” she said again. “Just me.”
I tried to smile. “That’s okay. What can I do for you, Kendra?”
“You’re Ryan?” she asked nervously. “That’s what you said before? Your name is Ryan?”
“Yes …” I trailed off, confused.
“You should know something,” Kendra said quickly. She stepped closer and lowered her voice. “Candice has a meeting across town today. At the Waldorf Hotel.”
Frowning, I searched Kendra’s face. Nothing about this sudden revelation made sense, but from the look on Kendra’s face, I should have been bouncing with excitement.
“I don’t understand,” I finally said.
“You should go there.” Kendra smiled encouragingly. “Go there and run into her. Act like it was an accident, you know? Then you can talk to her.”
“Kendra, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Why not?” she demanded. “I’ve heard her talking about you. With Leslie, and her mom. She really likes you. So, whatever you did—"
“Is something I can’t come back from,” I said, “especially not by deceiving her.”
Kendra’s mouth fell open, but I turned away before she could argue. With a defeated grimace, I stepped on the elevator and watched as the metal doors blocked Kendra from view.
She meant well, but Kendra had no idea the damage it would do if I lied to Candice again. Showing up at the Waldorf would only put more distance between myself and Candice’s forgiveness.
The elevator doors opened to reveal the ground floor. I hesitated. My chin tilted upward, my eyes focused on the ceiling of the elevator.
Candice was still up there. Maybe sitting behind her desk, tapping her nails on the wood, wondering why I came to see her. Or she was typing on her keyboard, sending some all-important email to her marketing or design teams.
When I closed my eyes, I could see her there.
Dark brown hair falling over her shoulders. Even darker eyes narrowed in concentration. Her cheeks slightly red. Her feet constantly moving beneath her desk.
A smile passed over my face as I let my eyes blink open again. Candice was just above me, and all I wanted to do was run back to her. Beg her to talk to me. To let me in. To forgive me.
But I couldn’t.
Whatever happened between us, there was one thing I knew for sure—Candice deserved so much better than me.
She was the kind of woman who ruled any room she entered, whose presence was so strong that every eye turned to look at her. Her beauty was something she constantly questioned, but I never did. I knew she was gorgeous the first time I saw her.
I stepped off the elevator and crossed the lobby quickly.
Outside, I glanced up one last time and smiled sadly. I missed her so much that my entire body ached, but I had to walk away.
Candice didn’t deserve to be reminded of the pain I caused her. She deserved happiness.
She deserved the entire world.
Chapter 36
Candice
Kendra closed the door behind her. From my desk, I heard her mumbling to Ryan just outside. Soft footsteps told me Kendra had moved behind her desk. Ryan followed quickly, his voice growing louder and more insistent.
I rose from my chair and hurried across the room.
Even right beside the door, I still couldn’t make out Ryan’s words. I leaned closer and strained my ears.
Still, nothing.
With a sigh, I shook myself and darted back behind my desk. Whatever Ryan wanted, it didn’t matter. Not after what he did.
I tried to focus on my computer screen. There was a mountain of emails pouring in, and I’d only answered two this morning. I poised my fingers over the keyboard and took a deep breath. Typing out the first response felt like pulling teeth. My fingers were like lead as they fell heavily against the keys.
No matter how hard I focused, I couldn’t drown out the soft murmurs coming from Kendra’s desk.
I glanced up, seconds away from running into the hall to face Ryan myself, when I heard his heavy footsteps begin to fade.
In seconds, they were gone.
My head fell into my hands, and I rolled it side to side, pressing my fingertips into my forehead and hoping my headache wouldn’t get worse. Sharp pains shot up my neck and slipped beneath my skull. Lack of sleep and emotional crap had kept me from feeling like myself for almost a week.
I lifted my head and squeezed my eyes closed. Ryan wasn’t going to ruin my day. I had work to do, and the man who’d broken my heart wasn’t going to keep me from doing it.
As my eyes opened, they fell on the calendar in the center of my desk.
One date was circled in a bright red pen. Frowning, I blinked and looked closer.
“The banquet,” I said out loud.
Shoving the calendar away, I wondered who circled that date.
It couldn’t have been my mother. She hadn’t been back to my office since our last fight. Kendra wouldn’t dare put something on my calendar without permission, so then …
I groaned and threw myself back against my chair.
My brain moved slower than usual, but it only took a second before I remembered picking up that red pen and drawing a hasty circle around June fourth.
I spent so much time convincing everyone that I didn’t care about the damn banquet, that having a date was of no importance to me. But deep down, I always knew it was a lie. I’d circled that date one week after meeting Ryan. Even though I never said it aloud, I always wanted to take him.
My eyes flicked back to my office door.
Everything was quiet outside. Ryan was gone.
I swiveled around in my chair and peered through the window. The street was too far below for me to recognize anyone on the sidewalk, but I squinted and moved closer. My mind spun in a circle, and before I could stop myself, I was on my feet.
I flew across the room and wrenched open my office door. Kendra was sitting behind her desk, her cheeks flushed and her eyes wide with fear.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Fine,” I snapped. “I’ll be right back.”
Kendra nodded, but I was already gone. I sprinted down the hall and slammed my palm against the elevator button.
Jumping back, I wiggled my fingers and waited for the ding. When it came, the doors inched open so slowly, I was sure I would miss him. I darted inside and pushed the number one button ten times.
When the elevator finally reached the lobby, I barely let the doors open before I slipped through them and ran outside.
My head spun side to side, searching for a familiar face.
“Candice?” Ryan’s voice came from behind me. I closed my eyes at the sound, remembering all the times I’d heard him say my name.
Turning around, I forced myself back in control.
Ryan was standing in front of me. His green eyes alive with hope as they fell on my face. He looked just as good as he always had. My stomach flipped as I took a step closer. Every cell in my body wanted to be touched by him.
“Hi,” I said. “You wanted to talk?”
“Um, yeah.” Ryan cleared his throat. “Yeah. I-I thought you didn’t want to see me?”
“I don’t,” I said firmly. It was only half true, but he didn’t need to know that.
Ryan frowned. “Then, why did you follow me?”
My eyes fell to the concrete. The bright red of my high heels stood out sharply against the ground. I focused on the contrast until I was finally ready to look into Ryan’s eyes one more time.
“I know my mom paid you.” I lifted my chin. Our eyes met. “I know everything between us was a lie.”
“Candice, it wasn’t—”
“But,” I said loudly. “I want to hear your side of it.”
“Okay.” Ryan nodded eagerly and stepped forward. His arms rose at his sides, his hands reaching out for me.
Before he could touch me, I stumbled backward and shook my head. It was too much. As much as I wanted to hear what Ryan had to say, I knew I wasn’t ready to listen.
“Not here,” I said. “Not now.”
“Okay.” Ryan froze. “When?”
“I’ll meet you for dinner,” I said. “Thursday night. Does that work?”
“Of course.” Ryan finally dropped his hands. “Yes, of course. I’ll meet you anywhere.”
“Albertino’s. Six o’clock.”
With a nod, Ryan’s eyes danced with joy. The tiniest of smiles pulled at his lips, but I wasn’t ready to see it.
“If you’re late,” I said sharply, “don’t bother trying to talk to me again. This is your last chance.”
“I’ll be there early,” Ryan promised.
My heart leaped. Our eyes stayed fixed on each other for what felt like an eternity. And when Ryan’s finally landed on my lips, I felt myself slam shut.
“Thursday.” I nodded and hurried back inside.
***
Morning turned smoothly into afternoon and still, I couldn’t get Ryan off my mind. With every email I sent and every meeting I attended, our conversation played on a loop inside my head. A potted plant caught my attention, the bright green leaves reminding me of Ryan’s eyes. A man’s voice sounded eerily like Ryan’s and yanked my focus away from work.
It wasn’t until the day was almost over that I finally fell into a rhythm.
Sitting behind my desk, I fired off a few last-minute emails before pulling the latest issue of Smart Cosmet magazine toward me.
A carefully selected team had been put in place to analyze each issue of the magazine. I trusted all of them, but that didn’t stop me from critiquing each page myself. I was halfway through the issue when a soft knock on my door shook my concentration.
“What is it?” I called out, annoyed by the interruption.
Kendra pushed the door an inch. “There’s someone here to see you.”
“Who?” I demanded.
“A man,” Kendra said without explanation.
My head snapped up. Butterflies beat ruthlessly against my stomach. So sure that it was Ryan, I sat up straight and smoothed out my dress. With a nod to Kendra, I crossed my legs and waited for him to step inside.
Kendra disappeared and was replaced by a man who was certainly not Ryan but was someone I recognized all the same.
“Kason?”
“You remembered.” His icy blue eyes flashed mischievously as he moved toward my desk. “I’m touched.”
“You were pretty memorable,” I admitted.
“I could say the same about you.” Kason grinned. He sat down in the chair usually occupied by my sister. A comfortable air surrounded him, almost as if he’d been here before.
“Can I help you with something?” I chuckled. “I mean, how the hell did you even find me?”
“It wasn’t easy.” Kason laughed. He sat forward, his hand flying to the back of his neck. With his head ducked, he lifted his eyes to peer at me. It was a look I was sure had won him major points with most women, but with me, it wasn’t worth a thing.
“I’m waiting.” I waved my hand for him to continue.
“You told me your name.” He shrugged. “And, I overheard your sister talking about being a Smart of Smart Cosmetics. I put two and two together. And here I am.”
“So, it was pretty easy.”
Kason chuckled. “Yeah, okay. I guess it wasn’t that hard.”
“But why?” I demanded. “Why come all the way down here?”
“To see you.”
Kason’s smile was soft and determinedly shy. A strong confidence rested just beneath the surface, meticulously concealed so I wouldn’t see it. But I did.
“You’re so full of shit.” My laugh turned into a groan. “Look, I’m flattered, okay? But I’m also not interested.”
“And why’s that?” he asked.
“You’re a borderline stalker,” I reminded him. “We met once, and poof, here you are in my office.”
“Stalker is kind of harsh, don’t you think?” He winked. “I prefer persistent.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever,” I said. “Either way, I’m not interested. So, you can go now.”
“Wow.” Kason whistled softly. “You’re a total ice queen.”
It was an insult, but the smile on Kason’s face made it feel like a compliment. I shifted nervously in my chair and searched frantically for a suitable retort.
“Listen,” Kason said before I could find one. “I know it’s weird to just show up, but I wanted to see you.”
“Why?” I asked lamely.
“Because,” he said. “You were the only woman at that club with a halfway decent sense of humor.”
Smiling to myself, I ducked my head. My eyes stayed trained on my desk, but I could feel Kason’s gaze on my face.
“You were witty,” Kason pressed. “And smart. And sexy as hell.”
With a
scoff, I looked up. Kason was smiling at me in that way men sometimes did. That way that said, “I’m going to have you, just give in to the inevitability.”
My typical, bitchy response was ready to fly from my lips. Assholes like Kason had never been worth my time, and I couldn’t imagine that should change now.
But just as I was ready to fire off a few insults, I remembered Ryan.
Ryan, who had lured me in under the pretense of being a nice guy. The man who claimed my heart, only to shatter it to pieces.
Kason was different. Everything about him screamed, “I’m an asshole. Take it or leave it,” and after what I’d been through with Ryan, it was refreshing to know exactly what I was getting.
“Why are you here?” I asked again.
“To ask you out.” Kason smirked. “Why else?”
“Well, what did you have in mind?”
I leaned back and folded my arms across my chest flirtatiously. Kason’s eyes darted to my cleavage. A wicked grin spread from one corner of his mouth to the other. When our eyes met again, a playful glint danced in Kason’s blue irises.
“Dinner,” he said simply. “To start.”
“And to finish?” I asked.
“We’ll see.”
Kason grinned and got to his feet. He reached across my desk and plucked a business card out of my display holder.
“Now.” He tucked the card into his pocket. “I have your number. I’ll call you about the day and time.”
“Wednesday,” I said firmly. “Seven o’clock.”
Kason nodded, impressed that I’d taken charge. “I’ll see you on Wednesday, Miss Smart.”
I watched as he slipped easily through the door. It took a few minutes for my heart to finally slow.
Kason wasn’t my type, not at all. He was the opposite of everything I looked for in a man, the opposite of Ryan. But, then again, that’s exactly why I said yes.
Chapter 37
Ryan
One more night stood between me and my dinner with Candice. Just one more date, a couple hours of mindless conversation, and I’d be free to think about nothing but her.
