by Ali Parker
“And you believed her?” I asked weakly.
“Yes.” Leslie’s voice was firm. “She wasn’t lying, and neither was Ryan. Trust me, I wouldn’t have sent him out there if I thought for even a second that he would hurt you again.”
“You can’t know for sure.”
Leslie hesitated. “True,” she admitted. “But you can.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t think Ryan was lying,” she said. “I believed him. But you know him better than I do. Better than I ever will. So, if anyone would be able to tell, it would be you.”
But that was the problem. I couldn’t know whether Ryan had told me the truth or if he was just lying to save face. I had no idea what his true motives were or why he had even bothered to fly across the country.
“I don’t know what to do,” I whispered.
“You trust yourself, Candice.” Leslie’s voice was soft, comforting. “Even if you can’t trust him or me, you can always trust your own instincts.”
What were my instincts telling me? I had no idea. I wanted to hang onto my anger, to hate Ryan for putting me through so much hell, but was that right? Was this Ryan’s fault? Or was he just a victim too?
“I can’t believe she did this.” I closed my eyes and fought back tears. “To me and to you. Leslie, why? Why would she do this?”
“Don’t ask me,” Leslie hissed. “I’m not speaking to her.”
“Yeah, that won’t last long.”
Leslie laughed with humor. “Are you kidding? How could I possibly forgive her for this? I mean, could you?”
“I don’t know. Right now, I don’t know much of anything.”
And it was true. Everything had spun so far out of control that I could barely see straight. I didn’t know which way was up, let alone how I would feel in the coming weeks. Could I forgive Mom for everything, or was I destined to hate her forever?
Somehow, both options felt possible.
“Don’t worry about Mom right now,” Leslie said. “You have bigger things to focus on.”
“Like what?”
“Like yourself,” she said. “And Ryan.”
“I already told you—” I began, but Leslie cut me off with a click of her tongue.
She huffed into the phone dramatically. “I know, I know, I know. You hate him. He lied to you. You don’t trust him. He’s the scum of the Earth.”
“Leslie—”
“But you also love him.”
All the fight drained from my body. My sister had always known me better than anyone, so arguing would be futile. We both knew she was right. No matter how much I hated Ryan in the moment, I still loved him more than I’d ever loved anyone.
“I can’t.” I closed my eyes. “Leslie, I can’t get hurt again.”
“You don’t know that you will.”
“But what if I do?” I demanded. “What if I go to him, give him another chance, and then he breaks my heart all over again? For the third time?”
“He won’t.”
Her confidence was almost enough to convince me. Almost.
I pressed my free hand against my eyelids and squeezed. My head was pounding from lack of sleep and food. I needed to pull myself together or none of this would matter anyway.
“Les, I should go,” I said. “I need to eat and sleep. I’ve been up all night and I—”
“What are you going to do about Ryan?” she demanded.
“Drop it, okay? I can’t talk about this anymore.”
“And I can’t let you throw away something that could be amazing,” Leslie insisted. “If I did, what kind of sister would I be?”
“A good one.”
“Shut up.”
“When did you get so pushy?” I demanded.
“I learned it from you.”
“You know,” I said. “I thought I hated Ryan, but I don’t. I just hate you.”
Leslie laughed. “Yeah, fuck you too.”
“I don’t know what to do.” I sighed, serious once again. “I just don’t know, Leslie. I wish I did, but I don’t.”
“What do you feel when you’re with him?” she asked.
That was the last question I wanted to answer, if only because I knew she would pounce on it the second I did.
“Before the banquet, I felt safe,” I admitted. “Now, I don’t know what to feel.”
“Did he say it last night?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Was it a lie?”
“How the hell should I know?” I snapped.
“Don’t think about it,” she said quickly. “Just answer the question. Was he lying when he said he loved you?”
“No.”
I could practically hear the smug smile spread across my sister’s face. She hummed into the phone while the truth of my statement washed over me.
“Call him,” Leslie said simply. “Don’t let him leave Seattle.”
“What if he’s already gone?”
“He’s not.”
“How do you know?”
“Because.” Leslie sighed. “You aren’t the kind of woman men give up on, Candice. He’s still there. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was still in the damn hotel.”
Leslie’s words stayed fresh in my mind hours after we hung up the phone. I hadn’t left my hotel room all day, and I had no plans to. The idea of calling Ryan had sent me reeling on and off all day, and I hadn’t even picked up the phone.
When I finally did, the sun had already set outside. What little bit of light there was disappeared as the sun sank beneath the horizon. I watched the darkness grow from the balcony. When it was so black that I couldn’t see Mount Rainier in the distance, I knew I had to do something. Sitting on my thumbs was no longer enough.
Grabbing my phone, I scrolled down my contacts until I found Ryan’s number. I stared at it for what felt like hours until finally, I forced myself to call him.
The phone rang a few times, but I chickened out before he answered. Hanging up quickly, I threw the phone across the balcony. It landed with a thud in the padded cushion of a chair. I stared at it as if it had bitten me.
“This is stupid,” I told myself. “Just call him. What’s the worst that could happen?”
I move across the balcony before I could change my mind. Picking up the phone, I called him again and held the phone to my ear. Each ring made my stomach flip with anxiety. I couldn’t wait to hear his voice, but I was terrified of what might happen once I did.
Pressing the phone against my ear, I waited. And waited.
His voice mail finally clicked on, and my heart sank. The low hum of Ryan’s voice filled my mind, and I knew I had to see him. Talking to him wouldn’t be enough. I needed to look into his eyes and tell him everything I felt.
I hung up the phone and shoved it deep inside my pocket. I was halfway inside when I realized how late it was. The sun had set hours ago. If Ryan was even still in Seattle, he was probably asleep by now.
I hesitated for another second before running inside. I didn’t care if Ryan was asleep. I didn’t care that I had no idea where he was. I had to find him. I had to see him.
Tossing my purse over my shoulder, I grabbed my room key off the coffee table and bolted from the room. In the hallway, I jogged over to the elevator and slammed my palm against the down button. I could hear the electricity humming from the elevator doors, but it wasn’t moving fast enough. I hit the button again.
When the doors slid open, I barely let them part before jumping inside. I made it to the lobby with my blood pumping and my heart racing. I was almost to the door when I realized I had no idea where to go.
Where was Ryan staying? Nearby? Close to the airport so he could make a quick getaway? I had no way of knowing.
Defeated, I slowly moved back across the lobby. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Ryan’s number again. Still, no answer.
I fell back onto a chair and leaned my head against the cushion, my exhaustion finally catching
up to me.
Chapter 69
Ryan
My bag was thrown over my shoulder as I stepped out of the elevator. The doors slid closed behind me, but I didn’t move. My eyes found the front desk, and I told myself to walk toward it. It was time to leave. There was nothing left for me at the Crestmont or in Seattle.
My legs felt like lead as I dragged them across the floor. The toes of my shoes scraped over the tile as I slowly stepped up to the counter.
“Checking out?” the front desk attendant asked.
“Yes.”
“I hope you enjoyed your stay,” she said with a bright, fake smile. “And we hope you’ll consider staying with us again.”
“Sure.”
The Crestmont now held some of the worst memories of my life. There was no way I would ever step foot inside the hotel again, but I smiled anyway and handed over my credit card. The woman ran the card and printed off a receipt for me to sign. I scribbled my name and waited while she printed a copy.
Standing in the lobby felt wrong. Even though I’d made the decision to leave, I still didn’t want to. Candice was upstairs, and every cell in my body was screaming at me to go find her.
“Thank you, sir,” the lady said. “Have a safe trip home.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Tucking my wallet back in my pocket, I moved aside. I crouched down to make sure I had my confirmation number for my flight and everything else I needed. When I was sure I hadn’t left anything behind, I held tightly to my bag and hurried to the door.
I’d barely made it three steps when it opened, and Candice stepped inside.
She saw me and froze. I opened my mouth to speak but closed it quickly. The shock on Candice’s face was enough to make me want to run. She didn’t want to see me. She’d made that perfectly clear when she stormed away from me the other night.
“Ryan.” Her voice was weaker than I expected. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I know you don’t want to see me. I was just checking out.”
“Wait, you were staying here?” she asked blankly.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “It was just easier than trying to find another hotel. But I’m leaving now. Heading back to New York.”
“Oh.”
Candice glanced behind her and then cleared her throat. With a soft smile that lit up her eyes, she took a step toward me.
“Do you have time for lunch?” she asked. “Before your flight?”
“Um—”
I didn’t know what to say. The last time I saw Candice, there was nothing but hatred in her eyes, and now, she seemed happy to see me.
“Are you sure?” I asked lamely. “I mean, I don’t want to upset you any more than I already have. I was just on my way to the airport.”
“Lunch might be nice,” she said with a shrug. “If you want to?”
“Yeah.” I nodded my head. “Yeah. Sure. I mean, why not?”
Candice smiled. “Great.”
We stood awkwardly in the lobby for another second before Candice laughed and stepped aside. Leading the way through the door, I forced myself to calm down. It was just lunch. It didn’t mean Candice was ready to forgive me, and it definitely didn’t mean she wanted me back.
The silence that enveloped us was so thick, I could barely breathe. Every step we took felt forced and torturous.
Candice was so close to me. All I had to do was reach out and touch her. My fingers inched toward hers countless times, but I always pulled them back, reminding myself she didn’t want me.
“Where should we go?” I asked. “I don’t know the city very well.”
“Me neither,” Candice admitted. “I just thought we could walk until we found something.”
“Sure.”
Candice smiled again, and my stomach flipped. Her brown eyes searched my face, and I never wanted her to look away.
We found a small restaurant and slipped inside. It was seat yourself, so we found a table in the middle of the dining area and lowered ourselves onto chairs. The thick silence returned, but we were saved by the arrival of our waitress.
She was friendly and funny, the perfect distraction from our awkward situation.
When she left, Candice cleared her throat and took a long sip from her water glass. I watched her closely, unable to tear my eyes away from her perfect lips. It hadn’t even been a week since I last kissed her, and still, I felt like I might die if I didn’t do it soon.
“So,” I said quickly. “What changed your mind?”
Candice dropped her eyes to the table. She laughed nervously and shifted her weight. Peering at me from beneath her eyelashes, she made my stomach flip again.
“I tried to call you last night,” she said simply.
“Oh.” I blinked and reached instinctively for my phone. “My phone must have been off. I was getting everything ready to leave today.”
“I figured.”
“So, why did you call?”
She looked like she wasn’t quite sure how to answer. Her brown eyes were darker than ever as they roamed freely over my face.
“I talked to Leslie,” she finally said. “And I realized that I may have been unfair to you.”
“Oh.”
I didn’t know what else to say. It was like I had stepped into a dream that I never wanted to wake up from. If, by some miracle, Candice could forgive me, I would live happily in the dream for the rest of my life.
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you tried to explain,” she said. “I owed you at least that much.”
“Candice.” I sat forward. “I didn’t take the money. I don’t know how I can prove that to you, but I—”
“I know.” She smiled and reached for my hand. Her fingers grazed mine, and I inhaled a sharp breath. “I know you didn’t.”
“What finally convinced you?” I asked, trying to keep the bitter tone out of my voice.
“Leslie.”
I smiled and shook my head. Of course, it had been Leslie. Somehow, I always knew she would never give up on trying to bring Candice and me back together.
“I don’t know why she pushed us so hard,” I said. “She hates me.”
“No, she doesn’t.” Candice laughed. “Leslie is hard to please, but she sees how much you mean to me. She could never hate you.”
“Candice,” I began softly. “I love you. I meant it when I said it before, and I mean it now. Your mother, the Romeos, they all mean nothing when it comes to you.”
Candice looked down at her hands. Her brown eyes filled with emotion, and it took a second before she could look at me. When she did, I felt my heart swell to ten times its size. That one look told me everything I needed to know.
“I love you too.”
“Then, we’re okay?” I asked hopefully. “I mean, I know things won’t be perfect right away, but we’re okay?”
“Yes.” She nodded and moved her chair closer to mine. “I missed you.”
“You have no idea.”
Staring into her eyes, I couldn’t wait another second. I grabbed her face and pulled her lips to mine, kissing her with as must passion and intensity as I could muster. I poured my every emotion into that kiss and didn’t pull away until a sharp cough claimed my attention.
The waitress giggled as Candice and I sprang apart.
“You two,” she said. “So cute.”
Candice giggled nervously. I just shook my head and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her body against mine. Now that I had her back, I was never going to let her go.
“Do you think it’s over?” I asked as we ate lunch. “All the drama and bullshit?”
“God, I hope so.” Candice’s face fell. “I don’t want to talk about my mom right now. I’ll deal with her when I get back to the city.”
“When will that be?” I asked.
Candice looked up. At that moment, we were both thinking the same thing—I don’t want to go home.
Being in Seattle felt like a fantasy
. I never imagined Candice would change her mind, but she did, and now, I had to get on a plane and leave her behind. It was the last thing I wanted to do.
“I wish I hadn’t booked that flight.” I laughed. “I’d stay with you if I could.”
“Then do it.”
She grinned wickedly and kissed me. Her tongue tasted mine, and I felt a familiar desire stir deep inside me.
“I can’t. I already checked out of the hotel and—” I began.
“You can.” She pulled away quickly. “Just stay. I’ll pay for your flight, so you won’t be out the money. You can stay in my room, and we’ll just enjoy the city for a few more days.”
The offer was too good to pass up. Max had Paisley anyway, so how could I turn down the chance to spend more time alone with Candice?
“Okay.” I grinned and pulled her back against me. “I’ll stay.”
“That was easy.” She laughed.
“For you?” I kissed her hair. “I’ll do anything.”
We finished our lunch and walked back to the hotel. Candice’s fingers stayed interlaced with mine the whole way, only letting me go when we reached her room and she had to slide the key card into the lock.
The door clicked open, and we pushed our way inside. My mouth fell open as I took in the size of her suite.
“Holy shit.” I walked further inside. “This place is freaking huge.”
“Yeah,” she said, embarrassed. “I just wanted to splurge a little. I was pretty upset when I got here.”
“Hey, I’m not judging.”
“No?” she asked playfully.
“Never.”
I tossed my bag to the side and grabbed Candice around the waist. She laughed as I spun her around and lifted her easily into my arms. Our kiss was softer than it had been before, slower and full of emotion.
We’d only been apart for a few days, but it was too much to bear. We were meant to be together, to hold each other, to kiss each other, to feel each other’s bodies as we tangled ourselves around one another.
Candice was everything to me, and I couldn’t imagine that ever changing.
Kissing her in the middle of her hotel suite, I told myself I would do whatever it took to be with her. Neither Beatrice nor Deborah Smart was going to come between us again.
