by Ali Parker
“Leaving?” I asked blankly.
“New York.” She sighed and turned to me. “The city. Have you ever thought about moving somewhere different? Somewhere new?”
My own eyes narrowed to match hers. Turning back to the window, I tried to think of an honest answer.
When I was young, I always dreamed of traveling all over the world. I imagined spending months at a time in exotic countries. I wanted to try the food and marvel at the culture. It had always sounded amazing, but after Paisley was born, that dream disappeared.
“I never had a chance to think about it,” I said. “Not really.”
“Why not?” Candice asked.
“Well, Paisley was born, and my life became about that. About her.”
Candice nodded and turned away from me. “I get that,” she said. “You’re such a great dad.”
“I try to be,” I said. “But it wasn’t even that. Not really. It’s just that I had to be near Max, you know? So I would have help when I needed it.”
“So, Paisley’s mom?” Candice asked gently. “She still hasn’t tried to contact you or see Paisley? Nothing?”
I shook my head and glowered out the window. Talking about Paisley’s mother was always enough to piss me off.
“No,” I said. “Not since she left almost three years ago. But whatever. We’re better off, right?”
“Yeah.” Candice smiled sadly. “Yeah, exactly.”
Silence fell over us as we continued to gaze through the window. The view never disappointed, and we only turned away when it was time to eat.
Candice had made us a reservation at the restaurant, so we settled down at our table and let our thoughts run wild. We talked about what it would be like to leave New York, to put everything behind us and run away together.
“We would bring Paisley, of course,” Candice promised. “We couldn’t survive without her.”
“No,” I said firmly. “Of course not. Who would remind us which snakes were poisonous or which princesses had the best dresses?”
“We’d be lost without her.”
I laughed and stuck a forkful of salmon into my mouth. Talking about Paisley made me miss her so much, but I knew she was in good hands. I’d see her again in a few days, and until then, Max would keep her safe.
“Dessert?” Candice asked after she ate the last bite of her entrée. I nodded, and we looked over the menu together. “Something chocolate. And decadent. This is a celebration, after all.”
“Is it?” I asked, confused.
“Duh.” Candice rolled her eyes. “Come on, Winters. We’re finally free from my mother’s grasp. What else could it be?”
“Are you feeling better about things then?” I asked, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Now that you’ve had time to relax a little?”
“I’m still mad at her,” Candice said slowly. “But I know you were right. Hating her forever isn’t an option, and as much as I would love to run away from New York for good, I know we can’t really do that.”
Candice’s eyes filled with so much regret that I almost told her I’d changed my mind. That I wanted to book a flight for Paisley right then, fly her out to join us and never return.
But as soon as it came, Candice’s regret vanished. Her eyes cleared, and she smiled that beautiful smile of hers. We ordered dessert and took our time savoring every bite. Our hands never left each other’s body, not for a single second. Hers found my knee, mine found her back and then her hand. I cupped her cheek, and she kissed mine.
We stared at each other so intensely that the rest of the restaurant just disappeared. For a while, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. Leaning in to kiss her, I closed my eyes and tried to memorize the way I felt. I wanted to claim every detail of the night and commit it to memory so I would never forget what it felt like to be truly in love.
“I love you,” I whispered against her lips.
She smiled and sighed, kissing me again and again until our waiter appeared by our side. Laughing shakily, we pulled apart and shot the waiter an embarrassed apology.
“Oh, please.” He waved his hand through the air. “If I had a dollar for every time a couple got frisky at one of my tables, I’d be a very rich man.”
With that, he handed over our bill and skipped away. Candice and I looked at each other and burst into uncontrollable laughter. We couldn’t quiet ourselves down until after we’d paid for dinner and stood up from the table.
Taking Candice’s hand, I led the way out of the restaurant. We stepped up to the elevator and waited to ride it back down to street level, but once it arrived, neither of us were ready to get on.
“Wait.” Candice tugged my arm. She pulled me back over to the window where we’d first stood. Placing her fingers against the glass, she peered outside.
“We can stay for a minute.” I stepped up behind her and wrapped my arms protectively around her waist. Leaning back against my chest, a deep sigh escaped her chest.
She laughed. “Can we stay even longer than that?”
Lifting her hand, she tangled her fingers through my hair and held my face against hers. Our cheeks pressed together. I closed my eyes and held her closer.
“Wherever you are, Smart,” I said. “That’s where I want to be.”
“And Paisley?” she asked.
“She’s young.” I shrugged. “Moving would be great for her. She’d love the adventure.”
“You think?”
“I do.”
It was just a dream. Just the silly talk of two people madly in love. None of it meant anything because we didn’t let it, but even then, staring out over the city of Seattle, I knew every word to be true.
Wherever we lived, wherever we moved, whatever adventures we decided to take, our lives would be perfect now that we were together.
Chapter 72
Candice
Ryan’s arms wound protectively around my waist. He leaned his cheek against mine and whispered sweet nothings in my ear. It was more than an hour before we could pull ourselves away from the incredible view. Being at the top of the Space Needle made everything back home seem somehow less important.
We talked about leaving New York City for good, about moving Paisley across the country and starting over new. It sounded more than perfect. It was all I could think about.
“We should get going.” Ryan kissed my temple. “It’s getting late.”
“Yeah.”
I nodded and turned around to face him. With a deep sigh, I interlaced my fingers with Ryan’s and pulled him gently toward the elevator.
We rode it down to the bottom, neither of us saying a word the whole way. My mind was too busy with thoughts about our future, and while I didn’t know what Ryan was thinking about, I suspected it was something similar.
Neither of us wanted to leave the comfort and security of this grand adventure. As crazy as it seemed to run away to Seattle, it worked for us. Our relationship had never been more solid. We’d never been happier.
As we walked slowly down the sidewalk, I blinked up at the buildings that we passed. Downtown Seattle was nothing like New York City, yet it felt like home. With Ryan’s hand in mine, I couldn’t think of a better place to be.
“How about a second dessert?” Ryan asked playfully.
He wiggled his eyebrows and nodded toward a bakery across the street. My hand flew to my stomach as my old insecurities washed over me. I could already hear my mother’s voice in my head, chastising me for eating a second helping of sweets.
“Come on,” Ryan said. “You know you want to.”
His green eyes sparkled mischievously in the city lights. Unable to resist him or the cupcake sitting in the bakery’s window, I slapped my hand against his chest and pushed him forward.
Laughing, we hurried across the street, dodging cars as we ran. Ryan pulled opened the bakery door and stood aside to let me pass. We stepped up to the counter, and I raked my eyes over the impressive display of sweets before me.
There were cupcakes the size of actual cakes, miniature ones that I could have popped into my mouth whole, and normal cupcakes decorated with sugar flowers and intricate lace fondants. I gawked at the case, saliva filling my mouth as I tried to think of which one to try first.
Ryan ordered an assortment of the mini cupcakes and carried them to the nearest table. We made our way slowly through each flavor, splitting the cupcakes in half so we could both try them all.
“Enough!” I laughed after the fifth one. “No more. I’ll explode.”
“Where’s your competitive side, Smart?” Ryan demanded. “The woman I know would never turn down a challenge so easily.”
“The woman you know hasn’t eaten this much sweets since she was a teenager.” I grumbled and leaned back in my chair. “I’m stuffed.”
“Fine, fine, fine.” Ryan sighed. “We’ll save them for later.”
With a wink, he closed the box and sat forward. His fingers slid across the table in search of mine. I grasped his hands tightly, holding onto him with everything I had. The longer we spent in Seattle, the more I dreaded the return home.
“When do you have to leave?” I asked softly.
Ryan’s face fell. “Saturday,” he said. “I have a few things to take care of, so I can’t stay any longer than that.”
I nodded and dropped my eyes to the table. Our hands were glued together as Ryan’s eyes bored into me. I knew he was waiting for me to lift my eyes back to his face, but I couldn’t.
Ryan’s job had never been an issue for me. Not really. Sure, it had come between us multiple times, but I never cared so much about him going on dates with other women. My mother was mostly to blame for our problems. Or so I’d thought.
The idea of getting back to New York and saying goodbye to Ryan each night as he hurried off to meet some girl made my stomach twist itself into a horrendously painful knot. Just thinking about it felt like a torture I couldn’t escape from.
“Hey.” Ryan’s voice was barely above a whisper. He pulled his hands away from mine and moved his chair around the table. Touching my cheek with his fingertips, he pulled my attention to him.
My eyes met his brilliant green irises, and I was transfixed. I couldn’t have looked away if I wanted to.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing.” I smiled sadly. “Just don’t want this trip to end.”
“Well, it doesn’t have to.” He shrugged. “We have a couple more days, and then when I leave, you can stay behind for a while.”
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I have work waiting for me. Saturday is a good day to leave.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, worry lines creasing his forehead. “I bet they can handle things without you. You work insanely hard, Candice. You need a break.”
“And I’ve had one.” I smiled. “Saturday is good. We’ll stay until then.”
Ryan smiled, but I could tell he was still worried about me. My own smile felt tight on my lips. I kept it in place until Ryan led the way out of the bakery. The box of cupcakes was tucked under his arm as he pushed the door open and stepped outside. I fell back a step, just long enough to take in the sight of him walking away.
I loved him. He was mine, and I was his. How could I ever be okay with him dating other women—even just clients?
***
Back at the hotel, Ryan ordered a bottle of wine. It arrived quickly, and Ryan poured us each a glass as we snuggled together on the balcony.
My mind was still spinning as I sipped the red wine, savoring the bitterness on my tongue. I closed my eyes and leaned into Ryan. His arms tightened around me. My eyes stayed closed as I reveled in the feel of his chest rising and falling with each breath.
“This is the perfect night,” I whispered. “Have you ever had a moment like that? Where you just know everything is exactly as it should be?”
“Pretty much every moment I’ve ever spent with you.”
I laughed and opened my eyes to look at him. “Be serious,” I said.
“I am.”
“Come on. Every moment?” I scoffed. “Even when I was yelling at you after the banquet? Or, when I stormed away from the table your first night here?”
“Yup. Even those.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Why wouldn’t those moments be perfect?” he asked. “They led us here, right?”
I rolled my eyes before looking back out at the city. Ryan smoothed down my hair and took another sip from his glass.
“You’re cheesy as hell tonight,” I teased.
“It goes good with the wine.”
We laughed and settled against each other. Being close to him made my body come alive with desire, but I pushed it away. Tonight wasn’t about that. Not now.
With Ryan’s arms around me and the wine coursing through my veins, I felt like our relationship was invincible. We’d survived my mother’s interference and countless other things in such a short time. I felt like nothing could stop us.
Nothing except Beatrice Cantone and her Romeos.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Picturing Ryan working as a Romeo was something I’d never done before. For whatever reason, I never let myself think about it too hard, but now …
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ryan asked.
“What?” I blinked and whipped around to face him.
“You’re like a million miles away right now,” he said. “What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing.”
Ryan didn’t believe me. He stared at me until I couldn’t ignore him any longer. Sighing, I sat up and turned all the way around to face him. When I opened my mouth, though, the words got stuck on my tongue.
How could I tell him I wanted him to quit his job?
“It’s what I said before.” I looked down. “I don’t want to leave Seattle. I love it here. And right now, I can’t think of a single reason to go back to New York.”
“Paisley,” Ryan said simply.
“I thought we already agreed she’d just move here with us,” I teased.
“Leslie?”
My heart sank. He was right. I couldn’t leave my sister behind, not when our mother had started to butt her nose into Leslie’s life as well.
“Fine.” I sighed and finished the rest of my wine in a single gulp. “You win. New York, it is.”
“I didn’t say that.” Ryan laughed. “I just said there were reasons to go back.”
“Well, what do you want?” I asked.
“You.”
My stomach flipped. Ryan stared into my eyes, unblinking. He was so confident in his feelings for me that I almost felt ridiculous for worrying about his job.
“How can you be so sure of that?” I asked, my voice weak. “After everything that’s happened, don’t you have any worries? Any fears?”
I prayed he would say yes because then, I wouldn’t feel so guilty about my own fears. My own worries.
“I’m scared of plenty,” Ryan said. “But us? There’s nothing to be scared of anymore. It’s like we’ve come out of the fire, you know? I think everything’s going to be perfect from now on.”
“I wish I shared your confidence,” I whispered.
Ryan frowned and lifted my chin, so our eyes met. “What are you afraid of?”
That was my moment. He asked the question, and all I had to do was answer it, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I shook my head and smiled brightly. Placing a kissing on his lips, I blinked up into his green eyes and tried to forget about the world.
“Saturday is still two days away,” I said. “We have plenty of time to get sick of this city, right? By the time we leave, we’ll hate everything about Seattle.”
“Sure.” Ryan chuckled. “Absolutely.”
I leaned back against him and closed my eyes again. Ryan held me for a few minutes before sitting up to pour us each more wine. We finished two bottles that night, just lying in each other’s arms and
staring out at the city I couldn’t hate if I tried.
We didn’t talk any more about moving, and I didn’t mention my fears about Ryan’s job, but the thoughts never left my mind. I drove myself crazy thinking about the possibility of him meeting another woman and leaving me for her. After all, hadn’t I started out as just a client?
I knew what Ryan would say if I told him everything that was going through my mind.
I love you.
You’re the only woman for me.
Nothing could ever change how I feel about you.
I’ll quit if you want me to.
And god, did I want him to. I opened my mouth a thousand times that night, ready to ask him to do just that. But each time I tried to speak, my tongue froze against the roof of my mouth. My courage had disappeared, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to find it.
Instead, I settled back against the man I loved more than anything and let a blissful stupor overwhelm me. For the rest of the night, I didn’t care what the future held. New York City was a different world, a different life, and it couldn’t touch me here.
Chapter 73
Ryan
Candice drifted off to sleep on the balcony. Her body was so close to mine, I didn’t want to move an inch, but I scooped her into my arms and carried her quickly to the bedroom. Laying her back against the pillows, I crawled into bed beside her and fell asleep.
Bright sunlight assaulted my eyes a few hours later. Candice and I had spent so long on the balcony that neither of us got a long night’s sleep, but it didn’t matter. The beauty outside our window was enough to rouse us both.
“It’s even better in the sunlight,” Candice said softly, her head resting on my shoulder and her hand placed gently over my chest. “I don’t think I’ve seen the sun this bright since I left New York.”
“Strike one for Seattle,” I said. “The sun never shines.”
Candice laughed. “That’s not really a strike. I love the rain.”
We’d been dancing around the subject of moving for more than a day now, and still, I didn’t know if Candice was serious. The only thing I knew for sure was that she would never leave Smart Cosmetics.
