by Ali Parker
“Nothing.” Candice kissed my cheek and placed the last bowl in the dishwasher. “Let’s watch a movie. What do you think, Paisley?”
“I’ll go pick one!” Paisley grinned and sprinted off into the living room.
Candice followed close behind, but I fell back to watch my two favorite girls as they snuggled together on the couch.
In such a short time, Candice had taken Paisley in as her own. She had made sure my daughter felt loved and included in our new relationship, and that, more than anything, was why I loved her.
But despite how much I loved her, it didn’t seem to be enough. Ever since we left Seattle, something had been weighing on Candice’s mind. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew she wouldn’t tell me as long as Paisley was awake. Pushing my worries to the back of my mind, I joined them on the couch and wrapped my arm around them both.
Paisley laid her head against my chest while I played with Candice’s hair. Every few minutes, Candice glanced at Paisley, and a small smile would spread across her face. When she turned her eyes on me, that smile would falter for just long enough to show that whatever was wrong was serious.
An hour into the movie, Paisley fell asleep. Her little head tilted down and landed heavily on my stomach. I laughed and brushed her hair off her face before scooping her into my arms and carrying her quickly upstairs.
I pulled the covers over her chest and kissed her forehead. Lingering in her doorway, I peered at her through the darkness and whispered a soft “good night” before heading back downstairs.
Candice wasn’t in the living room when I stepped off the last stair. I frowned and followed the sound of movement into the kitchen.
There she was, standing with her back to me while her hands busied themselves with a drink.
I watched her for a few seconds, not wanting to disturb her peace. She dropped a couple ice cubes into her glass then turned around, her eyes darkening as they fell on my face.
My stomach plummeted as I prepared myself for the worst.
“What’s going on?” I asked, quickly moving across the room to take her into my arms. “And don’t say nothing, because we both know that’s crap.”
Candice sighed and melted against me. Her head hit my chest, and for a second, I was relieved. If she was willing to let me hold her, she couldn’t be that upset. At least, not with me.
Pulling back just enough to look at me, Candice took a deep breath. She let it out slowly and then took a sip of her drink. I watched her like a hawk until she was ready to talk.
“There’s something I need to ask you,” she finally said. “Can we go outside to talk?”
Chapter 78
Candice
Ryan’s front stoop had become our spot. Once again, we found ourselves sitting side by side with our backs to Ryan’s front door. And once again, my mind was spinning with a dilemma I could not solve.
“You can ask me anything,” Ryan had said. His fingers brushed over my neck to comfort me, but it did the opposite. My body went rigid as he said again, “Anything.”
Just ask him, I told myself. You’ll never be able to let this go until you do.
I lifted my face and turned my head. Ryan blinked at me, those brilliant green eyes searching my face. One hand lay gently on my shoulder, and the other was clenched into a fist at his side. He was scared, and I hated myself for being the reason.
“What is it?” he asked for the tenth time that minute.
“I was just wondering.” I cleared my throat. “What happened between you and Paisley’s mom?”
Ryan dropped his hand from my shoulder. His body, like mine, went rigid as he processed my question. It hadn’t been the one on my mind, but it was still serious enough to make Ryan uncomfortable.
“I told you,” he said evasively. “She left us. And I haven’t heard from her since.”
“I know,” I said. “But I want to know the whole story.”
“Why?”
Because I’m afraid to ask the question I really want an answer to, I thought. Shaking my head, I cleared my throat again and squared my shoulders.
“Because,” I pressed, “if we’re going to do this and really be together, shouldn’t I know about your past?”
Ryan hesitated. Even I was surprised by how rational my reasoning was. Paisley’s mom had been the last thing on my mind, yet if I was being honest with myself, I had to admit I was curious.
“We were young,” Ryan finally said. “I was about twenty-four when Paisley was born. It’s hard to imagine that she’ll be five next month because honestly, I still feel like that twenty-four-year-old kid sometimes.”
“But you aren’t.”
“No.” He sighed. “I’m not, and a lot of that is because she left.”
“Did she ever tell you why?” I asked.
Ryan stared off into the distance. His forehead creased as if he were reliving the most painful moment of his life.
“She told me she was afraid of being stuck in one place for the rest of her life.”
Romeo Rebound was a tiny pinprick in the back of my mind. Listening to Ryan talk about that heartbreak broke my own heart. I couldn’t think of anything but making him feel better.
I touched his back gently. He jumped, surprised that I was still there. Looking around at me, he smiled sadly and shook his head. My heart ached for the pain he was in just remembering that day three years ago.
“She said Paisley and I were never part of her plan,” he said. “That being with me was like drowning over and over again every single day. And when Paisley came along—She said she tried to be a mom, but she just couldn’t.”
“Do you believe she really tried?” I asked.
He nodded. “She did,” he said. “When she was good, Paisley was her world. For two years, I watched her struggle with herself, and finally, I guess it just became too much.”
“And she left.”
“Yes.”
I exhaled a long, slow breath and followed Ryan’s gaze. Staring into the night, I tried to imagine what it would be like to walk away from Paisley. And I couldn’t.
“That’s horrible,” I said. “Really fucking terrible.”
“It was,” Ryan admitted. “But it wasn’t just because she left. It was everything that happened after. I couldn’t afford to feed Paisley by myself. My job wasn’t enough. Putting her in daycare was impossible because, well, how could I afford it?”
“But you had Max, right?”
“Yes and no.” Ryan paused. “Max and I haven’t always been close. In fact, somedays we still aren’t.”
“You seem pretty close to me.”
Ryan laughed. “I guess,” he said. “We’re getting better, but back then, we barely knew each other. And when I took the Romeo job, he was livid.”
“Why did you take it?”
Shit. There it was. The subject I’d tried so hard to avoid. Somehow, we’d worked our way back around to the one thing I was terrified to discuss.
“Kason pulled me into it,” Ryan said. “We’d known each other since college, and one night, he took me out for a drink to take my mind off all the shit I was going through. After I was sufficiently drunk, he brought up the Romeos.”
“Sounds like a bad first date or something.”
Ryan snorted. “It kind of was, but it also saved my life. It was the perfect job because I could spend most of my days with Paisley and then go out with clients at night.”
“And Max disapproved?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah, he hated it. Still does, I think.”
I nodded and looked away. My tongue was itching with the real question I was dying to ask. Ryan stared off into the distance again, and I knew he was back in that bar three years ago, agreeing to take the Romeo job.
“What would you do?” I asked, my eyes locked on his face. “If you could do anything?”
He slowly turned his head to face me. “What do you mean?”
“As a career,” I said. “If you had your pick of jobs. Any
thing in the world. What would it be?”
One corner of Ryan’s mouth twitched upward. He shook his head like the question was ridiculous, but I didn’t flinch. If I couldn’t ask him to quit, then this was the closest I could get.
“I don’t know,” he finally said. “I’ve never thought about it.”
“Well, think about it.”
Ryan grinned. “Bossy.”
“Are you surprised?”
“No.”
He sighed and put his hands against the stoop behind him. Leaning back, he tilted his chin up to the sky. I watched him as he tried to think of an answer, but none came. Eventually, he gave up and grimaced.
“Nothing comes to mind,” he said. “Honestly, I would do any job if it meant I could provide for Paisley.”
I smiled and leaned into him. The best thing about Ryan was his innate ability to be a good dad. Paisley was always his first and last priority, no matter what. I loved him for it, but that didn’t stop me from feeling disappointed that I hadn’t gotten a real answer.
With Ryan’s arms around me, I tried again to work up the courage.
Would you quit? I wanted to ask. If I asked you to, would you walk away from the Romeos? For good?
But my lips stayed pressed together, and my shoulders stayed tight. Ryan ran his hands over my arms, making me shiver and pressed myself back against him. His lips found my earlobe, kissing me gently and blowing his hot breath against me.
“That’s not fair,” I whispered. “You know I have to work in the morning. No funny business tonight.”
“Maybe just a little?” he begged.
I whipped around with a fake glare. He tried to hold back laughter, but within seconds, he was doubled over and laughing. I swatted him away from me and jumped to my feet, breezing back through the front door and marching up the stairs.
Ryan followed me quickly. He shut his bedroom door softly behind us and rounded on me, his hands already reaching for me.
I pushed them away and shook my head. “Behave yourself, Winters.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He put on a serious face and clasped his hands together behind his back. With a firm nod, he walked sideways toward the bathroom, keeping his hands behind him the whole way. I tried not to laugh, but it was impossible. I loved everything about this man.
Later that night, after we’d changed into pajamas and climbed between the sheets, my thoughts once again returned to Ryan’s job.
He held me against his chest, and while his breathing was even, I knew he was far from asleep. The way his heartbeat kept changing speed told me I wasn’t the only one lying awake with my mind spinning in relentless circles. It was a while before either of us spoke.
Ryan’s arms felt too good for me to break the silence. My head rested against his chest as it had done countless times before, and I hated myself for doubting him, for thinking about the possibility of losing him to another woman, to another client.
My eyes closed, and I immediately pictured his arms around a strange woman, just as they were around me now. My heart cracked open inside my chest, and my emotions burst free from my eyes.
I pressed my fingertips to my eyelids and fought back the tears that threatened to reveal my secrets.
It wasn’t enough. Ryan knew something was wrong.
“Candice,” he said softly. “Are you okay with my job? With what I do?”
With my eyes still closed, I put my hand on his chest and pushed myself up. My hair fell in a dark sheet over my shoulder, brushing against Ryan’s cheek as I fixed my eyes on his. He blinked up at me, his forehead creased and eyes narrowed.
“It’s okay,” he said. “You can tell me the truth.”
I sighed and sat all the way up. Tucking my legs under me, I pinched the sheet between my fingers and stared at it.
“Candice,” Ryan said.
“Fine.” I groaned. “I don’t like that you’re a Romeo. There, I said it.”
“Do you want me to quit?”
My eyes snapped to his face. I expected to see derision or resentment staring back at me, but there was nothing there. Just a blank, open expression. He was ready for whatever answer I gave.
“I want you to do whatever you think is best,” I said.
“That’s not a real answer.”
“Ryan.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I support you. I always will. If being a Romeo makes you happy, if it makes you feel fulfilled and full of purpose, then I could never ask you to quit.”
“Why not?”
“Because I wouldn’t,” I said simply. “Smart Cosmetics is my life, and it always has been. If you asked me to quit, I would say no.”
“That’s different,” Ryan said. “You aren’t dating other men every night.”
I flinched and looked away. Ryan brushed his fingers over my cheekbone and waited until I was ready to continue.
“I support you,” I said again. “And I’m not asking you to quit, but if we’re being honest, I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of losing you to a client.”
Ryan exhaled sharply and sat up so fast, I jerked backward with shock. He registered the alarm on my face and slowed down. Taking my face in his hands, he kissed me so deeply that my head spun.
“What was that for?” I asked breathlessly.
“I love you,” he said. “And no one is going to change that.”
“Thank you.”
My forehead fell against his. He held me for a second before laying us both back against the pillows. My head found its rightful place on his chest, and his arm returned to my body.
“Ryan?” I asked.
“Yeah?”
“You know I meant it, right? When I said I would support whatever you decide?”
“I know, Smart.” He kissed my head. “I know you will.”
And that was it. The end of the conversation. Ryan didn’t say another word until sleep claimed him.
I listened as his heartbeat became steady and his breathing fell into a slow rhythm. I wanted to wake him. Demand to know what he planned to do. Was he quitting? Was he staying? I had no idea.
My sleep was restless that night, but I held onto the words Ryan had spoken.
“I love you.”
He loved me, and whatever decision he made, I had to trust that it would be the right one.
Chapter 79
Ryan
Candice’s lips barely brushed across mine as she darted out the door. She was eager to get back to work. For me, my day held something different entirely. I wasn’t going to the Romeo offices. I didn’t have a meeting set with B. No, instead, I was spending the day as my big brother’s shadow.
“I’ll see you tonight,” Candice called as she pulled the door closed behind her.
I waved and turned back to my coffee. Taking a long sip, I savored the warmth that spread through my mouth and down my throat. When it reached my chest, I felt somewhat ready for the day to begin.
Paisley bounced down the stairs a few minutes later. Her wild hair was in tangles all over her head. I waved her over to the table and quickly made breakfast. Plopping a plate full of bacon, eggs, and toast in front of her, I told her to eat while I brushed out her messy hair.
“Are we going somewhere today?” she asked.
“You have camp, remember?”
“Oh, yeah.” Paisley’s voice was bored. She yawned, waving her hand near her mouth without covering it.
“Are you still tired?” I asked.
“No.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Then, what’s wrong?”
Paisley didn’t answer right away. She bit off a tiny corner of toast while I worked out a particularly nasty tangle. Her head popped a little as I ran the brush through it a few more times. When I was done, I moved to sit beside her.
“I just don’t want to go to camp,” she said. “It’s boring, and all we do is crafts and things. We don’t even swim! It’s summer. We’re
supposed to swim.”
“That’s on Fridays,” I reminded her.
“But I want to swim today.”
She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest and huffing loudly. My single-parent guilt reared up as I tried to think of a way to make her happy.
Going to Max’s office wasn’t something I had to do. If I didn’t go, then I could spend the whole day with Paisley. I could even take her swimming.
I opened my mouth, ready to tell her I’d stay with her today, when I remembered the look on Candice’s face last night.
She was staring down at me in bed, her eyebrows knit together and her eyes blurry with repressed tears. Even though she didn’t say it, I knew she wanted me to quit the Romeos. I also believed she would support me even if I didn’t, but what could I do? Ignore her fears? Pretend like they didn’t exist?
“I’ll tell you what,” I said. “You and me, we’ll go swimming tonight, okay? After camp.”
“Really?”
“Yup.”
Paisley hopped into my arms and hugged me tightly. After that, not a single complaint left her lips all morning. She ate breakfast, got dressed, and sprinted out the door.
I dropped her off at camp twenty minutes later and then turned back into traffic and headed to Wall Street.
Max’s company was huge and had millions of employees all over the world. They had offices in New York, Seattle, Chicago, Houston, London, Paris, and more. The thought of working somewhere so prestigious made my stomach turn.
“You made it.” Max held his arms out wide as I climbed out of my car. Slamming the door shut behind me, I turned to him with a nervous grimace. “Relax, Ryan. You’ll be fine.”
He slapped my back and ushered me inside. I followed close behind him as he wound a quick path toward the elevator. On the way, he stopped to introduce me to a few different people. I met his assistant, his boss’s boss, and the regional manager of the entire company.
I shook hands and smiled but barely spoke. Max did most of the talking, explaining to everyone that I was hesitant to join corporate America but that he was determined to coax me into the company.
“You’ll love it here,” the regional manager said. “And working alongside your brother, what could be better than that?”
