She mulled over the question until she parked at the clinic, grateful the Tylenol her mother had given her was finally at work, but it didn’t stop the raw throb that came from her last conversation with Spencer. The open wound of their split pulsed, and the look in his eyes burned in her memory, causing her to wince every time she replayed the vision of his face full of hurt and betrayal. Even though Owen’s sudden appearance and warm familiarity distracted her, it didn’t reach the deepest crevices of sorrow. There was no healing in his reassuring smile.
Twenty-Four
Cressa rushed into Marilyn’s diner at a quarter past six. Her eyes were immediately drawn to Owen amid the noisy hustle of the restaurant. He was sitting in a corner booth that faced the towering slab of Coyote Ridge, his gaze captured by the giant rock face that dripped wet with melting snow.
All day, Cressa had checked her phone to see if there were any messages from Spencer. None had come. He hadn’t been there when she’d pulled in from work, and Cressa wasn’t sure if she should be sad or grateful. But she’d had little time to consider it. Hurriedly warming up the last of Spencer’s chicken and dumplings for their dinner, she’d left each of her parents with a kiss on the cheek before hurrying out the door.
“I’m meeting Owen for a quick dinner,” she’d explained.
“That doctor from Salt Lake?” her mother had asked incredulously. “I didn’t know he lived up here.”
“His name is Owen, Mom, and no, he doesn’t live here. He’s just visiting. But I won’t be long.”
“What about the other boy, Mr. Sagebrush? The one who was here all day. He’s your boyfriend, right?”
“He’s not my boyfriend, Mom. I’ll explain everything when I get home.”
Her mother had given her suspicious look.
“Let Cressa go, Jeanie,” her father had said. “We’ll hear her story when she gets home.” He’d given his daughter a lingering look. “It’d better be a good one. Your mother, Agnes, and I will want to hear everything.”
Cressa had kissed her father on the cheek, but she’d seen the look of doubt in his eyes.
Now, standing by the cash register in Marilyn’s Diner, Cressa put her phone away as she hurried to Owen and slid into the Naugahyde booth.
Owen faced her. “This is some pretty country up here. I’ve never been to Montana before. People aren’t always friendly, though. There’s a sweet little barista down at the Jumpin’ Bean. She was nice enough, but I don’t think she meant it, and the mechanic in the same parking lot gave me a cold stare.”
“Folks around here tolerate tourists, but they prefer to leave their small piece of paradise as it is. Your visit is falling outside of the parameters of friendliness since you’re here so early in the season.” She gazed out the big picture window. “I can’t say that I blame them. It’s beautiful here. But I have to admit I haven’t been able to get out in it.” Her afternoon with Spencer and Kimber at the lake broke through her thoughts, stopping her breath with the sheer beauty of the day. She could still remember Kimber’s scrunched-up expression as she’d looked up at her with the sun shining on her sweet baby face. A stab of misery pushed into Cressa, but she did her best to ignore it.
“Right. You’ve been taking care of your folks and working full time. How is all of that going?”
Cressa corralled her memory and focused on Owen. “It’s not as bad as it could be,” she said. She told Owen about the remodel and her mother’s up-and-down dance with dementia, but her language changed to what would take place between two professionals. The prospect of telling him anything personal about her family life or Spencer met the quick decision to keep everything private, although she wasn’t sure why. She pulled in her emotions along with her personal life and waited as the waitress came and took their order.
After she left, Owen asked, “Did you consider what I said this morning?”
Cressa chose not to answer him. Instead, she moved beyond his declaration of affection. “I can’t help but be puzzled, Owen. How did your decision to come to Montana even materialize?”
“After you left, things got kind of … dismal, and I started to realize how much I missed you.” He settled in his seat as the waitress placed their meals before them and bustled away.
Cressa was grateful for the break. It gave her time to think about what Owen was saying, so she could formulate a reply. But still she was wordless.
Owen continued, “I was hoping we might be able to try again. I know it wouldn’t be perfect, because it’d have to be a long-distance relationship. There’s no work for me here, and I know you can’t travel down to Salt Lake because of your parents. But I’d come up as often as possible. My schedule would probably allow a visit every couple of weeks. Next month, the hospital is going to start rotating their ER physicians to seven on, seven off. I could be up here about half the time.”
Cressa remained quiet, but inside, her thoughts were whirring. Was Owen asking for reconciliation? A small pebble of burden slipped into Cressa’s soul, but she couldn’t place its source. Owen had never required much effort, and his offer was a godsend. Falling into Owen’s familiar arms would help her overcome the loss surrounding Spencer and Kimber. Still, she hesitated. “I-I’m not sure, Owen. We lead very different lives now.”
Owen smiled and sat back against his seat. “Tell me about the clinic.”
Cressa furrowed her brow. “There’s not much to tell. And it wouldn’t interest you anyway. There’s nothing fast-paced or fascinating about ear infections, broken bones, or stitching up sliced thumbs.” Cressa’s mind traveled to Spencer as she recalled his rough, warm palm against her cheek. She pushed that thought away as she continued, “My hours are steady. I work from nine to five-thirty or so, depending on what comes in the door. When it comes to cases beyond the scope of our clinic, I stabilize them before sending them on to St. Pat’s in Missoula by helicopter. But I’ve only had to call for a chopper twice.”
“It doesn’t sound so bad. And you forget we see plenty of ear infections, broken bones, and stitched digits in the ER,” Owen replied. He leaned forward. “Look, Cressa. We can take this slow. The bottom line for me is that I miss you in my life.” He leaned back. “Who knows? I may decide to come join you in this little clinic of yours. Physicians are few and far between in these rural communities.”
Cressa didn’t like the way Owen referred to her “little clinic,” but she chided herself for being too sensitive. “Let me think about all of this, Owen.”
“Of course,” he said easily.
Cressa pushed her plate away and continued to consider him. He was always so confident and assured. Cressa was sure no woman had ever turned him down, and every patient fell in love with him with his engaging bedside manner and decisive approach to medicine.
He had won over Cressa their first shift together. They were complementary opposites. Where he was bold and fearless, she was cautious and thoughtful. He bowled patients over with his winning smile and surety while she cajoled patients with a listening presence and compassion. Owen painted life with big and daring brushstrokes while Cressa filled in the details.
Where did Spencer fit in all of this?
The thought struck Cressa off-balance, and she shook it off. Spencer didn’t need to fit. After all, she didn’t fit into his life with his beautiful ex-wife and sweet daughter. They were a family, and she had bowed out to give that family the best chance at reconciliation. Maybe Owen was offering her the same opportunity.
Owen continued, “In the meantime, I’ve got a few vacation days, so I’m going to spend some time loving Montana.” He leaned forward. “Is it too late for you to get some time off?”
Cressa bit her lip. “I can try, and I might be able to swing one day or an afternoon. We’ll have to see.” She placed her forearms on the table as a new concern laced the edge of her mind. “Owen, I hope you’ll understand that I can’t have you spending any time with my parents right now.”
A look of concern came into Owen’
s face. “Why not?”
“We’re having the house remodeled in order to improve mobility, and they’re finally settling in to having the workmen and their caregiver there. It took a while for that to become their routine. Throwing you into the mix would be …” She searched for the right word.
Owen finished her sentence. “Unsettling. Especially for your Mom.”
Cressa breathed a sigh. “Yes. That’s it exactly.”
“I hope you don’t think I came here expecting you to put me up. I have a room over at Bev’s Hotel—I think that’s the name of the place. Have you ever been there? It sits right on the shores of the lake. It’s absolutely beautiful.” He gazed out through the big picture window into the softening evening. “It’s gorgeous here,” he murmured.
“Yes, it is,” Cressa agreed as she followed his gaze out the window. Once again, her thoughts were drawn to the beauty of her time spent with Spencer and their date as the water danced with the fire from the setting sun.
She recalled how he had cried over the loss of his family. Wait. Maybe that wasn’t quite right. His halting tears were around the pain caused by that loss and his ex-wife’s betrayal. Was that splitting hairs, or was it the chasm that made reconciliation between Spencer and his ex-wife impossible? She closed her mind to her questions. She was right to give Spencer and his family another chance. Kimber deserved an intact family.
Owen reached over and took Cressa’s hand, pulling her back from her reverie. She gave him a grateful smile. She didn’t need to be thinking about Spencer.
“Thanks for seeing me,” Owen said. “You didn’t have to.”
Cressa smiled into his steel-blue eyes and squeezed his fingers. “I’m glad you came,” she said, and she meant it. She glanced outside one more time. “I really need to get home,” she said. “My folks are alone.”
“Sure thing.” Owen picked up the check before helping Cressa out of the bench seat.
She stood beside him as he paid the bill, and they walked to her car together, the moment turning awkward. Just last night she’d longed for Spencer’s kiss, and now, she was faced with Owen, looking into her eyes with that familiar tease and yearning she remembered so well, but her heart rang hollow. Maybe it would just take some time.
Placing her hand on Owen’s cheek, she whispered, “Thank you for dinner. I’ll call you as soon as I hear about a day off.”
Owen stepped back, and Cressa was grateful for his ability to read her and the situation. He wouldn’t push her beyond her readiness. “I’ll look forward to hearing from you,” he said.
Quickly, Cressa folded herself into her car and pulled onto the road, a hazy sadness filling her with uncertainty. Was the melancholy coming from confusion around Owen’s arrival and declaration, or did she miss Spencer? No answer came. Checking her rearview mirror, she focused on Owen standing in the gathering dusk, growing smaller by the moment.
Twenty-Five
Cressa sat by the lake just outside Bev’s hotel. She raised her face to meet the dimpled sun that played with the pines, the soft breeze caressing her throat. Owen sat next to her, his fingers entwined with hers, gently keeping Cressa tethered to earth. This moment was a nice reprieve from the regular routine of earaches at work and endless meal preparation and care at home. She had told her parents that Owen was visiting but he would be going back to Salt Lake City within a few days, before sharing the news about her breakup with Spencer.
Cressa’s father had understood. “You’ve done the right thing to give that young family a chance,” he’d said.
Tears had come to Cressa’s eyes, but she’d brushed them away. “Thanks, Dad.”
“I’m not so sure,” her mother had countered. “They got divorced for a reason, and he’s a good man. You deserve a good man, Cressa, and I’m afraid Mr. Doctor from Salt Lake City ain’t it.”
Doubt had crowded in Cressa’s heart, and she’d given her mother an uncertain look, but said nothing.
Now, sitting with Owen in the soft early April afternoon, she tried to push all of those concerns away. She had not seen Spencer in the four days since their breakup, but they had texted a couple of times about bathroom fixtures, and Andrew had become the go-between for other matters regarding the remodeling work.
Every time Spencer’s name flashed up on Cressa’s phone, her heart would leap up with hopeful possibility, but she shut it down quickly. Owen’s companionship was making Spencer’s absence easier, although even now thoughts of him still provoked her heart into a wild frenzy for several seconds.
Every evening, she would walk into the master bath to see the progress of the remodel, and his presence filled the space, washing over her like warm, soothing water. She couldn’t stay in the room for long. The loss of him would fill her with melancholy, and she would hastily retreat with the whisper of Spencer’s nearness following her down the hall.
Once the work was finished, Spencer would no longer come to the house. She hoped the feeling of his closeness would go with him. Sometimes, if she allowed herself any stillness, the essence of him brushed against her skin, sending a shiver down her spine as she recalled his warm body next to hers.
Sitting up, Cressa cleared her throat.
“Are you okay?” Owen asked.
Cressa blinked. Did she really just doze off with thoughts of Spencer? She cleared her throat again. “I’m fine,” she said. “I’m so glad I was able to get this one afternoon off. It’s been nice to spend it—” Was she enjoying Owen’s company, or was it just the outing? Sipping good coffee from the Jumpin’ Bean and lounging lakeside was filling her empty well.
“When you told me you’d be free, I thought of all the things we could do. There are so many outdoor activities. After some thought, I figured you might just want to idle the day away with good food, good coffee, and this beautiful lake.”
Cressa squeezed his hand. “And good company.” She smiled.
“I’m sorry I have to leave so early tomorrow,” Owen said.
“A five-o’clock flight out of Missoula is early.”
“I’ll drive down tonight and get a room. Otherwise, I’d be leaving here at one in the morning.” He sat back in his chair and took in a deep breath. “I wish I didn’t have to go. If you had to move anyplace, I’m glad it’s here. I’ve grown very fond of Sunrise Creek. Maybe someday …”
Cressa gave Owen a serious look. “What are you saying?”
Laughing, Owen shook his head. “I’m not sure. I’ve only been here a few days, but this place has put a spell on me. I’ve always thought of myself as a city boy who’s addicted to the fast pace of life, and I love the canyons and mountains of Utah. But being here has been nothing short of miraculous.” He faced Cressa. “And the fact that you’re here has just helped me put my life into perspective. I’m beginning to see that there’s more to this world than working hard and playing even harder.”
Doubt mingled with panic. Did Cressa really want Owen here full time? “That doesn’t sound like you, Owen. Besides, there’s nothing more exciting than saving lives. You and the ER are a match made in heaven. What would you do without it?”
Owen smiled. “Maybe live in a place that smells like mountains and trees instead of antiseptic. The air here is intoxicating.”
Cressa laughed but said nothing.
“You’re intoxicating,” Owen said as he moved his chair towards hers and leaned forward, taking her hands in his.
In all their earlier years together, Owen had never talked like this, and it left her unsteady. “You’re getting too much oxygen,” she teased.
Owen squeezed her fingers. “No. Maybe for the first time, I can breathe.” He reached up and grazed Cressa’s cheek, and she leaned into his familiar touch.
Cressa’s phone chimed, breaking apart the moment she and Owen were sharing. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she searched through her purse for her phone.
Owen laughed. “Hey, I get it,” he said. “How many of our meals were interrupted because one of us got pa
ged?”
Cressa threw him a smile before reading the screen. “It’s my alarm. I’ve got to get home,” she said. “The boys—I mean, Andrew and Spencer are gone now. My folks need dinner, and I don’t want them alone for too long.”
“Of course.” Owen stood and offered Cressa his hand.
She placed her fingers in his and stood as nature offered a symphony of wind, water, and birds settling for the evening.
Owen pulled her near. “I wish I could stay,” he whispered.
Cressa placed her arms around Owen’s neck and pulled him close, his cheek against hers. But there was no budding desire or wish for more time—only a hollowed space where what they’d shared used to live.
Owen’s lips brushed up against hers, and she received his kiss along with the familiarity it offered. His embrace was warm and certain, and he moved against her in a way that fired in her nerves, but not in her heart.
She pulled away as this new revelation rose to the surface, creating havoc in her well-ordered mind. Gently, she traced his ear. “Call me when you get home, okay?”
“Of course,” he said.
Moving away from him, her fingers glided across his arm until only their fingers were touching. And with one last smile, she left him standing on the shores of Sunrise Lake, taking with her more confusion than want.
Twenty-Six
Spencer heard the doors of the Forerunner slam shut while Kimber chattered to her mother. He looked out his window to see Lyla pulling Kimber’s backpack out of the truck and slinging it across her shoulder before reaching down and taking Kimber’s hand.
Rubbing his fingers together, Spencer made his way to the door and opened it before Lyla knocked. Sunshine spilled in with his ex-wife and daughter.
“Hey!” Lyla said cheerfully.
Sapphires And Sagebrush (Country Brides & Cowboy Boots) Page 15
