He wrinkled his nose. “I wouldn’t like it. All that mess. Dirt. Sweat. Smells. And all those animals.”
“Maybe you’d like it if you tried it. I had a cat,” she said, attempting to find common ground.
“A cat? No. Ugh. I hate them. We won’t have any, I assure you.”
Delfyne raised a brow. “Timbelina was a pretty cat.”
“Timebelina?”
“That’s what I named her.” She explained why.
He laughed and chucked her under the chin. Actually chucked her under the chin. “You’re such a child. I like that. It’s refreshing that you’re so naive. But no cats, no matter how sweet you are. I’ll give you babies instead. Lots of babies to keep you busy. If I give you something to do, you won’t care about animals anymore. You’ll like the babies I give you, won’t you? I remember you used to like dolls.”
Delfyne resisted the urge to hit him. As if a baby was something one bought at a store to appease a woman. “I was eight when I liked dolls. We haven’t spent a lot of time together over the years.”
“But we will,” he said with a grin. “We’ll soon be married and you’ll learn to like me. In my bed, I’ll make you squeal. You’ll learn what pleases me.” He placed his hand over hers.
A wave of something very much like fear washed over Delfyne. She had a strong desire to use a self-defense maneuver on him. But that would be wrong. Arian was to be her husband. He had the right to say what he was saying. There was no need to feel so claustrophobic and ill and…
“I do not squeal,” she said without thinking. And then she turned. “Forgive me. I hope you’ll excuse me. I don’t feel well.” Without waiting for him to answer, she fled.
But to where? Where was Owen? She needed to see him. He was leaving. Too soon. Andreus had said so. Would he go without even saying goodbye? She’d never see him again after this. The very thought made her stumble, but she kept moving and searching, the panic building inside her.
Rushing out into the hall, she found him with Andreus and stopped short.
Without taking her eyes off Owen, she touched her brother’s hand. “I love you, Andreus,” she told him. “I’ve missed seeing you, and we haven’t even had a chance to talk yet, but…we’ll talk later. Right now, you need to leave. I really mean that.”
There was a long moment of silence. Finally, she looked at Andreus. He raised a brow, opened his mouth to say something.
She gave him a look they’d shared as children. It meant I will make you pay later if you thwart me now. Andreus had been the master of the look. He’d invented it, but Delfyne did a pretty good job now. Without so much as another glance, he whisked himself away.
“Andreus told me that you were going,” she said to Owen, rushing in, her words spilling out fast. “You’re leaving right now, aren’t you? This very minute? You weren’t even going to say goodbye to me.”
Without a word he stepped forward and brushed one finger down her cheek. He shook his head. “You’re wrong. I was determined to say goodbye. I was simply waiting for the right moment.”
“Is this it?”
“You know the answer. I can’t stay.”
“It’s because of your ranch, isn’t it? Of course. I should have thought of that before now. I shouldn’t have let you fly me home. You’re needed there.”
“Delfyne,” he said gently, and she thought her heart would break into two ragged pieces.
This wouldn’t do. Owen had known such guilt in his life. Letting him see how his departure was tearing at her would only make him hate himself. She couldn’t let him see her cry, so she struggled for a smile and even managed a somewhat tremulous one. “Besides, who knows what Ben and Lydia are up to with no one there to chaperone them?” she asked, trying to make the ending moment light.
It worked…for a second. Owen smiled, too. “Lydia and Ben? They’re probably doing this,” he said, and he gently kissed her. “Goodbye, Princess. You’re the best guest the Second Chance ever had. I won’t ever forget you.”
And then he turned and walked out the door and out of her life. The clicking of the door snapping shut and separating her from him sent Delfyne into full panic mode.
She ran to the door and opened it. “Owen,” she cried. But when he turned, she didn’t know what to say. What could she say? Don’t go? I love you? Don’t leave me? No, she couldn’t say any of those things because saying the words would only make the truth harder to bear.
“Have Lydia write me to let me know when Timbelina has her babies,” she said.
He gazed at her for so long that for just a few seconds she felt some sort of sad and foolish hope that the two of them could stay there staring at each other forever.
“The minute it happens,” he finally said, and this time when he left, she closed the door on him and her hopes. Ten minutes later, Andreus found her there on her knees on the carpet sobbing uncontrollably.
He dropped down beside her and took her into his arms.
“Fyna, please don’t cry. You’re breaking my heart,” he told her, using her childhood nickname. “I should never have sent you to Owen.”
Despite her tears, Delfyne shook her head. She touched his face gently. “He was the best gift you ever gave me, Dré. Thank you.”
Then she struggled to her feet and went to her room. When she rose the next morning, she was composed, if devoid of life. It was time to do her duty.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
OWEN stared at the cat sitting at his feet just inside the front door. Timbelina was whimpering—actually whimpering—and looking at him as if he needed to do something to make her world better.
He had never paid much attention to cats. They were just there, a necessary part of the ranch. But this one had caught Delfyne’s attention, and she would be worried if the pregnancy didn’t go according to plan. And darn it…the cat was crying! He just couldn’t ignore that.
“Cat…Timbelina,” he said, not even looking around to see if anyone was listening. “You are going to be the best-cared-for cat Montana has ever known, and it’s not just going to be this bed Delfyne made for you. When you have those kittens, and Lydia writes Delfyne to tell her about it, I want her to hear only good things, and…I’d even send her one of your kittens so she would miss you less, but I wouldn’t want to quarantine the poor little thing. Besides, Delfyne would be beside herself if she thought she was taking away one of your babies.”
The cat tilted her head as if she understood. She whimpered again, and suddenly Owen’s heart just hurt so much he could barely stand it. He had to get away from this terrible pain. “Stay healthy, cat,” he said, as he stumbled through the screen door, letting it bounce shut behind him with a series of small bangs. And then he was practically running for…he had no idea what. Work. Working until he was ready to drop was the only way he could make it through the day.
“Owen!” Lydia’s voice brought him up short. He turned.
“You can’t live like this,” Lydia said. “I’m worried about her. You have to call her. You love her. Don’t deny it.”
He wasn’t about to. He would never deny Delfyne. “She’s a princess, Lydia. I never told you that. I couldn’t tell you while she was here. She wanted everyone to treat her like a normal person, but…now, she’s marrying a prince. It’s over.” He turned back around.
“I know she’s a princess,” Lydia said, and her voice, though soft, still carried. “I know how to use that Google thing, too, and I found out. Heck, I bet just about everyone in town knew and kept the secret. Delfyne being a princess doesn’t make a difference to your heart, though. Love can work miracles, Owen.”
He knew that, because love had done what nothing else had ever done for him. He’d spent years thinking that the reason he hadn’t been able to hold his wife or to give another woman what she needed and wanted was because he had an essential character flaw, that he was incapable of being the kind of man to love truly and deeply enough. But being with Delfyne had taught him that he could be tha
t man who cared enough to give it all. If there was a chance in the world that he could be with her, the where would no longer matter. Montana would be just a memory if it didn’t suit her. A plain wooden box of a cabin with just the basics would be enough for him if she was there with him. The crowds of the city would be all right, too. Delfyne had taught him that he wasn’t flawed. His heart had just been waiting to be fully awakened, and he hadn’t realized it. He could love enough to give with Delfyne, and if her situation were different…
“I know love can change things, Lydia,” he said. “But this time it can’t. If I tried to make her mine, I would harm her. This just isn’t going to happen.”
And he had darn well better get used to learning to live without her. He would do that, too. He would at least start trying to forget her.
As Lydia opened the door to go back inside, he looked at the cat. The poor animal was looking for Delfyne, wasn’t it? Was Delfyne missing Timbelina, too? It occurred to him that Delfyne had had many of the things she’d loved yanked away from her. That was just wrong.
So what are you going to do about that? he asked himself. Is there anything you can do?
“Well if there is, I’m doing it,” he promised himself aloud. “We’ll just call it a wedding present.”
Delfyne was in her room when there was a light knock on the door. She opened it to find Andreus standing there, holding a big box.
She frowned in confusion as he held the box out to her. “What’s this?”
“I don’t know. I just know that I received a call from Owen yesterday. He had a lot of questions. Do you have any pets? Are you practicing your self-defense moves? Are you happy?”
Delfyne’s heart clenched. “Owen called and you didn’t tell me? You didn’t call me to the telephone?” She tried to keep the panic from her voice.
“He wouldn’t let me. It was a very short conversation, but one of the servants just brought this to me. It arrived this morning, and he wasn’t sure if it was all right for you to accept a package from your American, as he put it.”
Anticipation and…something else, something painful, filled Delfyne’s soul as she sank to her knees, holding the box. Her hands shook, and she couldn’t manage to tear the tape.
“Let me,” Andreus said, his voice gentle as he assisted her.
The box flaps gave way, and Delfyne reached inside. When she looked up there was a small smile on her face and tears in her eyes.
“What is it, Fyna?” Andreus said.
“Oh…wonderful stuff. Some recipes from Lydia. Photos of Timbelina and Jake and Alf and Lydia and…oh, of everyone I knew there. There’s a—a note from Owen. He says that the townspeople decided that the wood-products people weren’t right for the town but that they’ve got a new business that makes green products. And…and he says he wishes he could send me a kitten but he wasn’t sure I could keep one in the castle. He says everyone misses me.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, she stumbled over her words and had to stop talking.
“Is there a photo of Owen?”
She looked up at him with sad eyes as she struggled to speak. “No, but…I’m not surprised. Owen wouldn’t think it was right for me to have a picture of a man when I’m marrying someone else.”
“I know,” he said solemnly. “That’s a big box for a few photos.”
She bit her lip. “That’s because it’s full of bracelets. Hundreds of the bracelets he knows I love,” she whispered, holding up one that was made of pink and white and gold hearts strung together.
“Hearts,” Andreus said. “Owen, the least demonstrative man I know, gave you hearts.”
“Dré…he gave me so much more than hearts,” Delfyne said, but when she looked up at Andreus and saw the worry in his eyes she shook her head. “Don’t be concerned. It doesn’t mean anything. It can’t mean anything. You know that.”
But as she sat there, hugging the box to herself after Andreus had gone, her tears fell on the heart bracelet she had tangled in her fingers. She realized that this bracelet wasn’t inexpensive plastic, and there was an engraving on the back of the largest heart, the golden one. “Your happiness is all that matters,” it said.
She pressed the metal to her lips and kissed it. “No, yours matters more, so I have to be strong for your sake,” she whispered to the man who would never hear her words.
Someday she would send him a photo to prove she was unharmed and content, so that he would be happy…but she couldn’t do that yet. She was afraid that the look in her eyes would reveal too much of the truth.
Delfyne heard her parents and Andreus whispering as she passed the library. They’d done a lot of that during the three days since her return. In times gone by, she might have at least cared what they were saying about her, but lately the answers didn’t matter.
“Delfyne,” her mother called. “We want to talk to you.”
Delfyne entered the room. Her parents and Andreus were lined up, looking like some sort of royal inquisition. Somehow her curiosity wasn’t piqued. She just couldn’t care.
“What is going on with you and Arian, Delfyne?” her father asked. “I need to know what all the fuss is about.”
That caught her by surprise. “Nothing,” she said carefully. “I haven’t made a fuss. I see him every day. I’m going to marry him just as you planned.”
Her father huffed. “That’s it, then, Melaina, you’re right. Something’s wrong.”
Delfyne blinked. Her mother stepped forward and took her hands. “Something is wrong. You don’t laugh with Arian. Ever. And…your father is right. The fact that you’re doing just what we planned says a lot. Delfyne…you always fuss and do a few foolish things before settling in to your duty. The fact that you’re not…Andreus told us that you received a package from America. Delfyne, what did that man do to you?”
There was no point in even pretending she didn’t understand who “that man” was. “He let me name his cat. And…he found a horse for me that was so gentle I couldn’t possibly be scared. He let me use his kitchen and he ate what I cooked and lied and told me it was good and…”
She couldn’t help it. A tear ran down her cheek.
“Delfyne, you’re crying,” he father said. “You never cry.”
“Except for the past three nights,” Andreus said. “I’ve heard you when I pass your room.”
“Oh, Delfyne, do you hate Arian so much?” her mother asked.
“No. I don’t, but he…he said that I couldn’t have a cat. He said he’d make sure I had lots of babies, instead. And I—oh, I don’t hate him. I just don’t like him very much.”
“Oh, Delfyne,” her mother said, taking her in her arms.
“Tell them about the self-defense lessons,” Andreus said.
Delfyne blinked and Melaina released her. “Owen told you?” she asked her brother. “What else did he tell you?”
Andreus was practically seething. “He told me, and yes, he told me why. He didn’t like breaking your trust, but he insisted that I screen my friends more carefully.”
Delfyne’s heart broke a little more. What was Owen doing now, she wondered?
“What?” she said when she realized that her father was talking to her.
“Your brother just told me that some of our guests have tried to seduce you, even forcefully,” Fyodor said, bristling. “Delfyne, who were these people who tried to hurt you?”
She shook her head. “It was long ago, Father. And it wouldn’t happen now. Owen made sure I could protect myself. Owen hit a man who tried to touch me and threw him off his ranch, and Owen also—”
The words wouldn’t come out, her lips were trembling so.
“Delfyne,” her mother said gently. “You’re a princess.”
“Do you think I don’t know that? It’s the reason I can’t be with the man I love.” The tears were falling harder now.
“And if you weren’t a princess?” her father asked.
Delfyne wanted to say that everything would be fine, but…
/> “I don’t know. There are lots of women who want him, and he doesn’t want anyone. He’s married to his ranch, and I don’t think he’ll ever want children after losing his son.”
“So, even if you were free, he might never marry you,” her mother said.
Delfyne couldn’t deny that. “But I’d still love him,” she whispered. “And I wouldn’t dishonor that love by marrying someone I don’t love or even like.”
Her father smiled in that gentle way he sometimes had when he was going to say something instructive. “You’ve seen your sisters and Andreus follow their duties, and you know the restrictions of a royal life. But it’s also a safe life in many ways. You’ve been shielded from the risks of an ordinary life. I wonder if you know just how painful life like that can be.”
“You’re right. I don’t know, but…is it worse than not caring if you get up in the morning because the person you love most is far away? Is it worse than worrying about him every minute and feeling as if the years ahead of you seem empty because he won’t ever be there?” she wondered. “Is it—” Her voice broke. “—is it worse than being afraid that he might get hurt and you wouldn’t even have the right to go to him because you had been married off to someone else for political gain?”
A sob broke from her mother. “Fyodor!” Melaina cried. “Do something.”
Delfyne went to her, her own tears streaming as she gathered her mother close. “I’m sorry, Mother. I shouldn’t have said all that. Believe me, I don’t want to hurt you. It serves no purpose for me to complain, because there’s nothing Father can do, anyway. I am who I am, I was born to this purpose, and promises have been made. There are expectations, commitments and…centuries of history. Contracts have been signed.”
The clock ticked loudly. A sadness settled over all of them. No one spoke.
“I can’t,” Fyodor said, holding out his hands helplessly. “The scandal…and this man you want…a man you barely know, who calls Andreus to ask about you—which is completely inappropriate in your situation—a divorced man who has already told you that he doesn’t feel that he can commit to a woman…”
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