by Logan Jacobs
“It’s like having a child,” she complained as she gazed up at us woefully from the floor. “A mobile, forgetful, dirty child.”
“Sounds like we’ve found the mission that finally does in the mighty Fae hunter,” Ariette joked as we joined the hunter on the floor. “Babysitting.”
“Um, yeah, when the ‘baby’ is thousands of years old,” Maaren grumbled. “First, he wanted to grade his papers, and that was fine and easy. Then he decided that he needed to clean this entire place up because it was too much of a mess. The entire place! But he only got about halfway through the first shelf at the front before he decided that it was time to water all of his plants. And just before he got to doing that, his alarm went off, and he bumbled around like a mad man because apparently, he had forgotten about his class. The teacher forgot about his class, can you imagine?”
“I wish my teachers had forgotten about my classes,” I grumbled.
“I don’t see how he gets anything done,” Maaren finished. “I wouldn’t be surprised if half those kids have A’s just because he lost their papers somewhere in his sea of clutter.”
“Well, how about some good news to cheer you up, then?” Ariette said lightly as she patted Maaren’s shoulder.
“We get to go back to bed?” the hunter asked and perked up at the prospect.
“Not quite,” I answered, and her face fell into a pout immediately.
“Fine,” she whimpered as she crossed her arms and slumped even further into the wall. “What is it then?”
“We’re on a stakeout!” Ariette cried, her voice laced with fake joy.
Maaren slowly turned to the elf with a deep scowl etched into her face. “Ariette,” she started, “your definitions of ‘good news’ and ‘cheer up’ are much different from mine.”
“Hey, on the flipside,” I interjected, “Kal’s bringing us some sandwiches that she claims are like sex on bread.”
“Okay,” Maaren considered with a tilt of her snow white head, “that I can get behind.”
Just then, the door to the office swung open, and all of us went dead silent. We held our breath and waited to see if Genevieve would appear, but to our dismay, it was just Professor Limmer.
“I have returned!” the dryad announced gleefully as he came around the corner. “Did you whippersnappers miss me?”
“Well, at least he remembered that you’re supposed to be here,” I muttered to Maaren, but she just groaned.
“Oh, hello,” he said when he saw Ariette and I. “Are these your teammates?”
“Yep,” Maaren growled. “You met them like an hour ago, remember?”
“Can’t say that I do.” The professor shrugged. “Now if you’ll excuse me, office hours are--”
“Professor,” Ariette said as she stood up, “we’re just going to watch your flowers for you until the thief comes back. We’ll stay out of your way, so just go about your business like you normally do.”
“Oh, my classes are all done for the day,” Limmer replied happily. “Tonight is one of the few nights I don’t have a class or any lab experiments to do, so I’m going to go back home and take a long nap. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, though.”
“We kind of have to,” Maaren muttered beside me, but Ariette shushed her with a wave of her hand.
“Thank you,” the elf said to the professor. “We’ll be sure to tell you as soon as we catch whoever is taking your Moly Flower.”
“Someone is taking my flowers?” he gasped. “Oh, dear me. I guess I do remember that they’ve been disappearing… Well, thank you very much for investigating. Very much indeed.”
And with that, Limmer grabbed an old cloth bag from his desk chair and exited the cluttered office with a flourish.
“That is one strange dryad,” I chuckled as he exited. “But he seems like a nice enough guy. I totally would have loved to have him as my professor, it would have been like every day was a new adventure!”
“Literally,” Maaren exhaled. “I’m sure he doesn’t even know where he’s going with each session until he gets there.”
“Let’s go get a better vantage point,” Ariette said as she stood and cracked her back. “This thief isn’t going to catch herself.”
We shuffled over to sit behind one of the iron shelves a row over from the ceramic pot full of Moly Flowers. From behind a stack of boxes, we could just peer over and see the pot. Thanks to the darkness of the space, and the clutter piled up around us, we were so well hidden that nobody who tried to sneak in would even notice we were there.
The first few hours of the stakeout dragged on forever. The day reached its only high point when Kalista dashed in and brought us all our sandwiches. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to enjoy the dwarf’s company for too long before she raced back to the van to set up surveillance around Genevieve’s room. We had to be prepared, just in case our would-be thief came back.
In the meantime, the three of us got to dig into these amazing sandwiches. As I peeled back the foil-like wrapping on my food, my nostrils were instantly hit with a pepperoni-filled aroma, and it took all I had to keep drool from dripping out of my mouth. I raised up the sandwich, took a bite, and savored the flavor.
The spicy pepperoni and ham nearly melted in my mouth, and the provolone cheese added the perfect little twinge of sharpness to the morsel. Each bite I took was like an explosion of flavor in my mouth, and there was a slight crunch thanks to the fresh lettuce, onion, and tomatoes that were smooshed between the two pieces of white bread.
“Oh my God,” Ariette groaned as she bit into the food. “This is like sex on bread.”
“Better than sex,” Maaren mumbled through her own mouthful.
“Not with Milton,” Ariette giggled slyly. “Nothing can top that.”
“Hmm…” Maaren eyed me hungrily. “That makes me want to jump his bones right here.” She glanced at Ariette. “You wouldn’t mind, right?”
“I wouldn’t mind if I could join in,” she said thoughtfully. “But I’m not sure I wanna do it with that creepy dryad around. With how forgetful he is, he could forget he should be sleeping and come back at any time.” She shivered. “And besides, once Milton pulls out his cock, we won’t be paying attention to the stakeout at all. Why Genevieve could come right out here, and we wouldn’t notice her.”
“Well, maybe she’ll see Milton and come join in, and we can catch her that way?” Maaren tapped her cheek thoughtfully.
“That is true…” Ariette glanced at me. “What do you think, Mil--?”
“Hey, what are you kids doing here?” Professor Limmer said as he burst into the room and looked at us. “This area is strictly off limits.” He glared at each of us. “Office hours are over.”
Maaren sighed and rubbed her face with her hands. “We’re here to catch the thief who stole your Moly Flower. You know this--”
“Someone stole my Moly Flower?” The old dryad gasped. “Well, thank you for looking into it.” He nodded to us. “I’ll just be on my way.” He turned on his heel, and as I watched him go, I wondered why he had come back in at all.
“Man, tenure, am I right?” I said with a shrug as I turned back to my own sandwich. I took another bite, and while it may not have been better than sex, I had to admit it came pretty damn close. This time, I noticed just how perfectly soft the bread, with a crunchy crust and a thick, buttery flavor. It was meaty, cheesy, salty perfection.
“I want another,” Maaren complained, and I looked up from my food worship to see that the hunter had already scarfed down her entire sandwich.
“How do you eat so fast?” I asked in amazement. “That thing was a foot long!”
“It’s a gift,” she said as she shrugged proudly. “When you’re out hunting in the middle of some desolate location, you don’t have time to sit down for a four-course meal.”
“Orrr,” Ariette giggled. “You just have a lot of experience fitting large, cylinder-shaped items into your mouth.”
The blue-skinned hunter’s
face went a deep shade that resembled purple as she muttered something under her breath, and then plopped down on the ground.
I leaned back against a cardboard box behind me as I devoured my own sandwich, and then I toyed with the leaves on a bright purple plant that looked like a cross between a bush and a tiny tree.
“Does anyone know what this one is?” I asked as I rubbed a thumb over the silky smooth leaves. It had an interesting texture that reminded me of wet velvet.
“A Dracunian Brush Tree,” Ariette answered. “Those are always fun.”
“How did you know that?” Maaren asked with an impressed tone.
“It says it on the plaque right there,” the elf giggled in response, and then she pointed to a tiny silver plaque on the wooden pot that read “Dracunian Brush Tree.”
I crumpled the empty wrapper on my sandwich into a ball and then tossed it playfully at Ariette. “And here I thought we had our own botanist over here,” I teased with a grin.
Ariette shrugged her shoulders smugly and eyed me from under thick black lashes. Then, she crumpled up her own sandwich wrapper and tossed it back at me with a “hiyah.”
“Come on, guys,” Maaren muttered. “Pick up your trash. We don’t want to make a mess of this place.”
Ariette and I looked at the hunter, our faces full of confusion. Then, the twinge of a smile spread up the corner of Maaren’s face.
“I’m just messing with you,” she giggled. “Think fast!”
The hunter grabbed a nearby piece of clutter and flung it happily at me. I was just able to duck out of the way, and it struck a venus flytrap-looking plant on the shelf behind me. The plant trembled from the blow of the paper, snapped closed, and then returned to its original position.
I grabbed the fallen projectile and launched it at Ariette, but the elf was much too quick. She snatched the paper out of the air, spun her arm’s momentum behind her back, and then flung it across the room. It struck Maaren in the forehead, and the hunter grunted with annoyance.
“Hey!” she laughed.
Ariette just shrugged. “I figured a hunter would have better reflexes,” she joked.
After our makeshift foil-fight was over, the three of us sat around and continued to wait for our target. As the sun set, and the day wore into night, I felt my eyelids start to get heavy with sleep. Maaren had already passed out on the floor though Ariette promised to wake her up the moment anything exciting happened.
Ariette, meanwhile, was completely absorbed in a book with a completely ridiculous story about a dude who had been abducted by aliens and forced to fight alongside a bunch of cute alien women in an arena to keep the earth from getting enslaved.
“So, is it any good?” I asked as I turned to the box next to me and picked up a stapled packet of papers to keep my mind occupied and ward of the sleep that desperately wanted to overtake me.
“It’s not too bad.” She shrugged. “I especially like the President character.” She smirked. “He makes very good decisions.”
“Hmm… maybe I’ll have to check it out.” I smirked. “I do love me a good character.”
The packet of papers seemed to be an article that Professor Limmer himself had written. It was entitled “The Link Between Plant Species of the Nahul Plains and Unlimited Mana.” Apparently, according to Limmer’s theory, there was a genetic code within certain plants that were only found on the Nahul Plain, and the same genetic code was also found in those magical creatures who possessed a Hand of Power. He theorized that if this code could be unlocked and bonded together with the genetics of a Hand-possessor, the Fae would become so powerful that normal ailments like exhaustion and magic drain would no longer plague them.
That was a fascinating concept. I wondered what it would be like if I could fight someone like Imposter Amy and never grow tired. When, or if, I ever had to face the Phobos, the terrorist group of Unseelie elves that threatened the peace of our world, and become the Racmoth, that would definitely come in handy.
Unfortunately, Limmer’s theory was just that: a theory. He had yet to come up with any way to prove himself right. Judging by the fact that this copy was a draft and not a published paper, it looked like nobody else believed his argument, either.
“HC,” Ariette hissed, and her sharp voice drew me away from the essay.
I looked over and saw the elf shake Maaren’s shoulder gently, and as the hunter rose sleepily, Ariette pointed toward the door.
I turned my attention to the front of the office just in time to see the tin handle jiggle up and down, the way it would if someone was in the middle of picking the lock. I guess the professor was just with it enough to remember to lock his door when he left. Then, after a moment, there was a soft click, and the door swung open slowly with a long low creak.
My breath was soft in my ears as I watched a tiny figure step into the room.
The intruder was bathed in moonlight as she stepped gently into the office, and I caught the sheen of her thick black hair as the white light bounced off it. The intruder had dewy bright skin and almond-shaped eyes. One hand came up to tuck the curtain of hair behind her ears, and I saw that their outline was small and pointed. She was an elf.
The three of us shared a look as Genevieve’s slender figure stepped into the room and elegantly weaved through the maze of shelves and boxes. Ariette grabbed a nearby pen and silently wrote something on a piece of scrap paper.
Careful not to make a sound as Genevieve approached the Moly Flower pot, I leaned over to peer at the paper. On it, the elf had written, “Follow her.” Maaren and I both nodded in agreement and turned back to watch the thief.
Genevieve crept along the carpeted floor in complete silence. Her shoulders shook just slightly as she knelt next to the blue pot and pulled out a tiny plastic bag and a white latex glove. She slipped the glove onto her left hand and then proceeded to pluck a few flowers from the pot with nimble, careful fingers. When she was finally satisfied with the number of flowers she’d collected, she closed the bag and folded it over before she slipped it inside of her pocket.
I slid up a little closer to the box that separated me from the next aisle, careful to keep my breath shallow and silent. Suddenly, Genevieve swung her head around, and I ducked quickly to make sure she couldn’t see. Behind me, Maaren and Ariette also lay flat on the floor.
Or at least as flat as you could lay on a sea of clutter like this.
The three of us waited in dead silence. I didn’t even breathe. If Genevieve saw us now, she might run and completely fuck up any chance we had at catching the real bad guys.
I counted seven seconds in my head before I heard the creak of the door. I looked over my shoulder to see that Maaren had risen up on her elbows. She nodded once and stood up to follow Genevieve. Ariette and I followed suit.
We crept out into the pitch black night, with only the moon as our source of light. It was full and bright and hung high in the sky. The moonlight bathed the courtyard of the University in an eerie glow, and we could just make out Genevieve’s figure as she traipsed through the lush green grass and headed for the trail that ran behind the school.
“Stay back,” Maaren whispered to us, and Ariette and I allowed the hunter to take the lead. This was her expertise after all.
We walked forward cautiously and kept at least twenty feet between Maaren and Genevieve, with Ariette and I another few feet back. Thankfully, the trail was lined with trees, and we stepped off the hard red dirt and underneath the line of trees so that we were further obscured by the shadows.
I was hyper-aware of every sound I made as I walked, from the soft squelch of dirt under my boots to the puff of air through my lungs. Each sound felt deafeningly loud, but Genevieve never once turned around. Her back was erect, and it would seem she was just on a casual midnight stroll to any onlooker.
Well, as long as that onlooker didn’t notice her shaking shoulders and the way her fingers thrummed nervously against her thighs, that is.
The young elf in fron
t of us walked down the dirt path for a long time. By the time she finally stepped off the trail and wound through the courtyard of an apartment complex, the moon had shifted ten degrees in the sky. It had to be at least two in the morning now, the perfect time to commit a heist.
As we stepped onto the sidewalk, I was aware of how naked I suddenly felt without the trees to obscure us as we followed our suspect. The noises of my body and my two teammates grew infinitely, and the sound of our footsteps accosted my eardrums like loud EDM.
The three of us dropped even further back as we crossed through the yard of the apartment complex and came upon a park. There was a ring of trees around a huge, grassy field, with a playground and basketball courts off to the left. Genevieve paused, looked around nervously, and then made a beeline for the playground.
And then, just as the three of us hit the treeline, I snapped a twig under my boots.
The three of us dove behind the nearest willow tree as Genevieve whirled around, and we packed ourselves tightly together so that we were completely hidden from view. Maaren had pressed her smaller form up against Ariette’s chest, and I turned and squished myself into the space next to her as we held our breath and waited.
“Hello?” Genevieve’s voice called out from a few feet away. “Whoever’s there-- I have mace!”
Ariette closed her eyes as if she could will the young elf to turn around and ignore us.
“Hello?” Genevieve called again, and I could hear the tense fear in her voice.
The young woman had a sweet melodious quality to her tone that made her sound innocent and naïve. A perfect combination for a young thief.
She must have decided that the sound wasn’t worth any further investigation because we heard her footsteps begin to retreat across the grass, this time at a much quicker pace. I peeked my head around to see that Genevieve was almost at the playground.
“Let’s go,” Ariette whispered, “but stay in the trees. We don’t want to make her any more suspicious.”
Maaren and I nodded, and then we crept through the darkness of the trees as we watched Genevieve sit on the edge of a tan slide and kick her feet around in the dirt. When we were within earshot of the thief, I put my hand up to indicate for the other two to stop.
