But as the months go by and their relationship turned for the better, people around them started to notice -- that Christian is changing for the good and it was mainly because of his relationship with Elaine. It flattered the female, she won’t deny it. Knowing that she may be one of the reasons why Christian was trying to find a stable job, having the courage to pursue his passion in photography, and planning for his future, made her pleased.
All along, Elaine was expecting that she was included in the plan. It only dawned on her that she was never part of the picture when one day, she got home, expecting the smell of pepperoni and cheese for their usual pizza night, only to find a large bag filled with all of Christian’s things that had accumulated in her home. They never agreed to stay together officially but they might as well be for all the days and weekends the male had stayed with her.
At first, she thought he was going for a vacation. She could’ve accepted it, a six-month out of the country trips to take images of the wonders of nature. What she didn’t understand was why he had to break up with her.
They could’ve made it worked, Elaine believed so. She trusted herself to stay faithful and she put the same amount of trust on Christian. It just so happened that her ex-boyfriend did not believe in long distance relationships. It even hurt more when he said that he’s not even sure if he’s even coming back. His career was just starting, he said. It could be his one in a lifetime opportunity, he said. All Elaine could do was cry and beg him to at least try, but he was already decided.
And that was it. The end of a year-long relationship in just a snap.
--
The pastor was going through the sermon part and Elaine pinched her forearm to stay focused. They had to work overtime last night and she barely had a wink of sleep before she raced to be on time to the church.
Attending the mass was a weekly thing for Elaine. Christian never accompanied her no matter how much she forced him to and now, she’s secretly grateful because at the least, she has this one activity she was used to doing alone.
The pastor’s voice resounded against the walls and she snapped back into attention. Someone, a man perhaps judging by the black slacks and the scent, sat beside her. She almost rolled her eyes for the man’s tardiness but bit her lips when she realized that she was no better for drifting off instead of listening.
The pastor droned on and she could hear the sound of the piano and the jingle of the tambourine but it faded as her lids became heavier.
By the time she woke up, people were standing up and were walking towards the exit. Elaine jolted in her seat, lifting her head from a sturdy shoulder she was leaning on, cheeks crimsoning due to the embarrassment.
She looked to her right and her eyes widened while the color of her cheeks got redder. “Ivan,” she muttered. Of all people to fall asleep on while a mass was ongoing, it had to be her new next-door neighbor.
Ivan chuckled and raised his hand to his lip, which confused Elaine. When it dawned on her, she turned around and wiped the bit of drool that escaped her lips.
Clearing her throat and checking discreetly if there was still drool left, she turned back again to an amused Ivan. At least now, the smile reached his eyes unlike the first time she saw him.
“I’m sorry for falling asleep on you,” she pursed her lips. An old lady passing by gave her a stink eye and she refused to shrink on her seat in shame.
Her neighbor saw the gesture and he chuckled. “It’s okay. You went home late didn’t you?”
“How did you know?” Her eyebrows furrow.
Ivan looked more amused now. “I heard your door. It wasn’t exactly hard to when it’s the dead hour of the morning,” he explained.
Elaine nodded, laughing at herself for thinking of anomalous things such as Ivan being a stalker or a creep. It crossed her mind that it was still strange for him to be awake at such an hour but then that would mean it was also strange for her to have just come home so she didn’t bring it up.
“Oh!” She unconsciously glanced over his shoulder and found a tiny, wet mark. Scrambling for tissues, she pulled a handful and wiped at his clothes furiously. “I am so sorry,” she apologized repeatedly until Ivan had to hold her hand to stop her.
“It’s spit. No big deal. No one’s gonna die,” he smiled once again. Elaine thought he should smile more often. It brightens up his face. Meanwhile, her face was on fire.
“Can I treat you for coffee then? As sorry and welcome?”
“I’d love to but I have somewhere to be. Maybe next time,” he said noncommittally.
“Next time then.” She apologized again before racing back home. A loud ‘I’m home’ is on the tip of her tongue but she stopped herself just in time.
Elaine dragged her feet to the sofa and flopped down unceremoniously with her legs hanging on an arm. Tears cascaded down her temples, which progressed into sobs. Her chest felt tight and her breath was constricted.
Earlier, she prayed to God to give her Christian back. She wished that Christian would change his mind and call her, or at least send her a message, saying sorry and that he wants her back.
She was praying but the pain hurt like hell. She asked God why did this have to happen to her, why she had to feel such pain, why she had to feel hopeful for her future for once, only for it to crumble right in front of her.
It was so unfair. She gave it her all but all she got was nothing.
---
It had been a month since the breakup and Elaine was faring better. She haven’t cried herself to sleep for two weeks now and she even had the energy to go out for a walk. It wasn’t much but it was a start. She still thought of her ex-boyfriend from time to time, which was inevitable considering every corner of her apartment reminded her of him, but the pangs were getting less painful. In a way she didn’t know how, she was getting by.
It was a Sunday and she was on her way to the church. A friend, Leslie, welcomed her with a hug.
“You’re looking great, dear.” The shorter female brushed her cheek against Elaine’s and Elaine had to chuckle at her affections.
“Hi, how have you been? I haven’t seen you here lately?”
Leslie beamed at her in delight. “I went on a vacation with Luis to France. Oh, we have to get some coffee later. I have lots of stories to tell you,” she narrated giddily, the smile never wavering off her face.
“How’s Christian? Still sleeping I bet?” Leslie chuckled and Elaine’s eyes twitched. She swallowed a lump in her throat and an awkward silence passed before her friend realized that something was wrong.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
Elaine cleared her throat and forced a smile. “W-we broke up,” she cursed at herself for stuttering. It felt more real every time she had to say it outloud and it doubled the sharp pain that coursed through her.
Leslie looked shocked beyond belief at the news and scrambled to wrap her arms around Elaine again. “I’m so sorry!”
Elaine, who had to fight the tears that were threatening to come out, hugged her back, glad to have someone to comfort her even if it was a month late. “It’s okay. It’s been a month.”
She pulled back and wiped the tears that escaped despite her resistance. “I’m all right,” she forced out a smile. Her friend looked at her worriedly but let it go for now. “All right, let’s have lunch together okay?” Leslie asked, to which Elaine said yes. It had been a while since she had a meal with another person aside from her co-workers and she welcomed the thought now more than ever.
The mass lasted for a little over an hour and Leslie pulled her to a nearby Italian cafe that served great pasta and gelato. Elaine was grateful for the distraction but she could not help but glance at a table for two at a corner. She mentally sighed and erased the memories in her head.
---
Elaine was working on a report when a call came. Not expecting anybody, she looked at her phone quizzically, which registered Leslie’s name. Leslie rarely contacted her through the phone.
; Surprised, she accepted the call and had to brace herself for a joyful Leslie who almost screeched a ‘hello.’
“Hey, what’s up?” Elaine reclined back on her seat and shut her eyes. She could hear her stomach grumbling only to remember that she didn’t eat anything for lunch.
“I know this might be too soon, but it’s been two months and it’s not too soon right?” She said rapidly and Elaine had to sit up straight again and focus on her words to keep up.
“What exactly might be too soon?”
Leslie paused dramatically. Elaine could almost hear her excitement through the receiver.
“Dating.”
“Dating?” Elaine repeated dumbly.
“Yeah, dating. I figure it’s about time you meet new people. What do you think?” Elaine processed everything before saying an alarmed ‘what’ as a reaction.
She sighed before continuing. “Leslie, I know you have the best intentions in mind. But if you still didn’t know, I barely have time to meet new people.”
“But you have the time,” Leslie insisted. “Every Sundays. Don’t you always save your Sundays?”
“I do. But that’s for church and some me time. I don’t feel like going to a party or anything after a mass.”
“Exactly. For church. And forget the me time, you have more than enough of that,” Leslie paused and apologized for the insensitive remark, which Elaine only waved away. Leslie was just telling the truth.
“What I actually wanted to say is that I know this guy, from the church we go to, who you might be interested to meet,” Leslie drawled on. It took a minute before it registered what she was suggesting.
“Are you setting me up on a blind date?” She asked incredulously.
“Uh, yes,” her friend admitted sheepishly.
Elaine rubbed a thumb on a temple. “Do I have a say on this?”
“Not really. I already set up the time and date.”
“Leslie--!”
“I had to! I know you’re gonna say no!”
“Whatever. Just text me the details. I have work to do,” Elaine grumbled. She heard a faint ‘I love you’ before she hung up the phone and she felt a little bad for not saying it back to her dear friend.
---
That night, Elaine turned and tossed on her bed. She couldn’t stop thinking about the blind date and she had bombarded herself with too much questions that only left her more confused and doubtful.
Is it too soon? What if Christian knows about it? What if the guy isn’t what she’s expecting him to be? But then, what exactly are her expectations?
The fact that he goes to her church is a good point, but the thought that she saw it as a good point gnaws at her guilt. It might be ridiculous but she felt guilty for indirectly saying yes to the blind date. It had been two months but thinking of a possibility of a relationship with anyone other than Christian brought a bad taste to her mouth.
---
Elaine pushed the glass door open before a waitress assisted her to her seat. A man was already seated at the table, but she could not see his face yet.
A gasp escaped her lips when the waitress stopped and gestured at their table, making the man look up.
“Elaine?” Ivan said, sounding shell-shocked himself.
“You’re Leslie’s friend?” Elaine asked for good measure. She had not seen her neighbor for weeks now. The last time, they only exchanged brief hellos when they happened to meet while taking out trash.
Ivan stood up and helped her pull her seat back, before returning to his own side.
“And you are Leslie’s friend,” Ivan jokingly deadpanned. Elaine took her seat and began to chuckle. Ivan, amused by the situation, also began to laugh.
“I guess we’ll be having a date today?” He asked with a smile on his face. Elaine hummed in affirmation while smiling from ear to ear.
“How did you meet Leslie?” Elaine asked once their food was served.
“I actually knew Luis first. He was an old friend and he was the one who suggested this place for me to move to,” Ivan explained before taking a bite of the grilled chicken.
Elaine took a sip of water before responding. “Why did you move? Was it for your job?”
The question froze Ivan for a second before he relaxed. Elaine bit her tongue for the question which obviously hit a nerve.
“You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to,” She said softly.
“Sorry,” he offered a timid smile.
“It’s okay,” she smiled before diverting the conversation to a different topic.
It turned out that they have a lot of similar interests than they could have expected. They have the same fascination with the Harry Potter series, the same geeky side when it came to Star Wars, and the same passion when it came to football -- though Elaine loved Man U with a passion while Ivan preferred Chelsea.
Hours later, they found themselves laughing comfortably around each other while they walk together home. They stopped when they reached Elaine’s door and Ivan kept a good distance, to which Elaine was grateful for.
“I really had a lot of fun,” Ivan smiled.
“Me too. I think it’s been ages since I’ve laughed that much,” Elaine gushed.
He put his hands in his pant’s back pockets and Elaine mentally chuckled.
“We should do this again some other time?” It was more of a question rather than a statement.
Elaine let out a deep breath she didn’t know she had been holding and nodded. “Sure.”
---
She threw the frame inside the black plastic bag and flinched at the sound of breaking glass. Next were the t-shirts and boxers that were definitely not hers, followed by other toilet utilities that were never meant for a woman.
It was a day after her blind date and last night, she had the urge to throw away everything that reminded her of Christian. It had been months but she still kept some of his belongings that he left there, silently holding on to the hope that he would come back.
This move did not mean anything but a sign of her trying to move on. She had been meaning to do it for weeks but the date with Ivan was the last push she needed to start working on it. She sniffed and sobbed for the first few minutes but it got better as the plastic bag got fuller.
It was filled with pictures, letters, dried flowers, candy and chocolate wrappers, and almost every single thing that Christian gave her during their relationship, including the bracelet that he gifted to her last Christmas. It took a lot of emotional effort but afterwards, she felt lighter, as if an invisible baggage was thrown away.
The door next to her opened just as she was pulling the plastic bag outside to throw it in the bin. Ivan looked as surprised as she was. He was sporting a shirt paired with loose shorts and running shoes.
“Going for a run at night?” She asked, eyeing his outfit.
Ivan shrugged. “The park’s good enough for some laps.”
Elaine stopped for a second to think before taking a leap of faith. “Mind if I join you?”
--
The night was a bit chilly but fortunately, there was minimal wind.
Elaine had been living in that neighborhood for years but it was the first time that she jogged at the park. She always thought it was full of rowdy teenagers getting drunk or creeps who had nothing better to do with their lives. Ivan laughed at her when she voiced it out.
“This place’s actually good,” He panted, arms swinging as they jogged around the vicinity. “You should just avoid Friday nights because it can be too crowded.”
She looked at him curiously. “How long have you been going here?” She asked, breaths coming short. Ivan slowed his pace a bit.
“Since the first week I moved,” he answers. “It was a bit lonely staying indoors.”
Elaine stopped in her tracks, causing Ivan to stop too.
“I am so sorry for being a very unwelcoming neighbor. I should have made you something and came over to check on you.”
Ivan rested a
hand on her head and ruffled her hair. Elaine felt like pulling away but didn’t, surprised at how large his hand felt. “No need to feel sorry. I know it wasn’t your best day then,” he continued jogging and she followed automatically.
She gulped as she remembered that day. It was definitely one of her most miserable days. “Yeah. My boyfriend just broke up with me a few days before that,” she chuckled dryly. This time, it was Ivan who stopped first.
“I am so sorry to hear that.”
She pursed her lips in thought. “It’s okay. I’ve been doing great. It wasn’t an excuse to not welcome you,” she patted his shoulder, signaling him to continue moving.
Time On Fire Page 3
