“There’s no myth not founded in truth.
It’s in your blood.
The circle will complete when you spill blood to love.”
I wish I could find my book. I am still torn up over that, too. What a mess I have made of things! Momma leaves for a short while and I destroy just about all her hard work and initiate a fight with her brother. I get a clan girl killed and I am responsible for a whole caravan’s…
The thought bring tears to my eyes, so I focus on Raina’s safety instead.
It was hard to convince Raina to move into Mother’s house, but when she learned she could stay in my old room, she seemed very pleased with the whole idea. I worry about the child’s perception of me, as well as the high expectations. I also tell Raina to use the Hidden Carmina in her bathwater and hair. It was a comical moment to see her face pull at the strong scent and for a moment, a glimpse of the old John pokes around the kitchen door.
“Ooooh, Carmina caught Liam with that scent!”
Raina giggles, instantly more at ease about the oils. In that moment, she also attaches herself to John in the kitchen. In the end, John takes Raina to my old room, keeping her wrapped up in his big bulk and speeding faster than lightning.
I cuddle with Liam in front of the fire afterwards, our first real alone time.
“What on earth am I going to do?”
Liam rests his chin on my head before he answers.
“We start over. At the beginning.”
I feel frustration knocking again. Where is the beginning? We’ve not seen or heard from Jackie in a while and that makes me more nervous. Uncle Will has been with his son’s clan along with Lady E, and I feel bitter about Darious’ involvement. How could he even think to accuse me? He knows that the whole Ancient house would know if I lied. Or … does he? Has the Lynx told him about my relationship with the Houses on that level? Has Momma? I should check.
I am told time will heal all wounds. I’m not so sure about that anymore. John has taken to caring for Raina over the past few days. It is like she attached herself to his hip. There is something surreal in seeing the blonde girl with the wolf running around the courtyard; so much for keeping Raina a secret. I sit and watch them play and feel the smile creeping up on me. Momma has announced that she is going to make an official offer of adoption to Raina. I think the girl is fitting into clan life much easier than any of us expected. She has even taken up chores and is helping with the cooking. Raina has an exceptional ability to create food that is different and oddly combined, but ridiculously scrumptious. She is thriving, even under the threat of whatever is headed our way.
I have decided it is time to go pay my Uncle a visit. Raina insists on going with me, no matter how much we try to reason with her.
“I know a short-cut,” she states in a bland manner.
“Raina? What do you mean?” John asks.
“Well – I do, but I’m not telling unless you take me with.”
Finally, I understand the motion Liam makes when I am testing his patience: I rub over my face and feel my hand rests on the nape of my neck. “Raina, we can drive…”
“No, this is better, and shorter, and… You’ll see.”
There was no reasoning after that. It would be easy to extract the information from her, but that would damage the relationships we’re encouraging Raina to form. In the end, we agree to let her join us on the condition that she does not reveal herself once we reach the border and she will stay with John until Liam and I return.
We set out just after breakfast towards the border, under Raina’s direction. There are so many scents mixed in the air. John recognizes some of them as being Gello’Des, and we become wary all the more.
“Raina, you came this way?”
“Yes, you will see,” is all she says when we reach a thick bramble part of the border. There is a familiar feeling to the space I find myself in and it’s Liam that comments on it first.
“This is very much like the Lynxes’ hidden entrance to their dwelling.”
When we reach the small stream, Raina bounces ahead but John was quick to cut her off, “Raina, careful. Some of the scents are fresh.”
“I know, but they’re not here. They mainly come at night.”
I look at Liam. Even John seems as surprised as we are.
“How do you know this, Raina?”
“Oh. I watched them. I was hungry and…” She looks guilty.
“I didn’t want to steal from them, but Roland always says finders keepers. They keep human girls in there.”
I feel my body tense and clench my teeth. Raina must have noticed, because she quickly adds: “I didn’t take from them. The rats were good enough.”
When we cross the stream and tread along it through a small pouring waterfall, the chill sets into my bones. No wonder the scouts lost their scent! The water washes it away, sealing the entrance well enough to confuse the scents. The space behind the streaming water is a long, thin slit; easily missed. It is big enough to squeeze through sideways but low and thus you’d have to lean through the opening. It opens up into a small cavern that spirals downwards. On the other side of the entrance we use is another opening but much smaller; you need to slide out from it on your stomach and elbows. The cavern is lit up with oil lamps spaced evenly to create a dim light.
Once we manage to get inside, the cave is an awful concoction of putrid smells. Death, rot, blood and flesh hang around everywhere, mixed in with unfamiliar musky scents.
“There’re at least 30 different scents here!” Liam exclaims, his body tense. “None of them are new or present. And your Uncle’s along with Jackie’s… I’d wager about a day old.”
I look at John who confirms.
I slide ahead towards the downward slope, focusing on the blood smell coming from there. It is human blood. Raina takes hold of my arm and the look on her face is fearful.
“Mina, it is not pretty back there. I didn’t…”
“Stay here with John,” I speak evenly, though I feel anything but.
I take a deep breath, trying not to taste the vile air all at once. There are scuffling sounds and I steel myself against the aforementioned rats. When I get back upright and my eyes adjust to the faint light filtering in from behind Liam and I, I had to put my hand over my mouth to stop the cries that jerk loose. I feel the bile pushing into my throat. The shock is two-fold. Some of the girls are dead, their bodies piled in a corner. Rats aren’t even trying to run away when I go closer. Some of the girls are eating from the rotting flesh of the dead ones; others lie in the pile as if to cuddle up to them.
I look at Liam with a manic anger.
“They all look…” I cannot finish.
“Like you. Yes.”
One redhead after another, seven of them alive. Their skins are pale, their faces sunken in and black circles around their eyes. They look dirty, drained and their bodies are covered in sores and marks. Most of them are half naked and bruised.
Liam’s jaw clenches. I step forward to the nearest girl who gives me a breathtakingly beautiful smile, as if she’s proud to be here and happy to see me!
“She serves,” and holds her shaky arm out.
When I get close enough to put my hand to her chest, there was no denying it. These girls are here of their own free will – but they have lost their will to be or know anything else. I share the memory of them coming here with John who lets out an audible growl upstairs.
“Liam…”
“This is the reality of what we are, Carmina.” His voice is cold and curt. I feel like I may have upset him by feeling so much turmoil over the scene in front of me.
***
Liam watches and feels his instincts react. He cannot deny his own nature. They are human, and there’s blood - some of it fresh. It is vile and tempting at the same time. They all look, to some degree, like Carmina. They were selected in this manner. But why? Why would the Gello’Des make such a selection?
Liam looks at Carmina and tries to
mask his thoughts, but it is too late. It would be merciful for them. It won’t even take much. His thirst would be satisfied for a while longer which would make being near his Rockflower more tolerable. The look on Carmina’s face stops his thoughts in their tracks.
***
“Liam no! Get out! Get out.” The hiss was not intended but there is no manner in which I can do this calmly. I follow Liam’s look to the girl with the outstretched arm and feel his thoughts and desires as clear I can hear my own heartbeat. I push her hand away and she moves back to the pack that is tearing morsels off the bones.
“Bro, we have to get out of here.” John stresses to Liam, having picked up on the thread of his mind too.
“It would be merciful to…”
“No. Vixen won’t forgive us. Bro, come back here. Let her deal with this. We can’t.”
I look at Liam and use every bit of anger and sadness to push him out of the way.
“Take Raina outside, on my Uncle’s land, find a place to stay with her. I’ll… find you.” I command them both. My disgust rises up along with the ghastly smells surrounding me.
“I’m sorry Carmina,” Liam whispers and leaves the room. I crouch and watch the girls. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with them! They cannot be rescued anymore.
Another girl steps closer to me, looking healthier, with clarity in her eyes when she circles me.
“You come to serve too?” She asks, and the shock of her words ripple through me. She is chewing on a decaying finger noisily. I realize she why she thinks that, as I look like them.
“Yes.”
“Where is your blood-other?” I have no idea what she’s talking about but assume it has something to do with the person who brought you or drinks from you.
“He… he just left.” I point to where Liam went.
“He’s too old. You are lying.” She hisses at me and the others lift out of their daze to join her.
“I– He is original, from Russia. He–he trades.” I am making this up as I go along, trying to read their minds but it is so jumbled in there. The dominant, coherent thoughts are the ones that come from her mouth.
“You are fresh. They will kill us now.” I don’t know if she is lamenting or hopeful.
Everything is confusing to me at the moment. I feel like I’m not here, as if this is not happening and I’m watching a horror movie. This does not even feel like one of my personally branded nightmares. I feel my head swimming. My stomach is turning and it takes so much control to stop the heaving that threatens to dunk me under.
“You should eat, to stay strong.” I advise her and that puts them all back at ease. Food is their main concern, not death. When the girls are all back around the decaying pile, quieting and settling down, I come to a decision.
Trying to rescue these girls is futile. They are too far gone, mentally, and they’d end up being killed by the feeders even if they do recover. They have knowledge that is off-limits. I hate myself for what I am about to do, but the alternative would serve to make me hate myself, and the man I love, even more.
I find my hunting knife in my boot and clasping it firmly in my hand, I coil my muscles, plot my route and move among the girls like a ghost. It was quick and hopefully painless. They went down fast and without a fight, without noticing their companions either. The blood on my hands is accusing me all over again. This time, I am the murderer.
I shuffle to the front room and gather the burning oil lamps in a hurried distortion. It takes hardly any effort at all to pile the girls into a corner, even if they are deadweight. Finding as much dry wood and leaves from around as I can, hoping it would be enough to burn, I stuff it between, and around the bodies.
I throw up so many times, soon feeling weak. Building a stone ridge around the bodies, I smash one oil lamp and another and another and another until the air is filled with the smell of burning flesh, hair, oil and clothing. I throw my own jacket into the mix after wiping my blade on it, I curse when some of the flames dies out. I take my shirt off to fan the fire back, putting it back on once I am sure everything will burn in time.
Going back the way we came, I rinse myself in the shockingly cold water, watching as smoke spirals out from behind the waterfall. I don’t want to go through the tunnel again but I have no choice, as it is the shortest way to my Uncle’s estate. I blitz through to the other side, trying to steady myself when I get there, coughing up the appalling smoke that fills the back of my throat with every vile taste I have ever endured.
“It’s done.”
“Vixen, thank you.” John offers but I am not ready to hear it.
How can John thank me for killing? I don’t answer him; instead, I start walking towards my Uncle’s home. I am beyond angry. He has a lot to answer for.
***
Liam catches up with Carmina and clasps a big hand firmly around her arm. He can feel the anger inside her, as it fills up his entire body too. Holding her back significantly, he slows her down. She needs to clear her head before she confronts her Uncle or she could have another claim against her. She would never forgive herself.
“Mina… slow down.”
“I don’t want to,” comes the short, angry reply.
“Mina… my mother and father are there, they know already.”
“I don’t care.”
“Carmina!” Liam pulls her firmly against him. “Stop!”
Carmina flies into a fit of rage. Her small fists hit against his chest, her legs kicking and the yowling from her lungs burns into his memory. She has never looked more beautiful to Liam. Her wild red hair unruly against her pale face bringing out the intense green colors of her hazel eyes. Liam has his work cut out for him, as the assault against his body is relentless. He allows a little smile to himself at the thought of the honey badger. She is more than that. Right now, this volcano goddess in his arms is erupting and he cannot deny – he would rather die than live without this woman.
When Carmina’s energy runs down, Liam put her down but keep his hold on her arm, lifting her face to his. He plants a soft but firm kiss on her lips while holding her chin between his fingers. Lifting his head, he speaks against her feverish lips.
“Much better. Let them deal with this, my Rockflower… Let’s go home. There is nothing for you to do here anymore.”
The view of the wild redheaded girl and the big black and red pelted wolf is something to behold. Esmeriska and Will stand hand in hand, watching the pair with pride.
“They are good for one another,” Will says to his wife. She responds by nestling against his shoulder.
***
I am so tired when I get home but I first have to wash the grime and dirt from my body. I scrub myself several times, feeling the pain and guilt as the skin comes off my hands.
“Rockflower… stop that and come rest. Please.”
I emerge from the bathroom wearing one of Liam’s shirts. I listen to the raindrops beating against the rooftop sitting in the bay-window. Liam brings me food and while I don’t feel like eating, the storm brewing behind his eyes warns me not to argue with him.
He slides in behind me and holds me against his body.
“I’m sorry, Carmina. I couldn’t help today.” He whispers in my hair.
“I would have been sorrier if you did.” I reply sincerely, and rest my head against his chest while the rain sings a lullaby.
More to Come
We wake up with Momma knocking on the cottage door. Slowly, I feel my body protest against the movement. I have slept in Liam’s arms on the bay-seat, but the previous day’s run that is kicking my muscles.
“It’s open, Momma.” I call, not having enough strength to get up and open the door myself. Liam is chuckling at me and I elbow him, which sets off the painful kicks again.
Momma smiles at me, walking to the kitchen with a breakfast basket. She speaks to me from there as if it is the most natural thing in the world.
“Oh, it looks so nice with the re-vamp.” I hear her open t
he fridge door and sigh. “Your fridge is empty. No wonder John is moody.”
“Momma, you didn’t come to lecture me about my fridge. And John knows where the hall is!”
“No, I have not.” My mother emerges with a tray packed with food and two cups, sitting herself down on the floor by the fireplace. She waves us closer.
“Come on, breakfast doesn’t wait on you.”
I groan as I move and even Momma lets out a breathy laugh. My mother takes a bite of the toast, her eyes on Liam while she’s chewing. I hate it when they do that. I know she’s talking to him and he won’t answer unless he has to.
“Use your words, Momma,” I chastise her and she smirks at me.
“Your Uncle is missing.” She speaks.
I feel my body tense, I feel the nausea return. “When…?”
“He went to town yesterday morning, early – before you arrived there. He’s not been back. The Ancients are all searching for him.”
“Do you think he knows?” I ask.
“Truth be told, my dear heart, we don’t know. Though searching his room, there is no indication that he wasn’t coming back. Nothing was taken, and Esmeriska would know.”
“Do you think…?”
“I’m not thinking anything right now, Carmina. I came to bring you breakfast and tell you myself. Also, it’s your birthday in a week. Spring day is upon us. Lilly, Jarrod and J.J. will be joining us.”
Hidden Carmina Page 36
