by Jean Murray
“What the hell is wrong with all you?” Kit glared at Bomani, the only convenient testosterone laden target in the room.
Bomani raised his palms. “I am innocent.”
“Bullshit.” Siya coughed and then smiled.
“What?” Bomani beseeched his mate.
Siya laughed and covered Bomani’s ears. “They are all the same and do not lessen with age.”
Kendra snickered. “It takes some getting used to.”
“I’ll never get used to it,” Kit growled. “Stubborn. Chauvinistic. Control Freaks—all of you.”
“Okay, you got me on stubborn.” Bomani hefted a load of books in his arms. “I will be in the vault until it’s safe to come out.”
“Sorry.” Kit sighed and scrubbed her fingers against her scalp.
Bomani nodded and headed towards the back of the library.
“Are you okay?” Kendra asked.
“No, I’m not.” She was crashing hard, she knew it. The pressure to transition. Her mother’s plea to help their father. Her visions of war. Hell, even her body was revolting against her. Her libido in overdrive, but not for her usual male fair. No, she was having dreams of a hulking brood male. Sleeping in his bed hadn’t helped either as his scent taunted her. Maybe that was why she was even more extraordinarily bitchy and on edge.
Everything about Kamen infuriated her. And, she wanted to keep it that way, as like hell was she giving into her mother wishes. Libido be damned. It was for everyone’s protection, right?
“Come have a seat, Kit. We could use the help.” Kendra patted the seat next to her.
“I can’t. I need to be doing something.” Kit paced the length of the table and back. Maybe a quick drink at the warrior tavern would chill her nerves. “I’ll be back in a bit.” She turned and walked to the door.
“I know what you’re thinking, but not a good idea,” Siya called out.
Kit closed the door and stared down the beach to the warrior village. Siya was probably right, but right now she needed an outlet. The beach along the river may be off limits, but he never said the bar was. No matter, she would be back before her chaperone ever got home from his mission.
Chapter Seven
At lightning speed, Kamen shifted through the buildings of the windy city following Asar’s trail. Winter had taken hold of the region, despite the bright shine of the sun. Nothing more than dark mist, the ray’s still burned him.
As he suspected the scent of death grew stronger. Visualizing the target he shot through the threads connecting the realms. He appeared in the building just behind Asar and Lilly.
His brother turned and frowned at him. “Brother?”
Kamen slowed, sensing Asar’s irritation. Either with him or the empty warehouse, he was not sure.
Bakari jogged down the steps to the right. “They cleared out. Not long ago either.”
Asar refocused on his son. “They knew we were coming.”
“I don’t know how they could,” Lilly said, circling around the trough filled with blood. Chains to suspend their human sacrifices now sat empty and shifted above the collection bin. “Damn it, they were here. The stench is still warm.”
“I will track them,” Kamen said and moved towards the door.
Asar planted a hand on Kamen’s chest. “Let the warriors do the job. I want you back in Aaru.”
Kamen narrowed his eyes on his brother. “The trail will dissipate quickly. I am the best tracker you have.”
“That may be, brother, but you are in no condition to track demons in daylight.”
“I will have them in less than ten minutes. We are wasting time here.”
Asar pushed him back to the corner and lowered his voice. “We both know you have been holding things together by a thread lately. And, do not try to bullshit me. The feedings are taking a toll on your control. I cannot have you shifting in the middle of Chicago. Not even I will risk that.”
Kamen grabbed his brother by the shirt. “I am fine.”
“Are you?” Asar stared down at his shirt bunched in Kamen’s fists. “Go back to Aaru. Rest. I will call you when I need your help.”
The room fell silent. Staring over Asar’s shoulder Kamen met Lilly’s wide eyes, smelled her fear. His intentions had been honorable, but he had crossed the line with his brother. Disobeyed his orders.
Kamen released Asar. “I am sorry. That will not happen again.”
“We will talk when I get back.”
Ashamed he had broken his promise to always serve Asar, Kamen nodded. Today was probably the worst day thus far. He dematerialized back to Aaru and trudged the hallway back to his room. He paused at Kit’s door but did not sense her energy on the other side. He turned away, intent on going into the chamber and riding this out.
“She went where?” Bomani’s voice carried down the hall. “To do what?”
“What else do you do at the tavern? The woman’s walking a tight rope,” Siya replied. “We need to go get her out of there.”
Kamen stopped, realizing of whom they were speaking. Kit knew damn well what she was doing—getting back at him for leaving her in Aaru. But, going to the warrior tavern was pushing too far. No less than a brothel, the dark warriors were far from gentlemen. They would certainly take advantage of Kamen’s absence.
Driven by sexual images of Kit and warriors, Kamen dematerialized and reappeared outside of the red arched door. The sentry standing watch jumped, startled by Kamen’s arrival.
Bomani appeared between him in the door. “Uncle, let me take care of this.”
Kit’s laughter carried through the thick wooden door and ignited Kamen’s anger further. “Get out of my way.” Kamen shoved Bomani aside and yanked open the door. Warriors scattered in his wake. Kamen targeted the warrior licking salt off Kit’s neck and then drinking the shot she held to his lips.
A low growl rumbled through his chest, enough the warrior jerked upright and retreated into the corner. “Everyone out!”
Kit raised the bottle. “The party was just getting started. Stop being a buzz-kill and have a drink with me.”
He was past having a drink, not that it would cool his temper. “What in duat do you think you are doing?”
“Having fun until you arrived.” Kit shoved past him, steering in a wavy line to the bar. “And, don’t give me that shit, that I don’t belong here. I’m not your wife or girlfriend so shove off.”
The sharp inhales from the staring warriors was audible in the room. Several had the sense enough to back out the door, including the bartender behind the bar.
“Time to go boys,” Bomani said, expediting the evacuation.
“I’m so sick of this shit,” Kit said and leaned over the bar to grab another bottle of honey colored liquor. Sliding back to her feet, she leaned against the ledge. “Don’t give that evil stare, if you’d seen what I have, you’d drink too.” She closed her eyes and wavered.
Kamen grabbed her shoulders before she toppled over. “Give me the damn bottle,” he growled, jerking it from her grasp. He gave it to Bomani. “Time to go home.”
“No.” Kit jerked away from him and ran for the door, scattering several chairs in her wake.
“Uncle, perhaps—”
“Don’t.” Kamen held up his hand, silencing Bomani. This was going to end tonight. He charged out of the tavern, following the sickly sweet smell of liquor to the beach. He caught up to her in less than a few seconds.
“You don’t need my help, I sure as hell don’t need yours.” Kit stumbled forward and landed on her knees.
Kamen stood over her, realizing it was pointless to argue the fact that he did it to protect her. He grabbed her under the arm and hoisted her to her feet.
“Stay away from me,” she yelled but stumbled into his chest.
“Let me take you back to your room. You can sleep it off.”
Her wide horrified eyes looked up at him. “No, I can’t sleep.” She backed away. “I don’t want to sleep.”
Sensing he
r fear, Kamen’s fury extinguished. “What is going on, Kit?” Kamen pursued her slow uneven strides. Snagging her elbow, he turned her around.
Tears ran rivers down her cheeks.
Brushing his thumb across her jaw, he chased the drops of sorrow. He hated seeing her in pain but was at a loss on how to comfort her. He lived a solitary life for a reason. Whatever compassion he had was lost long ago. “You are not well. I need to get you back to the palace.”
“I don’t want to go back.” She wavered on her feet and grabbed his shirt to steady herself.
“Talk to me, Kitten,” he whispered and continued to stroke her cheek. She was unable to mask her sorrow with her anger as she normally did. It was open and raw.
She stared at him with swollen red eyes. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what?” he asked, alarmed by her statement.
“Everything. I’m tired of fighting. My mother. This war.” She inhaled a deep staggered breath. “You.” She blinked as more tears fell.
He cupped her face, hating he was a source of her agony. The tension between them had tightened like an over torched spring. He tired of it too. “I will ask Asar to reassign you a new bodyguard.”
Despite her tears, she laughed and shook her head. “I don’t trust anyone else.” Her hand flattened on his chest and she met his stare. “I don’t want anyone else.”
Kamen looked away, feeling the weight of her statement. Motivated by his own wishful thinking? Certainly she could not feel that way about him. “Kit, I—”
“Can’t? Shouldn’t?” She leaned her forehead on his chest. Her hands slid down his sides to his waist and slipped under his shirt.
There were so many reason he could not touch her. In her right mind she would not want this. Want him. Yet, his fingers trailed the curve of her neck under the fall of black hair. Her pulse beat rapidly against his thumb. So real. So alive. So unlike himself.
Did she know what she was playing with? Did he? A woman’s touch had been absent from his life for so long, he did not know how to process his arousal. The hunger.
No matter how good it felt, it was not right. The alcohol was inhibiting her normal restraint. He clamped down on his physical reaction. “You are drunk, Kit,” he said on a strangled breath as her palms explored his chest and abdomen.
“Yes, I am.” She pulled him down to her lips.
The minute her lips touched, pain sliced down his back. He ignored it in favor of drinking from the lips that had taunted him for so many months. The sweet liquor flavor of her tongue met his. Energy slammed into him intertwining with the beast’s. The Devourer reached out to her.
Kamen grabbed Kit’s biceps and pushed her way at arm’s length, breaking the connection.
“Holy shit.” She covered her lips with her fingers and stared wide-eyed at him.
“This cannot happen,” he said roughly and released her. He put distance between them in the hopes it would lessen his want of her.
It didn’t work.
“We are done here,” Kamen growled and turned to walk down the beach towards the palace. It would easier to dematerialize but would require him touching her and that he could not have. The temptation to restart their kiss would be too much to resist.
She nodded and walked down the beach beside him.
How many hours had they spent in silence together, but now it was excruciating. The tension returning ten-fold.
She slowed and placed her hand over her stomach. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
Kamen lifted her up into his arms and cradled her against his chest. So feather light, her ribs were pronounced beneath his fingertips. She was not well. “I will get you back to your room.”
She sagged against him as silent tears resumed their path down her cheeks.
He slowly walked down the beach, savoring the moment. Knowing he would never dare touch her again. There was a good chance she would never remember what had transpired between them. It was best she didn’t.
Entering the palace, he headed to her room. Her breathing slowed against his chest as she drifted off to sleep. He lowered her on the white silk sheets and pulled up the duvet.
He brushed back the stray hairs that had stuck to her wet cheek. Leaning into his palm, she moaned softly. Warmth flushed through him, and along with it, the ache in his spine, a constant reminder he could not go there, lest he put her soul at risk.
Kit needed help, but not from him. He would only end up hurting her as he had his family so long ago. In the morning he would ask Asar to relieve him of his duties.
“Be well, Kitten.”
He dematerialized, going to the one place he belonged. The cold air of the chamber chilled the heat against his skin but did not cool the boiling fury inside him. Engaging the lock, his hands trembled as the last of his restraint left him.
Pain contorting his spine, Kamen dropped to his knees. He arched back and roared. No matter how hard he fought to remain in control, the beast owned his soul.
For eternity.
Chapter Eight
“We need to talk about last night,” Asar said, directing Kamen to the closest chair.
Kamen ignored the invitation and remained standing.
“Suit yourself.” His brother stared at him a moment and then sat down in his gold chair behind the desk. “Listen, I did not mean to dismiss you so quickly, but having you in a room full of siravants would certainly set you off. I know you are struggling lately, and you need to realize your limits.”
“Yes,” Kamen agreed. “That is why I must request that you remove me from Kit’s detail.”
Asar rubbed his jaw. “Is this because of Kit’s visit to the tavern last night? Bomani briefed me on what happened, although he was vague on the details after she ran out. Information I am sure you can fill in for me.”
“I did not hurt anyone, if that is what you are implying. I returned her safely to her room.”
“Then why do you want to be relieved of your duties?” Asar leaned forward and rested his elbows on his desk.
Kamen looked away. “I think it would be best if I stayed away from Kit.”
“You have feelings for her.”
“She is unhappy with me being her bodyguard. As am I,” Kamen replied instead of acknowledging Asar’s statement. He gripped the ache settling into the base of his neck. “The tension is putting a strain on my control.”
His brother measured him with his eyes. “I need you to hold it together, Kamen. We have limited resources and few I trust enough to protect her properly.”
“Bakari would be a good match.”
“You will continue your duties as assigned. You and Kit need to work out your differences for all our sakes.”
Kamen paced the space in front of Asar’s desk. “She is not well. She is not eating or sleeping.”
“What do you think is wrong?”
“I assume she is feeling pressured.”
“To transition?”
“I suppose. Her behavior has gotten more erratic. I found her by the gates, past the barrier. She claims to have fallen in the water, but I could smell her fear.”
Asar rose to his feet. “When?”
“Two days ago after our briefing.”
“And you are just telling me this now?”
Kamen scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I thought she was just up to her old tricks, finding new ways to irritate me.”
“She was past the protective barrier?”
“Yes.” Kamen turned to face his brother. “Something happened, but she refused to tell me. She was scared.”
“What do you think happened?”
“I think she was looking for a way out.”
“Out? Of Aaru?”
“She had come to me that morning, asking to be taken to the base to receive the weapons’ shipment. When I refused, she became very angry. When I accused her of lying…well, I am sure you can guess what happened next.”
Asar steamed out a breath. “She knew it was coming
in a day earlier than expected?”
“Possibly.”
“Lilly and Kendra’s gifts were present before their transition, just muted. Do you think we are seeing some of Kit’s talents?”
Kamen hoped not. The fact she could breach the barrier without even knowing it was a dangerous prospect. Duat was unbreachable for man or god. Only the dead could pass.
“You think she is hiding something?”
“Yes. What—I do not know.”
“I will speak with Lilly to see what she can find out.” Asar regarded him a long moment. "Have you told Kit how you feel?"
“What is there to tell?”
“Have you told her?” Asar asked again.
Kamen stared out the veranda to the flowing river beyond. Tell her? He barely could carry on a conversation, let alone get in touch with his feelings. The tension between him and Kit did not lend well to talking anyway, just arguing. The moment on the beach being the only exception. “No, and she will never know.”
“You will let her transition by another?” Asar stared at him wide-eyed.
Anger burned through Kamen’s veins at the thought. Yet, he had to face the truth—she would be better off with another. “It is her choice.”
“And, what if she chooses you?”
Last night’s kiss was a momentary lapse of judgment on her part. She did not want to transition, she had made that abundantly clear to all. Things would return back to normal when she sobered up. “She won’t.”
“I would not be so certain.”
“I won’t.” Kamen growled, becoming more uncomfortable with the conversation.
“Why?”
“Because I cannot,” Kamen snapped. The reason clawed beneath his chest and in his veins.
“Bullshit, you of all people deserve to be happy. You have long since paid your debt to me. Stop making excuses and claim the damn woman.”
“I cannot very well do that, can I?” Kamen rubbed his aching head. The urge to claim Kit was not the problem, in fact it was all too consuming when she was around. From the first damn encounter. Ever since, his control was faltering. It took centuries to become master over the beast, and Kit unraveled his control in less than six months. He barely made it here to Asar’s office. There was only one way to keep Kit safe from him.
