by Jean Murray
“Kamen never stopped looking for you.”
Kit turned away as the tears slid down her cheeks. If not for Kamen, she would be in Apep’s dungeon. Not that his efforts would do much good in her case. The damage had been done by the siravant. It was just a matter of time, and her dream would come true.
“Asar believes there is a chance we can stop the infection from spreading.” Lilly opened a folded parchment and held it out to Kit.
Infection? Is that what they were calling it? Kit had heard Siya’s stories about the ancient war with Apep. The Dark Lord had used the siravants on the battlefield to taint the gods’ souls. The sickness had spread until none of the souls remained, nothing to salvage. Siya had kill most to end their suffering. Those who survived were nothing but an empty shell.
“Let me guess,” Kit stared at the paper in her sister’s hand. “It involves me transitioning.”
“Yes. Asar has chosen a list of gods who may be best suited for your condition. It’s something I think you need to consider.”
Kit’s gaze drifted to their mother standing in the doorway. “How am I not surprised? This is what you wanted, Mother. Well, you won—are you happy now?”
“Kit.” Lilly gasped in surprise. “Mother would never.” Lilly turned to the Mother Goddess. “Tell her.”
The Mother Goddess looked away and tucked her hands into her robe. Lilly’s face flattened.
“It doesn’t matter.” Kit stalked past Lilly, knocking the parchment out her sister’s hand. The paper floated to the floor along with Kit’s options. Anger replaced Kit’s self-pity. Her mother may not have orchestrated her kidnapping but damn if she didn’t foresee it.
Lilly scampered to pick up the list and scurried after Kit. “Kit, you can’t be serious about refusing this. We are talking about your life here. Are you really that stubborn?”
Apparently, she was. Kit wandered over to Kendra who was feverously reading a passage in the stinky old text. “Please tell me you have found something.”
Kendra looked up with swollen red eyes. Dried tears stained her cheeks. “Nothing yet.”
Reading the truth in Kendra’s eyes, Kit’s heart sank. The odds were stacked against her. She hated herself for having to put Kendra through hell and back for her.
“It’s just sex.” Lilly’s exasperated voice echoed in the bed chamber.
Kit turned on her heel and confronted her sister. “And I’m a whore, so it should be easy for a girl like me?” It was such a catty thing to say, but Kit couldn’t seem to help herself. She hated being backed into a corner with no choice.
Her sister’s face flushed red. “That’s not what I meant.”
“It was, and we both know it.”
“Why is transitioning such an issue? Especially, when it may save your life,” Lilly begged.
Kit met her mother’s gaze. Should she scream out and tell them they were all going to die? Take whatever hope they had in exchange of getting them off her back. Use it to hurt her mother?
Lilly and Kendra were her life. Her sisters had finally found happiness and love. Kit would protect them from the truth as long as she had breath in her body. Or, a soul for that matter.
“I need some time alone to think about it.” She snatched the list from Lilly and threw it on the bed then stared at Lilly, willing her away. When her sisters failed to move, Kit sighed. “I’ll come find you when I’ve made my decision.”
Lilly nodded and motioned Kendra to the door. The Mother Goddess hung behind and waited for her sisters to exit.
“You have made the right decision.”
“If I agree to this at all, let me be clear. It will not be for you, Dad or this god damn war. It will be for them. Not that it will change a thing,” Kit growled under her breath and turned her back on her mother.
“You have no faith, Katherine.”
“Faith in what exactly?” Kit asked out loud, not really caring about the answer.
“That love can conquer all.”
“Condemning our father is what you call love,” Kit huffed, not bothering to give her mother a second glance.
“There is so much you have yet to understand about love. I have faith your father and I will meet again.”
“Yeah, that’s what they all say.” And then the ax comes crashing down, and someone is left to suffer alone.
Her mother sighed. “Is there no one you have loved?”
Her father. Her sisters.
Kamen.
She closed her eyes and remembered their kiss on the boat. Passion that melted her insides, overwhelmed her normal defenses and cracked the ice in her heart. When Kamen pulled away, she was crushed. He couldn’t get away from her quick enough.
She had given him a million reasons not to like her, now she was tainted. Not much of a sales sign on her door as of late.
“No one you would go to Duat and back for?”
Kit turned to face the Mother Goddess, but the room was empty with only the lingering scent of lilies.
Alone, she stared at the list. Kamen had gone to Duat and back for her. The question was, was it just his sense of duty?
She flopped back on the bed, scattering the pillows in her wake. Grabbing the nearest one, she pressed it to her face and screamed until there was no breath left in her lungs. Furious, she hurled it across the room. She grabbed the next one but stalled mid-swing. Instead of a pillow, a lumpy stuffed animal with a missing eye stared back at her. Sitting up, she clenched her childhood teddy bear.
“Cyclops, how the hell did you end up here?” It had to have been hidden beneath the pillows.
Kamen.
How could one god be so annoyingly stoic, over protective and sensitive all at the same time? Damn him. More tears slid out of her eyes. She rubbed the soft stuffing of the bear and pressed it to her face. None of the Underworld gods had scents, except one. She had not noticed until she kissed him. Kamen’s mix of spice and musk dusted the bear’s worn body.
If she was going to do this, there was only one god she trusted with her life.
She scrambled across the bed and stretched to reach the paper on the floor. Half hanging off the bed, she ran her fingers down the jumbled list of hieroglyphics. She searched for the symbols of a falcon and crescent moon.
Of all the gods she wanted to see on the list, his symbols were nowhere to be found.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kamen had willed the beast to remain in control to stop the torturous thoughts battering his head. It had released him much too soon. Now he lay on his back in agony, finding no comfort or respite. Unable to do anything else, he stared at the spell etched into the black stone of the chamber. An identical verse was carved in a circular arch above his bed in the other room.
Inpu and Nebt had created it the day of his sentencing. The priest had told him it was a protection spell to ease his pain and grant Kamen control over the beast. Foolishness, he thought at the time. But as the days led to months, months to years, years to centuries, he spent more time in his room than in the chamber and then the palace. His world grew, slowly. Asar’s acceptance of him had allowed him a life beyond these walls.
A lot had changed since those days. Nebt had betrayed Inpu and the spell was losing its effectiveness. Through gritted teeth Kamen rolled onto his side and pushed up, irritated the beast failed to answer his call after all it did to fight its way out.
He could not find the strength to do what Asar had asked—be by Kit’s side. How could he when the very thing growing within her soul would tempt the beast? He contemplated lying back down on the cold stone, but a part of him would not let her go that easily.
He forced his legs up the stairs and quickly bathed. Searching for an answer to end his misery, he stared at the hieroglyphics above the bed. He could not afford for the spell to fail him. Not now that Kit’s life was at risk.
He had no doubts Kendra was doing her best to find a cure, but she was novice. There was only one other person who had intimate knowledge of the anci
ent texts and Egyptian Pantheon history. Someone who was old enough to have been part of the opposition that defeated Apep.
The problem—Inpu was in his own dark chasm after Nebt’s betrayal. The likelihood he was in any condition to assist was pretty slim.
But then again, Kamen had a way of making people talk. Although he did not like the idea of making the priest suffer more, Kit’s life and future was more important than his own. Before he could think better of it, Kamen dematerialized and reappeared outside Inpu’s room.
The door exhaled a cold stale breath when he opened it. He ignored the warning spell etched in blood on the entrance and stepped into the former happy couple’s quarters. The room’s fireplace sat empty with not even an orange ember glowing. The smell of old and new blood flared Kamen’s senses.
Despite the darkness, he could see the destruction reeked upon the room. The furniture remains lay in heaps upon the floor. Shredded clothes and wall paintings littered the entire space of the room. Rage, pure and simple rage.
Unaffected, Kamen strode in, scanning for the flicker of Inpu’s soul. He caught the light of energy, although dim, in the far corner.
“Can you not read?” Inpu hissed.
Kamen frowned. Inpu had always treated him decently. The priest’s normal soft voice had been replaced by bitterness and fury to match the décor of the room. “I can read perfectly well.”
“Get out.”
Despite Inpu having a plethora of spells to make Kamen’s day very painful, he stood his ground. “I would not disturb you if it was not important.”
Inpu pushed up off the floor. The scent of fresh blood grew stronger. Kamen focused on the large wounds on Inpu’s arms and thighs. Wounds that should have been healed by now.
A sharp white bolt of light shot out and hit Kamen in the chest and knocked him to the ground. Growling, Kamen rose to his feet. “I would suggest you not do that again.” Another bolt ricocheted off the wall aimed straight for his head. Kamen shot forward and grabbed Inpu by the neck and shook him. “Stop that.”
“Or what? You will devour my soul. Please do not let me stop you.”
Kamen lightened his grip, hearing the grief in the priest’s voice. “Isis, what are you doing to yourself?”
The priest’s eyes flashed white. “She will feel my pain.”
“So you are mutilating yourself?” Kaman asked, distraught by how far Nebt’s betrayal had driven Inpu. “If you want Nebt to pay for what she has done, then fight her.”
Inpu’s eyes dimmed. “You would not understand.”
Kamen let go of him and stepped back. “No I don’t. Nor do I understand why Nebt would do this to you.” The bond between mates was all encompassing, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Gods sacrificed a part of their souls to be together, not a decision taken lightly. A part, Inpu would never get back from Nebt, and worse, he could never get rid of hers.
Mates were meant to be together to share and shoulder each other’s pain, joy and powers. If one suffered, so would the other. Kamen’s thoughts drifted to Kit. He could not ask her to share his life. He cared for her too much to burden her with his curse. He could not fathom what sharing a part of his soul would mean to hers. The beast would either cure her or kill her.
“We may never know the reason why Nebt did this, but the fact is, she is gone,” Kamen said solemnly. Maybe the ability to read others’ souls tainted Nebt’s view of the world. Only upon her judgment would the truth be known.
Inpu slumped back down to the floor and leaned his head back on the stone. “You know the worst part about this. I would take her back,” Inpu said with a palpable amount of disgust.
Kamen did not understand that reasoning. Nebt had cheated on him with Kepi. Offered the Underworld up to their enemies and staked Inpu to the wall. “You say that now, but in time I believe you will see things differently.”
Inpu chuckled darkly. “Until then, leave me to my self-destruction.”
Kamen stooped down in front of the god. “I am not here to interfere with your grieving. I need your insight on Apep.”
“Nasty fellow.”
“He has infected Kit. Nebt sent her to Duat. Kit is back, but…”
“Only those who want to be tainted are.”
“It is very subtle.”
The priest looked up at him. “Nothing Apep touches is subtle. You of all people should know that. If she is infected, it will grow and he will control her. There is no stopping it.”
“Asar believes her transition will slow the progression. There has to be a spell, potion—something.”
“Soldiers who had sworn their life and allegiance to preserve humanity fell in days. Humans are morally weaker, much easier to influence. She will turn.”
“I cannot accept that outcome.” Kamen grabbed his chest, the pain unbearable. “You know what that will mean for me.”
Inpu frowned and looked down at his arms. “Take my advice, Kamen. Stay far away from Kit because very soon you will need to kill her.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kit lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling, with Cyclops at her side. After long deliberations she was at an impasse. She had never had to work to lure men into her bed. In fact they had been lined up at her door. What did she have to show for it?
She never cared enough to get to know her previous boyfriends because they were always temporary. She was the love them and leave them kind. No strings. No attachments. Like the others, she knew little about Kamen, despite him being at her side non-stop for six months. How did he end up the Devourer? Did he do anything beyond being Asar’s bodyguard? It shocked her to realize she wanted to know these things about him. He was so secretive, hiding his emotions and past from her. From everyone, she imagined.
Not that she was one to talk. She had been keeping her vision from her sisters for years, and even now in the face of war, she kept her gifts hidden deep.
She had no idea what she would to say to Kamen. He had seen what she’d done to the other men, leaving without a note or a word goodbye. How could she explain to him, he would be different than all the rest, even when she could not make the promise of staying? Not when her dreams told her otherwise. Could she use him that way?
Exhausted, she pulled the bear to her chest and curled on her side. Not quite comfortable, she flopped onto her other side. Her back. Then her stomach.
She growled and threw another pillow across the room. She sat up and fingered the stuffing at Cyclops’s neck. The bear needed some serious repair. Maybe Kamen had some needle in thread. Yeah, good excuse to go bug him and give him hell for not coming to see her. She flipped off the bed and headed out the door. With the hallways dark at this late hour, she slipped easily down the corridors to Kamen’s room.
She didn’t bother to knock but glided through the unlocked door. She crept silently forward. A strange need to be with him and to feel safe, propelled her to the edge of his bed.
It never took long for him to sense her. In fact, he probably knew the minute she left her room. “Hi, I…” She squeezed the bear tighter, completely befuddled. Tears welled in her eyes. God, why did she have to lose it?
“I wanted to thank you again, for…” she cleared her throat, “saving me.” Her hands started shaking. She’d invaded his space—something she knew he protected fiercely. For the first time fear crept along her spine. Her cheeks flushed with warmth, realizing how inappropriate she had been barging into his room. “Well, that’s what I came to say.”
Mortified, she ran to the door, cursing herself. What the hell was wrong with her? She had never in her life been this needy, let alone afraid.
She grabbed the door handle and yanked, but the door wouldn’t budge. She rattled the handle and jerked it. All futile attempts. Kamen’s large hand was planted against it.
Warmth radiated against her back. His fingers grazed the inside of her arm, coaxing her to him. She blew out a staggered breath. Such little contact had her heart racing. He turned and guided her b
ack to the bed. Slipping onto the mattress, she laid her head on the pillow with her teddy bear curled tight against her chest.
He pulled the sheet and then the heavy fur throw over her. Looking up at his face she gauged his mood from the color of his eyes, but she couldn’t differentiate black from brown in the darkness. At least the flames were not flickering behind them.
Standing at the edge of the bed he stared down at her as if he had never seen a woman in his bed before. His eyes shifted to the couch in the corner.
“I’m sorry. For everything,” Kit said, snagging his hand.
Pulling his hand out of hers, he abruptly turned and disappeared into the bathroom. She sagged into the mattress and gazed at the scrolled glyphs on the ceiling. Several of the symbols matched the hieroglyphics carved into the sandstone at the beach. She shifted her gaze to the bathroom door. Minutes passed before he walked back out and stood at the other side of the bed.
“I’m making you uncomfortable, aren’t I?”
He took a deep breath and held it. “I am just not used to sharing,” he finally spoke. The bed was huge enough they could fit three of him before they would ever touch, but she was beginning to believe that wasn’t the issue here.
“I can leave.” She sat up and swung her legs over the bed.
“Kit.”
She looked over her shoulder.
“What is the real reason you are here?”
Her mouth went dry and her heart pounded in her chest. It took all her courage to ask the question. “What’s going to happen to me?”
He exhaled a long breath.
“I know you will tell me the truth.”
He shifted onto the mattress, his chest and shoulders flexing as he rolled onto his back. Thin hair scattered across his chest, down a molten six pack and disappeared below his low rise waistband.
Based on how stiff he lay next to her, he really wasn’t used to sharing a bed. She turned on her side facing him, so she could look at his profile. His hands rested on his chest. Her eyes traced the silhouette of his nose, mouth and jaw. Everything about him had hard edges, except his full lips that curved perfectly.
